A/N: Hey hey, ScienceIsAwesome here, and I'd like to just wish you all a happy New Years! :D. So, this is my New Years gift to you all - a little Tandre story that completely just popped into my mind. It should be pretty short, like, maybe 4 chapters at the most. It's weird, since I wasn't even doing anything relevant to writing or Victorious, I was doing physics homework, lol. This is a change in writing style for me, because I decided to take a friend's suggestion to "show not tell" emotions. Basically, whereas my story False Conclusions focused on the plot mainly, this one focuses on emotions and self-conflict of the main character(s), kind of how my Cabbie story Making Things Right does. So please excuse me if it is not that great, as I usually write for plot. I will try to improve for the future though. Anyways, here it is! Tell me how you like it! :)

Disclaimer: I don't have the rights to the wonderful T.V. show we all know and love...unfortunately.

Elementary Particle - A Victorious Fanfic

Chapter 1 - Regrets of the Past

Staring out through the bedroom window at the clear, cloudless night sky, twenty-two year old Tori Vega breathed a heavy sigh to herself. After all, there was no point in trying to sleep if all that was gonna happen was you simply end up tossing and turning all night, right? No point at all.

Not if she always felt incomplete. Not if he was missing from her life. What was the meaning of life at all, if one felt so unloved? If there was no companion, no one by your side. If you were always so alone.

Alone.

The word echoed in her head every time, like a voice recorder stuck on repeat. Just the thought of the word was always successful in bringing tears to her eyes. As if someone had flicked on a switch.

Perhaps someone had. Perhaps it was something that could have been prevented. Perhaps it was all a misunderstanding that put her into this endless loop of distress that she had suffered from for months now. Perhaps, she was the one who flicked the switch and permanently fixed it into the "on" position. But why? Why did she suddenly bring about change to her perfect life that she had, four years ago? Why was she so adamant on that big of a decision at the time, without even considering what the possible outcomes could bring? Why did she push away the people in her life she so desperately ached for to come back to her, without even thinking for a second how she might end up? Most importantly of all, why did she push him away when there were clear alternatives around it?

The sweetest, most kind, and most caring person she had ever met. And just like that, he was out of her life. He had been for four long, painful years now.

The thought brought endless streams of tears to run down her cheeks, as she desperately tried to wipe them away with the edge of her blanket.

She flicked on her lamp, and picked up a silver bracelet that was resting on her night stand. Holding it in the centre of her palm, she looked at it, hoping the memories it evoked would make her feel a little better, like they usually do.

Only this time, they didn't. They only assisted in drawing tears from her eyes. The one magical charm that she had always relied on for the past four years had finally lost all its abilities.

"Andre," she whispered sadly to herself, as she stared at the bracelet, given to her by Andre four years ago as her eighteenth birthday present. "Why did I push you away?"

The last sentence completely redirected her emotions for a second - just a second - and instead of sadness, guilt, and regret, her feelings suddenly became of anger, hurt and, betrayal. "Do I really mean so little to you Andre? After all I've done for you?!"

The tears briefly stopped as that thought passed through her mind. Surely it wasn't all her fault, right? After all, he was the one who didn't try harder to hold onto her. And didn't that just prove that she wasn't that important to him? That he didn't care if she was in or out of his life? And after all, he has never said the three magical words to her before that would bring a couple to the next stage, and permanently change things for them. He clearly didn't care about her.

The last thought made her ball the hand she held the bracelet with into a fist, and she intended on throwing the bracelet outside the window in a fit of anger. But she could never complete the move.

The anger, hurt, and betrayal were simply attempts to mask her true feelings, to convince herself that it wasn't her fault, and that she made no such mistake. But she could never deny it for long. The sadness, guilt, and regret would always win out not even a minute later.

It was her fault. All of it was her fault.

Andre Harris, her best friend and the guy she loved, was out of her life, and it was due to one selfish decision of hers. Just one. One decision that she would give anything and everything for, just to be able to reverse it. But no matter what it was, she couldn't do anything about it. Time does not give second chances.

"So Tori, have you finally decided what college you're going to?" Robbie asked, as the gang was gathered around, spending their last day together before heading off to college. It was only mid-August, but everyone agreed that it would be a good idea to get used to the place they'd be staying at first, and living away from home, before starting school. And so far, everyone had decided on going to Julliard, each for their own dreams. Andre for singing and songwriting, Beck for acting, Robbie for film-making, Jade for scriptwriting, and Cat for singing. Tori was the only one who had yet to tell everyone her final decision.

"Yeah what do you say, Tori? Are you coming with us to Julliard?" Andre asked with a hopeful look in his eyes, earning nods and similar looks from everyone else.

"I certainly hope not," Jade remarked sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Even though she had become friends with Tori over the years of high school, she still didn't like to admit it.

Tori Vega was slightly afraid to speak, because of what her friends' reactions may be. Even though they were her closest friends, and would certainly understand, she didn't want to disappoint them either, by announcing that she in fact was not gonna be attending Julliard with them, and therefore, would be leaving them for four years.

"Um, I, uhh," began Tori uncomfortably. "I-I will not be attending Julliard." There. She said it.

"What?!" everyone said at the same time, making her jump.

"Why not, Tori?" Andre had asked.

Tori looked at him, a feeling of sadness hit her when she looked into those sad, pleading eyes of his, silently begging her to change her mind. But she had to remind herself, that this was for her future, for herself, not someone else. Besides, Andre was her best friend, and secretly, the guy she was in love with. Surely he'd understand, right?

"Because, because I have decided I want to stay home in the meantime, and attend the University of California. It's more convenient for me."

The sad, hopeful looks everyone had on their face remained, as they took it all in. Their good friend, Tori Vega was not gonna be with them. That would make things so much more different, and would just feel...unnatural.

"But Tori," Andre had said, "it won't be the same without you. What will I do without my best friend?"

Tori gave a knowing look. "I know, and I'm sorry Andre. But I have made my decision, and I want to stay with it. Besides, they have already taken me. We'll just have to cope with it in the meantime, it looks like."

No one made a move, as the shocking revelation was still being denied by every one of them. No one wanted to believe it.

"Tori, we all promised to stay together though, remember?" Andre had desperately tried. "That was one thing we all agreed on. That we'd be there for each other, and that meant staying as a group."

Tori remembered getting slightly irritated at this comment. Did Andre seriously think that she'd just forget about him? She would never do such a thing! She was simply gonna be away from him for four years, that was all. And it was only 4 years. How hard could that be to cope with? They had their entire lives ahead of them to spend together as a group.

"It doesn't mean I won't be there for you guys anymore, don't misunderstand me. It's just, I have my own reasons. Isn't that understandable?" she had said, a little frustrated.

Everyone nodded hesitantly, uttering "of course" or "definitely", but not sounding too sure. Tori remembered taking this the wrong way at the time, and secretly being irritated by her friends' unwillingness to simply just let it go even more. But she managed to keep it to herself, for the sake of her friends, who she know were gonna miss her very much, and didn't want to let her go. It was the next like spoken however, that made her lose it slightly.

"But Tori, we'll miss you too much. I'll miss you too much-" and before Andre could even finish saying whatever he was going to say next, Tori cut him off.

"Look, I said I wasn't gonna abandon you or anyone else here, Andre! All I said was, I was gonna be away from you all for four years. Just four! Isn't that good enough? Can't I have my decisions for my own reasons too? I wouldn't be trying to hold you back from making a decision like that, so why should you? You said it yourself Andre! We are best friends! And best friends understand each other!"

Everyone was slightly taken aback at Tori's reaction to that comment, as she hardly ever, if ever, lashed out over anything. And even though this was only slightly lashing out, it was still surprising.

"Okay Tori, sorry..." Andre had said, awkwardly.

"I gotta go home, I just remembered. I'll see you guys later." And with that, Tori headed home, leaving everyone else behind.

That was the last she's heard from Andre. After that day, she was only focused on her own feelings. Feelings of anger that her best friend hadn't understood her. Feelings that she had been betrayed. Feelings that she was being controlled by the one person she trusted the most.

She had always thought it was ironic how she had felt that way in the past, when now, she blamed no one but herself. There was nothing more in the world she regretted than that decision she made, breaking her away from her closest friends, and Andre. And she most definitely hadn't forgotten about snapping at Andre like that.

How her heart ached every time she was reminded of her behaviour. How she wondered why she did that. How she wished she could have said anything else but that.

But it was all too late now. And she regretted it.

Now, several months after she had gotten out of college, currently pursuing her dream of being a pop star, and achieving slower success than she had hoped, she could go no further. The recent old feelings for Andre and regret about that day had gotten so strong, she had done nothing but stay at home in her little recently-bought house, not too far away from her parents' house, and spend time alone. Not voluntarily, but because she had no choice. Wasn't she the one who opted to leave her friends and her best friend/love that day four years ago? Wasn't she the selfish one who practically accused the person she cared for the most as being selfish to make herself feel better? And wasn't she the one who broke the promise to all her friends that she'd be there for them like they always had been to her?

She was. She was the cause of it all. And it was not worth it, like she had anticipated.

She picked up her phone from the nightstand, and scrolled through the list of contacts she had - Andre Harris, Beck Oliver, Robbie Shapiro, Cat Valentine, and Jade West. Out of all people, she only kept the contact of these five. Five people who she doubted really even wanted anything to do with her anymore. Because she had left them, and didn't even speak to them for the past four years. She had been too ashamed of herself, and too afraid of what they would say to her, if they would say anything.

She stared at the first name on her contacts list, with two hearts after it - Andre Harris. She had often wanted to call him, to say she was sorry, and be friends again, but would always just hover her thumb over the call button, never touching it. Because she knew she had ruined that relationship as well. The best friend she had and would ever have, and the guy she truly loved, and still truly did, who she would give her life for if necessary, who she wanted to spend her life with, was no more.

She sighed to herself for the billionth time. I deserve this, she thinks. I deserve to suffer.

Before she could try to cry herself to sleep however, her Pear phone rings, playing the melody from "You're the Reason." She had especially customized it to that because it reminded her of Andre, and how talented he was. That was the first song he had wrote for her to perform, and she always loved it.

Picking up the phone, she checked the caller I.D. CALL FROM: (213) - 592 – 2851. She furrowed her eyes in confusion. Who was this person?

She answered the phone hesitantly. "Hello?"

"Tori?"

The man's voice sounded so familiar to her, like it was one she had heard many times in her life - an adult version of a voice of someone she knew when she was younger. But she could not piece together who the caller was.

"Who is this?" she asks the mystery man.

"Come open your door and you'll see," the mystery caller replied, making Tori feel a little uncomfortable. Whoever they were, they were at her door. And for all she knew, it could be a robber or a gunman. Opening her door was essentially a real potential danger.

After mentally debating it for a minute, she decided to take the risk. After all, if the man really did want to get her, he could find some way to, regardless of whether he is let in or not, especially since he was already at her door.

Slowly and carefully, she pulled open her door, and peered through the crack, daring to pull the door wider open only slowly. Her eyes grew wide as she saw a familiar-looking male figure, wearing nerdy-looking glasses, and having slightly-curled hair smiling at her.

"Hello Tori," he said.

Tori couldn't believe who she was looking at at the moment. How did he manage to find her again?

"R-Robbie? Robbie Shapiro?" she stuttered.

A/N: So, there's chapter 1 for you! What do you suppose Robbie is doing at Tori's house? Better question - how did he find her again? Wait and see! Well, tell me how you liked it! Review please! :)