A/N: So this is the first angst fic of SWAC I've ever done, and it feels kind of strange. Inspiration comes at the oddest times, I was brushing my hair and thought, "I wonder if Sonny would ever feel imperfect?" And this was born.
Disclaimer: Seriously? You know the drill by now, I say I don't own SWAC and you guys laugh at me.
She looked in the mirror, trying to see past the flaws. She closed her eyes, and reopened them.
They were still there. They were always there.
Her ugly smile, fat body, the frown she hid from everybody, proof of the many mistakes.
They were always there.
She shook her head. It's no wonder he doesn't love you. Why would he? That voice. His voice. The voice that is the reason for so many tears.
There is nothing wrong with me.
Quit fooling yourself, there is everything wrong with you. You are the farthest thing from perfect, and someone like him expects no less. You're disgusting, and unwanted. Learn that lesson little girl.
Little girl…
Give up.
You're nothing. Stupid. Ugly. Fat. Worthless. Obnoxious. You think he would look twice at you? That anyone would look twice at you? Give. Up.
She closed her eyes. Imperfect. Unwanted.
Imperfect.
Unwanted.
How could she ever forget, with her own constant reminder?
He said I had pretty hair…
The voice, his voice, her fathers voice, laughed. He lied. There is nothing pretty about you. Why would a star, Chad Dylan Cooper, want you? Would ever want you?
She sighed. She was so tired. Hollywood's pressure weighing down her shoulders, pushing her to be perfect among the many successful, beautiful people in this city.
She smiled in the mirror, to her own eyes she could tell it was fake. Why could no one else?
Because they don't care, little girl.
She sucked in a breath, and ran a brush through her dull brown hair, straightened her clothes, and looked at herself. Grimacing at every imperfection
(Imperfect)
she found.
A knock at the door signaled her to get off her fat butt and answer it. She cleared her throat quietly, and put on a small smile prone to fool
(Unwanted)
everyone but herself. She opened her door, and staring back at her were the blue eyes she sees everywhere. She made her smile bigger.
"Hey, Chad. Why are you over here?"
He shrugged and pushed past her, and hit his palm with a magazine she didn't notice he was holding. He looked down at it then smirked at her. "Just thought I would come over and show you this." He held up the magazine so she could see the cover. And her heart almost stopped.
"Sonny Monroe, and Chad Dylan Cooper: Hollywood's new It couple?"
She cleared her throat, and acted indifferent. "So? Tween weekly spews lies all the time."
He chuckled in the way that both infuriated her, and made her weak at the knees. "I just wanted to show you before you got any silly ideas."
She acted as if her heart didn't just clench tightly behind her rib cage, and rolled her eyes. "As if, Chad. I would never want to be your girlfriend,"
Lie.
"I'm not attracted to arrogance and irritants."
Not unless it's you.
Something flashed in his eyes then was gone in an instant, his cocky grin returning full force. "Keep telling yourself that, Monroe. And the feeling is mutual. Randoms aren't my taste, especially loud,"
She didn't even blink.
"Annoying,"
She folded her arms, ignoring the feeling in her stomach.
"Small-town girls like you. Why would I when I can have any girl?" He stepped closer, and despite her chipped heart, her breath still hitched. He started counting off on his fingers. "The perfect Hudgens,"
Perfect.
"Beautiful Tisdale,"
Beautiful.
"Alluring, smart Cyrus?"
She swallowed and clenched her teeth.
"Even the perfect, beautiful, smart, alluring Gomez."
Perfect.
Beautiful.
Smart.
Alluring.
Everything she wasn't.
"Why would I want a girl like you?"
Unwanted.
They always had conversations like this, but for some reason this one hurt worse. Usually she would pretend to get angry, yell and scream at him how arrogant and heartless he was, and then storm out of her own dressing room.
She was so tired. So tired of being imperfect. So instead of all that, she just smiled slightly, and said quietly and politely, "You're right."
She didn't get any pleasure in seeing the smirk fall of his face, and a shocked expression take its place. She grabbed his arm, and led him out of the room, feeling his eyes drill into her. When she got him outside the door, she stepped back in, and he was still looking at her in shock, with a bit of confusion mixed in, and something else she couldn't tell.
She smiled a small smile, a sad smile that she couldn't hide, and closed the door softly.
She walked back to the mirror.
I told you, little girl. Imperfect, Unwanted. That will always be you. Don't fool yourself little girl.
You are nothing.
Nothing, little girl.
So…
Yeah.
Reviews are nice.
And appreciated.
Hope you liked it.
Soho