Directions

Chapter 1

Luffy had never had to deal with insomnia before. He never knew the meaning of the word.

Literally. He didn't know what it meant.

Whenever he had trouble sleeping, the culprit was always a simple case of empty stomach. It was never anxiety or worry that kept him up. Those were problems for people who didn't possess Luffy's unique worldview.

It perplexed him, then, as he sat up in his hammock bed, why he had such a hard time falling asleep since returning to the Thousand Sunny. He didn't feel particularly hungry at the moment. True, he was always hungry, but this wasn't starvation. His stomach wasn't growling, at least. For some reason he still felt like something was missing, like he wasn't quite satisfied. He didn't feel hungry, he felt empty.

He pondered the feeling for a moment and came to the conclusion that his brain was confused. The empty feeling wasn't unfamiliar to him. Jinbei and Rayleigh had brushed off those awkward moments as simple loneliness from being apart from his crew, and reassured him that he would be united with them eventually.

Now, of course, he was with his crew again, so it couldn't be loneliness. The only other option was that he really was just plain old ordinary hungry. So he decided the only way to cure this sudden bout of terrible not-sleepy would be to eat all the food in the refrigerator and fall into some kind of food coma. It was a brilliant plan, possibly the greatest he had ever come up with. And Monkey D. Luffy could come up with some ingenious plans.

He crawled out of bed, silent as can be, for he didn't want to disturb his slumbering crewmates. When he wanted to be, he could be a stealth master. He pressed against the wall and grabbed the doorknob leading out to the deck. The door made a creak that might as well have been cannons going off and Luffy froze, eyes wide, a bead of sweat running down his face. Fortunately the crew remained still and he slipped out the door with a sigh of relief.

His trek to the kitchen went without incident, but he still remained silent as the wind, just to be on the safe side. He put his hands on the refrigerator door, salivating at the rich treasures that lay inside. He gripped the handle, curling each individual finger around, and gave a sharp tug. The door remained firmly closed. Puzzled, he tried again, and then again. The gears in his head turned and the realization washed over him slowly.

Of course.

The lock.

The special lock Sanji had Franky place on the door for just such an occasion. The lock specifically designed to keep Luffy out of the fridge late at night. The lock designed to make sure the rest of the crew didn't starve.

That lock.

Luffy slumped his face against the fridge door, sinking down in broken defeat. He collapsed onto the floor in a pile of rubber limbs and let out an agonized groan.

"Luffy," said the voice that had been watching him the entire time.

He jumped to his feet and whirled around, his back pressed against the fridge, trying to look as innocent as possible. The voice either didn't buy his act or just didn't care enough to react with anything more than an exasperated scowl.

"Oi, Nami! You're down here! How did you sneak up on me like that!?" Luffy asked, still backed against the fridge.

"I didn't sneak up on you, I've been in the kitchen the whole time. Didn't you notice the lights were on?"

Luffy did a quick survey of the room. The lights were indeed on and judging by the path he took, he would have walked right in front of her.

"Honestly, when you're hungry, does any other thought cross your mind?" Luffy noticed how exhausted she looked, far more than her usual exasperation at him. She was sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded not by food, but by stacks of paper, bottles of ink, quills, and various rulers and straightedges.

He crossed his arms and tilted his head quizzically. "What're you doing down here anyway?"

Nami's head lowered and she rubbed her eyes with her thumb and forefinger. With a long, drawn out sigh, she explained. "At some point while we were separated, one of the shelves I keep my cartography equipment on collapsed. So ink spilled all over my work. So now I have to redraw my maps for..." she took another long sigh, with a slight whimper. "Whiskey Peak, Little Garden, the entirety of Alabasta, and Water 7."

"That sounds like an awful lot of work! Nami, can you open this fridge please?" he said without changing his tone.

"What kind of response is that?! This is when you say something like 'Aww Nami, is there anything I can do to help?' or 'You're such a diligent worker, Nami'!"

"Will you open the fridge if I help you?" he asked in that perfectly infuriating way that meant he was being completely earnest.

But Nami rose to her feet, stretching her back like a cat and shuffled to the fridge with half a scowl on her face. She slapped one hand over Luffy's eyes while using the other to enter in the password and even had the courtesy to open the door for him. "Just try not to eat everything for once. I'll be watching you."

He dove right in, pulling out a wide variety of meats and... well, it was mostly just meat. She leaned back against the stove and yanked on his ear when she decided he had taken enough. "You're lucky I'm here, Luffy. Otherwise you'd have to starve tonight."

He grinned wide as possible. "Yeah! I guess it's good you have work to do!"

Slamming the fridge shut and locking it, Nami led him back to the table. "I'd be doing all this in my room, but I hate working when Robin's asleep. I always feel like she's just faking it and is secretly watching me work..."

"Robin sure is weird..." they both took a seat next to each other and Nami resumed being hunched over, measuring distances, making the slightest marks on her maps with meticulous detail.

"Luffy, if you're serious about helping me, then keep talking to me," she said without looking up.

"Eh? Why's that?"

"It'll keep me active... I don't want to fall asleep right now, but I'm really tired..."

Luffy nodded intently, "I see, I see. Ehhh... what do we talk about?"

"I don't know! Whatever! Where were you for two years? Tell me about Rayleigh! Or about that Hancock woman! Tell me about Ace-!" she gasped as the last word fell out of her mouth and clasped a hand over it. Her eyes hesitated to meet Luffy's. He was looking at her, wearing a curious expression on his face. He had stopped eating for the moment. His eyes were wide, but blank, like he was expecting her to continue.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring him up... I don't know what I was thinking," she said, pulling her hand away from her mouth. "Luffy?"

"It's okay. What happened to Ace happened and I can't change it," he said plainly, although he broke eye contact with her to look down at the table.

Nami swallowed hard, unsure of what to do. It had been quite a while since the crew was united, and Luffy still hadn't talked about Ace. She wished he would talk more about his brother. She hated seeing her captain in a state like this, but she had no idea how to deal with him. Luffy pulled her out of her despair back in East Blue, and she longed for the chance to return the favor.

His head sank to the table and he buried his face in his arms.

"I was worried about you," she blurted out. "I'm sure everyone was, but I wanted to track you down. Make sure you were okay, you know?"

He tilted his head so one big, curious eye was exposed and watching her. "Why didn't you?"

"Because-" she sounded angry and forced a lighter tone, "You told us not to! Remember?"

"I know that. But you could've done what you wanted..." he said absently, turning his attention to a slice of meat in front of him and nibbling on it, chin still resting on the table. "It would've been less lonely if you showed up..."

"You would've been okay with that? Us disobeying your orders...?"

"I dunno. Maybe. I missed you a lot."

"I'm sure we all missed each other." Nami was far from stupid, and she had picked up on the fact that Luffy seemed only to be referring to her. He was the definition of transparent. Whatever he was feeling came out in one way or another. If he were any other man, this would be a clever, subtle way of flirting. With Luffy, it was a fairly obvious statement that he had missed her.

She wanted to deflect, to brush it off and talk more about the crew as a whole. She didn't want to acknowledge his attention focused specifically on her, but she couldn't fight back the urge to ask him, "You were really lonely?"

He lifted his head off the table, leaning it back against the chair to stare at the ceiling for a moment, before leaning forward and turning toward her. "I'm glad I told you all to wait two years, because everyone came back stronger than ever. But it was still hard without you there to help."

That was it. The conversation had become far too awkward for her to continue without pulling off the bandage all at once. Even if Chopper said to never do that. "Luffy..." she started, taking a deep breath. "Maybe I'm just too tired, but it... seems like you're talking a lot about me."

"Eh?" he looked puzzled. "What's that mean?"

"I mean, you keep saying you miss me," she was screaming internally to shut up now, pull out before it was too late. "Not the crew, but just... me," she couldn't stop herself, and was almost afraid of the way he was suddenly looking at her more intensely than before.

There were times, before they were separated, where Nami entertained the idea of Luffy fancying her. Brief moments, idle thoughts she allowed herself to have. A lot of his behavior toward her would, if it were any other man, indicate a hidden passion for her. Not only the lengths he would go to protect her, but also the depth in which he depended on her. It was all a bit romantic. Nami wasn't an innocent barmaid who fell for the first suave pirate captain that came her way, but she had to admit, there was definitely something appealing about Monkey D. Luffy.

Now it seemed that those little fantasies had the chance to become reality. Her stomach started to twist and she cleared her throat. "Even if I thought about going to find you, we both know I'd never disobey the captain's orders. Forget I even said anything."

Luffy tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy "Well I did miss you a lot, if that's what you mean. I missed you different from the others. I kept thinking about you a lot," he said it so plainly, so matter-of-factly that it took Nami off-guard.

Part of her wanted to drop it. She wanted to salvage this awful situation and leave it as just a horribly awkward late-night encounter, but she knew anything outside of standing up and leaving would be seen as a sign for Luffy to continue.

"You... did, huh?"

"Well... it was the old man that made it happen. He kept talking about Rouge."

"Rouge... Portgas... D. Rouge? The Pirate King's... wife?" Nami swallowed hard.

Luffy flashed a quick grin. "Yeah! The old man kept saying how much you reminded him of her, I guess you looked the same or something..."

That odd craving feeling from earlier started creeping through Luffy again. During his time training, Rayleigh told Luffy stories of the Pirate King, and on occasion, brought up Roger's first and only lover. Shortly after recruiting Rayleigh, Roger stumbled upon the gorgeous maiden with the strawberry hair from South Blue. Rayleigh reminisced often about the two of them being young and in love. At first, all of this was lost on Luffy, he just saw it as a neat thing about the Pirate King. The more he heard about them, the more it started to sink in. It took him until this moment, here in the kitchen, to understand what that empty, craving might actually be.

He turned his head back to the food, but it didn't look as appetizing as it did before, so his eyes slowly wandered back to Nami. "The old man said they were really in love, even when they were kids. I don't really get it, though. What's that feel like?"

"What does what feel like?" he could hear the shakiness in her voice.

"Being in love, I don't think I ever felt that before."

Nami's heart raced, she moved a bit further away from Luffy. "Being in love?! I don't know, it's... Hard to explain, I guess. I don't think I've ever been in actual love, but it feels like you need something. Like you aren't complete without that person around. Wh-Why are you even asking this?! I know you want to be the Pirate King, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything he's done! Don't just imitate him!"

"I'm not imitating him, I want to be my own Pirate King! I'm just asking because I think I might be in love!"

She absolutely hated the way Luffy could just say things without holding back. He had no internal filter, no way of censoring himself. She stayed silent, inching back a bit, but not breaking her eye contact with her captain.

"You said it was like missing something, and that's what I feel sometimes. But it's not that I'm hungry, it's something else is empty. So it's gotta be I'm in love, right?"

Nami scrambled out of her seat, putting the table between her and her captain. "Luffy... I think you need to go get some sleep, this is a little much right now." She took a deep breath, still looking in his eyes. They seemed so much more sure, not the hazy, sleepy look he was wearing earlier. The serious expression on his face and all this talk of love was stirring up silly feelings in her...

"I-I'm going to go to bed," she broke her gaze and turned her back to him.

She got as far as putting a hand on the ladder leading up when she heard him call out "Nami". She turned around and gasped at him suddenly being in front of her. Deep red eyes meeting her own auburn eyes. She didn't feel trapped, nor intimidated. Luffy wasn't holding her in place, and she knew that, at any time, she could step aside and leave. She didn't budge when Luffy leaned in, and she didn't pull away when his lips met hers.

Luffy was absolutely not the best kisser she'd ever had, but she returned his affection, letting her hands rise to his chest and curing her fingers around his open shirt. He held her with a hand at either side of her waist and she was the one to lean in more, to press her body against his before they finally released.

He was a little disappointed, this hadn't made things any better. In all the stories he'd heard, when the hero and the heroine kiss, everything's better and everything makes sense. But after pulling away from Nami, he felt even more twisted inside. There was a lump in his throat that he couldn't shake, and for some reason, he couldn't look her in the eye anymore. He let his hands fall from her waist and stepped back, not bothering to say anything. He took an unsteady step for the door, leaving Nami standing in front of the ladder. He ignored her when she called out his name and left the kitchen.

She stood there in the silence, not sure what to think. It was unexpected, but enjoyable. But his face afterward told her that he didn't really feel anything beyond the bonds of friendship for her. She cursed herself for thinking like a fairy tale princess, even forcing an awkward laugh past her lips before sinking to the ground and leaning the back of her head against a rung on the ladder. Her eyes stung with tears, but she held them back. She couldn't allow herself to cry over something as stupid as this. She still had a lot of work to do on those maps, this interruption was just delaying her progress.

The eye and ear sprouting from the kitchen ceiling dissipated in a small cloud of pink petals, and the woman they belonged to frowned underneath the covers of her bed.