JKR Disclaimers
I (Scowl) do not, you bunch of dunderheads, own any characters not even my own. (Sneer) I would certainly have been the DADA professor if I had ownership. J.K. Rowling (Obsidian Glare) gets every last knut, sickle, and galleon. Even the Great Harry Potter understands this basic fact of life.
Severus T. Snape
Bat Of The Dungeons
Potion Master Extraordinaire
Jus letting ye know. Me, my friends, and my interestin pets belong to that nice lady JK Rowling. Stop by for tea and rock cakes next time ye visit Hogwarts.
Hagrid
Groundskeeper & Professor for Care of Magical Creatures
Would you care for a lemon drop before we straighten this out? Please let me assure you that all characters, except for those not mentioned in the official Harry Potter books, come from the genius of Madam J.K. Rowling. Regardless of her decision to kill me in book six, I am a great admirer of her works. Are you quite certain you wouldn't like a lemon drop?
Albus Dumbledore
Headmaster
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry
I will get my body back. I will get my body back, I will get my body back. What? Were you summoned? NO I DON'T THINK SO. Cruci - All right! All right! Until I get my hands on a time turner, which will be the first thing I'll do once I have hands, J.K. Rowling owns all characters in the official Harry Potter series. Once I get a time turner, I WILL REWRITE HISTORY including that nonsense about a baby defeating me. Now out! GO!
Voldemort
Dark Lord, Homicidal Maniac, Wannabe Pure Blood, Narcissistic Cult Leader, World Class Sociopath, etc.
I have thoroughly researched the problem, and I believe under both Wizard Laws/Statutes and Muggle Law/Statutes that Madam Rowling has full copyright ownership of all characters portrayed in the Official Harry Potter Book series. (Please note that there is an index cross-referencing characters and books on a supplementary parchment to this report.) Given her ownership, all remuneration for both Wizard and Muggle books should be remitted to her excluding any sales tax collected or shipping fees.
Percy Weasley
First Assistant to the Assistant of Mr. B. Crouch, of International Magical CooperationMinistry Of Magic
Honestly, Ron! No, you will not be paid. All characters from the Official Harry Potter book series belong to Madam J.K. Rowling. No, you may not ask for Season Tickets for Chudley Cannons and cannot hint for them. All payments go to Madam Rowling. (Gritting Teeth) No, you will not receive gift certificates from Quality Quidditch Supplies nor can you suggest that the store give you one. If you ask about payment one more time, I am owling your mother and ask her to explain.
Hermione Granger
BFF Harry Potter
First Muggle Born Minister of Magic
RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY - You listen to me young man! I have received Hermiones owl. She is correct; neither wizard nor muggle book sales allow you to be paid for just being a character. You WILL STOP REPEATEDLY PESTERING her about this subject, or you WILL have a meeting with MY WOODEN SPOON in the Great Hall. Madam J.K. Rowling owns all characters from the Official Harry Potter Series and receives all the galleons. If you want some extra money, get a summer job instead of SLEEPING AWAY YOUR SUMMER.
Molly Weasley
Contents of Howler
Dobby is so sorry. Dobby can't give money to poor fan fiction Masters and Mistresses, The evil but inspired Mistress J.K. Rowling owns all of us in the books about the Great Harry Potter. She-Who-Must-Be-Named forbids payment. Dobby will go now and punish himself. Dobby must decide between hitting his head against the wall or freezing his hands.
Dobby
Free Elf
Hero