Silent Explanation

of Methos, to Duncan, past the crisis of the Horsemen (unspoken)

by Aislynn

Credits for beta reading and the closing stanza to Shomeret


Did you kill all those people?

He asked me, hoped I would deny

Hoped me to make it go away

So we might heal again

Perhaps he even hoped I'd lie...

When I spoke truth he could not bear

It all.


We're through

My fall

From grace


He tried to hear, to understand

He hoped for me to explain

So he might be my friend again

He hoped, he could

(I wished he would...)

But how?


Forfeit

My fall

From grace

Again

At all


Is what she said true?

And here I am. My Highlander,

How could you ever understand?

Grey clouds that hampered your heart

And one millennium of midnight

That has torn mine apart


You came to me to hear the truth

Only there was no time

And even if I told you all

It would not matter

Could not matter

For your truth is not mine


Yes, your truth is not mine....


Those mortals you use to protect

Innocents you call them all

I know better

I saw some like them

Kill the few ones I loved

I was their slave, their demon, too

Long before I chose to act

To make that name come true

To make their fear a fact

Their hatred and stupidity

I bore it two millennia

And it killed me


Killed me


They taught me nightmares,

Taught me fear

Taught me to fear the dawn

Until I chose to be their death

For centuries to come



And so, as the demon they summoned

Death on a Horse was born

At last, they got what they conjured

And I reveled in their spilled blood

For a thousand years

We ruled!

Terror and hate

Power and wealth

Killing and doom

Freedom


Freedom of fear

Freedom to kill

Freedom to be despised...

That was the way I paid their bill

Avenged what they made rise



And so I did for a thousand years

Until one day I woke

And understood what I'd become

And left, beyond all hope

To be redeemed again...


My fall

From grace


And here I am. My Highlander,

How could you ever understand?

Grey clouds that hampered your heart

And a thousand years of midnight

That have torn mine apart


One of a thousand regrets, MacLeod, one of a thousand regrets

Your friendship now so lost to me

And still I can't restrain

Myself from seeking you out again

Because there still remain

What entangles our destiny

For you will be the One

You'll be the dusk, my Highlander

And I have been the dawn.



And so one day what has to be

Will finally occur

When I'll give you my head at last

The Gathering will surely come

With my power you'll endure.



There can be only one...

The last one of our kind

And I wish that one shall be you

The last one who remains



And you'll give the world a new dawn

You'll use the prize for everyone

So I will be redeemed at last

And will find freedom from my past

And you will be my legacy

To this mortal worlds destiny

The destiny of man


For I will be the dusk of us

And you will be the dawn

When my dusk falls

At last to dust

Your dawn will write my name

With crimson fingers

In immortal fire


Melting into your flame

written by Aislynn, 1998, after an inspiration by a line of the story "Surrender" of Elizabeth Butler:

"Oh, love. If you can't accept a few grey clouds in your own heart, you'd never understand the centuries of midnight in mine."

The poem was beta read by Shomeret, who is responsible for the beautiful closing stanza. Thanks!

All faults and errors in language, however, are on me.