Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass.

Wishful Thinking…

Chapter 1: Nothing important

I remembered pain. Sharp pain. And a sense of finality.

I remembered smiling at it, and at something else. Perhaps at pain and sadness that belonged not to me but his.

Slumping forward, my head came to rest against a shoulder. "This is also a punishment for you," I barely recognized my own voice speaking those words as I felt satisfaction, relief almost, set in -- as though something important had been accomplished. "You will be the defender of justice and wear a mask forever…. You will no longer," a hand that was clutching soaked fabric loosened and weakly reached up to touch a defined, faceless mask, "be able to live as Kururugi Suzaku…"

The rigid figure beneath me trembled despite his effort to remain still. Familiar sadness stirred in me. And with it, gladness. That's right…

This was how it should be.

"You will sacrifice all of your happiness for the world…"

I was happy because it was him…

I wanted him to know that I was glad it was him who…

"…eternally…"

And in that sharp withdrawing of the sword, I knew he understood and that he accepted his…curse.

But there's something else… someone else that I must… see….

Determinedly, I staggered forward. Losing strength, I fell on my knees and tumbled, sliding down the blue silk…

…to where she was.

Through white mist, I saw cascading soft brown, lavender eyes, and a wondering expression. Fleetingly, I thought of another wish of mine that was never spoken and never granted.

"…Oniisama?"

I love you. I love you. More than anything and anyone in this world I…

A small hand touched mine. I…remembered her hand.

What I didn't foresee happened then, and vaguely I took notice of it in her broken whispers. "It can't be… Brother… you were… all along…"

Her hands took mine and she brought it to her face. "Oniisama," tears fell about my fingers, "I love you!"

Till this moment, I didn't dare to hope to hear those words from her ever again. I didn't realize that she would…

"Yes…I…"

All the same I was grateful.

"destroyed…worlds…"

I wished… I really wished that I could…

"…create…worlds…"

…be with both of you…

"Oniisama!"

…that time… a little longer….

"…san… ? Niisan?"

He woke with a slight start. Blinking to clear away the hazy white fog, he found himself looking into another set of lavender colored eyes. They were of lighter shade and less blue than…

…Whose?

"Finally you woke up," he said, sighing with relief. "It seemed you were having a bad dream and I called you several times but you wouldn't wake up. Are you feeling all right?"

He pushed himself up to a sitting position and put a hand to his head. Sleep was retreating fast and with it something…. Something very important…

"Niisan?"

He looked up.

Standing close by, His younger brother was looking at him worriedly. It came to him, then, that he had yet to answer his question earlier.

He smiled. "I'm all right, Rolo. I'm sorry to have worried you. I'll be down in a moment."

But Rolo wasn't reassured and he wouldn't leave the bedside.

Lelouch chuckled. "It was a bad dream as you said. One that I can't remember anymore."

"You can't?" asked Rolo, not quite believing.

Lelouch shook his head and, playfully pushing his brother aside, got off the bed. "No, I can't. I only remember that it's a long and a strange one – but not something too important," he started to unbutton his shirt. "Did you make some coffee?"

"I made breakfast and--"

A loud explosion cut him off.

"…Shirley made coffee. Yes, of course," finished Lelouch passively, not at all surprised, while hands smoothly continuing with their current task. "A good thing that I switched the china set last night to something cheaper, too."

A series of breaking sound followed right after the word left his mouth. They sounded very much like the demise of the cheap set he had just spoken of.

Rolo sighed. "But niisan, I don't like plastic."

"Nor do I. That's why you will go to town with Euphemia to get another set today. Actually--" he thought a moment. "Make it two. It's quite a bother to have to go so often; it's already nearing exam time and there are more reports we have to look through at the council. And, no matter what she says, don't let her persuade you into agreeing and buying a pink or rose patterned set. We have plenty of those and I don't like to look at them."

Rolo frowned. He would rather go with his brother (then he wouldn't have to worry about pink or flowers) but… Lelouch, being vice-president of the student council (with Euphemia as president) and all, was almost always very busy.

"I didn't know that Euphemia-san could be this clumsy, though," he grumbled.

"Euphie by herself is not so bad," murmured Lelouch absently. "It's only when she's with Shirley she becomes that much worse. By the way," he turned to his younger brother, shirt unbuttoned and wryly smiling. "How long are you going to stand there? Do you intend to watch me change, Rolo?"

Color flooded the boy's face at once and, because he looked so very much like a ripe tomato and the way he stammered unintelligibly and stumbling himself out was that funny, Lelouch couldn't help but laughed out loud. Rolo didn't like him laughing at him and he minded not to do it too often. He would know to count this one as one of the few times he did so this month.

The door closed shut, hurried footsteps fading fast, soon he was once more by himself.

A sober and thoughtful look replaced the lighthearted smile. He stood still, gazing into the darker part of the room as though seeing something that was not there and yet existed somehow.

"…nii…sama…"

A breeze stole through the folds of heavy curtains and, caressingly, passed by him. If he listened hard enough, perhaps he would hear her broken whispers in its breath. If he waited long enough, perhaps he would feel a ghost of her unending tears in its kiss. And if he wished for it enough, perhaps he would…

"Nothing important," he stated coldly to the silent room.

Throwing the night shirt to the floor, he opened the wardrobe and took out a neatly pressed black uniform.

"Still..." a curious sort of smile curled his mouth, though his expression was rueful. "Maybe it's not a good idea to visit mother today after all. She's not going to let it go and I will be forced to have tea with father, so..."

…remember….

"I think I will pass."