LINK AND THE CITY OF THE SEVEN SAGES
Ok ive spelled some things wronge and some things arent Capitale like their supose to but please enjoy
Link fially comes to the big city and has no idea about it what happens? That your going to
find out........
~~~~~~~~~~~At the the city of The Seven Sages~~~~~~~~~~~
*Links walking through the street looking around*
Link:What should I get for everybody in Hyrule and everybody else on the island?
*walks by a shop and stop in front of it and his eye shines*
Link: MUSIC IN A BOX!!! thats what I should get Darunia!
*Goes inside and then came out with a tiny package and looked up*
Link: HEY!!!!!!!!
*throws up package and a post bird came and took it to Death Moutain*
~~~~~~~~~~~At Death Moutain~~~~~~~~~~~
Darunia:oh boy oh boy. I wonder what Link sent me (opens package and a tiny cube was in it which unfolds
into a exercise machine man(EMM)
EMM: Hey everybody lets do my favorite song! (boom box comes out of its belly)
Boombox:SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE nanana SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE nanana SHAKE YA BOOTY!!!!!
Darunia: AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GUYS BAD MUSIC OF HELL!
*Gorons came in and formed a fence in front of Darunia and started throwing rocks at EMM*
Darunia:(Jumps up to EMM winding up his arm and punched EMM's face) HAHA no one survives the Gorons secret move the
tormenting rocks!
*EMM turns to them regenerates like the guy in Turninater( not sure if spelled right)and boombox comes out of his
belly again and started the song again.
Darunia and the rest of the Gorons in the room:AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*All Gorons run for the door and gets stuck*
Darunia: NO NO NO!(shoves all of the Gorons trying to get them out) NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!(light bulbs on his
head glows) QUICK TO THE ENTRENCE TO INSIDE OF DEATH MOUNTAIN!!!!
*But the EMM was blocking the way and was slowly coming towards them with the music still on*
~~~~~~~~~~~Outside Of Deathmountain~~~~~~~~~~~
All the Gorons inside of Darunias room plus Darunia: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~City Of The Seven Sages~~~~~~~~~~~
Link:Im hungry (he then spots Subways) Subways aye? Ok (enters)
Lady: Welcome to Subways home of eating fresh can i help you?
Link: YES YOU CAN HELP ME WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE? SERVICE OR SOME THING??
Lady:-_-'
Link:AND WHAT DOES THE SWEAT DROP THINGY STAND FOR HUH???????!!!!!!!
*Everybody looks at Link*
Lady:Well can I get your order? (sinks behind the counter)
Link:K
Lady:Well then Ill get the bread so you can start your own sandwich a.....
Link;SAND WITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(runs around Subways)
*Lady Comes out with a plain sandwich with ham*
Lady:Since your new to Subways heres a sample
*Link looks at sandwich poke it with his sword the top slowly opens up like a treasure chest*
Link:AAAAUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH ITS READY TO ATTACK(takes out megaton hammer and smashes the sandwich as flat
as a paper, then dices it up with his sword, trapped it into a bottle took out his bow shoots the bottle
into the air outside and then he shot it with his ice arrow) VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!
*everybody looks at link like he's crazy like hell*
Link:HEY! (ran to the garage sale he just spotted and brought some thing and wraped it up and threw it up
like before)
~~~~~~~~~~~Zoro Cave~~~~~~~~~~~
Ruto:YAY my boy friend just sent me a gift!
*Ruto looks around and ran to her room bolted the door and jumped on her bed)
Ruto:Oh linky pot pie (her room was filled with pictures of Link) :sign: .......(as quick as lightning
Ruto teared apart the package wrapping and there was a box that Ruto pulled and pulled and stoped).Wait a minute
this not lady like of me....(she then took out a hammer) now THIS is lady like of me (started pounding the package
into the bed) still wont open ok then. ( Goes out and later comes in with a axe) HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH!!!!!(whackes
the package once the axe broke)GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR.Outside of Rutos bedroom stood a Zoro that watches Ruto
come in and out of her bedroom with something dangerous these are the items
1.axe 2.Megaton hammer 3.saw 4.jackhammer 5.flamethrower 6.bugsaw 7.chainsaw 8. bulldozer 9.The Zoro king
just as she got explosives the Zoro finally said
Zoro: Why wont you just cut the tape that held the box close?
Ruto:...................................ok. She took out a dagger and cut the tape and there was a book.
~~~~~~~~~~~Ruto's Daydreaming~~~~~~~~~~~
Opens book and said
Roses are blue
Violets are...........violet
Fishes are hot
And so are you
By your love Linky
~~~~~~~~~~~Rutos Daydreams Ends~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ruto:sign (opens book and her eyes grew larger everytime she turns the page) *The tittle of the book was "How
To Cook Fish"* And there was a note saying theres a bonus. Ruto put her hand through the box and pulls out a pack of
fish sticks. AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
~~~~~~~~~~City Of The Seven Sages~~~~~~~~~~~
Link:Hmm ill get something for Zeda right no........(falls onto bed in a hotel room he rented)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
* Next Day Next Day*
Link: Time to get Zelda something( points finger up) ....after a 3 course breakfast (goes through door)
*Link then scarfed down some eggs, orangejuice, poptart, crispy bacon, a bannana, a apple ,sausage, and a quart of
Moo Moo milk from Long Long Ranch( not sure if thats what the farms called).
~~~~~~~~~~Outside~~~~~~~~~~
Link: (Goes to the mall and see's an elevater) ?????????(Link see's people goes into the elevater and the door close and
opens with nobody inside) NNNOOOOOOOOOO ill save you people of this place (destroys elevater with Megaton Hammer)
SPIT THEM OUT FIEND OF ETURNAL HELL DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE .
*Some people in white came knock him out and puts him in one of those nut house*
~~~~~~~~~~~The Nuthouse~~~~~~~~~~~
*As they draged Link to his cell he heard voices of other people from there cell*
Prisoner #1:I dont belong here
Prisoner #2:I dont belong here neither
Gay Hillbilly: I belong here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link:Do you sell nuts here since its called a nut house???
Guy in white 1:NO
Link: Does this mean i get no peanuts?
Guy in white 2:No you can get asscream
Link: Icecream?
Guy in white 1 and 2: -_-+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*a cell opens and Link get thrown in and his head landed in the toilet*
Guy in white 1:YA BETTER SHUT UP IN THERE!!!
Link: Hey this brown thing in this bowl isnt icecream ya cheat!
Guys in white 1 and 2:@_@ @_@ (faints)
*Link then picks up a bowl of chocolate icecream that was left behind by another prisoner
Untouched*
Link:looks sort of more like rocky rock dontcha think guys?.....guys?........guys????
(turns around and see the 2 guys on the floor) Hey stupid heads you forgot to lock me
up you dingdongs!(Link grabs keys,shut his cage , locked it up and threw away the keys)
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH much better.
Link sat there with a large smile on his face for a long time until a old man came with
a small collection of bookes on a cart and offered him one.
Old dude: Would you like a book?
Link grabed one.
Link: You sound like that moron Tingle.
Old dude: AH yes Im his Moron father who turned him into a moron since my father turned
me into a moron so did his father..
Link: @_@
Old dude: Anyways my name is Yingle.And he's an idiot
Link:I know we all know.
* they heard a iron door close and Tingle came in front of the cell*
Tingle:Link im here to....(see's Yingle) OH CRAP FATHER!!!!(runs)
Yingle:YOU GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID SON OF A BOOK SELLER(runs after Tingle)
Tingle voice from a distance;NNNNOOOOOOOO PUH LLEEEZZZZZZZZZEEEEEE LET ME GO! *pieces of
other cells flys by followed by some wood, steel, a piece of ear, a couple of teeths, and
a large cloud of dust* AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OMIGOD WHAT IS
THAT THING???????????????? *A LARGE EXPLOSION WAS HEARD*PPPPPUUUUHHHHHHLLLLLLLLEEEZZZZZZZ
LEGGO!
Yingle: TAKE THIS YOU STUPID LITTLE GREEN PEA ILL SQUASH YOU LIKE A GRAPE!
Tingle:NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LINK LINK LINK!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!
Yingle:HAHAHAHHAAHHAH I GOT YOU LINK COME HERE AND PIN HIM DOWN WHILE I PRY HIS FINGERS!
Link:@_@
Later Yingle and Tingle were in the cell with Link.
Link: So how did Tingle become an idiot?
Yingle: Well it...
Link:Is it going to be long?
Yingle:No not to..
Link: YIIPEEE!!!!!!!!!(runs to bed and jumps but broke through it since it was cardboard)
GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR STUPID SON OF A..(bed breaks and the crash was loud enough to cover
the last word)
Yingle:....LETS START!!!
30 hours later
Link:........when are we starting??????
Yingle:....Wha?.....Oh yeah LETS START....... for real.
90 hours later
Link:COME ON OLD TIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yingle:(sipping tea) No I dont want any pie...Oh wait the story ..LETSSTART!!!!!!!!!!!..
..for real too.
10 minutes later
Link:ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz
Yingle: Tingle wake him up.
Tingle:k...TINGLE TINGLE KUPA WITH SUGAR!!!!!!!
*Tingle stomps onto Links back*
Link:YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW(gets up from a piece of cardboard which is now his bed
and cracked his back)WHY THE HELL YOU DO THAT FOR???
Tingle:(shrugs) I dont know i just want to do something silly.
Link:-_-+..... hey I can do that bulb thing like everybody else can cool.
Yingle: Ok me tell story it started....
Link;ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ snort ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz snort ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
*Yingle picks Link up by the collar and started smacking him*
Yingle:Wake up Link.. Wake up Im getting old..
Tingle:But your already old.
Link:O (get spanked) k Im (get spanked) up (get spanked) already
Tingle: Father stop!
Link: Thank you Tingle..
Tingle: I want a turn
Link:@_@
And so Tingle and Yingle started taking turns spanking Link even though he's awake
Chapter2 :Link and the idiotic Duo
Ok ive spelled some things wronge and some things arent Capitale like their supose to but please enjoy
Link fially comes to the big city and has no idea about it what happens? That your going to
find out........
~~~~~~~~~~~At the the city of The Seven Sages~~~~~~~~~~~
*Links walking through the street looking around*
Link:What should I get for everybody in Hyrule and everybody else on the island?
*walks by a shop and stop in front of it and his eye shines*
Link: MUSIC IN A BOX!!! thats what I should get Darunia!
*Goes inside and then came out with a tiny package and looked up*
Link: HEY!!!!!!!!
*throws up package and a post bird came and took it to Death Moutain*
~~~~~~~~~~~At Death Moutain~~~~~~~~~~~
Darunia:oh boy oh boy. I wonder what Link sent me (opens package and a tiny cube was in it which unfolds
into a exercise machine man(EMM)
EMM: Hey everybody lets do my favorite song! (boom box comes out of its belly)
Boombox:SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE nanana SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE nanana SHAKE YA BOOTY!!!!!
Darunia: AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GUYS BAD MUSIC OF HELL!
*Gorons came in and formed a fence in front of Darunia and started throwing rocks at EMM*
Darunia:(Jumps up to EMM winding up his arm and punched EMM's face) HAHA no one survives the Gorons secret move the
tormenting rocks!
*EMM turns to them regenerates like the guy in Turninater( not sure if spelled right)and boombox comes out of his
belly again and started the song again.
Darunia and the rest of the Gorons in the room:AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*All Gorons run for the door and gets stuck*
Darunia: NO NO NO!(shoves all of the Gorons trying to get them out) NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!(light bulbs on his
head glows) QUICK TO THE ENTRENCE TO INSIDE OF DEATH MOUNTAIN!!!!
*But the EMM was blocking the way and was slowly coming towards them with the music still on*
~~~~~~~~~~~Outside Of Deathmountain~~~~~~~~~~~
All the Gorons inside of Darunias room plus Darunia: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~City Of The Seven Sages~~~~~~~~~~~
Link:Im hungry (he then spots Subways) Subways aye? Ok (enters)
Lady: Welcome to Subways home of eating fresh can i help you?
Link: YES YOU CAN HELP ME WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE? SERVICE OR SOME THING??
Lady:-_-'
Link:AND WHAT DOES THE SWEAT DROP THINGY STAND FOR HUH???????!!!!!!!
*Everybody looks at Link*
Lady:Well can I get your order? (sinks behind the counter)
Link:K
Lady:Well then Ill get the bread so you can start your own sandwich a.....
Link;SAND WITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(runs around Subways)
*Lady Comes out with a plain sandwich with ham*
Lady:Since your new to Subways heres a sample
*Link looks at sandwich poke it with his sword the top slowly opens up like a treasure chest*
Link:AAAAUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH ITS READY TO ATTACK(takes out megaton hammer and smashes the sandwich as flat
as a paper, then dices it up with his sword, trapped it into a bottle took out his bow shoots the bottle
into the air outside and then he shot it with his ice arrow) VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!
*everybody looks at link like he's crazy like hell*
Link:HEY! (ran to the garage sale he just spotted and brought some thing and wraped it up and threw it up
like before)
~~~~~~~~~~~Zoro Cave~~~~~~~~~~~
Ruto:YAY my boy friend just sent me a gift!
*Ruto looks around and ran to her room bolted the door and jumped on her bed)
Ruto:Oh linky pot pie (her room was filled with pictures of Link) :sign: .......(as quick as lightning
Ruto teared apart the package wrapping and there was a box that Ruto pulled and pulled and stoped).Wait a minute
this not lady like of me....(she then took out a hammer) now THIS is lady like of me (started pounding the package
into the bed) still wont open ok then. ( Goes out and later comes in with a axe) HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH!!!!!(whackes
the package once the axe broke)GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR.Outside of Rutos bedroom stood a Zoro that watches Ruto
come in and out of her bedroom with something dangerous these are the items
1.axe 2.Megaton hammer 3.saw 4.jackhammer 5.flamethrower 6.bugsaw 7.chainsaw 8. bulldozer 9.The Zoro king
just as she got explosives the Zoro finally said
Zoro: Why wont you just cut the tape that held the box close?
Ruto:...................................ok. She took out a dagger and cut the tape and there was a book.
~~~~~~~~~~~Ruto's Daydreaming~~~~~~~~~~~
Opens book and said
Roses are blue
Violets are...........violet
Fishes are hot
And so are you
By your love Linky
~~~~~~~~~~~Rutos Daydreams Ends~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ruto:sign (opens book and her eyes grew larger everytime she turns the page) *The tittle of the book was "How
To Cook Fish"* And there was a note saying theres a bonus. Ruto put her hand through the box and pulls out a pack of
fish sticks. AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
~~~~~~~~~~City Of The Seven Sages~~~~~~~~~~~
Link:Hmm ill get something for Zeda right no........(falls onto bed in a hotel room he rented)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
* Next Day Next Day*
Link: Time to get Zelda something( points finger up) ....after a 3 course breakfast (goes through door)
*Link then scarfed down some eggs, orangejuice, poptart, crispy bacon, a bannana, a apple ,sausage, and a quart of
Moo Moo milk from Long Long Ranch( not sure if thats what the farms called).
~~~~~~~~~~Outside~~~~~~~~~~
Link: (Goes to the mall and see's an elevater) ?????????(Link see's people goes into the elevater and the door close and
opens with nobody inside) NNNOOOOOOOOOO ill save you people of this place (destroys elevater with Megaton Hammer)
SPIT THEM OUT FIEND OF ETURNAL HELL DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE .
*Some people in white came knock him out and puts him in one of those nut house*
~~~~~~~~~~~The Nuthouse~~~~~~~~~~~
*As they draged Link to his cell he heard voices of other people from there cell*
Prisoner #1:I dont belong here
Prisoner #2:I dont belong here neither
Gay Hillbilly: I belong here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link:Do you sell nuts here since its called a nut house???
Guy in white 1:NO
Link: Does this mean i get no peanuts?
Guy in white 2:No you can get asscream
Link: Icecream?
Guy in white 1 and 2: -_-+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*a cell opens and Link get thrown in and his head landed in the toilet*
Guy in white 1:YA BETTER SHUT UP IN THERE!!!
Link: Hey this brown thing in this bowl isnt icecream ya cheat!
Guys in white 1 and 2:@_@ @_@ (faints)
*Link then picks up a bowl of chocolate icecream that was left behind by another prisoner
Untouched*
Link:looks sort of more like rocky rock dontcha think guys?.....guys?........guys????
(turns around and see the 2 guys on the floor) Hey stupid heads you forgot to lock me
up you dingdongs!(Link grabs keys,shut his cage , locked it up and threw away the keys)
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH much better.
Link sat there with a large smile on his face for a long time until a old man came with
a small collection of bookes on a cart and offered him one.
Old dude: Would you like a book?
Link grabed one.
Link: You sound like that moron Tingle.
Old dude: AH yes Im his Moron father who turned him into a moron since my father turned
me into a moron so did his father..
Link: @_@
Old dude: Anyways my name is Yingle.And he's an idiot
Link:I know we all know.
* they heard a iron door close and Tingle came in front of the cell*
Tingle:Link im here to....(see's Yingle) OH CRAP FATHER!!!!(runs)
Yingle:YOU GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID SON OF A BOOK SELLER(runs after Tingle)
Tingle voice from a distance;NNNNOOOOOOOO PUH LLEEEZZZZZZZZZEEEEEE LET ME GO! *pieces of
other cells flys by followed by some wood, steel, a piece of ear, a couple of teeths, and
a large cloud of dust* AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OMIGOD WHAT IS
THAT THING???????????????? *A LARGE EXPLOSION WAS HEARD*PPPPPUUUUHHHHHHLLLLLLLLEEEZZZZZZZ
LEGGO!
Yingle: TAKE THIS YOU STUPID LITTLE GREEN PEA ILL SQUASH YOU LIKE A GRAPE!
Tingle:NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LINK LINK LINK!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!
Yingle:HAHAHAHHAAHHAH I GOT YOU LINK COME HERE AND PIN HIM DOWN WHILE I PRY HIS FINGERS!
Link:@_@
Later Yingle and Tingle were in the cell with Link.
Link: So how did Tingle become an idiot?
Yingle: Well it...
Link:Is it going to be long?
Yingle:No not to..
Link: YIIPEEE!!!!!!!!!(runs to bed and jumps but broke through it since it was cardboard)
GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR STUPID SON OF A..(bed breaks and the crash was loud enough to cover
the last word)
Yingle:....LETS START!!!
30 hours later
Link:........when are we starting??????
Yingle:....Wha?.....Oh yeah LETS START....... for real.
90 hours later
Link:COME ON OLD TIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yingle:(sipping tea) No I dont want any pie...Oh wait the story ..LETSSTART!!!!!!!!!!!..
..for real too.
10 minutes later
Link:ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz
Yingle: Tingle wake him up.
Tingle:k...TINGLE TINGLE KUPA WITH SUGAR!!!!!!!
*Tingle stomps onto Links back*
Link:YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW(gets up from a piece of cardboard which is now his bed
and cracked his back)WHY THE HELL YOU DO THAT FOR???
Tingle:(shrugs) I dont know i just want to do something silly.
Link:-_-+..... hey I can do that bulb thing like everybody else can cool.
Yingle: Ok me tell story it started....
Link;ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ snort ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz snort ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
*Yingle picks Link up by the collar and started smacking him*
Yingle:Wake up Link.. Wake up Im getting old..
Tingle:But your already old.
Link:O (get spanked) k Im (get spanked) up (get spanked) already
Tingle: Father stop!
Link: Thank you Tingle..
Tingle: I want a turn
Link:@_@
And so Tingle and Yingle started taking turns spanking Link even though he's awake
Chapter2 :Link and the idiotic Duo