A/N: First story published. Please be nice!
"A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic." ~Joseph Stalin
Napoleon was a jerk, so they kept Snowball... They sent Napoleon to the horse slaughterer and used his hooves for glue to hold together their dying civilization. His ears were cut off and dried, to be used as doggie chew toys to make all the dogs happy... but the dogs were too dangerous. In fact, all dogs should be killed, but none of the animals were strong enough to take the dogs on alone. Luckily, they realized that all they had to do was punch one dog in the face while they were all sleeping and the dogs would fight until one was left standing. Then they would bring in Lenny...
To Lenny they gave the final dog and an order to pet him. Shortly after Lenny did away with the dog, George came, sat by Lenny, and said "you can keep the rabbits" before blowing Lenny's head off at point blank range with a lovely C96 Mauser Pistol and an RPG. Then, all Animal Farm would be left with was George.
On word from a top-secret source (definitely not Atticus the Finch), the animals brought in Scout. Scout then assassinated George as he had 'accidentally' killed Boo Radley. Unfortunately for Scout, she would not live to rejoice in her kill. Although small, she still was human and therefore a threat to the animals, so they had to bring in Demetrius, slayer of small children.
On their orders Demetrius cut off her head. But Demetrius would not stay there much longer either. As always, he stalked Hermia. The animals carefully painted a massive arrow on the side of the barn and wrote HERMIA above it and so Demetrius left...
This left Animal Farm with no humans, no dogs, and no Napoleon. However, Oberon had become angry with Bottom for his wife had taken a liking to him and his head. As a result, Oberon became jealous of Bottom's ass head. He was so infuriated, he smothered Bottom as he slept beside his wife, Titania. However, Oberon thought to himself "A beautiful ass head like Bottom's must be immortalized!", so he mounted it in his living room with a genuine wooden backing with a "B" under it. (He also got his wife back, but that's irrelevant to the true calling of this story)
Although everything seemed fine and dandy, Animal Farm came into the house for the 'rollicking good time' the fairies were so famous for. They saw the ass head on the wall, and sadly mistook it for Benjamin. This made them very angry to have been betrayed by their apparent friends, so They stampeded and burned down the house. As the final smoke cleared, they saw Benjamin coming out of the field where he had been quietly grazing. The animals asked him how he had survived when they had seen his head on the wall. He replied "Have you ever seen a dead donkey?" Angered by his obnoxious response, they told him where Oberon had gone and claimed that he had sugar and carrots and other donkey treats...
Oberon threw a hissy-fit when Benjamin walked in, thinking that Bottom had been revived, so he killed Benjamin, and placed his head next to the bottom of the actual Bottom. It is very likely that he never understood that there could be two different donkeys.
THE END
A/N This wonderful story was inspired by a chat... Which would explain the randomness ;)