My Father's Son

One-Shot AkiHika Hikaru left years ago. Akira now gets a visitor at his father's go salon that is a vision from the past...the distant past..."Shindou?"

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I have had this idea for the longest time. And now I'll pass it on to you in a probably not very good story. The little Hikaru in this is so understanding, don't we all want kids like this? -smile-

The chime above the door chimed and Akira Touya sighed. Back when Hikaru had first been moved away to America and away from the go world, Akira had looked up every time he heard that chime, hoping that the boy with bleached bangs would return. But after the first year, Akira's mind had registered that Hikaru wouldn't be coming back. But his heart refused to believe that. That's why he still sighed whenever the door chimed, admitting another stranger into this go salon.

He still sat at the table reserved for him and Hikaru Shindou. Usually, he would replay their games or give teaching games to other patrons. Other times, he had pro games and would come here afterwards, just to sit and stare and hope futilely that he would be approached by a 20 year old man for a game.

Still, that was silly in and of itself. Shindou was no more twenty years old than he was. Shindou was probably almost to his 40th birthday, Akira's was in two weeks. But he was sure that Hikaru Shindou, no matter what age, would look exactly the same as he remembered him.

Akira was currently staring blankly at the go board in front of him, completely lost in his thoughts. On the board was a half finished game, something him and Shindou used to play. He was gently pulled out of his thoughts and memories by a familiar voice. A voice that shouldn't sound like that anymore.

"Touya?" The voice of a young boy. "Touya Akira?"

He turned green eyes on the person standing next to him. Those same eyes widened in shock at the person there.

"Shindou?" he asked.

Yes, standing there was Shindou Hikaru...but...No. Akira's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"No. You are not Shindou." he said softly, and the boy before him smiled widely, grasping the straps of his book bag. "You are only a boy, and Shindou is now a man. And Shindou would never return here."

"Ah, don't say that Touya-san." the boy gave a low chuckle and removed his book bag, taking the seat across from Akira and slowly removing the stones from the board. "I may not be Shindou Hikaru, but I am a Shindou."

Touya watched him clear the black stones from the board, and then carefully removed the white stones himself. If this boy was a Shindou, then he was related to Hikaru in some way. As far as Akira knew, Hikaru had no siblings...So this boy was...

"My name is Shindou Akira." the boy introduced. "Dad always told me that I was named after a great man." he laughed. "Nice to meet you, Touya Akira-san."

Akira watched the boy warily as the Hikaru-look-alike took a handful of stones and hid them under his hand on the go board. Akira took out two stones from his own goban and watched as Shindou parted the stones and counted. Akira took white.

"You say father would never come here...But he wanted to, even if he couldn't." Akira Shindou assured him. "He always said that he had the most fun here. He said he liked it here because his greatest opponent was here, his best friend."

Akira lowered his head. Shindou had thought of him as a friend? (From now on, Akira is Akira Touya, Shindou is Akira Shindou, and Hikaru is Hikaru Shindou, so as not to confuse other people.) How is that possible?

"Actually, dad told me one day, when I was little, that he thought of you as more than a friend." Shindou revealed with a blush. "The day I told him I was...funny that way...He revealed the reason he wouldn't come back to Tokyo."

"The reason?" Akira was interested now, even as they started to play a game.

"He was taken away because of his father's new job in America. He stayed away because he didn't want to jeopardize his family. They eventually moved back to Japan, or at least...Grandma and dad did. Grandma and Grandpa got divorced and dad moved back to Japan with grandma. He met Mom in college, and they moved to Soporo after they married, right after college." Shindou seemed a bit strained as he spoke, but his tone lightened as the game continued.

Akira noticed with some satisfaction that Shindou was better than his father was when they were both 12. Hikaru had probably taught him.

"Dad said I was born when he was 28, almost 4 years after him and mom got married." Shindou continued. "He encouraged me to do my studies and learn go. I actually enjoy both of them, school and go, because of the way he taught me. Everything was always fun with dad."

Something suddenly hit Akira like a bag of rocks. Fear ached in his stomach. It gripped his heart.

"You're referring to him...in the past tense." Akira commented as he placed a stone on the board and captured 4 stones.

"Yea. I know." Shindou's voice became softer and the fear in Akira grew. "You see...Dad died about a week ago. The funeral's in two days."

Akira couldn't breathe. He dropped the stone in his hand and it clattered to the floor. He gripped his shirt over where he heart would be and hid his face with his hair. It was a bit longer than it had been last time he'd seen Hikaru, so it worked. Shindou watched his reaction with a calculated gaze. Then the younger boy spoke.

"Dad told me to never come here. He didn't want you to know I existed." he explained. "He told me once 'It'd hurt me to know he had gotten married, that he had had kids. So I don't want him to know that I did the same. It almost feels like a betrayal to him...somehow.' At first, I thought I shouldn't have been born, because dad seemed so sad. But I knew that wasn't what he had meant, and I got over it." Shindou looked away. "Here I am, blowing all of his secrets and talking so much. What do you think of it all?"

Akira didn't move from the position he'd fallen into. He was still slouched over in his chair. For a full minute, Shindou waited with antsy patience for the older man to speak. Then Akira's whispered answer reached him.

"I don't think this is the place for such a talk." the words were forced out and Akira stood slowly, leading Shindou out of the Go salon and down the street until they reached the park. "This is better."

Shindou Akira sat on a swing next to Touya Akira and waited for more talking. He'd done enough of that for now.

"I don't mind how much you talk. It's nice to know what Shindou was doing after he left." Akira told him. "It just...brings up memories of your...your father." he gave the younger Shindou a withering smile. "I almost wish I'd realized it sooner."

"Realized?" Shindou asked, and Akira turned away to look at the ground. Shindou paused and blinked at the death grip Akira had on the swing's chains. He was shaking badly.

"I never thought of your father as a friend." his voice was shaking too. "He was my enemy, my constant obstacle to pass, my rival. We were never friends."

Shindou looked down at the ground in front of Akira when a tear hit the ground.

"Only after he was gone did I realize...Only then did I realize and come to terms with the way I felt. And I knew I'd be the last Touya."

More tears hit the ground and Shindou understood.

"You were never going to marry. Your parents hardly expected you too. They just wanted you to play Go. So there was never any stress to have kids...Dad's parents weren't the same. Grandpa didn't mind much, but Grandma wanted grandkids. Dad was put under a lot of pressure, and he married a friend from when he was my age...Akari."

Akira knew that name. Hikaru had said it before. But he didn't really know the girl at all personally. Now though, he may want to meet her. Not for much though, knowing that Akira had feelings for her husband might not be a good shock to her.

"Dad gave me this before he died. He told me it was about someone important...Something about a promise he made to you." Shindou held out an envelope he'd taken from his book bag and held it out for Akira to take.

He took it with a shaky hand and read on the front of the envelope.

"I said someday"

Akira's shaking got worse. Hikaru was keeping his promise even though he was dead...He carefully opened the letter and read all Hikaru had to say. It was a long letter, over two pages long; full of apologies and explanations. Sai being a ghost seemed farfetched, but how could he deny the facts when there was no one to argue to?

"I should be getting home soon. I have to take a bus and a taxi to get there...But I thought you might want to know about dad." Akira Shindou stood from his seat. "You're invited to the funeral, but you don't have to come. I'm sure he'd like you too though."

Shindou was almost out of the small park when he stopped and turned around.

"Oh yea, Touya-san?"

Akira looked up at him slowly, staring at the boy. Shindou Akira grinned.

"I'll be an insei next year, and soon I'll take the pro test too. So I'll be your next rival!" he laughed and Akira couldn't help but smile.

"Just like his father." Akira stood and folded the letter, sticking it in his pocket for later and walking up to Shindou. "I'll walk you to the bus stop."

They were at the bus stop, waiting for the bus, before another fact hit Akira suddenly like a bag of rocks.

"Shindou...?" he started, and Hikaru's son looked up at him. "You said you're dad had you because your grandma wanted grandkids, right?" A nod was the response.

"I don't have to worry about carrying on the family name. I have a little sister. Hikari is a independent person, and she'll make her husband take the Shindou name if it kills her." he laughed. "I'll see you again, Touya-san." he waved as he hopped on the bus with the rest of the passengers.

With that, Akira Touya watched his link to the past ride away. But it wasn't all bad. He'd learned some things. There may not have been any hope for a relationship, but all these years...

"I loved you too." he whispered, and he heard a voice other than his say it at the same time. It was Hikaru's voice. A solitary tear slid down his face and Akira gave a sad smile before heading home. He had a lot to do to prepare himself for the emotions he'd feel at that funeral.

I have just realized that this story is one big scene...