When The Walls Break

The fight against Doom had lasted no less than three days, and in those three days Steve and Tony had not seen their baby boy Peter once. Darcy and Loki had been babysitting him so that he would be safe.

Loki had returned to Midgard after serving his punishment and had fallen in love with Darcy the moment that their eyes met. He and Darcy had offered to look after the young child, and though Steve had been hesitant at first Tony and Loki soon convinced him that Peter would be safest with a God and a teaser than with anyone else.

Steve had ignored Tony's request to get himself cleaned up before seeing their beloved child. As soon as he knocked on the door a camera came down from the ceiling, gave him a quick once over before returning to wherever it came from. Before he could ponder the strange device the door opened, revealing Darcy in a flattering white singlet and jeans.

"Hey Cap. I take it that the good guys won." Darcy's voice was strangely quieter than usual.

"Yeah thankfully," Steve matched Darcy's hushed tone. "How was Peter?"

"He was an angel. He and Loki are in the bedroom. The poor thing got scared by the thunder last night so Loki sat up and sang to him all night, because that's what his mother did for him. They were both exhausted so I let them sleep while I cleaned the house." The admiration in Darcy's voice was clear.

"That was sweet of him." Steve smiled at the thought of Loki singing to his son. "May I see him?"

"Do you swear on your life that you won't wake them? Darcy asked in mock sternness.

Steve stood to attention and gave her a salute, "I swear mam!"

Darcy nodded seriously, "Good, dismissed!"

Steve smiled and made his way down the hall to the bedroom. He opened the door carefully and couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips at the sight before him.

Loki lay on his side in a green singlet and dark green silk pants his arms protectively holding the small boy like the precious bundle he was.

Steve approached the sleeping pair silently. Carefully he lifted the god's slim but muscular arm and had to force himself not to drop it back on Peter when Loki jumped and opened his blurry eyes. "Easy Loki, it's just me." Steve whispered.

"Steve…" Loki's voice was slurred with sleep, and when he realized that there was no threat he groaned and rolled over; reclosing his eyes.

Steve slowly lifted Peter into his arms. "Hey buddy. I know you're asleep but I need you to know I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." And with that he pressed a gentle kiss to Peter's forehead. He turned to the god who had watched over his son. Steve smile once more seeing that Loki appeared asleep. "Goodnight Loki."

Steve started towards the door, Peter firmly in his arms, when a small sound stopped him in his tracks. It was so quiet Steve wasn't sure he had heard it. Standing still he listened…and then there it was again. A small sniff…a gasped breath…a crying soul.

Loki clasped his hand over his mouth as the sobs rocked his body and threatened to break him. He hated crying. It was a sign of weakness and Loki had learned long ago that weakness was something that he simply couldn't afford.

Once he heard the door softly close he allowed the tears and sobs to flow freely. His breath hitched repeatedly and his breaths came in shallow gasps. Try as he might to control his breathing and stop the tears it simply wouldn't happen.

Steve voice had been so gentle, so sincere, as he spoke to Peter and Loki couldn't help but feel envy towards the small boy. Peter was being raised by two men who loved him unconditionally and even though he hadn't heard those words Loki knew that Steve and Tony took every opportunity to remind him of their love.

Had Odin ever said such words to me? The thought brought new tears to Loki's eyes. He knew the answer was no. He had heard Odin tell Thor how proud he was and how much love he held towards him often enough but when it came to Loki…there was nothing.

Loki racked his brain for anything that his father may have said that was meant to show him love. He thought about his childhood. His father had not shown any interest towards his magic despite how advanced it was. He remembered clearly the only words of encouragement that he had received: 'Nice tricks Loki, but you should be practicing your sword handling, maybe you can ask Thor for help.'

He thought to when he trained in the arena with Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three. On the rare occasion that Odin would watch Loki would try desperately to get his attention that was always consumed by Thor. He remembered the first real words of encouragement he got from Odin: 'That's the way Loki! Your finally getting somewhere with those throwing knives.'

Loki thought of the day that his world had shattered. He was so blinded with grief and rage over discovering the truth that maybe he had overlooked. Only one thing came to mind: 'you're my son…I wanted only to protect you from the truth.'

It wasn't much but those short moments were all he had. That was something that Thor would never quite understand. Thor had basked in the light of Odin's love and pride. Whereas Loki was forever waiting in the shadows, praying that maybe…just maybe…if he waited there long enough the light would reach him and he would be warmed by the love he so desperately craved. Those small moments were the ones that he held onto and kept in his heart.

He was still crying when he heard the door being open. Loki fought to gain control over himself once more as he glanced up to see Steve slowly walking towards him. He felt shame flood his body.

Steve had never seen Loki look so fragile and broken. Not when he was defeated in New York, not when his powers were stripped from him, not when he returned after his punishment. He had also never seen Loki cry. Not when he was being attacked by his enemy's, not when he thought that Thor had died not even when he thought that he himself was on the verge of death.

Steve knew that Loki suffered, but Loki was the type who suffered in silence. He refused help and he refused to show his pain. Loki chose to instead hide behind a wall of lies and smirks.

Steve had always thought that he was just afraid to show weakness. But now here he was. Openly crying. Loki's walls had broken.

As Steve approached him he feared that Loki would reject his offered help like he had on so many occasions. Steve sat himself on the side of the bed and gently placed his hand on Loki's shoulder and rolled him over so that he was able to look into his tear soaked eyes.

Loki's eyes were full of annoyance and shame when his met Steve's pity filled ones. "Save you pity for someone who deserves it!" Loki managed to get out around the sobs as he pushed Steve's hand off and sat up. His shoulders slumped and shook despite himself.

Steve shook his head. "Loki you're in pain, please, let me help you."

Loki's eyes searched Steve's face but found no signs of deceit. Steve watched as the last of Loki's walls crumbled and with them…Loki. Reaching out a gentle hand Steve pulled Loki into an embrace and to both his surprise and relief Loki wrapped his arms around Steve's waist and buried his face in the side of his neck. Letting go of his pride Loki allowed the tears to spill freely once more.

Steve rubbed Loki's back as he cried. The two sat like that until Loki simply couldn't cry anymore. Once he had settled down Steve pulled back so that Loki's head was resting against his broad shoulder. Looking into Loki's dark green eyes Steve slowly asked the question that had been biting him. "Loki, what…why were you...what got you like this?"

Loki sighed. "It was what you said to Peter. Or more the way that you said it, you were so kind and loving and…gentle. I know it's pathetic but I just wished that my…well Odin, had treat me like that. Peter is so lucky to have you and Tony. He must feel so loved and important. I guess I just wished I knew what that felt like."

"Loki you are so far from pathetic! I know that Odin wasn't the best father but never think that you're not loved and appreciated. Thor and Darcy love you more than you could possibly know. And you are such an important part of all of our lives." Steve smiled at Loki. "Never doubt that."

Loki and Steve never spoke of that night. But Steve never forgot what was shared that night. Any time that Steve could see Loki's doubts in his eyes Steve would make sure that he reassured him.

Yes, Loki was definitely a silent sufferer. He hid behind a wall of lies and smirks. But that wall had cracks. And every now and then those cracks caused the wall to break. But for first time in a long time Loki wasn't afraid to show his weakness. Because he knew that when he needed support Steve would be there. To hold him as he cried and whisper the reassurances he knew Loki needed.

A/N so there you go! again i own nothing, please feel free to review