Title: Good bye
Rating: T
Summary: He knew for a long time this was coming. For a long time that he was just stealing. It just hurt that he couldn't do anything to help when it mattered most. Warning character death, suicide and lot's of depressing themes.
Pairings: Icekong, Norkong
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia
***Hetalia***
Lukas took a deep breath as he passed through the iron gates, swallowing back the lump in his throat as he made his way down the dirt path, keeping the bouquet of flowers close to his chest as he made his way. He knew for a long time this was coming. For a long time that he was just stealing, and it bothered him to no end. Especially since he knew how badly he was hurting Emil in the process. Still at the time, that didn't seem to matter to him much. All that mattered was that they were happy and together.
He remembered not being a fan of the teen at first, thinking he was snarky with a horrible 'I don't care' attitude. But after he and Emil had fought and broke up, he remembered talking the Chinese boy down a bit. That was the first real connection they made. The day they went from enemies to friends.
Things only escalated from there, it wasn't long before they became lovers, despite the Norwegian's doubts about their being so far apart in age.
"Don't you one me Luke?"
"Ja, more than anything."
"Then don't worry about it. We're nations anyway, so it's really just a pointless number."
'You were such a reckless idiot back then Li, but I suppose I was too.' he thought, kneeling down on the ground.
They had been so in love. Through good times and bad they were together, and it wasn't until five years had passed that he noticed that Emil was really suffering without Li. He never knew his brother relied on him so much, and yet here he was turning a blind eye and stealing him away right from under his younger brother's nose.
That tore him apart. He loved Li, but he couldn't stand watching his brother suffer like that. It was too much for his mind. At first he kept it to himself to prevent the two from worrying, slowing getting thinner as he refused meals and growing more distant from the both of them.
"This isn't like you Lukas, if something is wrong you can tell me. Did I do something to upset you?"
"Nei, you didn't do anything. It's nothing."
"Don't pull that shit with me! Look at you, you're wasting away! Please talk to me! I thought you trusted me more than this!"
"I do trust yo-"
"Then tell me!"
'That wasn't my best decision. Actually, it was my worst. I regret that every day of my life.' the blonde thought to himself.
After that little outburst he did tell him. Everything, that was on his mind and even made a request of him. He just wanted for Emil and him to at least be friends, but even that didn't come without it's repercussions. It quickly became apparent that Emil still loved Li, and Lukas was nearing his limit. He couldn't watch him suffer any longer. That was when he made the biggest mistake that he had ever made.
"Why are you leaving me?"
"It's not you, Li, it's me. We're just too different."
"No, that's not it. Tell me the truth, what is it? There's someone else isn't there?"
"….. Ja, there is. I'm sorry Li."
"No, no you aren't."
For a year he hadn't seen Li since that fight. However when he did see him again he found out that he was still holding out for him. Found out that while Emil and Li were good friends he was still holding out for him. Emil was still hurting, and he was still indirectly the source.
"You know Emil, I was actually considering asking him to marry me."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, but I figured he probably wouldn't have wanted too, and China would have flipped anyway. But I know he'll come back to me. He loves me."
"Don't be so certain."
"Storebror!?"
"You were listening?"
"Ja, I was and I'm not asking you now, I'm telling you, you need to move on. You and I are never going to be together."
"… I think you both need to leave."
"But I didn't do anything to you."
"I SAID LEAVE!"
"Emil, I'm sorry. I was just trying to help."
"Well thanks you your help now he won't even want to be friends! You're the worst!"
"I told my biggest lie that day. The truth is Li, I do still love you, more than anything, and getting married and settling down is all I've ever wanted. There was never anyone else, only you." Lukas said, setting the flowers down on the base of the grave marker, "I just wish I hadn't been so blind. Not only did I lose Emil that day, but I lost you too. The only person I've ever loved."
His vision blurred, and before he could stop himself the tears couldn't stop. It hurt too badly, knowing he was now alone. The two most important people in his life now gone before his eyes. Emil had moved back to his apartment in Reykjavik, and Hong kong overdosed on pills. They had found him with a picture in hand, a picture of them from only a year and a half prior. Back on their last date, when they were happy, when they were honest, but also when they were stealing from the disgruntled Icelandic.
"I'm sorry, Li. I'm so sorry, jeg elsker deg, although it's really no good now. I should have told you that sooner when you could hear me. I miss you, so much." he couldn't manage anymore, simply choosing to remain where he was, crying until he no longer had any tears to shed, but still continuing with tearless sobs well into the next morning.
***Hetalia***
A.Q.: *Sobbing* Don't ask please, just went through something really rough and needed to vent. It didn't work well. Excuse me while I cry this out.
