Hey guys I know I need to continue with my next saga but I had this horrid idea that is absolutely hilarious I think. The very concept of it is what brought you to read this story! Yes, babysitter, for Trunks, Goten, and Marron. Don't question it, just accept it.
It may contradict with my little timeline but I'm okay with that.
Vegeta: Daughteralucard doesn't own DBZ or VMB
Goku: Hey! I was suppose to do the disclaimer this time! She promised.
Vegeta: Shut up Kakarotte I'm the official disclaimer person! AND I'm the Prince-
Goku: of all saiyans?
I'm sorry we must interrupt this program for violent content that is not part of the story
Chapter 1
Piccolo
Bulma sighed in dissatisfaction. Vegeta never took her ANYWHERE! When Chichi visited Goku never took HER anywhere either. Bulma was stuck at home watching her eight year old son and sometimes Goten. Chichi was also stuck in the same situation only to make her situation worse she lived out in the middle of the woods.
Bulma suddenly had an idea. An evil idea. An awful idea. Bulma suddenly had an evil awful idea (thank you Dr. Seuss for this line!) She walked down to the gravity room and watched her long time lover training hard with such discipline that her long time ex Yamcha had never showed. His workaholic dispassion and his show of passion for something real was one of the things that had attracted her to the proud saiyan. She smiled deviously as her simple little scheme was about to play out. The only difference between her and her sons was she was not quite as complex. But she was just as evil, or they were as evil as her, I should say. She innocently walked over whistling to herself to the power generator that worked the GR. She picked up a small needle nose plyers and 'accidentally' dropped it inside the machine electrical wires to cross that shouldn't and the power for the GR completely went out.
"Oops," she said trying to compress a smile. She walked over to the Elevator of Convenience that was in the same room as the controls and went back up to the apartment floor where the Briefs and Vegeta lived. She sat at the table and started a game of Solitaire while waiting for the pissed off saiyan to come storming up in a rage. It didn't take long. She just started dealing cards out when the door came swinging open aggressively and the angry man stood before her.
"Bulma," he said trying not to sound stressed out, "that blasted machine of yours broke down."
"Vegeta, that blasted son of yours is driving me nuts. That blasted Goku never takes Chichi out. You never take me any blasted place. The blasted GR can wait till you take me some place with our blasted friends that we haven't seen in forever," Bulma giggled imitating the angry saiyan knowing full well what kind of rage he was going to fly in.
"WOMAN DON'T MOCK ME! KAKAROTTE IS NOT MY FRIEND AND NEITHER IS HIS HARPY WIFE AND THE BOY CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF! HE IS BLOODY EIGHT!"
"Oh calm down Vegeta before you give yourself and amorism or something. Look all I want is one night with Goku and Chichi and I will fix your GR first thing tomorrow. P-p-please," she said with her big blue puppy dog eyes. Vegeta sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. He waved his arms up in a 'whatever' fashion' and walked off over to the TV dreading his night that will be spent an eating contest against Kakarotte that he wasn't going to participate in and listen to Bulma and Chichi chatter on about weird and useless female things like shopping, or boys, or their periods, or pregnancy scares.
Bulma squealed in delight. Smart, simply, and it didn't even fire back. Eat your hearts out Trunks and Mirai Trunks! Speaking of Mirai Trunks he happened to walk in with King arguing over something.
"She's a bloody slut," growled King.
"She is not. She's a druggy but not a slut," argued Trunks.
"Please! 'Hit Me Baby One more Time'? She is a masochist slut!"
"Brittany is married!"
"To a man bitch!"
"A back up dancer!"
"What's the difference?!"
"I don't know! I don't really care actually. Look she isn't a slut until she cheats on him."
"Yea, I give them a year before they divorce."
"Yea, whatever man, your crazy," argued Mirai Trunks not realizing the irony in him saying that Brittany Spears was crazy. Bulma watched as the two saiyans argued and remembered that Trunks and Goten were going to need a babysitter (Marron will come later I promise. Maybe the next chapter). She picked up the phone and her contact book. She put her hand over her eyes and randomly picked a name. Mirai and King both watched in interest. They looked over and saw Vegeta slumped on the couch like and angry teenager. They exchanged looks and looked back at Bulma. She was dialing a number. When the person on the other line picked up she suddenly had a sweet sound in her voice.
"Hey, how are you? Yea? Oh, I just called to tell you that I need a babysitter…er…I mean…someone to train Goten and Trunks while Vegeta, Goku, Chichi and I are out tonight. Yea? Really? Okay I will see you in a few! Thank you so much! I know you don't normally do things like this. Yea, no problem." Bulma hung up the phone then called up Chichi to tell her what was going on.
Mirai and King both took over the dinning room table after Bulma jumped excitedly in the kitchen. "What just happened," asked Mirai.
"The woman has managed to trick me into a fucking 'date'," snarled Vegeta walking over after not being able to find anything on the TV. He sat next to his future son with a gloomy look.
"How did that happen," asked King.
"The GR broke down," he grumbled.
"Think she had anything to do with it," asked Mirai.
"Why would she break her own invention," growled Vegeta at Mirai's stupidness.
"Yea, I guess you're right." King shook his head. After being around Bulma for a while he began to understand how the complicated woman's mind worked. Often times she had told Mirai that she wished Vegeta would take her places or at least go places with her. Despite the fact that Mirai and King despised each other with a deep passion Mirai still felt the need to tell King about it. It might be because it was summer vacation and all of his friends were either afraid of him now, on vacation somewhere else, at some camp, or just being scarce for a short while. So Mirai turned to his grandfather to tell stuff to.
King had shook his head, he needed to talk to someone his own age, King was to old for this.
King was shocked it was Mirai who figured it out first but his self righteous and head strong son basically killed the idea. King didn't say anything because it would only open up a door to a whole new thing between Mirai and Vegeta that should remain closed.
Obviously Bulma had not brought this to his attention out right or she did and Vegeta just blew if off as another temper outburst. Honestly sometimes Vegeta proved himself to be one of the dimwitted or crazies he often times put down.
He just shook his head and left. Mirai, who had plans with the infamous Jeannette Vorman (If you don't remember she is Mirai's often times random lover that he visits. I don't think I ever actually introduced her in person but it will happen one of these days.)
Bulma was going to go the fanciest restaurant and the fact that she was famous meant she didn't need reservations! She pulled out a light blue gown that faded to a darker royal blue at the bottom. It was sleeveless and had silver sparkles scattered on it. She wore a silver chain around her neck, silver earrings with a small pearl hanging on them by a small chain, a silver anklet cuff and dark royal blue flats. She wore her long blue hair down her back. She looked like an angle. Unless you are Vegeta then she looked like the Devil in a blue dress.
The doorbell rang after Bulma put the black mascara, blue eye shadow, pink lipstick, and pale compact on. She ran to the door and she saw Chichi and Goku waiting. She was dressed in a long red dress; her black hair was up in waves in a pony tale. Her black shoes matched her black purse. She had black eye shadow and mascara and deep red lipstick to match her dress. Both women looked gorgeous. Goku and Vegeta were both in black tuxes with black ties. Goku's was a bow tie though; he just learned how to tie knots and wanted to show it off on his shoes and his tie. Good for him!
"Now all we have to do is wait for the babysitter," said Bulma happily. Goten ran in to find Trunks sitting in front of the TV playing Zelda on playstation (you know Zelda rox ur sox off!). The doorbell rang again and Chichi opened the door to see a not so jolly green giant standing there in his long white cape, and his other cloths.
"Oh good, your hear Piccolo," said Bulma, "okay, they go to bed at eight. Make sure they eat, brush their teeth, take a bath, and no junk food after seven or you will never get them to sleep. Mirai Trunks will probably be back but don't expect to see much of him. He has Jeanette and about two oz. I hear so he won't be back till around two or three in the morning probably. If you have any questions my number is on the fridge if you forgot it. Trunks doesn't go in my lab for ANYTHING! Not after he killed my lab rats last time. Goten doesn't touch the fridge after he ate everything last time. Mirai Trunks, if he comes back tonight, can't lock that door if Jeanette is over here. Whoriest girl I know and I know why he brings her here so make sure that if she does stay here she stays on the couch or he does I don't care just don't let them behind closed doors together. Not under my roof they wont," she said grumbling the last part.
"Bulma I think he has the idea," said Vegeta.
"Oh if MV comes over be sure to tell him that the GR isn't working till tomorrow. If Mirai decides to leave with him I really don't care but make sure he brings his slut with him. Am I forgetting anything?"
"No," snapped Vegeta, "let's go get this over with."
"Don't let anyone in that liquor cabinet."
"Bulma, come on!"
"No playing with matches."
"Woman!"
"Don't let anyone graffiti anything."
"God damnit Bulma! He knows lets go!"
"No smoking anything in the house or the garage, last time that smell of weed and nicotine wouldn't leave the garage for a week."
"Bulma, dear, we need to go," said Chichi to.
"Oh yea, your right, let's go. By Piccolo, thanks for babysitting." Piccolo, who was to bewildered to catch everything that just happened, was snapped back to reality.
"Wait! Babysit!? You didn't say I was babysitting your kids!"
"Really, you're a sweetheart Piccolo, I don't care what they say," and with that Bulma and the other three shot out the door. Piccolo shook his head. He was tricked to watch a bunch of kids!
…………………………………….
Piccolo had never cooked before. He didn't eat, he needed water and that was it. He looked at the Cookbook for Kindergarteners and the Cooking for Dummies books. He decided to explore the exquisite dish of Mac and Cheese. He pulled a box our and read the directions. He liked the Cookbook for Kindergarteners instructions. The book said to boil the noodles for so long then add cheese that already came with it. Simple enough.
After he made dinner he called the kids down to eat…no response….what? He walked up stares to see what was going on. The hall upstairs was dark. He stepped on a skateboard without realizing and it slipped right under his foot after putting his weight on it. He somersaulted down the steps hitting everyone on the way down. His head slammed on the tile floor and he pulled himself up. He blasted the skateboard to the next dimension. He walked back up and turned to the hall. He walked quickly to the corner but before he could reach it BAM!!
He fell on his back again and looked up to see that Mirai's door was standing wide open. He got up and moved behind it. He turned the corner and saw the light on. He opened the door and stepped in and something heavy and metal landed on his head making a warm liquid drip down all over him. The sound of histarical laugher was heard. Piccolo pulled the bucket off his head and glared at the two children. This only made them laugh harder. Piccolo felt his face grow hot with anger.
"WHAT IS SO FUNNY YOU LITTLE BRATS!?" He looked up at a mirror and saw that he was bright yellow. He felt his face flush. If it weren't for the yellow the bright red would show on his face. He growled with anger. "THAT IS IT!! You may think it's funny but I DON'T! No dinner! Now wash up and get to bed!"
"But it's only 5:30," argued Trunks.
"That's not my problem," said Piccolo coldly. He turned around and left for the bathroom to wash the paint off his face. Trunks glared at his back as the door shut. He wouldn't stand for this outrage! He smiled deviously and looked at Goten who looked to feel very bad for his actions. But one look at his friend and all guilt ceased because he knew the wheels in Trunks's head were turning in very devilish ways.
…………………………
Piccolo relaxed. He was frustrated and needed a nap. He put the kids to bed and laid down on the couch. Trunks ran around like a nutcase with Goten standing and giggling when he tried to get the two to take a bath. When he did finally get it Trunks had screamed out for help. Piccolo being the protective alien he was rushed in only to be greeted with a bucket full of warm soapy water in his eyes.
He jumped back holding his eyes screaming out in pain. Trunks and Goten laughed wickedly as the funny Namik danced around holding his hands up to his eyes crying out.
"It burns us!! IT BURNS US!!" Piccolo shot for the sink and stuck his head underneath running the water over his eyes. When he opened them his eyes were so red there was no white to see. Trunks and Goten were now laughing so hard they couldn't breath. Piccolo stormed out in a fury. If he stayed he would have killed them.
When the two came out Goten asked if Piccolo could open the floss can. Piccolo looked down at the child and would have told him to open it himself but he looked so much like Gohan at the moment, he was innocent looking, like he meant no harm. Piccolo sighed and had grabbed the can. He twisted the top open and suddenly colorful warms popped out at his face freaking him out. "WOMRS!! EW EW EW EW! GET THEM AWAY GOTEN GET THEM AWAY!" Goten grabbed the fake worms and showed them to him. Piccolo was furious. He grabbed Goten and went in after Trunks who had been watching behind the bathroom door snickering now. He drug the two children into the bedroom and shoved them on the bed. "Sleep. Now." He turned to leave.
Little did he know Goten had looked to Trunks who held up the camera. "Oh yea," he said, "I got it." Goten smiled.
"Youtube," he said.
"The fun has only begun. Wait till he sleeps."
"But we are locked up," said Goten disappointedly.
"What, you think my mom never tried locking me in here?" Goten smiled brightly. Trunks was an escape artist. His back up stories were often brilliant but even when they sucked so bad they were caught mid lie, he always found a way out of whatever room he was locked in. The problem was never trying to fool Bulma, she was easy, she would believe almost any story. The challenge was Vegeta. You couldn't get anything past him. Not even Mirai who was really good at jerking the older saiyan around could get away with anything with him and he had many years of practice. But on the occasion they did get away with it Goten had often seen his own life flash before his eyes. Vegeta was not the man to piss of.
Piccolo dozed off finally. Sure that it was safe, both little heathens were locked up with no way out.
……………..(And they were dancin and singin and movin and a groovin')……..
Trunks and Goten both snuck into the house dressed as squirrels with a smoking broken car behind them. "That was a brilliant escape," said Goten, "it was so exciting. You get to do that every time your dad locks you up?"
"Yea, my favorite part is always when the mutant squid shoots missals at me."
"Wow, why such high security?"
"We don't like people breaking into the house," said Trunks taking off his squirrel costume, "so we keep security that is so dangerous that it is a danger to the public and the employees as well as everyone else."
"Wow, that is so cool," said Goten following suite. The two walked back into the house and saw Piccolo fast asleep. Goten set up the camera brilliantly hiding it in plane view were Piccolo would never see it. Trunks put the ear buds in Piccolo's huge sensitive ears. They snuck back upstairs sneaking to Mirai's room. Trunks went over to the CD rack and got the perfect CD. He smiled and grabbed it taking it to his room. Goten followed his friends like the lap dog he really was. Trunks stuck it in the CD player and put it on the UNGODLY LOUD settings and pressed play.
…………..(And just when it hit me somebody turned around and shouted)……
Piccolo jumped up screaming as an unholy loud sound began screaming in his head. It was like the devil was singing in his head so loud his ears began to bleed.
GET UP COME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS
He wailed out in pain rocking back and forth in pain. He ran into the TV knocking it over. He flipped over the couch landing the back of it on the floor. He rolled off and ran into a door. He crashed through to the kitchen and ran his head into some cold water. Electricity ran through his body. He felt the volts jump through his body a few times causing his body to twitch and his bones flashed in and out of visibility. He fell down on the ground happy that the noises stopped. He pulled the ear bubs out and stormed upstairs. He noticed, however, that Mirai's door was open. He eyed it suspiciously. He looked at the clock 2am. He opened the door and saw the most traumatizing sight. A pretty blond girl hanging half off Mirai's bed upside down with Mirai holding her in his lap with his hand around her waist to avoid dropping her. Piccolo closed the door. He didn't think Mirai saw him, he looked a little to busy, and rubbed his eyes. He suspected that was sex. He had never seen anything so uncomfortable looking. She didn't seem to mind his dick in her butt though. (Fun position by the way if you don't mind it in the other end)
He just shook his head, Bulma didn't need to know. He walked down the hall and looked at the door, still locked. He went back downstairs to clean up the mess he made. He saw Bulma, Chichi, Vegeta, and Goku standing in the door way with a look of shock. He stopped in his tracks and backed back up to Mirai's room. He knocked on the door and whispered "I suggest you stop and do that elsewhere, your mom is home." The noise ceased and the sound of rustling, a window opening and shutting. He went down stares to see them wondering now into the disaster that was the living room. Bulma looked at Piccolo with sympathy.
"Get a new babysitter," growled Piccolo. He turned around and left them standing in complete shock.
"GOTEN," shouted Chichi. No response.
"TRUNKS DOWN HERE NOW," hollered Vegeta harshly. The two children peaked around the corner at their impending doom.
Chichi went and grabbed her son by the arm dragging him to the door and turned to her friend. "If you can find a babysitter we should do this next Friday!"
"Oh yea! Let's have Krillin and 18 with us next time."
"Sounds like fun. Let's go," said Chichi dragging her struggling child behind her.
……………………(Play that funky music white boy, play that funky music baby!)
Hope you liked it! Reviews are always appreciated!