Not without you
DISCLAIMER!
I am not stephenie meyer and in no way trying to pretend i am her. all characters are created by her!! and this goes for all chapters!!
What would happen if Edward never came back and Bella was transformed into a vampire by Helena, who saw much potential in Bella? Could Bella finally move on? Would Edward and Bella be reunited?
"Hello Bella. How was hunting?" Helena, my creator, greeted me.
"Fine" I replied.
"I still don't see how you restrain yourself and only hunt animals. It doesn't make sense." She has been telling me this for the past 2 years that I have been a vampire. A vegetarian diet wasn't hard for me. It came naturally. Plus that was the way Edward hunted. I would never tell Helena this though.
"It's easy for me" I said. We were now back at our house in Forks, Washington. This was the last place I wanted to live but it was perfect weather conditions for us and we were close to many cities where Helena could hunt. I went up to my bedroom and shut the door. I went over to my dresser and opened the top drawer. There lay a picture of me and Edward from a happier time, when I was human and he still loved me. It always made me smile seeing this picture but then a rush of sadness and loss would rush over me. It had been three years since he had left me. 2 since I've become a vampire. It was hard living without him. I still loved him and I always would love him. He was a part of me whether he was here or not. I wished I could sleep, wished I could dream of a happy time when love was simple. No our love was never simple. But it was easy at times. But it was also chaotic and wild and dangerous and maybe just maybe I liked that about our relationship. Everything didn't add up to the perfect equation, nothing ever did. But that was the fun of life, never knowing exactly how things will end. Even knowing this I still wanted him back and I was sick of this, sick of living my life without him. I couldn't do it anymore. I walked over to my computer turned it on and clicked on the internet browser. I was going to find him. One way or another. Maybe he would take me back now that I was stronger and he wouldn't have to protect me all the time. Maybe he would love me again. Oh who am I kidding? That would never happen. But I had to try. I knew that my best chance of finding them was searching Carlisle so I could see if he was working at a hospital. I typed 'Carlisle Cullen' into the Google search engine and got over 3,000 results. Mainly about random people who I don't know. Finally I found it. , Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I clicked on the link. And waited for it to load. It listed a full history of his work places. But I knew those weren't all the places he had worked at. The most recent was the Alaskan children's hospital. Alaska. I can't believe it. I found him. All I could do is hope and pray that this information was accurate. I wrote down the address of the hospital, afraid that if I called it would give them a chance to leave, and headed out of my bedroom and ran to the front door.
"Where are you going?" Helena asked me.
"Alaska" I replied and without further explanation I was out the door running at an inhuman pace threw the forest. I was going to see him. I had to see him. It had been too long and I needed him back. I was not capable of living…not without him
Edward POV
"For the last time Alice, no. I'm not coming home." I was getting very aggravated with her. She asked me to please come home almost every day. But I couldn't go home, not like this. Not when Bella is still in every thought of mine. I wish I had never left. I wish I could have taken her with me…I wish…
"Fine. You'll come home soon though. I just know it" she said happily. She had a vision. Great. I really didn't want to know what exactly would bring me home and I didn't care. Home had no meaning without her, without Bella. It had been three years since I left her, two since she passed away. That killed me more than anything. Wasn't my whole point of leaving to protect her? And then she dies! I couldn't live in a world where she didn't exist. I just couldn't. When I heard the news of her death I went to the Volturi to beg that they kill me, they wouldn't. So I tried to expose myself in the sun but Alice saw that coming. She stopped me. And now it was back to sleepless nights running around the continental U.S. It was as if I had died too when Bella had. She always believed I had a soul. Maybe she was right, maybe my soul was hers, like she said hers was mine the day I left. The memory of that day made me twinge. I remembered Alice on the phone.
"Fine. Bye Alice" and I flipped my phone shut. I loved Bella. I always have and always will. When I told her I didn't want her it was all a lie. I couldn't believe it that she actually believed me though. Hadn't she heard me all the countless times I told her I loved her? That I needed her? That I could never leave? And all it took was "I don't want you to come with me" and she believed I didn't love her? That I didn't need her? I never thought in a million years it'd be that easy to convince her. It hurt to think about that. So I took off running again. Forgetting my family, my past, Bella's death, and just running, not stopping, I just kept on running. Running away from my family, my past and Bella's memories. Trying to forget them all, I knew it was pointless but I kept running. Not stopping for anything.
Bella POV
When I finally arrived at the Alaskan children's hospital, I walked in and went to the receptionist desk.
"Hello. How can I help you?" said the young receptionist. She was probably somewhere in her early twenties. She was very pretty though she had long dark black hair that was in big curls and she wore a light pink tank top and jeans.
"Hello. Is Carlisle Cullen working today?" I asked sweetly.
"uhm…Let me check" she said and she looked at her computer screen.
"Yes he is. Would you like me to page him?" she asked
"yes please"
"your name?" she asked
"Bella."
"hello. Yes its Ava. Someone is here to see you, her name is Bella" she said into the phone
"Okay he'll be right down." she said to me. "you can feel free to take a seat in the waiting area over there"
"okay thank you very much" I said and walked over to the waiting area and sat down. moments later I saw Carlisle come down the stairs looking very confused.
"Carlisle! I'm so glad to see you!" I said as I jumped out of the chair and ran over to him.
"Bella? Is that you?"
"Yes. It's me" I said. Now I was confused. Who else would it be?
"Would u like to talk in my office? Its more private and I have a feelings we won't want anyone over hearing this conversation" he said in a whisper that was only audible to me
"Sure." I said and followed him down the hall and into his office. He leaned against his desk and looked at me.
"You're alive." He said.
"Yes. You thought I was dead?" I asked
"Yes we all did Bella. We heard of your death. We all have thought you were dead for two years. What happened" he asked sitting down
"Well I'm not dead." I said. Where should I start? With jumping off the cliff? With the motorcycles? When Helena found me? I felt like an intruder to this world, To the Cullen's world. Edward never wanted me to be a vampire and now I was.
"yes, I can see that. You're not human either."
"no I'm not." I said And his phone started ringing.
"I'm sorry I have to take this." He said picking up the phone
"Hello? Yes I will be right there" he said into the phone.
"I'm so sorry Bella there's an emergency with one of my patients. Would you like to wait here? I get off of work in 2 hours. Then we can talk." He said to me
"sure." I said. He looked like there was something else he wanted to say but was afraid to "what is it?" I asked him
"Well if you could refrain from hunting here, especially in the hospital I'd appreciate it." He said
"Are there animals in this hospital?" I asked
"No, only humans" he said confused
"Well then you don't have to worry." He seemed to understand
"Ah, I see. Okay well I'll be back later" he said as he walked out the door. I looked around his office. i looked at the pictures on his desk. One was of him and Esme. Another of his 'children' and one of the whole family. They were taken fairly recently I guessed. I checked the date on the back of the picture. 3 months ago. And then I noticed that Edward wasn't there. He wasn't in the picture. Wasn't he with his family? And then I noticed that in the frame of the picture with his 'children' there was another picture, behind it. I took it out to look at it. It was me and Edward. It was a picture of us going to prom. Edward looked happy and so did I. it was hard to look at this picture, from a time when I was happy when me and Edward were still together, when he still loved me. It never made sense for him to love me. I guess more time had passed then I thought because I was still staring at the picture of me and Edward when Carlisle walked in.
"Hello Bella" he said "Ah I see you found that picture" he smiled at me.
"Yeah…why isn't he in the other ones you have?" I asked
"Because he's not living with us anymore. He hasn't been home in a long time." He said sadly
"why not? Where is he?"
"He's someone north of us, in Canada were guessing. He hasn't been the same since we left. He doesn't like being around people, and would rather be all alone then to be around us because he knows how it hurts us to see him so upset. But we want him to come home we all miss him" he said
"Oh. Why's he so upset?" and he chuckled
"You have to ask? He's upset because he lost you, it became worse when he thought you had passed away."
"Really?" I asked surprised
"Yes Bella. In about 100 years he has never been as happy as when he was with you."
"Oh" I was speechless. I couldn't believe it. He left me though! Not the other way around!
"Would you like to come to our home? I'm sure everyone will be thrilled to see you and I would like to know what happened"
"Sure I miss everyone so much" I said
"okay come on then." And he led the way and ounce we were in the protection of the forest we started running. We got to his house in less than 5 minutes and when we walked in the door everyone looked at me with confusion except for Alice who was already hugging me.
"Bella! It's so good to see you! I missed you so much!" Alice said. And everyone looked even more confused when she said my name.
"I've missed you too Alice" I said with a giggle. Carlisle was over at Esme's side with one arm wrapped around her.
"Hi everyone. Well as you can see Bella did not die." Carlisle said
"I knew you were coming! I stopped looking for your future because Edward didn't want me to but I saw you coming today! I was actually talking to Edward earlier. I told him he would be coming home soon. And I was right! He's on his way. He doesn't know you're here yet though. He was just curious as to why he would be coming home." Alice said
"Hi Bella. It's so nice to see you" Esme said as she gave me a hug
"It's good to see you too" I said. And after I said hello to everyone else it was time to talk. We all sat down in the family room, Carlisle and Esme on one couch holding hands, Rosalie was on Emmett's lap and Alice and jasper sat next to each other hand in hand.
"So Bella tell me how you got changed" Carlisle began
"I can only remember bits and pieces of the actual process, but a vampire name Helena changed me. I, well, er was in critical health and Helena is able to know someone's gift. I guess she saw potential in me, at least that's what she told me, It was two and a half years ago that it happened and two years ago, as you know, I was claimed to be dead. I now live with Helena in Forks. She survives off human blood though. We Have to move around a lot." I explained
"wait you don't survive off of humans?" jasper said
"No. I only hunt animals" I said and I could see the shock on jaspers face. He had always had trouble with the Cullen's diet so it must be hard knowing that I was able to adapt.
"How could you get that much control? You live with a lady who hunts humans how did you learn to control yourself?" asked jasper
"I'm not really sure. Helena says that one of my talents is the ability of self control. Hunting animals was just what I did. I didn't have to think twice about it." I said
"wow. That's incredible. And you said only one of your talents? Do you have others?" Carlisle asked
"Well as you know Edward could never read my mind, so Helena believes that I am able to shield things that affect me mentally. Because both Alice and Jasper's powers work with me." I didn't think I was talented. Not like Alice or Edward or Jasper.
"Edward will be here in 20 minutes" Alice said happily. "But I do want to talk to you Bella…alone" she said.
"Okay."
"Come with me Bella we can go for a run" Alice said and I followed her we ran a few miles until we came to a place to sit down and talk.
"What do you need to talk about Alice?" I said
"Why did I see you jump off a cliff Bella? How could you do that! When I said I wasn't looking for you I wasn't lying I really wasn't searching the future for you. But I'm so in tune to you its hard not to see you sometimes. I saw you jump but I didn't see the ending, Edward interrupted me and got mad that I saw you. Why did you jump off the cliff?" this was the last thing I wanted to explain to anyone right now.
"Alice I didn't do it to kill myself. I was cliff diving. I was supposed to go with Jacob black but he umm… had to do something." I said I didn't know if I should tell her that Jacobs a werewolf or not.
"Okay. Is that when you were changed?" she asked
"yes."
"you haven't been doing well Bella. I can sense that. Jasper could tell. I can read jasper so easily sometimes but I can also tell that you haven't been the same since we left."
"No I haven't. Its been hard." I said sadly
"Yeah it has on us too." She said
"should I leave? Before Edward gets here?" I asked. I didn't want to leave but maybe it would be better if I did.
"No! you just got here, Of course not. You're the reason he's coming home he just doesn't know it yet!"
"But Alice he doesn't want me. So he probably won't want to see me"
"Bella he loves you. Trust me. He does and he'll be thrilled that you're here"
"Okay…but please don't tell him about the cliff diving…or motorcycles"
"what motorcycles?!"
"Oh …er I thought you already knew about that. It's nothing, just me and Jake having some fun" I laughed nervously.
"Bella what are we going to do with you." She said as she took off running towards her house. When we got there Edward was in the family room sitting on the lounge chair looking somewhat annoyed as the rest of the Cullen's looked at him with anxious smiles. I guess they were blocking him out of their head. So maybe he didn't know I was here yet. I couldn't decide if this was good or bad. This way he wouldn't have a chance to run out of the country but maybe he would anyway. He looked at me then, I was standing awkwardly at the doorway. He looked at me for a long moment then to Alice then back to me.
"Alice…what did you do?" he asked still staring at me. I couldn't figure out if he knew it was me or not.
"Nothing, Edward. She found us I was simply out talking to her about something."
"Bella?" he whispered my name softly
"Yes?" I said. He looked at me the way a one person might looked at their dead lover, with despair and sadness in his eyes.
"I cant believe it" he said
"Lets give them some time to catch up" Carlisle said and everyone walked out of the room. When they were all out I went and sat on the sofa.
"Who changed you Bella? And why?"
"Her name is Helena. She is able to see what a person's talent would be. I was in…well…er…critical health and she saw potential in me. So she changed me."
"What happened that put you in this critical health?" he asked me but before I could answer Alice popped in the room.
"Bella's into extreme sports these days Edward" and I could see that she was showing him her vision and telling him about the talk we had in the woods.
"Thanks Alice!" I said sarcastically
"Anytime!" she said as she skipped out of the room. Edward turned to me with a disapproving glance. I forced a nervous smile.
"How could you do something so reckless and stupid? What was going through your head Bella?"
"You were." I mumbled.
"What?"
"Nothing." I said "Listen if you don't want me here Edward I'll leave"
"Bella of course I want you here, you don't know how much I missed you." And then he was kissing me. He kissed me with so much passion and romance and love i thought my head would explode. I couldn't handle this. I shouldn't let him kiss me. It would hurt so much when he left. But I couldn't think straight I couldn't concentrate enough to push him off of me. So I gave up. I kissed him back with as much passion and romance and love as I could luster. I kissed him back and he kissed me. This was so much better then I remember it. So much better now than when I was human. Finally he pulled away to look at me.
"I love you" he whispered
"I love you too" I said back. And we were kissing again and it didn't matter that his family was upstairs or that he left and that I was a vampire now. I didn't care about anything but being with him even if it was for a short time. I could go to the Volturi when he left again. It was worth it.
Authors note!
Okay so this is my very first fan fiction and i really hope you liked it! id really appreciate reviews and im working hard on chapter two. should be up in the next week or so! so please review!!!
-- lovexalways 3