A NARUTO PICNIC

By fighting-dreamers179

AFTER A LONG DAY OF FIGHTING ENEMY NINJAS, THE CHARACTERS FROM NARUTO HAVE A PICNIC CELEBRATING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. THE FOLLOWING IS AN EXCERPT OF THE MANY MISADVENTURES THEY MUST ENDURE.

Note: I do not own Naruto or anything else in here. If you're wondering why I inserted "anything else" in here, you'll just have to read a bit further. Enjoy, rate, and comment!

(Sasuke approaches wearing tie-dye)

SASUKE: YAAAY! WHEEEEE! HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! WHEEEE!

NARUTO: (confused) What'd you do, kill Itachi or something?

SASUKE: As a matter of fact...no. (Slouches and heads off the change back into his EMO uniform)

NARUTO: I can already tell this is going to be an ultra-weird picnic...

NEJI: I am glad that it was my destiny to come to this picnic.

SAKURA: Please pass Kakashi's potato salad, Neji!

NEJI: (passing salad) GAAAHH! Amaterasu! IT BURNS!!!

TENTEN: Okay, what just happened?

ITACHI: (grinning evilly) I hate potatoes.

HINATA: (nervously) Neji-san, please don't abuse the homemade gelatin treats I made in Naruto-kun's image.

NEJI: Aagh! It moved!

JELLO: Must...devour...Neji's...freakishlylargenose!

NARUTO: 0o?!!

NEJI: (hopelessly) Why did I have to be destined to experience death at the hand of jello?

HINATA: (twitching) THAT'S IT!! I'M TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT YOUR DESTINY! NOW DIE, BECAUSE IT'S YOUR DESTINY!! JUUKEN!

NEJI: EEEEEEAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

JELLO: Ha...ha...ha!

ARNOLD: Get out! They are trying to kill you! RUNNN! see "Naruto Rejected Voice Actors" on YouTube

NARUTO'S THOUGHTS: I can't understand a word that guy says. He's either a foreign politician or he's speaking in a different font.

ARNOLD: Get out! They are trying to kill you! RUNNN! ditto

TSUNADE: WILL YOU GO AWAY ALREADY?!?!

ARNOLD: I'll be back. (walks away)

SHIKAMARU: (whistling) ♫♪♪♫♪♫♫♪♫...

INO: (annoyed) THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF "FIGHTING DREAMERS!!" DIEEEEE!!

SHIKIMARU: This could be troublesome...(After an intense beating) Now it is troublesome...whoopee.

THIRD'S GHOST: I have come for the ultra-sweet Hogake hat-thingy!

TSUNADE: Forget it, it's mine!

THIRD'S GHOST: I won't leave until I get it!

TSUNADE: Now we might have a problem...

HAKU: Is this a private party, or can the dead join?

SASUKE: (massaging head) Oh great, now I see dead people.

ICHIGO: (pointing to Haku) There you are! I've been after you for so long! Die, you mime reject!!

HAKU: Now we have another problem...

ZABUZA: (eying Ichigo) So, you fancy yourself a big sword, do ya?

KISAME: Why yes.

ZABUZA: SHUT UP, FISH STICK!!

KISAME:(

ICHIGO: (annoyed) BANKAI!!

CHOUJI: Yo, Sword guy! Got any Hidden Mist food?

ZABUZA: (irritated at the interruption of a battle) I'll give you a rice ball if you shut up.

CHOUJI: REALLY:)!

ZABUZA: I really hate kids...

HAKU:( (sniffles) ... :)

ZABUZA: Uh-oh.

HAKU: CRYSTAL ICE MIRROR!

ZABUZA: Uh, isn't it supposed to be crystal ice mirrors?

HAKU: Nah, I just think I'm cute when I'm angsty.

ICHIGO: Weird kid.

ZABUZA: Tell me about it.

OROCHIMARU: Bwah ha haw ha haw ha!!! I have emerged from hiding to take Sasuke to my super-cool hideout! Now, come with me!

SASUKE: Sure. Nobody cares about me anyway...(sobs pathetically)

KABUTO'S THOUGHTS: I 3 ORO-KUN; I :( THE STUPID COCKATOO-HEAD.

SASUKE: I heard that!

KABUTO'S THOUGHTS: Oh yeah, EMOs can read minds...

SASUKE: I AM NOT EMO, YOU (INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT DELETED)!!

AURORS: (approaching and looking at Orochimaru) There you are! Thought you could escape from us again, huh? Well, I'm the Minister of Magic and that's that! You're coming back to Azkaban!

OROCHIMARU: (writhing in agony) I'll get you, Kakashi, and your little dog too!

PAKKUN: (twitching) Little? LITTLE?!!

KAKASHI: Sic 'em.

SAKURA: (ignoring the rampant screaming from Orochimaru and Kabuto) So, anyone for tennis? '

RYOMA: (approaches) Yo. Mada mada whatever.

KIBA: (?!) How many crossovers can there BE in this show?

AKAMARU: BARK! (Translation: "We're a show?")

KIBA: Shut up, you existential—

AKAMARU: BARK, BARK, GRRR! (Translation: "Speak for yourself, baka-kun!")

OROCHIMARU: (being dragged off) You'll all pay for this!
NARUTO: (points) Hey, look, more dead people!
SOUND FIVE: Hey, Orochimaru needs us! (runs toward him)

KABUTO: NOO! Orochimaru-sama, I will defend you! (runs off)

SHIKAMARU: Well, at least it couldn't get any weirder.

SASUKE: (calling to Orochimaru) Wait for me! Teach me how to rub off this stupid temporary tattoo you put on my neck! TEACH ME, YOU CURSED—!!! (runs off as well)

SHIKAMARU: (o0) I stand corrected.

NARUTO: No you don't.

SHIKAMARU: And why not?!

NARUTO: (sheepishly) You're sitting down!

SHIKAMARU: (twitching) Naruto, you'll pay for that come tomorrow.

ROCK LEE: Guess what, everybody?

SAKURA: You'll finally stop trying to date me?
INO: You're going to shave your head?

SHIKAMARU: You'll end the annoying inspirational speeches you blare on a loudspeaker every morning at 5:00 A.M.?

KAKASHI: You're finally going to admit my superiority to Gai?

ROCK LEE: (nervously) Er...no, but those are good ideas! Actually, I've decided to—

NEJI: To stop trying to get Tenten and me to wear those stupid spandex uniforms?

HINATA: You'll finally shut up about your destiny?

NARUTO: (whispering) Hinata, we're dissing Rock Lee here, not Neji!

HINATA: (whispering back) Oh, sorry, Naruto-kun. I guess I got carried away for a second there. '

ROCK LEE: None of you have guessed correctly so far. Very well, I shall tell you. Ladies and gentlenins...

SASUKE: This couldn't get any more pointless.

ROCK LEE: For this picnic I have brought: (drumroll from nowhere) the Curry of Life!

(exchanged looks of alarm)

TSUNADE: Curry of Life? What's...Wait, WHAT IS THAT?!?!

NEJI: (!!!) Nothing...good!

ROCK LEE: (grinning proudly and bearing a plastic container) This is the curry of life! I've been saving some for at least two seasons of One Piece!

TENTEN: I did not need to know that he regulates his life by One Piece...

TSUNADE: Err, Rock Lee, the container has partially melted, and black goop is seeping out...

ROCK LEE: Which means it's still good! Want to try some?
TSUNADE: Mind if I pass?

TON-TON: Bweah-bweah! (Begins devouring curry)

ROCK LEE: Aaah! My curry! At least save some for me!

NARUTO: Ooh, just what this picnic needed! Fresh bacon!

KAKASHI: Well, everyone seems to have left. Guess I can eat my potato salad in peace.

SAKURA: We're still here, Kakashi-sensei.

SASUKE: I have nothing to do with this.

KAKASHI: Erm...sure...Sakura, look over there! Ino is flirting with Sasuke!

SAKURA: Wow, you're right! I should chase her, raving furiously until my lungs gives out from hyperventilation! (runs off)

NARUTO: Wait, Sakura. Ohh, why don't you love me?!! (follows)

KAKASHI: Good, now everybody's gone. Well, Itadikima—

SASUKE: I'm still here.

KAKASHI: Hmm...how to get rid of an emo...hey, there goes Itachi!

SASUKE: Grrr...Uchiha Itachi, I...will...kill you...once again!! (runs off in no general direction)

KAKASHI: (?!!) Oh well. Itad—

PAKKUN: Howdy. Did you save me a steak?

KAKASHI: (...)