"So was I"
Tony's words kept playing over and over again in Steve's head. He hadn't meant to choose Bucky over Tony. It wasn't like that; they weren't up against each other. Bucky needed him right now and Tony didn't. There were so many people were out to get him. To kill him. There was no way that Steve could leave him to face the danger alone, even if that meant going up against Tony.
Still, his heart ached as the words echoed in his brain. They had been friends and could have been more, but Steve knew there was no going back. Even though it pained him to push Tony away, he still believed in what he was doing. That's what made it so hard. Tony believed in what he was doing too. They didn't always see eye to eye. Rarely did, if Steve was being honest. But he knew that deep down they were both good men and were only doing what they thought needed to be done.
He sat on the floor up against the concrete wall, his head in his hands. They'd managed to make it out, but just barely. It took both him and Bucky to stop Tony, and he knew that Rhodey had gotten hurt in the fray as well. Steve didn't know his status, but he prayed that Rhodey was ok. These were his friends and now here with their blood on his hands.
"You ok?"
Steve looked up to see Sam standing above him, concern on his face.
"Yeah" Steve answered, though they both knew he was lying. He shifted, wincing at the pain shooting through his body. Though his wounds were healing quickly, he'd gotten pretty banged up and knew that everyone else was in worse shape.
"Ok" Sam said, taking the hint. "Let me know if you need anything" he said, walking back towards the others who were patching themselves up and comparing intel.
Steve's head dropped again as he focused on the pain before it was gone. His mind drifted back to Tony, wondering what shape he was. He trusted the suit to keep Tony safe, even after what he and Bucky had done. Tears stung Steve's eyes as he replayed the scene, blow by blow, hearing Tony's pleas for him to come to his senses and think about what he was doing.
He looked over to where Bucky was standing, deep in conversation with Clint. He was the only one who could relate to how Steve was feeling right now. He didn't like to let his feelings show, usually keeping a tight lid on his emotions, but Steve could tell that going up against Natasha was wearing on him. They didn't trust people as a rule, but grew to trust each other. Now they were on opposite sides and that trust had been broken.
Steve sighed. Bucky was safe, for now, and they were together. That was what mattered right now. Steve knew they had to keep moving; it wouldn't be long before they were tracked to the abandoned building they were holed up in. One everyone had regrouped, they would probably have to face off against Tony, Nat, and the others again, but he had to hold on to the knowledge that he was doing what was right.
Steve saw the looks directed his way when they thought he wasn't looking. Slowly he stood, making his way over to the group. They turned to him, awaiting his call on the next move. He had to push his feelings down, ignore them until it was all over. Only then, when the dust had settled, could he see what was left, what could be repaired. Maybe there'd be nothing, but the only way he'd make it through was with the belief that things would work out.
Nothing would ever be the same, but he'd never give up hope.