Merry Thanksgiving! Me and a friend of mine were discussing what life would be like if we said "Merry Thanksgiving" or "Happy Christmas" instead of "Happy Thanksgiving" or "Merry Christmas" and we decided... THE WORLD WOULD END!
This is my first one-shot that is actually not a poem. I hope it doesn't suck badly, and make your brains rot. I just got this idea while I was helping my aunts plan our traditional Thanksgiving party, and one of my very pregnant aunts was very grumpy.
I don't own the oh-so-amazing Jonas Brothers, or any of the other Camp Rock cast that are mentioned in this story.
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"Shane! Mitchie! Happy Thanksgiving!" Nate greeted as Shane, and his very pregnant wife, Mitchie. "How's it going? Haven't seen you two in months! How's the little guy coming along? And how's the other little guy, Jacob?" Nate asked, hugging Mitchie and placing a hand lightly on her growing stomach.
"Get your hand the fuck off me Nate." Mitchie growled, and Nate's hand flew off.
"Whoa. Touchy, eh?" Caitlyn giggled, kissing Nate's cheek and hugging Shane and Mitchie. "Aw, I felt the baby kick!" She shrieked, placing her own hand in the exact same spot Nate had, only Mitchie didn't protest.
"What?! I did that, and you bitched me off!" Nate pouted, and Caitlyn rolled your eyes.
"Don't use that kind of language around the kids!" Caitlyn smacked him playfully, just as Mitchie and Shane's 5-year old son, Jacob, stumbled through the door. Ultimately, he'd inherited his mother's clumsiness. "Jakey!"
Caitlyn and Nate both hugged the little boy, who grinned, showing off his teeth. "Mom's being a bitch because he's got pregnant women hormones!" He exclaimed, and Shane, Caitlyn, and Mitchie became shocked while Nate blushed, rubbing his neck sheepishly.
"Where did you learn that?" Shane asked incredilously, and Jacob pointed to Nate.
"Uncle Nate told me that, then he gave me 30 smackers." Jacob said plainly, then skipped off to greet the other kids, leaving a very blushing Nate in the middle of the 3 adults.
"You gave him 30 dollars?!" Caitlyn shrieked.
"You told my son I was a bitch?!" Mitchie screeched.
"You taught him about hormones?!" Shane roared, and let's just say Nate was in a hell-of-a-lot-of trouble.
XTHE-STORY-IS-NOT-OVER-YET-FOLKS!-THIS-IS-JUST-MY-TOTALLY-AWESOME-PAGE-BREAKER-LINEY-THING!X
After the "My mom's a bitch because of hormones" incident, the 3 families, Nate and Caitlyn, Shane and Mitchie, and Jason and Ella, who had arrived later, settled down to eat Thanksgiving dinner.
They prayed for a few minutes, then they decided to play their annual Thanksgiving game: "What Am I Thankful For?"
Shane started first. "I am thankful for my beautiful wife Mitchie, my annoying son Jake, and my soon-to-be daughter, Melanie." He then nodded at Mitchie, who was rolling her eyes.
"I'm thankful for my jerk-of-a-husband, Shane, my very sweet son, Jacob, and my daughter, Melanie." She gestured toward Jacob, who was bouncing in his seat like the hyper monkey he was.
"I'm thankful because Uncle Nate gave me 30 bucks, so I'm gonna go spend it on video games!" He exclaimed happily, while Caitlyn slapped a sheepish Nate for the 11th time.
Nate came next. "I'm thankful because I've got a very merciful wife who's really, really pretty, and is the best wife ever. Oh, and my daughter, Victoria."
"I'm thankful because my husband is the dumbest man on Earth, but I've got an extremely smart daughter to even it out." Caitlyn smirked, and Nate grinned, blushing.
"I'm thankful because my dad's clueless about women, and it just so happens that he is the only man in the house." Victoria sneered, and she and her mother cast dark looks at a terrified Nate.
Jason came next. "I'm thankful for birds!" He piped, while Ella and their twin daughter and son, Evan and Scarlett, were left in the dust. "Oh, and my beautiful wife Ella and my children Evan and Scarlett." He added breathlessly.
"I'm thankful because Jason did not end up naming our kids Tweety and Birdy." Ella smiled.
The twins went, saying, "We're thankful because Uncle Nate gave us each 40 dollars." While Caitlyn began to pummel Nate again, and Jake complained of getting less money than the twins.
After that, the families dug in to the enormous Thanksgiving dinner, unaware that they would all gain about 10 pounds, and lessen their life spans, do to the fact that they were just adding to the already-obese American population.
"Merry Thanksgiving!" Jason exclaimed, but no one paid much attention.
"Jase, it's 'Happy Thanksgiving'." Nate was about to correct, but at that particular moment, Caitlyn had knocked his face into the mashed potatos, so his voice wasn't heard over the hustle-and-bustle of Thanksgiving.
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Merry Thanksgiving! Was that like, a really bad one-shot, or what? I know, it stunk. Anyway, have a great Thanksgiving! I hope that this didn't really offend anyone, and I hope it got a laugh out of a few people, even though it sucked like a vacuum. Ha, ha, geddit? Geddit? Oh, why do I even try?