green-eyed monster
disclaimer: sket dance does not belong to me. unfortunately.
chapter one: stirring
Fujisaki Yusuke was having the best day ever. Starting out great it was progressing rapidly to levels of sheer awesomeness.
Unlike his general morning routine when he would sleep through the alarm and rush around like a madman trying to get ready, he actually made it to school fifteen minutes ahead of time.
Math period gave way to a surprise pop quiz. The kind he would normally have no chance of passing but managed to get a B+ on, this miraculous morning.
The school cafeteria which had gained a reputation for its soggy rice and mystery meat served a pleasantly sumptuous all-dumpling buffet. Apparently it was the Principal's grandson's birthday and the kid adored dumplings, so the doting old man saw it fit to ensure the day's menu consisted of nothing but them. Bossun devoured eight different varieties and polished it off with a bowl of mandarin jelly and a raucous burp.
A host of small but significant things brightened his afternoon: the new candy dispenser installed near class 3-C, finding a mint condition Poppman figurine he could add to his superhero collection, and that note Switch had passed him in Japanese History:
New episodes of Dino-Warriors: Animax, 7 pm, starting next week! \(^o^)/
His favourite anime was being renewed for a second season. And in addition to the above, there was always the immediate weekend to look forward to.
"Oi Bossun, class is over." A stinging slap on the back jolted him out of his reverie. Himeko was leaning over him, eyebrows raised. "Usually you're the first one out."
"I was in my happy place," he said defensively. "And that hurt, you know."
She snorted. "Please. It was a pat."
He glared half-heartedly before stuffing his books into the bag and glanced at the subject schedule. Study Hall. Which meant he could do what he loved doing best: helping people.
At the clubroom, time passed cheerily.
Himeko made hot cocoa – she even added those mini marshmallows he liked so much – and Switch's Fukari Wa Nervous! updates were easier to tolerate. And of course, people came with requests. That was the best part.
Yabasawa-chan was the first. Eyeing them hopefully she stated her cause.
"I'm trying to impress this boy… so I need some fashion tips to look good. Yabasu, I'm so embarrassed!" she giggled, blushing. (Bossun tried not to look relieved. He had feared it would involve hunting down that damned monkey of hers again.) After fifteen minutes of their brainstorming ideas – some good, some bad, and some downright dirty – she thanked them gratefully and left.
The next one to avail their services was Captain.
"As you can see I got into a little accident yesterday." She held up her cast-bound right arm. "And I'm the coach of the junior girls' basketball team which I won't be able to train now. Is there any way you guys could find me a replacement coach for a few weeks till my arm heals?"
Sugihara Teppei was one of the very first suggestions they put forward.
"The vice-captain of the senior boys' team?" Captain wondered aloud. "I don't know… Doesn't he have enough responsibilities to deal with?"
"Teppei is the perfect choice, really," Bossun explained. "He's one of our best basketball players. Plus he's extremely helpful. This is just his kind of thing, trust me."
And so it was settled.
People came one after the other. Dante complained of having lost the inspiration to compose music, Yamanobe-sensei tearfully proclaimed that one of the boys in his Games Club was threatening to leave which would mean its disbandment, and Remi-oneesan needed help in searching for her lost "super-kawaiii" Specter keychain.
The SKET Dan successfully provided a solution to all the cases: Dante was told to engage himself with other activities till the slump wore off, they bribed the boy who adored Kibitsu Momoka with the offer of meeting her if he promised not to quit, and knowing Oneesan's forgetfulness Bossun rightly predicted the keychain to be in her pocket.
Ah. There was nothing better than a satisfied client. Not even mini marshmallows.
Things were going unnaturally smooth and study hall was almost over when the final request came, casting a damper on his fabulous day.
The door slid open.
[Ohoho… Looks like the Student Council is at the SKET Dan's mercy once again!] taunted Switch.
"S-shut up!" Tsubaki looked away. "It's not like I need your lame services or anything!"
Bossun rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "You sound like Saaya, man. Stop the tsundere act and just get in already."
"So… what's up, otouto?" Himeko fawned, once he had been seated. "Did you come to see onii-chan?"
"Jeez, Himeko! How many times have I told you not to do that?!" Bossun cried, chagrined.
"I have a request," muttered Tsubaki red-faced, looking like he wished he were elsewhere in the world.
[And…?]
"It concerns Kiri."
Bossun felt his mood take an immediate nosedive. He snorted. "I always knew that brat would come to a bad end. What's he done now?"
"He hasn't done anything. He is in fact, the most dedicated member of the Student Council," was the reproachful answer.
"But of course," agreed Bossun, voice heavy with sarcasm. "He's a superstar. Tokyo loves him. Whaddya' here for then?"
Himeko jabbed his side. "Don't be a douche."
Tsubaki ignored the whole exchange. "Kiri is too antisocial."
"Now that's a shocker."
"Bossun, I swear to God. One more snide remark, I'll get out Flagrance."
"You're a big bully, s'all you are," he muttered, lapsing into a sulky silence.
[LOL]
Tsubaki glanced upwards briefly as if praying for strength. "Like I was saying," he continued, "Kiri keeps to himself far too much. He never socialises, never tries to make conversation unless it is absolutely essential."
Himeko frowned. "Not even with you? Katou practically worships the ground you walk on!"
"My point exactly. He sees me as this larger-than-life hero figure. Someone who can be idolised, not spoken to. His refusal to interact with his peers has reached the level where he wouldn't even accept a box of chocolates from a junior on Valentine's Day. Poor girl burst into tears right there in the hallway. Apparently she had been infatuated with him for quite awhile."
[Surely he felt bad then?]
"He pointed out that those preposterously high heeled shoes she wore were not in keeping with uniform policy, and on realising she did not have a validated hall-pass to be out during fifth period, dragged her off to class."
[Ouch.]
"While it is true that under no circumstances can breaking of school rules be treated lightly," admitted Tsubaki, "his total lack of empathy for Kozuki is distressing. He doesn't seem to understand the value of companionship. Any advice I am to give in this area goes completely unheard."
"Oh, stop looking so damned depressed," muttered Bossun. "You look like that donkey from Winnie the Pooh."
"I suppose it does do no good to brood…" A sigh. "Will you help me?"
He scowled. As much as Tsubaki's self-appointed lackey grated on his nerves, his morals told him that it wasn't right to turn down a plea for help – not even one involving shiny shuriken-throwing delinquent ninjas with super-cool moooves that blond-headed amazonian women might be attracted to. So he grunted out a noncommittal "Whatever."
"Excellent!" Tsubaki perked up. "So what do you propose to do?"
"Don't know. Gotta think." He stuck to terse phrases hoping the latter would take the hint and go away, but he didn't.
"Actually… I had an idea."
[Oh?]
"I was thinking, that maybe…" He paused. "…Onizuka could speak to Kiri."
"Me?"
"Her?"
Tsubaki shrugged. "Why not? She is, by his own admission, one of the few people he respects. If anyone could make him see sense, I daresay it would be her."
Switch released a loud electronic giggle foreseeing where this seemingly harmless remark would lead.
Bossun's jaw dropped. "He talks about her?" A part of his brain – the rational one – told him he was overreacting but he effectively tuned it out. "Like, how often? What does he say? Anything about weird fetishes towards older women?" Yanking Tsubaki forward by the collar he shook him urgently.
[OMG, I must take a video–]
"G-get your hands off me!" Tsubaki stammered. When his brother showed no signs of complying, he repeated more harshly. "As the President of the Student Council of Kaimei Academy, I refuse to let myself be manhandled like this! I ORDER you to release me. Now."
Himeko who had been watching the proceedings with growing bewilderment decided she'd had enough and roundly smacked Bossun upside the head. "The hell's the matter with you? Let him go!"
Bossun briefly considered throttling the bastard and deciding it wasn't worth the consequences, retracted his hands in disgust.
Tsubaki straightened his shirt fussily and fixed him with a basilisk glare that would have intimidated anyone else. "How dare you–"
Bossun waved off the incoming hissy fit curtly. "Look, there's no way Himeko's getting involved. End of story."
"And why not?" The girl in question demanded, irked.
"Because it's none of your business!" he snapped back, patience thinning. "Switch can take care of this."
[Uh-oh…]
"None. Of. My business?"
Sensing the growing menace in her tone he gulped and began to backtrack. "Now, really, that didn't come out right–"
"Didn't it? Then explain."
He glanced at Switch reflexively but the otaku was in silent hysterics. Bossun struggled to find a reply. Why was he being so weird about this anyway? The answer was out there somewhere but it seemed to evade him. Keeping his eyes trained on the floor, he mumbled something intelligible.
"What?"
"It's complicated." Silence, and then she stood up. He cringed waiting for the blow but it never came.
"Actually, it's pretty simple. You obviously think I'm too stupid to handle requests."
"Huh? No–"
She cut him off brusquely. "I'm just a girl, right? Some dumb blonde," she gestured to her dyed hair, "who's only fit to make tea and bake cookies and take out the trash."
"But–"
"Or it is not girls in general at all, but just me? What, I'm not capable enough?"
"I never said–"
"Well, screw you." Himeko's eyes had settled into a sort of icy calm – something he found even scarier than when they used to spit fire. She turned to Tsubaki who looked like he was heartily regretting his decision to come here after all the chaos it had caused. "Tell Katou to wait in the courtyard on Monday before school. I'll do what I can."
"Himeko…" Bossun could only watch helplessly as she strode out of the room. His frustration took an entirely different route as he rounded on his twin. "This is all YOUR fault!"
"Rubbish," said Tsubaki, as if he hadn't been considering the same thing himself. "It is, in fact, your chauvinism that got Onizuka understandably upset."
"I'm not a cha-whatever!"
Tsubaki just shook his head as he got up to leave. "I side with her on this one, Fujisaki. You really can be insensitive to people's feelings. I hope you can change that." And he was gone.
Bossun slumped, disgruntled. What a mess.
[There, there.] Switch attempted comfort. Traitor. He had been tittering like a drunken cheerleader not two minutes ago.
"I didn't know she'd take it so personally!"
[She jumped to her own conclusions, you are not at fault.]
"Damn straight." He exhaled. "But now she's all huffy."
[It's Himeko. She'll come around.]
True, that.
He and Himeko had disagreed, bickered, argued, squabbled and fought so many times both verbally and physically – the latter always being initiated and won by her, of course – that never in history had twenty four hours gone by without some sort of conflict. This whole fall out-make up situation was a way of life. To be honest, he was more worried about something else.
"She's still gonna talk to that ninja, isn't she?"
[Probably.] Switch paused and added craftily, [Why should you be bothered?]
"I'm not." He didn't sound convincing even to himself.
[Don't you remember the last time you got paranoid? She made it clear she wasn't interested in him.]
"I know. It's just…" he trailed off trying not to dwell on how much the mention of Katou Kiri seemed to affect him. "…I don't trust that guy."
[As usual when it concerns Himeko, you're over-thinking it. This is just another fight and that will be just another conversation. Now chillax already.]
Bossun nodded slowly, pushing away the nagging little doubt that said it wouldn't be either. "Punk's younger than her, for crying out loud," he scoffed. "And if if I ignore her little tantrum she'll get over it." A smirk. "After all, it's my lucky streak, ne?"
Famous last words, buddy. Famous last words.
notes: konnichiwa minna-san! thank you for giving this story a try – i trust you weren't disappointed?
this being my first sket fic, i'm still shaky on the characterisation. all constructive criticism is welcome.
edited (27/8/2014)