Gameshow Madness
By Rowena S'
Warped Mindlessness.
Disclaimer.
Cyclops, Iceman and all the X Men are
Miss Piggy and The Guy with boomerang fish are
The Fembots are
Mr Motivator – well – I don't know who owns him but not me.
I also don't own A Director, A voice over, a game show, Tony
Blair (Thank God), Ann Robinson, a piglet, Tarzan, Sweep, Michael Jackson, An
audience, Canned Laughter, Lilliputians, or Fish. Veni the character is
So don't sue me. I am not trying to make money from this and I don't think it would sell anyway. PLEASE DON'T FLAME. I'VE PROBABLY GOT PILES WRONG AND I'LL GET IN TROUBLE WITH CERTAIN SHIPPERS OR MUPPET HATERS SO DON'T FLAME PLEASE. IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
I do own myself (Rowena S) and Nell, they are
My Note: Oh dear! What can I say- it as late, I was tired and I'd read too many fan fictions that day. I also think someone slipped something into that pack of Doritos.
This story is specially dedicated to My Mum because she gave me the idea by threatening to hit me with a wet fish.
Here we go – buckle your seatbelts next destination my Insanity.
Voice over: Have I got a title for you presented by Tony Bl- no – wait – ah. We're sorry Tony Blair has not showed up so presented by the first person we drag in off the street.
[Pause]
Voice over: And Now Have I got a title for you presented by- er- Nell- who insists he face be blurred on camera.
Nell walks in and sits behind a desk on either side are two longer desks.
Nell: (Waves) Hi Mum!
[Someone coughs]
Nell: Oh! Er (looks at script) Let's meet the teams. On the Red Team we have
Bobby Drake or Iceman!
[Bobby skids to his seat waving – Audience Cheer]
Scott Summers or Cyclops!
[Enter Cyclops- Audience hisses]
And our guest for this team- Miss Piggy!!
[Miss Piggy enters- Audience cheers]
Nell: And on the Blue Team we have
Jean Grey or Marvel Girl
[Enters to a mix of cheers and hissing]
Jubilation Lee or Jubilee
[Enters to the same]
And our guest for this team Ann Robinson.
[Enter Veni- utter silence]
Director: What happened to Ann?
Veni: She's busy- I'm her – replacement!
Director: (sigh) Well, carry on, why do we have to be live.
Veni: We're LIVE?!?
[Waves and grins insanely at the camera]
Nell: Riight.
[Pictures appear on screen]
We Have Sweep, A Piglet, Scott Summers and Tarzan.
[Red team whisper]
Cyclops: Easy I am the odd one out because I don't live wild.
Nell: Neither does sweep-sorry.
Miss Piggy: I know, the piglet because it's a baby?
Nell: Nope Bobby?
[Iceman is making an Ice statue of Emma Frost on the desk]
Nell: BOBBY?
Iceman: Oh- Er- I dunno- pass.
Nell: Right so we pass it to the blue team, any ideas?
Jean: My husband because he's a mutant?
Nell: Nope
Veni: I know I know I know!!
Nell: Well?
Veni: Tarzan because he's the only one that doesn't make a high pitched squeaky, whiny, noise!
Nell:
Jean: Hey!
[A few seconds later]
Cyclops: Hey.
Jubilee: It's not fair! I didn't get a go! I could have got a point.
-Nell closes her eyes ready for all hell to break loose –
Enter: Mr Motivator
Mr M: Now kids – don't try this at home these people are trained experts.
Nell: No we're not.
[Music Starts]
Mr M: Everybody in a line hup and down and stretch and point and reach and
[Mr M start's exercising everyone joins in except Nell. Miss piggy falls over.
Audience laugh. BIG MISTAKE!!]
[Piggy marches up to Mr M and gets him to bend down]
Piggy: Mister Motivator
Mr M: Yes
Piggy: Motivate THIS HI-YA!
[Piggy whack's mister motivator who flies through the scenery.]
Audience and Nell Cheer: Yay! Go Miss Piggy!
Piggy: Why thank you!
Cyclops: Why did you do that? Exercise is good.
[Everyone ignores him they are too busy watching Veni dancing on the desk making a prat out of herself with a bottle of Cherry Ade in her hand]
Cyclops: Hey! Listen to me! I'm the leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeder!
Nell: Shurrup Scooter.
Cyke: Nooo. You are all meeeean! Slumps down on the floor next to Jubilee.
Jubilee: Join the club.
Cyclops: Why are you so nasty.
Nell: Why? WHY? – Cue music!
[Michael Jackson's "Bad" Blasts through speakers. Nell and Veni dance – oblivious to the fact everyone is deafened. Cyclops blasts the speakers causing a big explosion and a load of smoke. The smoke clears]
Billion's of Lilliputians are swarming all over Cyke holding him down.
Cyclops: Jean! Help me my love. Jean?
Jean just stands there.
Jean: Malfunction.
Jean explodes.
Cyclops: My dear Gawd! Jean was an android Nooooo!
Audience: Not just an android a fembot!
Enter fembots who begin their dance to "These boot were made for walking"
Bobby runs up to them and gazes in rapture.
Suddenly the lights on stage go off.
Director: That's a rap everybody.
Jubilee: Wait a second. Like, aren't you gonna explain what's happening?
Director: Don't ask me- ask the author.
Author Appears with pen and paper in hand.
Nell: Hi Rowena S
Veni: Yo!
Rowena S: Hi guys.
Jubilee: You're the one who caused all this?
Rowena S: Maybe…
Cyclops: Why you {goes to blast her)
Rowena S: I wouldn't do that if I were you (scribbles on paper)
Cyclops: Why Not?
Rowena S (scribbles some more): Because in my story I am in control.
Guy off the Muppets appears and throws a boomerang fish at Cyke it hits him in the face.
Guy: Throw ze fish away it come back to me ahah!
Cyclops: Why you…
Rowena S: Ah – Ah- Ah! Next time I'll make you eat your toes. Or turn you into a squelchy thing.
Cyke stops and whinges: It's not faiiir! You killed Jean!
Jean: I'm right here Scott.
Cyke: But- But- you were….
Rowena S: its called fiction one eye get used to it.
The End
(Or is it?!?)
Notes: I'm sorry I know it's madness but it got a bit
confusing and- I'd just read loads of stuff by smiley face ( :o)