(A/N): Warning! Pure crack ahead.
Disclaimer: Murposifly does not own Avatar: the Last Airbender
Avatar: The Last Alligator
By: Murp-o and Shutterfly Simmons
Whales. Emus. Ferrets. Alligators. Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. Until one day, the ferrets attacked. Only the hair-grower, the master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished.
100 years passed and my brother and I discovered the new hairgrower, an alligator, named Aang. Although his alligator skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone. But, I believe Aang can save the world.
Katara and Sokka were fishing when they saw the giant iceberg. Katara gasped.
"We need to tap it to check for magical properties!" She cried out.
"But, magic is scary, " Sokka whined.
"No. We're going there!"
"Fine, but only if I'm allowed to poke something. "
Katara huffed and reluctantly agreeed. She grabbed his boomerang and wacked it on the iceberg. A bright light burst out and a kid with an alligator tattoo sat inside. Katara realized that he was unconscious.
"Can I poke him?" Sokka asked. Without waiting for a response, Sokka poked the boy's head with the end of his spear.
"Sokka, that's rude," Katara chastised. Sokka frowned and stopped poking him. Suddenly the unconscious boy's eyes started to glow and the surrounding ice melted. Katara and Sokka quickly backed away.
"He's a alligator," Katara said.
"No way, " Sokka said. Katara's mouth dropped open in shock. Sokka fainted on the spot. The glowing stopped and the boy stood up. Sokka remembered what he'd learned.
"Want a fish?" Sokka offered.
"I'm vegetarian!" The boy roared, and his tattoos began to glow again.
Katara screamed. "If he goes hairbender state on us, you're dead Sokka!"
"I'm not hungry, " he growled.
"I'm sorry!" Sokka said, his hands in the air. "Don't kill me." This just made the boy angrier. Alligators started popping up around him.
Sokka made a rather highpitched squeak. "Alligators are scary."
Katara rolled her eyes. She summoned a whale. The whale squished a few alligators. The boy summoned more alligators.
"Please stop, " Sokka commanded. Surprisingly, the boy stopped.
Sokka grinned. "See, I told you that would work!" Katara threw a whale at him. The boy laughed. Katara threw a whale at him, too.
"Stop laughing! Who are you anyway?" She screeched.
"I'm Aang!" he said cheerfully.
"Aang?" Katara asked questioningly. The boy, Aang, nodded.
"Are you a alligator?" Sokka asked.
"Sure am, " he said.
"But-" Sokka started.
"That's so cool!" Katara squealed. Aang smiled. He was glad that someone appreciated his talents. Being an alligator bender was hard work. Alligators were rather vicious. It fit Aang's personality. That's what Sokka thought, anyway. Aang turned out to be completely opposite of alligators.
"I want to go home, " Sokka whined.
"Where is it?" Aang asked excitedly. "I can fly you there." Aang loved traveling. He even had his own flying bison named Appa. Appa was his personal chauffeur.
"You can fly?" Sokka asked, jumping up and down. Sokka had always wanted to fly. It was his dream. In his nightmares, he would always escape from danger (usually people - eating food) by flying away. Aang smiled and stepped to the side, revealing a giant flying bison. Sokka's enthusiasm dropped significantly. He thought they would fly and go 'WHOOSH!' He thought Aang could use his alligator bending to make them fly, somehow. Katara, on the other hand, looked excited at the prospect of riding a flying bison.
"How fast does he go?" she asked, eagerly.
"Very fast," Aang said proudly.
"But, how fast?" she insisted.
"Very fast," Aang repeated. Katara was annoyed. She wanted exact numbers! Precision was very important to her.
She glared at Aang. "How. Fast. Does. It. Go?"
"Sky bison speed," Aang said, still not understanding. Katara screamed in frustration, causing multiple whales to suddenly pop up. Aang waved at the whales. The whales waved back. Katara facepalmed. Aang summoned a few alligators. Sokka watched and hoped that they would not have to ride the bison. Aang seemed to have a different opinion. Meanwhile, Katara could not understand why Aang couldn't give her a proper answer. She was on the verge of tears. Then, she realized that she could cry to get what she wanted. She started to cry loudly. Aang and Sokka stared at her. Katara was never one to cry which made it very confusing for Sokka. Aang was terrified of crying people. They both walked away from Katara. Katara blocked their path with a whale.
"Answer my question!" She demanded. The two boys were to frightened to respond. They too started to cry. They all sobbed in harmony. The whale behind them also cried. Katara threw the whale away in misery. They cried for a few hours. Then, they all got cold. So they stopped crying. It formed a rather awkward silence. Aang looked at Sokka. Sokka's heart sunk. He turned to Katara. Katara sighed. She opened her mouth. But, before she could say anything, Sokka interrupted her.
"What's going on?"
"Aang's withholding information, " Katara accused.
"I'm not!" Aang screamed exasperated.
"Don't deny it!"
Aang ran up to Katara. "I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!"
Katara judged and looked away. "He's lying," she said offhandedly.
Katara huffed and looked away. Aang glared at both of them. Aang's face turned red. Sokka started laughing. Aang sighed and pushed Sokka toward his bison. Sokka jumped up and ran away from Aang. Aang threw an alligator to block him. Katara threw a whale at the alligator. Sokka took this as an opportunity to run away. He jumped into the water. He tried to swim back to the tribe. It didn't work. Katara and Aang caught up with him on Appa.
"Need help?" Katara called down.
"No," Sokka said stubbornly.
"You sure?" Aang asked. Sokka nodded. Aang and Katara flew off. Sokka continued swimming. The water was cold. He ignored it and hoped he wouldn't die. He did. Sokka groaned and swam faster. It was tiring. Sokka was panting heavily by the time he reached the tribe. Aang and Katara were already there and waiting.
"You missed dinner, " Katara informed him. Sokka wailed.
"Relax, we saved you some, " Aang said, rolling his eyes. Sokka sighed in relief.
"Aren't you going to ask if we're okay?" asked Katara.
"Nope," Sokka said.
"Fair enough." Katara walked away with all the leftovers. Sokka followed her. How dare she take all the food!
Katara put the food on an old plate. "Here," she said, pushing the plate into Sokka's hands. Sokka took it gratefully. He quickly ate all the food. Sokka, oblivious, walked away to his igloo. In Aang culture, that too was disrespectful.
"Mannerless oaf," Aang muttered. Katara nodded in agreement. Sokka, meanwhile, had fallen asleep. Food made him tired. Katara and Aang plotted their revenge. They had become good friends while they rode on Appa. They bonded through bending. It was one of the few things they had in common. They both got annoyed by Sokka, too. They had a deep conversation about penguins. In fact, they had agreed to go penguin sledding the next day. Aang was excited for the adventure. He had always wanted to go sledding. As a small alligator bender, sledding was never an option. But, the idea had fascinated him.
The next morning, Katara woke him up. She had dropped a bucket of ice water on him. Aang was currently reconsidering their friendship. He had been shocked. Who drops a bucket of ice water on their friend? That wasn't very nice. Not to mention, rude. People had the right to sleep as long as they wanted to. And Aang was proud to say he held the record for the longest nap. He hoped his record hadn't been broken. 100 years was a bit hard to break. But, he knew he had to keep practicing. He made a vow to sleep some more later. It was an avatar promise. And avatar promises were the strongest type of promise. Only the avatar could make them. No one else. That's what made it so special. Aang was glad he could make avatar promises. It made him more trustworthy. He felt proud when he completed a promise. Aang didn't believe in lies. He didn't tell lies and didn't believe any lie anyone told him. After all, lying was wrong. He hoped that in the past hundred years, lying hadn't become a tradition. Aang knew that lying was the last thing the world needed
He was tired when he exited the tent. So, he decided to go back to sleep. But Katara stopped him with a giant whale. Aang groaned. He wanted to sleep. But, he didn't want to be soaked. So he tried to wake himself up. It didn't work. He made an alligator to guard him while he fell back asleep. The alligator died in the middle of the nap. Katara barged in with a whale.
"Wake up!" She screeched. Aang was deeply asleep and didn't hear her. She dropped a whale on him. Aang screamed and summoned an alligator. The alligator was squished, too.
"Gah!" Aang yelled as the whale fell on his face. Katara smirked.
"What's wrong with you?" Aang hollered when he finally got the whale off.
Katara huffed, "Nothing."
"You almost killed me!"
"The lazy don't deserve to survive!" she hissed.
"Murdering people is rude and rude people don't deserve to survive!" Aang screamed.
"You're yelling woke me up!" Sokka complained, as he walked into the igloo.
"Your sister tried to squash me with a whale!" Aang said exasperated. "Of course it's going to be loud."
Sokka nodded and said, "I feel your pain, Buddy."
Katara glared at Sokka. "So you're siding with him now?"
"Yup!"
"Traitor," Katara muttered.
"Thanks!" Aang said.
"Wasn't talking to you," Katara screamed into Aang's ear. Aang groaned and rubbed his ear. Katara whirled around and ran out the igloo. Sokka and Aang high fived.
"Well, I'm tired out. Night," Aang waved and left to get back to sleep. Sokka slept, too. Katara fumed. She took out her frustration on a nearby ice block. She dropped multiple whales on it. The ice shattered.
"Stop bending so loudly!" Someone screamed. She smiled to herself. Confident again, she stormed back into Aang's tent. Her ears were assaulted by heavy snoring.
"Why are you still sleeping you oaf!" Katara screamed, annoyed. He sighed in relief. Suddenly, a whale came through the roof. Aang shrieked. He made a alligator to keep the whale from crushing him. The alligator was crushed instead. Aang ran out of the tent in terror. It was obvious that he wasn't safe here. He didn't even care if he would never go penguin sledding. Safety always came first. That's what the alligator nomads always said. It was from a lesson on priorities. Aang had tried to follow along. He had taken minimal notes. Most of them were unreadable. He had had a broken finger and was wearing an arm sling. The air nomads said it would help. Arm slings had deep spiritual connections. It helped the young hair grower meditate. Aang still thought it was stupid. He never wanted to be the next hair grower after all. It had been forced upon him. None of the other alligator benders wanted to play with him anymore. They were scared of his hair. It made the game unfair. Hair could be used to cheat. All the hair growers did it. Aang had vowed to change that. He didn't want to cheat. It was morally wrong. And so he ran away to show this. But, after a gambling incident, he was forced to live inside an iceberg for 100 years. And that was where Katara and Sokka found him.
He was glad that someone woke him up in time. If he had stayed in their for one more year, it would have been counted as cheating according to the hide-and-seek handbook. Then, Aang would have to start all over again. And starting over was annoying. Aang had a schedule to keep up with. He had no time to move his appointments. He left his secretary in the air temple. And he was pretty sure she was re-hired by now. She had had a wait list. He had managed to get to the top of the list via bribery. It was a useful skill to have. His friend Bumi taught him. Bumi was a good teacher. Aang learned a lot from him. They both stumbled into a tank full of piranas. It made no sense why no one else understood him. Bumi said they weren't smart enough to understand. Aang agreed. He liked being called smart. It didn't happen as often as he liked. People thought he was dumb. He never understood why. He assumed that it was because he didn't believe in arm slings. In his defense, it made no sense to wear an arm sling for a broken neck. No one understood why he couldn't see the connection. It seemed to make perfect sense to everyone else. Maybe he had been dumb. Now that he thought back on it, it did make sense. He had been dumb then. He was only a young hairgrower. It was understandable. But now he was more mature and he knew the truth. For he had been dumb, not stupid. There was a difference. It was a very obvious difference, but Aang had forgotten. So he opted to ignore it. If it was important he'd find out later. A scream snapped him out of his flashback.
He blinked and saw Katara looming over him. "Penguin sledding, NOW," she screamed.
"Okay, " Aang squeaked. He didn't like the idea of facing Katara's wrath. It was scary. She killed many. There was no mercy with her. She was kind to not murder him earlier. Aang was thankful for that. And so he followed all directions for penguin sledding. He had brought his instruction manual. It was outdated. Aang didn't know that.
"You're doing it wrong!" Katara screamed. "You need to bribe them!" Aang cried.
Katara laughed. "Crying doesn't solve anything," she said wisely. Aang copied that into the notebook he had brought along. Katara looked at him incredulously. "What are you doing?"
"Taking notes."
"Why?" She asked.
"Don't take notes while penguin sledding," Katara ordered. Aang wrote that down before he realized what he was doing.
Katara snatched the notepad out of his hands. "No more notes!" She shrieked. Aang immediately dropped his notepad and cowered behind a penguin.
"That penguin won't save you!" She bent some water out of the ice. Aang pleaded with the spirits to save him. The spirits didn't listen because they didn't want to feel the wrath of Katara. Katara was feared by all. She had threatened the spirits multiple times. She had been particularly upset after her mother had died. It was a bad time to be a spirit. Many spirits, like the moon and ocean, become mortal in an attempt to flee her wrath. However others weren't as smart. They lost. It was tiring. They cried. It was sad. Katara laughed at them. Aang had heard stories about this. He had had a dream vision about it, too. Avatar Roku had specifically told him to never partner up with her. Aang didn't know how to politely get away from her. So instead he decided to get on her good side. But, he wasn't entirely sure how to do that, either. Currently, he was failing. He just couldn't tell what she wanted from him. She screamed too much. Aang was afraid he'd go deaf. The air nomads told him that would happen when his chi was blocked. Aang didn't understand, so he ignored that advice. What did his chi have to do with hearing? Anatomy was too confusing. He had given up on understanding it years ago. The teachers had given up on him, too. Aang had a sudden realization. Katara just wanted someone to keep confidential information safe. It all made sense!