"You have to go in there."

"Clary just died, cut him some slack."

"Clary's death hasn't been... easy on any of us, but he's been in his room for the past two weeks, I don't think I've seen him come out of that room unless it's to get some more vodka. I'm not saying he needs to get over it, I'm just saying that someone should go in there and be there for him, and you are his parabatai."

"Fine." I sighed, walking past Izzy and along the corridor to Jace's room.

I gently nudged open the door, not really sure what I was going to see. The room reeked of vodka and there were about 30 bottles of it all around the room, and on the bed, facing the wall, with a half empty bottle in his hand, was Jace.

I walked around the bed to face him.

"Go away" he said, as if he was trying not to cry, his words very slurred.

"How many bottles have you had?" I asked.

"I don't kno- hey what are you doing!?" He replied, as I tried to take the bottle out of his hands. He snatched it back and took two gulps, before I tried again, this time managing to get it out of his hands.

"You should go, I don't deserve this" he said

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I had Clary and look how that turned out."

"That wasn't your fau-"

"But it was I should have been there, I should have done something but I didn't I didn't do fucking anything and I was so fucking useless and now Clary's dead, and if you keep hanging with me, the same thing will happen."

"Jace, no one believes it was your fault."

"But they should."

At this moment I went in to hug him, despite him resisting and held him as he finally broke down and his wall of guilt and self-hatred merged into the one emotion he was truly feeling: grief.

"I just... I just miss her so much." He said in between sobs

"Shhh, I know, I know." I whispered, stroking his hair.

"I wish she was here."

"Shhh, I know, but just try to get some rest." I said, getting up to leave, when Jace's hand suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"Please, don't leave me."

"Ok." I said and lay on the bed, next to him. He was asleep in minutes, his hand still holding mine with his head on my chest. I waited 10 minutes to make sure he was fully asleep, before gently prying his hand out of mine and lifting his head off my chest and putting it back on his bed. Jace shifted a tiny bit, but didn't wake, so I crept out of his room as quietly as I could, and gently shut the door behind me.