"Looking for a Vast Conspiracy"
by Michael J Paluka (Xebot)Sung to the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland".
Mulder:
Aliens, are you listening?
I want back my sister's earrings
you cannot hold back
the "truth" with the facts
looking for a vast conspiracy.
Scully:
I could-a been a famous agent
busting crooks, like Pat Buchanan
instead I'm paired with
a pasty-faced twit
looking for some dumb conspiracy
Scully and Mulder, together:
during sweeps-week we'll give you the answer
then reverse it in all in the next show
you'll ask: is there a plot?
we'll say: No man,
we're working off the scripts
cut from "Twin Peaks"
Cigarette Man:
later on, I'll conspire,
a Pokemon that breathes fire
we hope to attract
our audience back
looking for a new conspiracy
Scully and Mulder, together:
In the meantime we'll get controversial
just look what it did for Murphy Brown
we'll have lots of sex with the aliens
if only that damn V-chip weren't around
Mulder:
From Art Bell, I just got a
picture of a Chupacabra
Scully:
then why is the 'cabra wearing a flea collar?
I'm working with a stupid idiot.
Scully and Mulder, together:
looking for a vast conspiracy
looking for a vast conspiracy