Disclaimer: I do not own any character but Sunny herself. And I wish to say that Lupin is the best character in the Harry Potter series.
Note: I do not like or know how to write romance stories. This is rated G. (Sorry Moonyfan)
And also, the girl character is not I, but one of my good friends Moonyfan.
Part I - Years ago
It was my first day of class, when I met my Defense Against Dark Arts teacher. I had heard many things about him. He had taught many outstanding students before me, including the famous Harry Potter three years before. He was still in school, Harry, I mean, but on a higher level than myself, to be sure.
Anyways.
I was the daughter of Peter Pettigrew, and my name was Aurora. I was 14 years old when I entered Hogwarts, and under the consent of Professor Dumbledore, I skipped unto my third year.
On my first day of school, it was raining. There was an immediate rumor that it was because of my presence, my presence as the daughter of a traitor by the name of Wormtail, or Peter. All the processions, such as introduction by the headmaster Albus Dumbledore, and the sorting process, in which I was miraculously sorted into Gryffindor, passed by me like an endless boredom. I could not wait to go into my room, lie on the bed, and rest from the buzzing world around me. The Slytherins were almost expecting to call me one of their own when the hat, after an exceptionally long pause, called out the bravery house where the great Potter was. My father had betrayed his, and I could not even try to look at him, although his scar easily demonstrated who he was. I myself felt uncomfortable. In my heart, I longed to belong to the house of Gryffindor, yet the mere fact that Harry was there prevented me from being completely satisfied.
"I can never make a friend in this school", I thought, and was saddened.
Anyways.
On my first day of class, it was raining even harder than the first day. My classmates talked around me in whispers. Perhaps I was too sensitive, but the entire time I felt that they must have been talking about me, telling how my father betrayed his friend to turn to Voldemort.
I was never raised by my father. Apparently, Professor Dumbledore arranged everything for me and allowed me to grow up with Ginny Weasley's family until I was old enough to be enrolled into Hogwarts. Ginny liked me and we were friends, although her brother Ron never even looked at me for more than five seconds. He was Harry's best friend.
I had no friend in my class. My whole morning was filled with tedious classes. I did not feel at ease until the very last period, which was Defense Against Dark Arts.
In the beginning, this class was offered for the third years. But ever since the dark lord reappeared two years prior to my coming, the school had added Defense Against Dark Arts course onto the first years all the way till the fifth years. Harry is a sixth year, so he does not have that professor's class. I have heard much about the professor and the class, as I told you in the beginning. The fact that he was a werewolf was known to everyone. Professor Dumbledore personally fought for his position, and even threatened to quit his job if the request was not fulfilled. He was one of the best friends of Harry's father, and was a friend of my own father. I have heard Ginny say that he is the best teacher on campus, yet shook my head when I learned that he was Potter's friend.
The teacher was called Professor Lupin. Remus Lupin.
He was not young. And he was not old. He did not look young. And he did not look old. It is hard to describe him. When you look at the lines that his suffering years carved on his face, he seemed like a wise man, experienced much and lived long. When you look at his patched robe and weary expression, he seemed like a fatigued man, exhausted by life's trails. Yet when you detect a sparkle in his eyes, or a faint smile on his face, he was angelical and youthful enough to brighten up any sorrowful heart. He was between the too young and the too old. Therefore, he was neither. What a perfect age.
Thinking back, I cannot recall his first lesson because I was so intensely watching his movements instead of listening to his words. He had a soft voice that was powerful when you are drawn deep into it. The class was charming and amusing. I could not help but smile when I stepped out of the door. On that evening, I secretly made a resolution: to do well in my classes and be the second Hermione Granger. Why did I do that? I didn't know.
From then on, I devoted all my time to reading and learning and thinking about Professor Lupin's lesson. In the common room, I was a silent reader. In the hallway, I was a pensive loner. In Professor Lupin's class, I was an eager student with a beaming face. Soon, people began murmuring my name behind my back, chatting and gossiping about how nerdy and conceited I was. I could only shrug at such remarks. As long as I have Professor Lupin and my studies on my mind, I couldn't care less about what they remark. In fact, I was even happy at this phenomenon. People were noticing me, and certainly The Professor heard about them, too.
The Teacher disappeared once a month, whenever there was a full moon. Although his hiding place was unknown, everyone knew why he disappeared, and everyone knew about the potion that Professor Snape provided for him. Those days were the hardest for me to endure.
Professor Lupin did not treat me as if I were my father's daughter. He treated me fairly as any other student. I was both grateful and disappointed at this fact. I wished that I were more special than just a student. However, if I ever hoped that I was The Student as he was to me The Professor, the thought must have been very vague.
Anyways.
My diligence gave off. I alone succeeded in getting all Excellent remarks on the exam, which took place right before Christmas.
Christmas holidays came. People with homes went home. Ginny asked me if I wanted to live with her again. I replied no. It was not because her family treated me ill, or because of Ron, but because I knew Professor Lupin was staying at the school. He was not a loner like me, but in school, under Professor Snape's formula, he could be safer as a werewolf. And besides, with his best friend Sirius Black gone with Harry during such times, he was left alone also.
I stayed in my room during the beginning of the vacation. Wanting to see The Professor yet unable to bring myself to it. Sometimes I rambled in the empty hall, waiting for a glance of him. Yet, to my misfortune, I missed all those occasions.
One day, I intentionally wondered in front of his office door, thinking to myself nervously about what would I say when he suddenly opens the door. "Should I appear frightened? Surprised? Sad? Or hyper? Which one would arouse his attention the most? Which one would leave an exceptionally good impression on him? Which one made me seem beautiful and innocent?" I thought to myself. I did not look bad for a traitor's daughter. I was slender, tall, had dark hair and bright eyes. In addition, I took extra care of my appearance ever since I fell in love with my professor.
It seemed to be a century before the professor opened the door. All my ridiculous thoughts vanished at once and I gasped, dazzled.
He looked perfectly like his usual self, serene, yet tired. For once in my life, I wanted to say something and didn't know what.
"I knew you were outside. I didn't call you because it might have scared you away." He said softly.
I was not curious how he knew I was outside. I have heard that he had a Marauder's Map, which he made with his best friends, including my father and the one my father betrayed. I did not know whether I should be pleased or embarrassed, and still could not find words to reply.
He heaved a sigh. "Come in, Miss Excellent, perhaps you have questions for me on your exam. You have earned a perfect, you know." He looked at me as he uttered the last words.
I was rapturous at his address and did not think them sarcastic. I nodded uneasily, "Yes, uh, yes, I know, professor." He still did not compliment me on my flawless grades and bit my lip a little.
"Well, don't you wish to come in?"
I couldn't answer because I was certain that the answer would have come out incorrectly. "Oh what the heck!" I thought, and went in the door.
"So, what is your question?" my professor inquired.
"I was wondering," I did not wonder at anything academically related. As far as my grades went, I was a marvelous student, the Miss Excellent. But just to talk to him, I had to make up one. My brain searched all over the place, and I finally came up with, "what chapter are we studying next?"
"Wants to get a little ahead?" he said. It might have been funny for any other occasion but this. I could just smell the tension in the air.
"Not really. It's just that I don't have much to do; now it is the holidays. If I could read a few details ahead, it might help me greatly during the next quarter." A lie came spontaneously upon my head.
"Well, the next chapter we are going to study is werewolf."
I had expected anything but that. "Werewolf?" I repeated. Had he lost his heads? He is teaching the students to defense themselves against the teacher!
Then I asked a foolish question. "Why werewolves?"
"I was thinking that we should skip small chapters and head straight toward dark arts itself, such as basic defenses against curses, or death-eaters." He scrutinized my face at "death-eaters" as if knowing that I was thinking of my father. "Werewolf is a huge topic, and I happen to know quite much about it. It will be the last creature chapter we will study in class. Any other questions?"
"Actually, professor," I said hurriedly, ignoring his last sentence, "We don't have to learn about werewolves." I did not mean to hurt him with these words, and apparently, he did not interpret them wrongly, either.
"Oh?" he raised his face, looking straight into my eyes.
"Yes. I mean, no, we don't have to study that chapter. We can jump straight into death eaters." I pronounced the final word with an effort, trying to ignore the thoughts about father.
"You think so?" he asked pensively and a little doubtfully. "And why?"
All right, it was his turn to wonder. "I think the students know enough about… werewolves."
"And why is that?" he asked insistently.
"Goodness!" I thought to myself. "Have I gotten myself in trouble with The Professor?"
"Because," I finally summoned all my boldness, "We know you, Professor Lupin." I replied, saying his name with an inside blush. But I regretted this confession all the same. Right after I said it, I thought, "What right have I to speak for everybody? And what he must think of himself! I might have hurt him just now."
Maybe he did not anticipate such frankness, although he was calm as always.
"Oh?" That was the second time he said that. "And is it a good or bad thing?" he smiled faintly as if jesting.
"Good, of course." Eager to mend my mistakes, I quickly answered without hesitating.
He nodded and made no reply.
Just when I thought of leaving, he spoke again after a small cough. "You know, Aurora, you should mingle more with your classmates."
He was actually concerned about my social life! That meant that, he did not only notice my lonely state, but also was kind enough to tell me this! I was brimming with happiness.
"It is rather hard, professor. I do try."
"If you truly tried, depending on your test results, you should be acing on friends as well." This compliment filled me with more delight, although it reminded me of uneven times with my fellow peers.
"Well, professor, social skills are quite different. (I am sure he knew that, but was just comforting me). They do not only look at you then, but also at your personality and … background." I was being brutally honest at this time, both with him and with myself.
"I have heard that you brought the rain on the day you came to Hogwarts." He said.
It was one of my most hated rumors. "Yes" was all I could say.
"Actually, you are called Aurora, are you not?" he said, perhaps deliberately leaving off my last name.
"Yes. The light of the north, and the Roman goddess of the dawn."
"It has nothing to do with rain. It should bring sunny days." He smiled.
"Yes, sunny days. Perhaps I can change my name to Sunny." said I reflectively.
He shook his head lightly, as if remembering my last name. "It can only be your nickname, I think. You are not old enough to change it yourself."
"Nickname. My known name would be Sunny." I said gladly, and secretly added, "He gave me this name."
I left that room in profound bliss, and did not go to him again before the vacation was over. It was mostly because I could not think up another good excuse for the intrusion.
My name changed from then. Not on the outside, though, because I didn't wish everybody to call me that way. You see, only he was special. Only he knew.
The days seemed endless and I grew more and more cheerful everyday, although his classes always seemed too short. I used my new nickname whenever possible, wrote it on my homework, tests, and signed it under my drawings. I dreaded the last days of school and was happy again whenever I thought that he would teach me for 6 more years.
Unfortunately, a storm broke out, and I was the lightning.
I found out where he hid every month. It was just inside the huge tree in front of school. There were rooms inside. I found out by listening to Ron, Harry, and Mr. Black talking about an incident three years ago, when they first uncovered that my father was the traitor.
I could not resist the temptation of going. I have gained plenty of knowledge about werewolf transformations, have felt quite secured by the fact that he drank potions on such times, and was both inquisitive and fervent on knowing everything about him.
It turned out to be a gigantic mistake.
Not much happened, in reality. I had a fright with him, as a wolf, running right after me with sharp teeth and bloody eyes, almost howling with pain. He had just transformed then. That was all. Yet, because of the possibilities that lied underneath, he had to leave, for the second time.
I was blamed by everyone, from Harry to my classmates, from professors to perhaps, the headmaster himself. I blamed myself the most, however, because if there was one person who did not wish him to leave, it was I.
I heard that he was willing to leave. Professor Dumbledore offered to aid him into his staying, but he refused. For what I did not know. I had a sense that he was dodging me, yet I was not certain.
One day passed by. Two days passed by. I stayed at my room, silent as death. And the third day: it was his day of departure. It was a common knowledge that he had not much to pack.
I did not want to lose this last opportunity to say bye to him. Yet how could I? How could I face him? And if I did, I would surely cry. "Crying is weak, and it would betray my feelings for him. A traitor's daughter loving a werewolf who used to be the traitor's friend? No, it was too unimaginable, too abnormal." I repeated these words to myself.
But I decided to go, after all. I at least needed to apologize to him. I trembled and gasped every step of the way there and stopped at the door, paralyzed with doubt. "Should I go in? Or should I not? Maybe I should have written a note. Maybe he wouldn't want to see me anyways." My heart was struck by this supposition. "Harry and his friends would certainly be waiting for him at the door. Would they notice the delay in his coming and suspect me? What they must be thinking! After all that has happened." I stood there, hesitating. A moment later, an impulse came to my nerves and, spontaneously, I pushed open the door with a vehement force.
There he was, standing there with his back turned toward me and facing the desk on top of which he had placed his suitcase, which was small and shabby, the same one he came with. He heard the door and turned around. Seeing me, his eyes shone a sudden light of surprise. I found no reproach or displeasure however.
I was a little startled by my own action. I opened my mouth to speak and found my tongue moving as words flowed smoothly out. "I have come to apologize and to say good-bye. It was my mistake to follow you to the shack and I find it very unjust that you should resign because of my folly. You are a fantastic professor and I wish you'd stay. But you see, I know it is quite impossible now because you have already made up your mind. If there were any way to keep you here, Harry and Ron and … others would have already persuaded you. And my plea is in vain too because you cannot possibly accept this from the daughter of a traitor who killed one of your best friends and whom you wish to kill. You will go because you are obstinate and heartless and … considerate." Incoherent sentences followed one after another. The last adjectives were pronounced with tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to smile all along, but with every fall of my chest as my breathing became faster, my smile grew more and more difficult to control. As I said my speech, he turned around again, not looking at me in any way. When I said "daughter of a traitor who killed one of your best friends and whom you wish to kill", I heard him heaving a light sigh.
"That would be all." I added one more clumsily and seeing no response, turned around, gathered every power in my limbs and tried to walk out.
"Wait." He called abruptly. I turned around again, as a trained soldier his commander.
He walked towards me. "It was not your fault." He said quietly and calmly. "You needn't apologize. I resigned on my own accord. Even if you had not followed me on that evening, I would have resigned anyways. This should not burden you."
"Then why do you have to leave?" I asked.
"Because," he said reflectively, "There are certain things that weigh heavily upon my heart."
"Such as teaching the daughter of a traitor?" I burst out, not knowing why myself.
He raised his eyes. "No, such as teaching ... I should leave now. They are waiting." He picked up his suitcase.
"No!" I barred the doorway. He looked at me with inquiry in his eyes.
"I mean, you cannot leave here unless you finish the sentence you began."
"You cannot bar my door way forever, Sunny. I will leave. After all, I know some useful spells that would help me in this situation. I would not hurt you, but I will leave."
"All right." I nodded stubbornly. "You can leave, but you may not leave."
"Why?"
"In the name of Sunny and not in the name of Aurora Pettigrew, you, Professor Remus Lupin, may not leave." I have determined to spill everything all of a sudden.
He smiled bitterly. "I am not a professor any more, Sunny. Let me go. I have things to do that you do not know of."
"What thing? Killing my father?" a sudden dread entered my mind at this second and I asked in incredulity, "Finding Voldemort?"
He stared into my eyes at the last question. I could see wonder and amazement, although his face was perfectly normal, although a little pale.
"Is that why you have to leave?" I asked.
"This and… nothing else. I insist on doing this." He replied slowly. "Now I must go."
I watched him gently pushing me aside and walking out of the room into the hallway. A decision came in mind as I crept slowly after him. He stopped at the gate to say farewell to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. It gave just the time for using the newest tracing spell he taught us.
Fate had decided that I should not return to Hogwarts that night. I traced him all the way to his home in the woods, where he stayed shortly before he went to look for the dark lord with whom my father was surely staying.
Anyways. I could not hide myself from him always, especially when I followed him on his journey. I was discovered on the very first day.
"What have you come here for?" he asked with a severe tone in his voice.
"I… I…" I could not make up an excuse. "I wanted to go and see my father. He is sure to be with Voldemort, and I have come to see him."
"Don't you know how perilous it is?" he was frowning. "going on to a journey with a werewolf who is looking for the dark lord. I should have predicted that you would not give up so easily."
"I have the right to see my father, however uncomfortable everything may be. Are you taking me with you, or not?"
"I am sending you back. This matter is of a grave importance and serious danger. I will let Professor Dumbledore take care of you, back at Hogwarts. Listen to me and go back."
"No, I won't! I have come thus far to see my father (this excuse was getting handy), and I won't turn back now. Just you try to force me. I know some spells, too, professor."
"This is for your own good. I don't think anyone would find the consequences agreeable. Here is a little spell that I haven't taught you." He raised his wand.
"Expelliarmus!" I raised my wand, which was hidden right behind my back. Immediately, his wand flew into my left hand. I could not believe my good luck when I caught it.
He looked at me with more intensity in his eyes. Slowly and calmly, he raised his hand. "Give back the wand, Sunny. You are not fit here." He said softly.
I spontaneously nodded. And realizing his request, I shook my head.
"Give me the wand."
My mind was made up now and I shook my head again. Putting the wands behind my back, I stood my ground.
"If you don't give me the wand, I will have to force you to. I do not like to force you, but if I must, I will."
"You cannot get the wand from me, Professor Lupin. Either I come with you to find Voldemort, or we stay here like this." I raised my head and my eyes to his.
"You are being fool-hardy. This will do neither of us any good."
I began to see my triumph now. Professor Lupin wouldn't harm anyone, and certainly not me. "No, I am coming with you. I am not turning back. You cannot face Voldemort without your wand, and it is in my hands. Therefore, you must take me with you. You cannot get the wand from me, either, because I can bind you with the wands. Now are you taking me with you?"
He looked at the ground for a short pause. And, raising his head without looking at me, he patted his robe, arousing a small cloud of dust, and started walking away. I was dumbfounded.
"Stop!" I yelled after he had walked a few steps.
He stopped, but did not turn around.
"Stop, where are you going?"
"Sunny, I need to find Voldemort. It is my task."
"But you don't have your wand! You will never live to tell if you find him."
He turned his head at last. From his side profile, I could see a small smile hanging on his lips. "My task is to find Voldemort, not to go back alive. I probably would not survive even with my wand, which is useful to you right now. Go back, Sunny. And if you do not wish me to die without a chance, give me back my wand. Give me my wand and walk away from here."
Now I saw that I could never topple him. He would always win. He would always win because I cared more than he did. I cared about his life even more than he himself. What could anyone do to one who had conquered all fear? I could not do this. But I was not willing to give up like this. I struggled in my mind for a way to win over him, to have my way, to go with him anywhere, because I was willing.
"But I am willing to go with you! Why would you rather die than to take me along?"
"For the very same reason I resigned, Sunny." He heaved a sigh as I gasped. As I made no reply, he began walking away again.
I stood there, amazed, trying to see the meaning behind his words and the emotions behind his mask.
"Stop! I am coming with you!" I ran after him.
"Is there a way to make you go back?" he asked.
"No." I lied. There was only one way to let me go back out of my own will, and that was to let him come back as well. But I knew that he would never do that, so as a result, I could not turn back.
"Come then if you still wish to." He said.
I could scarcely believe my ears. After all those struggles, he submitted to my will just like this. I was blessedly happy.
"You promise not to turn me away?" I asked.
"No. You know I wouldn't break my words, Sunny."
"Yes, I do." I thought to myself, content, and smiling, gave back his wand.
Anyways.
Days went by quickly as we cut through the woods from day to day. I had not feared for even one moment. Somehow, the woods held a special place in me as if I could talk to the trees and hush up the wind. He followed his word and did not try to chase me away or send me away with either his words or his wand. At night, he was always able to find a cave for me to sleep in and he would always sleep outside, or nowhere at all. Due to his werewolf nature, he was able to find food simply and quickly. Always, he would silently prepare everything in an instant. I did not know how he did these marvels, but I did not question him about it.
Those times in the woods were my best experiences in my entire life up to that point. It had to end, however, and I did not like the ending.
We did find Voldemort. Along with him, there was my father, Peter Pettigrew and other death eaters.
On that morning, he went off alone, intentionally leaving me behind. Fortunately, I had perceived that the place was near, and I woke up much earlier than usual. I looked outside and found no one. There was no trace on the ground either. How did I walk to the right place where they were I did not know. There seemed to be a mystic force guiding me along. When I arrived, he was hiding behind a bush, watching the dark lord and his followers gathering around. I quietly walked up behind him. He sensed me and gestured for me to be silent; I nodded in obedience.
Just then, the dark lord turned around toward us. He must have heard me coming. His red, penetrating eyes were keen as knives, staring right through our disguise. He narrowed his eyes and ceased his speech, of which I have heard none.
"Who is it?" His voice sounded like a whip. He raised his wand directly toward us. A huge, devilish snake beside him hissed at the same time.
I, for the first time in months, felt coldness and terror. Professor Lupin stepped out with his wand in his right hand.
"It is I, Voldemort." He said evenly, without a shiver in his limbs or voice. His left hand was behind his back, motioning me not to make a single sound. I understood his purpose at once. If Voldemort searched for us, neither of us could get away. But if he stepped up, Voldemort may not guess that there was another one hiding.
Voldemort narrowed his eyes even further. I nearly trembled all over. My teeth were clenched as well as my fists, but I did not notice at the time.
"You? The werewolf, Remus Lupin?" He pronounced the name with exactness and great care.
My heart skipped a beat at the mentioning of that name.
My professor nodded slightly.
"You are being very bold. You have entered the lord's presence as an enemy without fear. Such loyalty and courage are very rare to find nowadays. You must be very valuable to Dumbledore." Voldemort said, lowering his wand.
The dark lord had surprised me. I looked at his followers, who were also stunned by Voldemort's tone of respect when speaking to my professor. I felt pride rising inside of me.
Professor Lupin again nodded.
"So why have you come, to find me? To report back my whereabouts?"
Professor once more nodded slightly.
"Aren't you amazed by me? I have seen through your motives from the start. I have known you from the beginning. Why don't you speak! Talk to me!" Voldemort's voice grew louder. The basilisk hissed also with increased volume.
"I expected no less from you." Said professor peacefully, contrasting with the dark lord's increasingly exasperated state.
"Fine answer! I like you, young man. You may be very useful to me."
My professor shook his head.
"No?" asked Voldemort, raising one of his eyebrows quizzically. "Perhaps you would like for me to give you a present, a payment." He turned to a small gray man with a silvery arm. "Perhaps you would like to kill this man as your gift from the great lord Voldemort?"
"He is more of a servant to you than I would ever be. As much I despise him, I won't kill him and be in your service."
"No? Again? You refuse to kill the very traitor you wished to destroy three years ago?"
At these words I stepped out. That short, weak, gray man was my father, Peter Pettigrew! The very man Voldemort offered for Professor Lupin to kill was my father, who gave up his friendship, his finger, and his soul to this evil lord! Rage filled my heart more than shame. I walked up, with my lips trembling and my eyes flaming.
"How dare you? How dare you offer your own servant to your enemy? How dare you to offer MY father's life for another person who would never bow to you? How dare you, Lord Voldemort? How dare you?" Words broke from me like lightning. There was no longer fright or dread. My body was in state of trepidation, but instead of from fright, it was from anger.
Lord Voldemort turned immediately to me. He narrowed his eyes in an apparent curiosity.
"So you did not come alone? You took a student with you, a girl." He grinned darkly. Professor Lupin sighed and I could detect a frown from him.
"I wanted to come." I said, raising my voice and my head at the same time. "I insisted on coming. I wanted to see you, and … your servant. But I never expected such nastiness and cruelty." I glanced at what was called my father, who had cornered himself away in deep shadow.
"Who are you, my girl? What is your name?" He asked with rigorous intrigue.
"Aurora Pettigrew." I wanted to say Sunny, but then I realized that my legal name was Aurora.
"No, your name is not Aurora." Voldemort started walking toward me. I stood my ground, trying not to be afraid. "You are not Aurora Pettigrew. Look at that creature on the ground, that weak little servant of mine. How can he be your father? Look at yourself, you are beautiful and brave and strong. You are nothing like him because he has no part in you."
My eyes opened wide. "Was I dreaming?" I thought. "How could this be? My father is not Peter Pettigrew? Who am I then? Who am I?"
Voldemort answered this question as if he saw through me. "You are my daughter. You are a part of the Slytherin. You are the daughter of the most powerful and intelligent lord that ever lived and will ever live. You are Isis. Erase Aurora Pettigrew from your mind. You are MY daughter. Are you not proud? You should be, because you are my descendent. I guess your mother WAS of some use to me. She gave me a beautiful daughter. But she was a Gryffindor. Are you in Gryffindor? Yes, I see. Well, soon enough you will discover that you have the same amount of cunning as your courage."
"Shut up!" I yelled. "I am no daughter of yours. I am no daughter of anyone! You are not my father. I would not acknowledge you. Professor Lupin, I think we have heard enough absurdities here and let us go back." I extended my arm to Professor Lupin without looking at him. My eyes were drawn too much to Voldemort's.
Professor Lupin did not grab my hand. "You are Voldemort's daughter. Go away with your father. Don't ever return any more."
My head turned in immediate amazement. I found him staring at Voldemort. "But professor…"
"No more words, Isis. You heard your professor. He is incredibly right. Come to me. It is time for us to be united. I wanted you to finish all seven years at Hogwarts at first so that you could know more materials. But now I see no need. You have spirit in you. You have my spirit in you. You are rebellious, fiery, clever, and authoritative. You are my image."
"NO!" I yelled, looking helplessly at my professor, whose countenance expressed no surprise, but only tranquility.
"Be away, Isis." He said. My heart felt a stung as he uttered my third name.
"Come, my daughter." Voldemort extended his bony hands. He was my father.
"But I loathe you! How can I go with you! I came to find you, not to go with you!"
"Loathe me?" the dark lord's eyes were narrowing threateningly. "Don't worry, you will come to obey me in time. I don't have much patience, however I may like your temper. Come or die with this werewolf!"
Die?? I now understood why professor told me to go. He could never yield to Voldemort, and that would drag me to death with him. So seeing that Voldemort was my father, he wanted me to go away with my father who would not hurt me if I only submitted.
"You wouldn't kill him!" I cried out loud my sole fear.
"Of course I would, and I will."
"What makes you think that I would certainly lose, Voldemort?" asked my professor quietly. "After all, I am not a muggle."
"In addition to my power, I have all these servants. What makes you think you would win?" Voldemort turned his focus on my professor again.
"The odds are great. But I still have a chance."
"You are wrong for the first time, young man. You do not ever have a chance in front of Lord Voldemort."
"This may be the first time when you are wrong, not to mention your mistake when trying to kill Harry and take over the world."
Voldemort hissed in anger. "You try me, Lupin. I shall truly enjoy seeing you die."
My professor made paused. He looked down at his own wand in a cynical way. I had not yet, up till that point, seen so careless an expression on his face.
"You fool. You think you shall rule forever. What a waste of wand." He said.
This seemed to be the ultimate limit for Voldemort's tolerance. Without speaking a word or moving his lips, curling chords came out of the end of his wand and bound my professor from shoulders to legs. I have heard of the account of how Professor Snape once bound him in a similar fashion three years ago, but now, seeing the situation plainly in front of me, I was frightened for him.
Professor Lupin could not stand and fell to the ground. I instinctively ran to him, but one of the death eaters blocked my way. Voldemort gazed down at my professor and again, without moving his lips, he succeeded in tightening the chords, which now had cut into Professor Lupin's flesh.
"Groan, Lupin. No one can endure my chords. Don't you like them? They stab into flesh nicely and easily. This is my invention. Dumbledore, nor anyone else, knows how to defense themselves against my chords. You are the Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, but you wouldn't know this one, would you? Groan. I want to hear the sound of suffering from any of Dumbledore's trusty men. If you would only follow me instead, I can spare you from a miserable death."
My professor, as I predicted in my heart, remained silent and placid. Drops of sweat was gathering on his forehead as the rope tightened even further. I felt as if I could hear the bones being squeezed and rubbed against each other.
The death eater who was blocking me was turned half way to watch the torture as well. Wince came upon his face as he saw the chords being colored by blood. I grabbed my chance and took his wand in my hands, ran up to my professor, and tried to release the chords for him. But I soon realized that the more I struggled with it, the tighter it grew. I glanced helplessly around and saw many frowning yet hostile faces. I looked at Peter Pettigrew, who was no longer my father, and saw that he was watching with satisfaction and relief. Fury rose as I turned my flaming eyes to who now was my father, Voldemort, and saw that he was watching with a grin as well.
"Release the chords!" I yelled to the dark lord.
"No, my dear." Voldemort waved his finger at me, gesturing as he would to a child who was having a tantrum, "Not him. He is valuable to Dumbledore and therefore is dangerous to me. Stop trying for him. You are making him suffer more than he is by me."
"But you can release him from this."
"Isis, listen. He is an insurgent to me. It's either his death or mine. And the dark lord would never die, therefore the enemies must. Now come to me before I kill you as well!"
I stared at him in bewilderment and rage. This very same person, who said a minute ago that he was proud of me stated just a moment later that he would kill me.
I looked back to my professor and found him beginning to talk to me through clenched teeth. He was trying to talk as loudly as he could so that Voldemort could hear him.
"Get away from me, you daughter of devil! I will kill you myself once I have a chance. You trapped me. You were a conspirator. Get out of my sight!"
At first, my mind was exploding. "What? I trapped him?" Then later, my thought became clearer, "He is trying to protect me, even at such an hour!" My emotions suddenly grew ten times as great as before.
"Now, father, do you want a living daughter or a dead one?" I turned to Voldemort, suddenly speaking coolly in a negotiating manner.
"A living and an obedient daughter." Voldemort was grinning more darkly than ever. His eyes narrowed in vigilance.
"Do you value a living, obedient daughter more than a lowly werewolf?" I tried my second question, knowing fully well that he would guess my intention.
Voldemort did not disappoint me. "I expected as much from you, Isis. Yes, I do value you more than Lupin, although he is not a bad lad, in fact, better than most of my people here." He looked at the servant who tried to bar my way. The servant nearly knelt down just from that one short glance. I marveled at the show of authority.
"So you want me to let him live in exchange for your complete devotion?"
I nodded at this statement.
Immediately, I saw the chords disappearing from Professor Lupin and went back to the end of Voldemort's wand. But instead, a ray of shadow began reaching for my professor. I watched in confusion about what went on and realized suddenly that the ray was absorbing life out of my professor.
"He is strong. He has much more power than I suspected. I envy Dumbledore for having such a man. If only he would yield…"
"What are you doing to him?" I saw Professor Lupin's face growing paler and paler. His eyes were now closed as if he was unconscious.
"He will be alive, Isis, although only his heart will continue to function."
My head thundered at that last part. A cold realization stabbed me like a knife. Spontaneously, I put myself between the light and the wand. The light immediately ceased.
"You are rebelling against me, Isis."
"And you are to follow the deal, father." I said insolently.
He narrowed his eyes again with even more intensity. "And what part of the deal have I not followed?"
"Well," I gathered up every ounce of courage in me, "You promised to let him go alive."
"He will still be alive by the time I finish with him."
"No he will not be. He would be a vegetable, not a man."
"But he would still be living."
"I do not call that living, father."
"You love him." He said.
"What?"
"You love him! You love a werewolf! You love the damned enemy of Lord Voldemort!"
"Yes! But right now just send him back!" I yelled, almost in tears.
"You are asking too much." Voldemort raised the wand with his right hand and caressed it menacingly with his left.
"Well, too bad." I said, no longer in a serious mood.
He waited for a moment. "All right. Isis, come with me, and you," he pointed his wand at Professor Lupin, "Go away." My professor's body immediately vanished in thin air.
"Where have you sent him?" I asked with my eyes wide open.
"To Dumbledore." He said with irritation in his voice.
"Can I trust you on this?"
"Do not ever doubt me, Isis. I am powerful enough to rule without any more deceit. Your father is not quite so dishonorable, although he is cruel and heartless and ruthless and other villainous terms you are thinking up in your little mind."
The day ended for me.
So, I, as Aurora Pettigrew, Isis Voldemort, and Sunny - my only true name - have been ever since with the great dark lord himself. Fearing my resentment would mutiny against him, my father the evil lord had shut me up into a world of mine own. I only have my shadow and my memories to keep me company. Not for a day have I not wondered what has become of my Professor Lupin. Out of my veneration for him, I have never addressed him as Remus. Yet that familiarity had already created a bond between us. For many times I have thought that he had feelings for me as well, and these feelings served as reasons for his resignation. But I am not certain.
For the entire past week, I have been writing down all my recollections from that time about 3 years ago. Now that I am done, I am going to sleep.
Note: I do not like or know how to write romance stories. This is rated G. (Sorry Moonyfan)
And also, the girl character is not I, but one of my good friends Moonyfan.
Part I - Years ago
It was my first day of class, when I met my Defense Against Dark Arts teacher. I had heard many things about him. He had taught many outstanding students before me, including the famous Harry Potter three years before. He was still in school, Harry, I mean, but on a higher level than myself, to be sure.
Anyways.
I was the daughter of Peter Pettigrew, and my name was Aurora. I was 14 years old when I entered Hogwarts, and under the consent of Professor Dumbledore, I skipped unto my third year.
On my first day of school, it was raining. There was an immediate rumor that it was because of my presence, my presence as the daughter of a traitor by the name of Wormtail, or Peter. All the processions, such as introduction by the headmaster Albus Dumbledore, and the sorting process, in which I was miraculously sorted into Gryffindor, passed by me like an endless boredom. I could not wait to go into my room, lie on the bed, and rest from the buzzing world around me. The Slytherins were almost expecting to call me one of their own when the hat, after an exceptionally long pause, called out the bravery house where the great Potter was. My father had betrayed his, and I could not even try to look at him, although his scar easily demonstrated who he was. I myself felt uncomfortable. In my heart, I longed to belong to the house of Gryffindor, yet the mere fact that Harry was there prevented me from being completely satisfied.
"I can never make a friend in this school", I thought, and was saddened.
Anyways.
On my first day of class, it was raining even harder than the first day. My classmates talked around me in whispers. Perhaps I was too sensitive, but the entire time I felt that they must have been talking about me, telling how my father betrayed his friend to turn to Voldemort.
I was never raised by my father. Apparently, Professor Dumbledore arranged everything for me and allowed me to grow up with Ginny Weasley's family until I was old enough to be enrolled into Hogwarts. Ginny liked me and we were friends, although her brother Ron never even looked at me for more than five seconds. He was Harry's best friend.
I had no friend in my class. My whole morning was filled with tedious classes. I did not feel at ease until the very last period, which was Defense Against Dark Arts.
In the beginning, this class was offered for the third years. But ever since the dark lord reappeared two years prior to my coming, the school had added Defense Against Dark Arts course onto the first years all the way till the fifth years. Harry is a sixth year, so he does not have that professor's class. I have heard much about the professor and the class, as I told you in the beginning. The fact that he was a werewolf was known to everyone. Professor Dumbledore personally fought for his position, and even threatened to quit his job if the request was not fulfilled. He was one of the best friends of Harry's father, and was a friend of my own father. I have heard Ginny say that he is the best teacher on campus, yet shook my head when I learned that he was Potter's friend.
The teacher was called Professor Lupin. Remus Lupin.
He was not young. And he was not old. He did not look young. And he did not look old. It is hard to describe him. When you look at the lines that his suffering years carved on his face, he seemed like a wise man, experienced much and lived long. When you look at his patched robe and weary expression, he seemed like a fatigued man, exhausted by life's trails. Yet when you detect a sparkle in his eyes, or a faint smile on his face, he was angelical and youthful enough to brighten up any sorrowful heart. He was between the too young and the too old. Therefore, he was neither. What a perfect age.
Thinking back, I cannot recall his first lesson because I was so intensely watching his movements instead of listening to his words. He had a soft voice that was powerful when you are drawn deep into it. The class was charming and amusing. I could not help but smile when I stepped out of the door. On that evening, I secretly made a resolution: to do well in my classes and be the second Hermione Granger. Why did I do that? I didn't know.
From then on, I devoted all my time to reading and learning and thinking about Professor Lupin's lesson. In the common room, I was a silent reader. In the hallway, I was a pensive loner. In Professor Lupin's class, I was an eager student with a beaming face. Soon, people began murmuring my name behind my back, chatting and gossiping about how nerdy and conceited I was. I could only shrug at such remarks. As long as I have Professor Lupin and my studies on my mind, I couldn't care less about what they remark. In fact, I was even happy at this phenomenon. People were noticing me, and certainly The Professor heard about them, too.
The Teacher disappeared once a month, whenever there was a full moon. Although his hiding place was unknown, everyone knew why he disappeared, and everyone knew about the potion that Professor Snape provided for him. Those days were the hardest for me to endure.
Professor Lupin did not treat me as if I were my father's daughter. He treated me fairly as any other student. I was both grateful and disappointed at this fact. I wished that I were more special than just a student. However, if I ever hoped that I was The Student as he was to me The Professor, the thought must have been very vague.
Anyways.
My diligence gave off. I alone succeeded in getting all Excellent remarks on the exam, which took place right before Christmas.
Christmas holidays came. People with homes went home. Ginny asked me if I wanted to live with her again. I replied no. It was not because her family treated me ill, or because of Ron, but because I knew Professor Lupin was staying at the school. He was not a loner like me, but in school, under Professor Snape's formula, he could be safer as a werewolf. And besides, with his best friend Sirius Black gone with Harry during such times, he was left alone also.
I stayed in my room during the beginning of the vacation. Wanting to see The Professor yet unable to bring myself to it. Sometimes I rambled in the empty hall, waiting for a glance of him. Yet, to my misfortune, I missed all those occasions.
One day, I intentionally wondered in front of his office door, thinking to myself nervously about what would I say when he suddenly opens the door. "Should I appear frightened? Surprised? Sad? Or hyper? Which one would arouse his attention the most? Which one would leave an exceptionally good impression on him? Which one made me seem beautiful and innocent?" I thought to myself. I did not look bad for a traitor's daughter. I was slender, tall, had dark hair and bright eyes. In addition, I took extra care of my appearance ever since I fell in love with my professor.
It seemed to be a century before the professor opened the door. All my ridiculous thoughts vanished at once and I gasped, dazzled.
He looked perfectly like his usual self, serene, yet tired. For once in my life, I wanted to say something and didn't know what.
"I knew you were outside. I didn't call you because it might have scared you away." He said softly.
I was not curious how he knew I was outside. I have heard that he had a Marauder's Map, which he made with his best friends, including my father and the one my father betrayed. I did not know whether I should be pleased or embarrassed, and still could not find words to reply.
He heaved a sigh. "Come in, Miss Excellent, perhaps you have questions for me on your exam. You have earned a perfect, you know." He looked at me as he uttered the last words.
I was rapturous at his address and did not think them sarcastic. I nodded uneasily, "Yes, uh, yes, I know, professor." He still did not compliment me on my flawless grades and bit my lip a little.
"Well, don't you wish to come in?"
I couldn't answer because I was certain that the answer would have come out incorrectly. "Oh what the heck!" I thought, and went in the door.
"So, what is your question?" my professor inquired.
"I was wondering," I did not wonder at anything academically related. As far as my grades went, I was a marvelous student, the Miss Excellent. But just to talk to him, I had to make up one. My brain searched all over the place, and I finally came up with, "what chapter are we studying next?"
"Wants to get a little ahead?" he said. It might have been funny for any other occasion but this. I could just smell the tension in the air.
"Not really. It's just that I don't have much to do; now it is the holidays. If I could read a few details ahead, it might help me greatly during the next quarter." A lie came spontaneously upon my head.
"Well, the next chapter we are going to study is werewolf."
I had expected anything but that. "Werewolf?" I repeated. Had he lost his heads? He is teaching the students to defense themselves against the teacher!
Then I asked a foolish question. "Why werewolves?"
"I was thinking that we should skip small chapters and head straight toward dark arts itself, such as basic defenses against curses, or death-eaters." He scrutinized my face at "death-eaters" as if knowing that I was thinking of my father. "Werewolf is a huge topic, and I happen to know quite much about it. It will be the last creature chapter we will study in class. Any other questions?"
"Actually, professor," I said hurriedly, ignoring his last sentence, "We don't have to learn about werewolves." I did not mean to hurt him with these words, and apparently, he did not interpret them wrongly, either.
"Oh?" he raised his face, looking straight into my eyes.
"Yes. I mean, no, we don't have to study that chapter. We can jump straight into death eaters." I pronounced the final word with an effort, trying to ignore the thoughts about father.
"You think so?" he asked pensively and a little doubtfully. "And why?"
All right, it was his turn to wonder. "I think the students know enough about… werewolves."
"And why is that?" he asked insistently.
"Goodness!" I thought to myself. "Have I gotten myself in trouble with The Professor?"
"Because," I finally summoned all my boldness, "We know you, Professor Lupin." I replied, saying his name with an inside blush. But I regretted this confession all the same. Right after I said it, I thought, "What right have I to speak for everybody? And what he must think of himself! I might have hurt him just now."
Maybe he did not anticipate such frankness, although he was calm as always.
"Oh?" That was the second time he said that. "And is it a good or bad thing?" he smiled faintly as if jesting.
"Good, of course." Eager to mend my mistakes, I quickly answered without hesitating.
He nodded and made no reply.
Just when I thought of leaving, he spoke again after a small cough. "You know, Aurora, you should mingle more with your classmates."
He was actually concerned about my social life! That meant that, he did not only notice my lonely state, but also was kind enough to tell me this! I was brimming with happiness.
"It is rather hard, professor. I do try."
"If you truly tried, depending on your test results, you should be acing on friends as well." This compliment filled me with more delight, although it reminded me of uneven times with my fellow peers.
"Well, professor, social skills are quite different. (I am sure he knew that, but was just comforting me). They do not only look at you then, but also at your personality and … background." I was being brutally honest at this time, both with him and with myself.
"I have heard that you brought the rain on the day you came to Hogwarts." He said.
It was one of my most hated rumors. "Yes" was all I could say.
"Actually, you are called Aurora, are you not?" he said, perhaps deliberately leaving off my last name.
"Yes. The light of the north, and the Roman goddess of the dawn."
"It has nothing to do with rain. It should bring sunny days." He smiled.
"Yes, sunny days. Perhaps I can change my name to Sunny." said I reflectively.
He shook his head lightly, as if remembering my last name. "It can only be your nickname, I think. You are not old enough to change it yourself."
"Nickname. My known name would be Sunny." I said gladly, and secretly added, "He gave me this name."
I left that room in profound bliss, and did not go to him again before the vacation was over. It was mostly because I could not think up another good excuse for the intrusion.
My name changed from then. Not on the outside, though, because I didn't wish everybody to call me that way. You see, only he was special. Only he knew.
The days seemed endless and I grew more and more cheerful everyday, although his classes always seemed too short. I used my new nickname whenever possible, wrote it on my homework, tests, and signed it under my drawings. I dreaded the last days of school and was happy again whenever I thought that he would teach me for 6 more years.
Unfortunately, a storm broke out, and I was the lightning.
I found out where he hid every month. It was just inside the huge tree in front of school. There were rooms inside. I found out by listening to Ron, Harry, and Mr. Black talking about an incident three years ago, when they first uncovered that my father was the traitor.
I could not resist the temptation of going. I have gained plenty of knowledge about werewolf transformations, have felt quite secured by the fact that he drank potions on such times, and was both inquisitive and fervent on knowing everything about him.
It turned out to be a gigantic mistake.
Not much happened, in reality. I had a fright with him, as a wolf, running right after me with sharp teeth and bloody eyes, almost howling with pain. He had just transformed then. That was all. Yet, because of the possibilities that lied underneath, he had to leave, for the second time.
I was blamed by everyone, from Harry to my classmates, from professors to perhaps, the headmaster himself. I blamed myself the most, however, because if there was one person who did not wish him to leave, it was I.
I heard that he was willing to leave. Professor Dumbledore offered to aid him into his staying, but he refused. For what I did not know. I had a sense that he was dodging me, yet I was not certain.
One day passed by. Two days passed by. I stayed at my room, silent as death. And the third day: it was his day of departure. It was a common knowledge that he had not much to pack.
I did not want to lose this last opportunity to say bye to him. Yet how could I? How could I face him? And if I did, I would surely cry. "Crying is weak, and it would betray my feelings for him. A traitor's daughter loving a werewolf who used to be the traitor's friend? No, it was too unimaginable, too abnormal." I repeated these words to myself.
But I decided to go, after all. I at least needed to apologize to him. I trembled and gasped every step of the way there and stopped at the door, paralyzed with doubt. "Should I go in? Or should I not? Maybe I should have written a note. Maybe he wouldn't want to see me anyways." My heart was struck by this supposition. "Harry and his friends would certainly be waiting for him at the door. Would they notice the delay in his coming and suspect me? What they must be thinking! After all that has happened." I stood there, hesitating. A moment later, an impulse came to my nerves and, spontaneously, I pushed open the door with a vehement force.
There he was, standing there with his back turned toward me and facing the desk on top of which he had placed his suitcase, which was small and shabby, the same one he came with. He heard the door and turned around. Seeing me, his eyes shone a sudden light of surprise. I found no reproach or displeasure however.
I was a little startled by my own action. I opened my mouth to speak and found my tongue moving as words flowed smoothly out. "I have come to apologize and to say good-bye. It was my mistake to follow you to the shack and I find it very unjust that you should resign because of my folly. You are a fantastic professor and I wish you'd stay. But you see, I know it is quite impossible now because you have already made up your mind. If there were any way to keep you here, Harry and Ron and … others would have already persuaded you. And my plea is in vain too because you cannot possibly accept this from the daughter of a traitor who killed one of your best friends and whom you wish to kill. You will go because you are obstinate and heartless and … considerate." Incoherent sentences followed one after another. The last adjectives were pronounced with tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to smile all along, but with every fall of my chest as my breathing became faster, my smile grew more and more difficult to control. As I said my speech, he turned around again, not looking at me in any way. When I said "daughter of a traitor who killed one of your best friends and whom you wish to kill", I heard him heaving a light sigh.
"That would be all." I added one more clumsily and seeing no response, turned around, gathered every power in my limbs and tried to walk out.
"Wait." He called abruptly. I turned around again, as a trained soldier his commander.
He walked towards me. "It was not your fault." He said quietly and calmly. "You needn't apologize. I resigned on my own accord. Even if you had not followed me on that evening, I would have resigned anyways. This should not burden you."
"Then why do you have to leave?" I asked.
"Because," he said reflectively, "There are certain things that weigh heavily upon my heart."
"Such as teaching the daughter of a traitor?" I burst out, not knowing why myself.
He raised his eyes. "No, such as teaching ... I should leave now. They are waiting." He picked up his suitcase.
"No!" I barred the doorway. He looked at me with inquiry in his eyes.
"I mean, you cannot leave here unless you finish the sentence you began."
"You cannot bar my door way forever, Sunny. I will leave. After all, I know some useful spells that would help me in this situation. I would not hurt you, but I will leave."
"All right." I nodded stubbornly. "You can leave, but you may not leave."
"Why?"
"In the name of Sunny and not in the name of Aurora Pettigrew, you, Professor Remus Lupin, may not leave." I have determined to spill everything all of a sudden.
He smiled bitterly. "I am not a professor any more, Sunny. Let me go. I have things to do that you do not know of."
"What thing? Killing my father?" a sudden dread entered my mind at this second and I asked in incredulity, "Finding Voldemort?"
He stared into my eyes at the last question. I could see wonder and amazement, although his face was perfectly normal, although a little pale.
"Is that why you have to leave?" I asked.
"This and… nothing else. I insist on doing this." He replied slowly. "Now I must go."
I watched him gently pushing me aside and walking out of the room into the hallway. A decision came in mind as I crept slowly after him. He stopped at the gate to say farewell to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. It gave just the time for using the newest tracing spell he taught us.
Fate had decided that I should not return to Hogwarts that night. I traced him all the way to his home in the woods, where he stayed shortly before he went to look for the dark lord with whom my father was surely staying.
Anyways. I could not hide myself from him always, especially when I followed him on his journey. I was discovered on the very first day.
"What have you come here for?" he asked with a severe tone in his voice.
"I… I…" I could not make up an excuse. "I wanted to go and see my father. He is sure to be with Voldemort, and I have come to see him."
"Don't you know how perilous it is?" he was frowning. "going on to a journey with a werewolf who is looking for the dark lord. I should have predicted that you would not give up so easily."
"I have the right to see my father, however uncomfortable everything may be. Are you taking me with you, or not?"
"I am sending you back. This matter is of a grave importance and serious danger. I will let Professor Dumbledore take care of you, back at Hogwarts. Listen to me and go back."
"No, I won't! I have come thus far to see my father (this excuse was getting handy), and I won't turn back now. Just you try to force me. I know some spells, too, professor."
"This is for your own good. I don't think anyone would find the consequences agreeable. Here is a little spell that I haven't taught you." He raised his wand.
"Expelliarmus!" I raised my wand, which was hidden right behind my back. Immediately, his wand flew into my left hand. I could not believe my good luck when I caught it.
He looked at me with more intensity in his eyes. Slowly and calmly, he raised his hand. "Give back the wand, Sunny. You are not fit here." He said softly.
I spontaneously nodded. And realizing his request, I shook my head.
"Give me the wand."
My mind was made up now and I shook my head again. Putting the wands behind my back, I stood my ground.
"If you don't give me the wand, I will have to force you to. I do not like to force you, but if I must, I will."
"You cannot get the wand from me, Professor Lupin. Either I come with you to find Voldemort, or we stay here like this." I raised my head and my eyes to his.
"You are being fool-hardy. This will do neither of us any good."
I began to see my triumph now. Professor Lupin wouldn't harm anyone, and certainly not me. "No, I am coming with you. I am not turning back. You cannot face Voldemort without your wand, and it is in my hands. Therefore, you must take me with you. You cannot get the wand from me, either, because I can bind you with the wands. Now are you taking me with you?"
He looked at the ground for a short pause. And, raising his head without looking at me, he patted his robe, arousing a small cloud of dust, and started walking away. I was dumbfounded.
"Stop!" I yelled after he had walked a few steps.
He stopped, but did not turn around.
"Stop, where are you going?"
"Sunny, I need to find Voldemort. It is my task."
"But you don't have your wand! You will never live to tell if you find him."
He turned his head at last. From his side profile, I could see a small smile hanging on his lips. "My task is to find Voldemort, not to go back alive. I probably would not survive even with my wand, which is useful to you right now. Go back, Sunny. And if you do not wish me to die without a chance, give me back my wand. Give me my wand and walk away from here."
Now I saw that I could never topple him. He would always win. He would always win because I cared more than he did. I cared about his life even more than he himself. What could anyone do to one who had conquered all fear? I could not do this. But I was not willing to give up like this. I struggled in my mind for a way to win over him, to have my way, to go with him anywhere, because I was willing.
"But I am willing to go with you! Why would you rather die than to take me along?"
"For the very same reason I resigned, Sunny." He heaved a sigh as I gasped. As I made no reply, he began walking away again.
I stood there, amazed, trying to see the meaning behind his words and the emotions behind his mask.
"Stop! I am coming with you!" I ran after him.
"Is there a way to make you go back?" he asked.
"No." I lied. There was only one way to let me go back out of my own will, and that was to let him come back as well. But I knew that he would never do that, so as a result, I could not turn back.
"Come then if you still wish to." He said.
I could scarcely believe my ears. After all those struggles, he submitted to my will just like this. I was blessedly happy.
"You promise not to turn me away?" I asked.
"No. You know I wouldn't break my words, Sunny."
"Yes, I do." I thought to myself, content, and smiling, gave back his wand.
Anyways.
Days went by quickly as we cut through the woods from day to day. I had not feared for even one moment. Somehow, the woods held a special place in me as if I could talk to the trees and hush up the wind. He followed his word and did not try to chase me away or send me away with either his words or his wand. At night, he was always able to find a cave for me to sleep in and he would always sleep outside, or nowhere at all. Due to his werewolf nature, he was able to find food simply and quickly. Always, he would silently prepare everything in an instant. I did not know how he did these marvels, but I did not question him about it.
Those times in the woods were my best experiences in my entire life up to that point. It had to end, however, and I did not like the ending.
We did find Voldemort. Along with him, there was my father, Peter Pettigrew and other death eaters.
On that morning, he went off alone, intentionally leaving me behind. Fortunately, I had perceived that the place was near, and I woke up much earlier than usual. I looked outside and found no one. There was no trace on the ground either. How did I walk to the right place where they were I did not know. There seemed to be a mystic force guiding me along. When I arrived, he was hiding behind a bush, watching the dark lord and his followers gathering around. I quietly walked up behind him. He sensed me and gestured for me to be silent; I nodded in obedience.
Just then, the dark lord turned around toward us. He must have heard me coming. His red, penetrating eyes were keen as knives, staring right through our disguise. He narrowed his eyes and ceased his speech, of which I have heard none.
"Who is it?" His voice sounded like a whip. He raised his wand directly toward us. A huge, devilish snake beside him hissed at the same time.
I, for the first time in months, felt coldness and terror. Professor Lupin stepped out with his wand in his right hand.
"It is I, Voldemort." He said evenly, without a shiver in his limbs or voice. His left hand was behind his back, motioning me not to make a single sound. I understood his purpose at once. If Voldemort searched for us, neither of us could get away. But if he stepped up, Voldemort may not guess that there was another one hiding.
Voldemort narrowed his eyes even further. I nearly trembled all over. My teeth were clenched as well as my fists, but I did not notice at the time.
"You? The werewolf, Remus Lupin?" He pronounced the name with exactness and great care.
My heart skipped a beat at the mentioning of that name.
My professor nodded slightly.
"You are being very bold. You have entered the lord's presence as an enemy without fear. Such loyalty and courage are very rare to find nowadays. You must be very valuable to Dumbledore." Voldemort said, lowering his wand.
The dark lord had surprised me. I looked at his followers, who were also stunned by Voldemort's tone of respect when speaking to my professor. I felt pride rising inside of me.
Professor Lupin again nodded.
"So why have you come, to find me? To report back my whereabouts?"
Professor once more nodded slightly.
"Aren't you amazed by me? I have seen through your motives from the start. I have known you from the beginning. Why don't you speak! Talk to me!" Voldemort's voice grew louder. The basilisk hissed also with increased volume.
"I expected no less from you." Said professor peacefully, contrasting with the dark lord's increasingly exasperated state.
"Fine answer! I like you, young man. You may be very useful to me."
My professor shook his head.
"No?" asked Voldemort, raising one of his eyebrows quizzically. "Perhaps you would like for me to give you a present, a payment." He turned to a small gray man with a silvery arm. "Perhaps you would like to kill this man as your gift from the great lord Voldemort?"
"He is more of a servant to you than I would ever be. As much I despise him, I won't kill him and be in your service."
"No? Again? You refuse to kill the very traitor you wished to destroy three years ago?"
At these words I stepped out. That short, weak, gray man was my father, Peter Pettigrew! The very man Voldemort offered for Professor Lupin to kill was my father, who gave up his friendship, his finger, and his soul to this evil lord! Rage filled my heart more than shame. I walked up, with my lips trembling and my eyes flaming.
"How dare you? How dare you offer your own servant to your enemy? How dare you to offer MY father's life for another person who would never bow to you? How dare you, Lord Voldemort? How dare you?" Words broke from me like lightning. There was no longer fright or dread. My body was in state of trepidation, but instead of from fright, it was from anger.
Lord Voldemort turned immediately to me. He narrowed his eyes in an apparent curiosity.
"So you did not come alone? You took a student with you, a girl." He grinned darkly. Professor Lupin sighed and I could detect a frown from him.
"I wanted to come." I said, raising my voice and my head at the same time. "I insisted on coming. I wanted to see you, and … your servant. But I never expected such nastiness and cruelty." I glanced at what was called my father, who had cornered himself away in deep shadow.
"Who are you, my girl? What is your name?" He asked with rigorous intrigue.
"Aurora Pettigrew." I wanted to say Sunny, but then I realized that my legal name was Aurora.
"No, your name is not Aurora." Voldemort started walking toward me. I stood my ground, trying not to be afraid. "You are not Aurora Pettigrew. Look at that creature on the ground, that weak little servant of mine. How can he be your father? Look at yourself, you are beautiful and brave and strong. You are nothing like him because he has no part in you."
My eyes opened wide. "Was I dreaming?" I thought. "How could this be? My father is not Peter Pettigrew? Who am I then? Who am I?"
Voldemort answered this question as if he saw through me. "You are my daughter. You are a part of the Slytherin. You are the daughter of the most powerful and intelligent lord that ever lived and will ever live. You are Isis. Erase Aurora Pettigrew from your mind. You are MY daughter. Are you not proud? You should be, because you are my descendent. I guess your mother WAS of some use to me. She gave me a beautiful daughter. But she was a Gryffindor. Are you in Gryffindor? Yes, I see. Well, soon enough you will discover that you have the same amount of cunning as your courage."
"Shut up!" I yelled. "I am no daughter of yours. I am no daughter of anyone! You are not my father. I would not acknowledge you. Professor Lupin, I think we have heard enough absurdities here and let us go back." I extended my arm to Professor Lupin without looking at him. My eyes were drawn too much to Voldemort's.
Professor Lupin did not grab my hand. "You are Voldemort's daughter. Go away with your father. Don't ever return any more."
My head turned in immediate amazement. I found him staring at Voldemort. "But professor…"
"No more words, Isis. You heard your professor. He is incredibly right. Come to me. It is time for us to be united. I wanted you to finish all seven years at Hogwarts at first so that you could know more materials. But now I see no need. You have spirit in you. You have my spirit in you. You are rebellious, fiery, clever, and authoritative. You are my image."
"NO!" I yelled, looking helplessly at my professor, whose countenance expressed no surprise, but only tranquility.
"Be away, Isis." He said. My heart felt a stung as he uttered my third name.
"Come, my daughter." Voldemort extended his bony hands. He was my father.
"But I loathe you! How can I go with you! I came to find you, not to go with you!"
"Loathe me?" the dark lord's eyes were narrowing threateningly. "Don't worry, you will come to obey me in time. I don't have much patience, however I may like your temper. Come or die with this werewolf!"
Die?? I now understood why professor told me to go. He could never yield to Voldemort, and that would drag me to death with him. So seeing that Voldemort was my father, he wanted me to go away with my father who would not hurt me if I only submitted.
"You wouldn't kill him!" I cried out loud my sole fear.
"Of course I would, and I will."
"What makes you think that I would certainly lose, Voldemort?" asked my professor quietly. "After all, I am not a muggle."
"In addition to my power, I have all these servants. What makes you think you would win?" Voldemort turned his focus on my professor again.
"The odds are great. But I still have a chance."
"You are wrong for the first time, young man. You do not ever have a chance in front of Lord Voldemort."
"This may be the first time when you are wrong, not to mention your mistake when trying to kill Harry and take over the world."
Voldemort hissed in anger. "You try me, Lupin. I shall truly enjoy seeing you die."
My professor made paused. He looked down at his own wand in a cynical way. I had not yet, up till that point, seen so careless an expression on his face.
"You fool. You think you shall rule forever. What a waste of wand." He said.
This seemed to be the ultimate limit for Voldemort's tolerance. Without speaking a word or moving his lips, curling chords came out of the end of his wand and bound my professor from shoulders to legs. I have heard of the account of how Professor Snape once bound him in a similar fashion three years ago, but now, seeing the situation plainly in front of me, I was frightened for him.
Professor Lupin could not stand and fell to the ground. I instinctively ran to him, but one of the death eaters blocked my way. Voldemort gazed down at my professor and again, without moving his lips, he succeeded in tightening the chords, which now had cut into Professor Lupin's flesh.
"Groan, Lupin. No one can endure my chords. Don't you like them? They stab into flesh nicely and easily. This is my invention. Dumbledore, nor anyone else, knows how to defense themselves against my chords. You are the Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, but you wouldn't know this one, would you? Groan. I want to hear the sound of suffering from any of Dumbledore's trusty men. If you would only follow me instead, I can spare you from a miserable death."
My professor, as I predicted in my heart, remained silent and placid. Drops of sweat was gathering on his forehead as the rope tightened even further. I felt as if I could hear the bones being squeezed and rubbed against each other.
The death eater who was blocking me was turned half way to watch the torture as well. Wince came upon his face as he saw the chords being colored by blood. I grabbed my chance and took his wand in my hands, ran up to my professor, and tried to release the chords for him. But I soon realized that the more I struggled with it, the tighter it grew. I glanced helplessly around and saw many frowning yet hostile faces. I looked at Peter Pettigrew, who was no longer my father, and saw that he was watching with satisfaction and relief. Fury rose as I turned my flaming eyes to who now was my father, Voldemort, and saw that he was watching with a grin as well.
"Release the chords!" I yelled to the dark lord.
"No, my dear." Voldemort waved his finger at me, gesturing as he would to a child who was having a tantrum, "Not him. He is valuable to Dumbledore and therefore is dangerous to me. Stop trying for him. You are making him suffer more than he is by me."
"But you can release him from this."
"Isis, listen. He is an insurgent to me. It's either his death or mine. And the dark lord would never die, therefore the enemies must. Now come to me before I kill you as well!"
I stared at him in bewilderment and rage. This very same person, who said a minute ago that he was proud of me stated just a moment later that he would kill me.
I looked back to my professor and found him beginning to talk to me through clenched teeth. He was trying to talk as loudly as he could so that Voldemort could hear him.
"Get away from me, you daughter of devil! I will kill you myself once I have a chance. You trapped me. You were a conspirator. Get out of my sight!"
At first, my mind was exploding. "What? I trapped him?" Then later, my thought became clearer, "He is trying to protect me, even at such an hour!" My emotions suddenly grew ten times as great as before.
"Now, father, do you want a living daughter or a dead one?" I turned to Voldemort, suddenly speaking coolly in a negotiating manner.
"A living and an obedient daughter." Voldemort was grinning more darkly than ever. His eyes narrowed in vigilance.
"Do you value a living, obedient daughter more than a lowly werewolf?" I tried my second question, knowing fully well that he would guess my intention.
Voldemort did not disappoint me. "I expected as much from you, Isis. Yes, I do value you more than Lupin, although he is not a bad lad, in fact, better than most of my people here." He looked at the servant who tried to bar my way. The servant nearly knelt down just from that one short glance. I marveled at the show of authority.
"So you want me to let him live in exchange for your complete devotion?"
I nodded at this statement.
Immediately, I saw the chords disappearing from Professor Lupin and went back to the end of Voldemort's wand. But instead, a ray of shadow began reaching for my professor. I watched in confusion about what went on and realized suddenly that the ray was absorbing life out of my professor.
"He is strong. He has much more power than I suspected. I envy Dumbledore for having such a man. If only he would yield…"
"What are you doing to him?" I saw Professor Lupin's face growing paler and paler. His eyes were now closed as if he was unconscious.
"He will be alive, Isis, although only his heart will continue to function."
My head thundered at that last part. A cold realization stabbed me like a knife. Spontaneously, I put myself between the light and the wand. The light immediately ceased.
"You are rebelling against me, Isis."
"And you are to follow the deal, father." I said insolently.
He narrowed his eyes again with even more intensity. "And what part of the deal have I not followed?"
"Well," I gathered up every ounce of courage in me, "You promised to let him go alive."
"He will still be alive by the time I finish with him."
"No he will not be. He would be a vegetable, not a man."
"But he would still be living."
"I do not call that living, father."
"You love him." He said.
"What?"
"You love him! You love a werewolf! You love the damned enemy of Lord Voldemort!"
"Yes! But right now just send him back!" I yelled, almost in tears.
"You are asking too much." Voldemort raised the wand with his right hand and caressed it menacingly with his left.
"Well, too bad." I said, no longer in a serious mood.
He waited for a moment. "All right. Isis, come with me, and you," he pointed his wand at Professor Lupin, "Go away." My professor's body immediately vanished in thin air.
"Where have you sent him?" I asked with my eyes wide open.
"To Dumbledore." He said with irritation in his voice.
"Can I trust you on this?"
"Do not ever doubt me, Isis. I am powerful enough to rule without any more deceit. Your father is not quite so dishonorable, although he is cruel and heartless and ruthless and other villainous terms you are thinking up in your little mind."
The day ended for me.
So, I, as Aurora Pettigrew, Isis Voldemort, and Sunny - my only true name - have been ever since with the great dark lord himself. Fearing my resentment would mutiny against him, my father the evil lord had shut me up into a world of mine own. I only have my shadow and my memories to keep me company. Not for a day have I not wondered what has become of my Professor Lupin. Out of my veneration for him, I have never addressed him as Remus. Yet that familiarity had already created a bond between us. For many times I have thought that he had feelings for me as well, and these feelings served as reasons for his resignation. But I am not certain.
For the entire past week, I have been writing down all my recollections from that time about 3 years ago. Now that I am done, I am going to sleep.