Me: I just recenly fell in love with Full metal alchemist yaoi, and then I came up with this, I hope you like it!!

Ed: What the hell's yaoi??

Me: this may take some explaining....

DISCLAIMER: I do not in any way own full metal alchemist, cause if I did...well lets just say that it would be rated M...

Ed could feel his mind reel, as he unconsciously ran his flesh hand over the cold steel of his metal arm, causing him to shudder lightly. He could feel his eyes sting, but he clenched them shut, willing away the tears. Damn, he wanted to cry. To cry for hours, without worrying about being caught, or seen.

But did he really deserve to cry? After what he had done.

If only he had listened to his teacher, or Al, then he wouldn't be feeling like this. They had warned him about human transmutation. Ed fisted his shirt, right over his heart, as if to stop the pain. It didn't work, but at least it provided some sort of comfort.

" Brother!" A voice called, clanking steps were heard a little way from the door. Ed immediately brought his hands up to swipe at the few stray tears that had managed to slide down his cheeks.

Suddenly, the clanking of Al's footsteps was heard on the other side of the door to Ed's room.

Ed's eyes widened, he wasn't ready yet. Taking quick, calming breaths, Ed finished drying his eyes, his throat tight, as he tried to hold back more tears.

Slowly, The door hesitantly opened revealing a large, if not bulky, suit of armor. It was a deep gray, it's eyes red, and filled with the only bit of humanity Al had not left behind, during that fateful night. Seeing that his brother was decent, Al stepped into the room, his red gaze on his older brother.

" Brother, are you hungry?" Al's voice echoed lightly, though his soul was placed in a suit of armor Al's voice had never lost that warm fuzzy tone it had had when he was a child. Though it was somewhat deeper. That alone gave Ed the will to smile, even with guilt gnawing at his stomach.

" Nah, it's fine I ate a little while ago." The eldest Elric brother lied. Truth be told, Ed tried to eat as little as possible. Al couldn't eat, so it was hardly fair that he could stuff his face.

Al just looked at him for a second. Ed's smile faltered slightly.

" Are you sure brother, I really can't remember the last time I've seen you eat." Ed growled in his head.

'Damn, Al's just as perceptive as always.'

" What are you talking about, " The blond lied smoothly, " We ate lunch together yesterday." Al stared at him again. Ed just waited unsure of the thoughts going through his brothers head, it was hard to tell from the lack of facial expressions he could make in the suit. Ed felt guilt rack through him.

It was all his fault... God, what he would give to see his brother smile again.

" If you say so brother, but your not going to get any taller if you don't eat." Al commented, waiting for his brother to break out into a fit, about him being small.

It never came.

Now Al was sure something was wrong. His brother always went crazy when he was called small.

" Brother?" Ed snapped out of his guilt filled haze, immediately noticing his mistake.

" RAWR! I AM NOT SO SMALL THAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO SQUINT TO SEE ME THROUGH A MICROSCOPE!" Ed made up quickly, jumping to his feet, and playfully hitting his brother on the chest, causing the suit of armor to echoe. Al laughed a little, trying to hide his concern.

" Whatever you say brother."

XXX

Later that day Ed and Al were called to central, with a new mission. Both boys walked through the entrance doors, and quietly made their way to colonial Roy Mustangs office. Ed didn't bother to knock as he shoved open the doors, smirking. He knew that it annoyed Mustang to no end when he didn't show him the respect everyone else did.

' That morally corrupt bastard' Edward joked in his mind, his smirk still in place when he entered Mustangs office.

And as he had guessed, Mustang was irritated, his eye brow twitching.

" Full Metal."

" Bastard" Roy glared, as Ed smiled at him. Al had to stifle a laugh.

" Oh colonial sir, What's our new mission?" The younger Elric asked eagerly, glancing at the file in Mustangs hands. Mustang sighed,

" It seems to be that there has been a new development in the case of the philosopher stone." This immediately grabbed Ed's attention.

It was a chance to redeem himself.

" Whats the mission?" Ed asked eagerly, running up to the desk to snatch the file, only to have it pulled out of his reach, by a smirking Roy.

" Well, if you must know, there seems to be a disturbance in a small village northeast of here. There have been rumors that a beautiful woman with a tattoo in between her breasts, and a horribly dressed person, who seems to be male, have been walking around, as of late." Ed gasped lightly,

" Lust and Envy!" Roy nodded.

" But what would they be doing there?" Al asked eagerly. Roy looked over to him, his cobalt eyes flashing dangerously.

" We believe that they're going to be using the area to create a philosopher stone." Both Al and Ed stilled. There was a small silence.

" So what are we supposed to do?" Al said finally. Roy sighed, scratching his head lightly.

" Well we want you to go to this village on a special Military railway, and go undercover to figure out the specifics of what going on." Ed nodded eagerly, glancing back at the folder again.

" Sounds good, but" He trailed off. Roy raised an eyebrow before questioning,

" What?" Ed turned to look at Al,

" I know we're going to be going in disguise, and a giant suit of armor isn't exactly....ya' know, stealthy." the eldest Elric finished off lamely, his cheecks tinged pink from embarassment. Roy nodded, a smirk on his face,

" I have already thought of that Full metal, and that is exactly why I will be joining you on your affair." Ed's mouth dropped, while Al 's head rolled off making a clanking noise as it hit the ground.

Roy stared at them.

" What?"

Ed coughed,

" Well were just a little suprized I suppose, it's usually just me and Al, right Al?" Ed looked over to Al, and immediatly noticed his brother's headless disposition. Smiling sadly, Ed got to his knees, to pick up his brothers head, before standing and placing it on the suit of armor.

" There ya' go Al."

" Thanks brother," Al said, looking back to Roy.
" So when do My brother and I, oh, I mean, when do we leave?" The younger of the two corrected.

Roy seemed to think for a moment,

" Tonight, you of all people must understand the severity of the situation." Ed nodded, his face seemingly tired and distressed. Roy noticed this, but let it slide.

" So, I don't believe there is anything you two will be needing, we will supply cloths, food and shelter on this trip, as well as traveling expenses." Ed nodded again, before turning to leave,

" I'm going to go call us a cab." He sighed over his shoulder before leaving the room. Al went to follow until Roy called out,

" Al wait a minute!" Al immediately turned to look at Roy, his red eyes shimmering,

" Yes Colonial?" Roy looked up at the rather large suit of armor.

" Is there something wrong with Ed?" the black haired man questioned, Al nodded to himself absentmindedly.

" I thought so to, Brother has been acting rather strangely, but I thought maybe I was overlooking things." he sighed.

Roy nodded,

" Did you notice how pale he is? " the colonial added," He seems smaller to." He trailed off.

' If thats physically possible' Roy coughed to himself. Al nodded,

" Thanks for telling me colonial, I thought it was only me noticing these things."

The colonial nodded,

" I suppose we'll have to keep an eye on him then," Roy guessed, Al nodded eagerly.

" I guess so."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

After their private chat, the three alchemists were on their way. The cab arrived almost immediately, it was a little shabby cab, one that wasn't quite yellow, but more of a deep green. It's windows were tinged brown, and the interior was raggedy and old. Ed opened the car door, and sat in the passengers seat almost immediately, the worn leather squeaking as he sat. Which left Al and Roy in the back, which was fairly spacey, giving both them enough space to breath. Roy sighed in relief when he realized that he wasn't going to be squished.

On the ride all of the passengers were quiet, Roy and Al mostly watched Ed who seemed to be in his own world as he watched the world pass by outside the window. After the cab arrived, and squeaked to a halt, Roy paid the man, because a certain blond haired teen had suddenly disappeared. Only to return once the cab had left. After penalizing Ed about not paying, all three of them went to go buy tickets. It was quiet, and not much was said as they purchased their tickets and boarded the train. That was until,

" Um, Colonial?" Roy looked over, slightly suprized. Ed coughed lightly,

" Um, would you mind, if I sat in the window seat?" Roy looked down at Ed, suprize evident on his face.

" Uh, yeah sure." Ed nodded in thanks, before seating himself by the window. His eyes immediately locking with the world outside his window. Roy and Al silently seated themselves. Al sat on the opposite side of the private booth they had ordered. (A/N military soldiers get their own carts..)

Al needed the whole seat due to his side, so Roy sat himself next to Ed.

Soon the train started up and shot off, causing the carts to shudder lightly. The ride went in silence for awhile, all of them too lost in thought to speak.

Suddenly, Roy was knocked out of his train off thought from a sudden pressure on his shoulder. He looked over to see a lithe, blond haired teen sleeping on his shoulder.

Roy smirked redily, he couldn't wait to tell Ed tomorrow, the teen would surely throw a fit. He could already imagine the look on Ed's face, when he blushed, and stuttered angrily, saying that he was a lying, morally corrupt, bastard. Roy smirked happily, as he looked down to said teen.

Then, upon further inspection, Roy noticed the small teen, was sweating slightly, his eyes lightly clampt shut, and his brows furrowed in distress.

" Al? Al?" Roy questioned, causing the head of the suit of armor to shoot up.

" Yeah?" Al asked hesitantly. The colonial pointed to Ed,

" Is he ok?" the youngest Elric looked over to his older brother, who was currently twitching in his sleep. Anxiety pulsed through Al.

" Is he alright? Is he having a nightmare?" Roy just shrugged, careful not to wake the sleeping teen.

" How the hell am I supposed to-"

Suddenly, Ed's hand shot up, it grasped the shirt over his hard so hard, his knuckles turned white. Ed let out a strangled gasp, his breath coming in small, quick, gasps. Roy and Al immediately panicked.

" Crap!" The Colonial swore under his breath as he pulled Ed's shirt out of the vice grip of his last real hand. By this point Al was on his feet, almost completely hunched over Ed, but not too close so he didn't get in the colonials way.

Immediately, Roy thought Ed was having some kind of hard attack. Quickly he went over things he had learned in the Ishbalin war about the heart. As different procedures of action ran through his head, Roy unclasped Ed's hand, with some difficulty, before un-zippering his large red jacket.

After successfully removing the jacket, Roy lifted Ed's shirt, his eyes widening at the unexpected sight before him.

Ed's torso was a sickening pale color, almost as if he was dead, and his small ribs were all sickeningly visible, prodding lightly at the skin above them.

Al gasped once he saw what Ed looked like.

" Colonial! What's happening to him?" Al cried , his voice echoing as he grabbed onto Roy's sleeve. The older man just traced his hand lightly against Ed's prodding ribs, as if to see if they were truly real. Different scenarios began to run through his head. Could it be a side effect from when they had tried to transmute their mother? Or maybe they had been short on money? No, if that was the case Mustang was sure Ed would to come to him complaining about it. Finally the only logical solution came to him,

" Has he been starving himself? " Roy could feel the immediate fear from Al caused by his question. After a long pause Al finally shook his head, causing a small rattling sound.

" I....I don't know.."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ugh," the small teen groaned, his eyes blinking rapidly to adjust to his surroundings. He sat up slowly, knowing that if he sat up to fast he would make himself sick.

" Brother?" Ed looked over to the suit of armor sitting across from him.

" Al?" Ed yawned, "What time is it?" Then took a look around.

" And where the hell are we?" Al looked at Ed for a moment before answering,

"We're at the hotel brother. The colonial carried you in." The younger of the two Elric brothers commented. Edward nodded slightly. Drowsiness still edging in the corner of his mind. Raising his arms, Ed stretched, cracking his back, then with a satisfied sigh, fell back onto the bed.

Suddenly Ed heard a small squeaking sound, which began to get louder and louder every moment, as if it was getting closer. Then he smelt it. There was no doubt about it. There was a food cart coming. Ed silently prayed in his head. 'Don't come here, don't come here.'

But Ed knew his wish fell upon deaf ears, once he heard the handle to the door, jiggle a little, before the door opened.

Ed swore under his breath,

There was the colonial, with a cart with what seemed to be a mountain of food on it, though to many people it wasn't that much.

" Oh finally awake I see." the colonial joked, though Ed could of swore there was an icy edge to it.

The oldest Elric nodded, his eyes still glued to the massive tray of food.

Coughing lightly Ed asked,

" Um, So is that all for you or...." He trailed of lamely, causing Roy to smirk.

" Nope I already ate. This is all yours." Ed forgot how to breath for a second.

" All that food? No, I think I'm good." He lied, absentmindedly grasping the sheet of the bed. Roy noticed this and pushed the cart over to Ed.

" Your eating Ed, whether you like it or not. And that's an order." Ed went to retort something, but kept quiet from the look Roy was giving him. Mumbling angrily, Ed looked over to the cart, and noticed a large carton of milk.

" Bastard." Ed whispered loud enough for Mustang to hear.

" I know you are but what am I? " Roy teased. Ed seemed to think a moment.

"Oh I'm sorry I meant a morally corrupt, womanizing bastard. Thanks for reminding me." Roy's eye twitched, before he pointed to the tray.

Ed looked back over to the tray, knowing there was no way he could procrastinate this any longer, before grabbing one of the forks on the cart. He slowly began to eat some waffles, completely aware of the two people currently watching him.

After a while Ed finally finished off two waffles, and had drank some orange juice, glaring at the milk as he did so.

Immediately after eating the 2 waffles, which really wasn't that much, Ed could already feel his stomach cry out in protest. He felt his gut do flips, and felt a wave of nausea hit him, causing him to sway lightly.

" Um," Ed coughed, " I'm just going to go to the bathroom really fast." Slowly, so he didn't make himself more nauseous, Ed got up and began to walk for the bathroom. Only to be stopped by a large arm in his way. Ed looked up confused,

" Why the rush Full metal?" Roy asked, his tone a little icier than Ed would have liked. The eldest Elric thought quickly.

" Well, I dunno, maybe I'm going to the bathroom to take a leak." Ed bit sarcastically, his voice squeaking at the end, when his stomach did a sudden flip, causing him to taste the sudden bile in the back of his throat. Roy looked down at him.

" Sorry Full metal I can't let you go." Ed glared at him,

" Why the hell not?" He said impatiently, knowing if he yelled, he would upchuck all over the colonial, which at this point, didn't sound like such a bad Idea.

Roy just stood there. Ed's stomach flipped again, unhappy about all the food he had just eaten. Attempting to pass the colonial, Ed tried to duck under Roy's arm only to be pushed backwards, causing some of the vomit to rise in his throat. Holding it back Ed shot forward, only to skid to a stop when a familiar suit of armor stood in his way.

" Sorry brother." Al apologized, wrapping an arm around Ed's stomach, and pushing the elder Elric's back against the suit of armor.

The sudden pressure to his gut was too much, and he could feel the throw up in the back of his throat. Ed couldn't hold back when his body shook intensely, before he gagged, his vomit spraying onto the floor. The room was silent, with only the sound of Ed's labored breathing echoing off the room.

After getting back his breath, Ed realized what had just happened and his hand instinctively shot up to cover his mouth, his eyes wide like a child who had gotten caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.

" So Ed, " Roy asked, his tone so cold it made Ed wince, " Care to tell us why you've been starving yourself?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Me: Well I hope you liked it! I'm going to be good and update this soon! I promise! So please don't kill me!!!
Ed: So wait i'm an uke? And what the hell is that exactly?

Me: um well * whispers in Ed's ear*

Ed: WHAT THE F***!! WHY AM I THE BOTTOM?!?!?! WHAT THE HELLS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?

Me: Its not my fault your so short!

Ed: I AM NOT SO SHORT THAT IF A TRIED TO DRINK FROM A GLASS THAT I'D FALL INTO IT AND DROWND!

ME: I never said that!! Where the hell are you getting this from!!! * twitch*