Five legends about SG1 that aren't true (at least according to Daniel)
Feedback is always welcome!
Rating: G (maybe a bad word or two)
Category: Team, humor
#1. Thor does not like Jack best. Jack's not the "go-to" guy everyone thinks he is, believe me I know. He wants you to think that, just like he wants you to think that he's Thor's right hand man. Not true. Even if he did get a ship named after him. Thor likes Sam, too, because she's "primitive" enough to blow things up. Like the Jack O'Neill. No surprise there in my opinion. Siler's taking bets on who Thor beams up next and the odds are in my favor. And the ship Thor named after me? Sam didn't blow that one up... yet.
#2. All rumors to the contrary, Sam giggles. No, I mean it. She does. Just because she rides a motorcycle and knows how to handle a P-90, doesn't mean she's not such a "girl" some days. A very normal irritatingly ditzy girl—who giggles—no alcohol required (although it doesn't hurt). There are days I swear her hair color doesn't come out of a box. Oh, and Teal'c laughs. Yeah, that one is kind of hard to believe. Jack can be pretty ditzy some days too (even after his hair color stopped coming out of a box), but don't tell him I said that. I, on the other hand, have never giggled—I don't care what Jack says.
#3. I do not drink too much coffee, nor I am not forgetful. And I do not blush all the time. I drink just as much coffee as the next person—Sam drinks more than I do—just look at all the coffee cups in her lab; I forget things from time to time just like everybody else—but not as much as Jack who's been know to forget where his office is—on purpose; and people on base go out of their way to embarrass me by doing things that would make anyone blush. I so do not need to see people in their underwear (what is it with the military?)—or out of it. Not Vala, not Mitchell. Not even Jack. Teal'c blushes too, you just can't tell.
#4. SG-1 does not save the universe on a regular basis. We have normal boring uneventful missions just like every other team at the SGC. Sometimes we get bored and scratch our collective... heads. Sometimes Sam and I find really cool things to play with--when we're not running away from the bad guys. Sometimes we beat the bad guys. Actually, we beat the bad guys a lot. And we might have saved the world a time or two—okay, maybe we have done that a few times. Teal'c claims he's been keeping track so I guess he'd know. But the red cloak in the 'gateroom with the big "S" on the back was a little much. Unless Jack put it there. In which case it's just damned annoying.
#5. It's not true that we have season's tickets to the infirmary. It's just the saving-the-world-from-the-bad-guys thing takes a toll on the body after a while, especially when the bad guys have ribbon devices. Or snakes. Or plagues. Or alien technology. Hey, Siler ends up in the infirmary all the time and he never leaves the base. The fact that the infirmary has an open bed with my name on it, that doesn't mean anything either. Sam says it's because the nurses like me—which is just embarrassing. And unfair because Sam and Jack end up in the infirmary just as much as I do. Even Teal'c's been there a couple of times. Wait, I'm not sure that's the point I was trying to make.
#6. Despite what you might think, I'm not an immortal. At the moment. I mean I was an Ancient, sort of, but I'm not anymore. They threw me out of the "glow-y" club so that should tell you something right there. Oh, and refer back to the bed with my name on it. I'm human or I wouldn't keep ending up in the infirmary. If anybody on SG1 is even close to immortal it's Teal'c because he used to have "junior" and now he has tretonin. The point is, I'm not immortal. Please don't put this to the test; I don't think I can come back from the dead one more time. If I do, Jack's going to kill me.