So as promised, here's a happier and crackier SasuSaku fic. I really don't know what made me think of this—I think my nail polish fumes have been getting to me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, and its characters should be very thankful.
Manicure
"Oh my god. I can't believe this. OH. MY. GOD."
Silence. And then bark snapping.
"OH MY GOD. OH HOLY RAMEN AND FISHCAKES. THIS—THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? RIGHT?! YOU'RE JUST MAD AT ME FOR WRITING OVER YOUR ICHA ICHA, OR, OR FOR PUTTING A PINK HANDKERCHEIF IN PLACE OF YOUR MASK, OR—"
Kakashi hushed him with a slap to the head. This was the problem with Naruto and stealth missions—that boy knew stealth as much as Sasuke knew emotion. Or so they had thought.
Naruto quieted down. Barely. "Oh my god. LOOK at them! He—they—oh lord, they have to be fakes, right? RIGHT?!" His voice was rising again, and this time he looked dangerously close to clawing his eyes out and swallowing them.
"Yes, I am indeed looking, Naruto, and no, they do not appear to be fakes, scary as it seems. Now shut up before we're found out."
Ok, so maybe sitting on a tree right outside Sasuke's bedroom wasn't the best place to spy on them, but when they had seen Sasuke and Sakura go into his bedroom, Kakashi just couldn't resist following. And it had absolutely nothing to do with his 'inner pervert', as Sakura had christened it. Naruto had followed and howled his complaints, wanting to make sure that the 'idiot' didn't do anything to their 'cherry blossom'.
They did not expect to see this. Anything but this. In fact, raunchy behavior and a romp in the bed sheets was steadily becoming more and more welcome than this.
Naruto let out a guttural moan of despair as Sasuke moved on to the next one, oblivious to the two intruders a mere ten feet from his window. Kakashi was less dramatic, but even he wanted to burst out laughing. Or crying. He wasn't sure which, yet.
"I can't take this anymore! Kakashi-senpai, he's—he's painting her nails, for chrissakes! PAINTING them! HE—WHEN DID HE EVEN LEARN HOW TO PAINT NAILS?! OH MY GOD OF PANTLEGS, MY MIND IS BROKEN!!!"
Kakashi again quieted him with a blow to the head, and he obligingly shut up with only another groan of how his world was ending. Kakashi shook his head disbelievingly. He had always known that the boy's obvious feelings for her would get the better of him sooner or later, but this? Really now, what was that boy on? He hadn't been sniffing rotten tomatoes, had he?
-X-
Three hours ago, Sakura had blearily stumbled through the door to his enormous house, muttering a garbled greeting even as she yawned and kicked off her shoes.
"What's the matter with you?" he had asked, raising a brow and gently tugging her towards the couch before she fell on her face.
"Long day at the hospital," she muttered, rubbing her eyes. Gratefully, she accepted the mug of hot tea Sasuke handed her. That boy's really getting good in the boyfriend department, she thought affectionately.
"Why don't you take a nap?" he suggested, not liking the way she looked. Any minute now and she'd dunk her face into her tea.
"Can't," she mumbled tiredly. "Promised Ino I'd go to her birthday party later. She'll hang me by my entrails if I don't go." She sipped at the tea and sighed, grudgingly getting up to go prepare—
Only to be swooped up and deposited on Sasuke's bed in no more than ten seconds. And his room was on the second floor, mind you.
Sakura blinked intelligently. She was too tired to think—hell, she was so tired she didn't even want to use her brain right now. So she stared and called after Sasuke as he walked right back out the door…
…only to come back holding her dress for the party?
"Uh…"
Sasuke placed the dress neatly on a chair, then looked at her expectantly. Oh, right, she should probably say something right about now.
"Where'd you get that?"
"I had a feeling you'd be stopping by," Sasuke said cryptically.
"Oh. Ok…" Sakura paused and seemed to think for a while. "You're not planning on wearing that, are you?"
Sakura wilted slightly under Sasuke's glare, which somehow managed to come across as both exasperated and annoyed. For a man with such limited facial expressions, he sure knew how to use them.
"No, Sakura, I am not planning on wearing this." Sakura scowled at the way he said it, as if she were a two-year-old child. Well, at least he took pity on her exhaustion and voiced his thoughts instead of the usual 'hn' with the all-purpose 'you-should-understand-what-I-mean-you-mere-mortal' tone.
Crossing her arms, she muttered, "Then what the hell are you doing with it?" Inwardly, she winced. It had come out sharper than she had intended. Exhaustion was finally taking its toll on her. Stifling a yawn again, she just barely caught his reply.
"…it'll be ready when you wake up." He looked at her, waiting patiently.
"Huh?"
If Sasuke's stare said anything, she had just once again proved that she had the mental capacity of a pill bug. Sheared in half. And her mind was the butt half.
"I said…" There he goes again with that 'I'm-talking-to-an-idiot' tone. "…that I'm going to put the dress here," he stared at her, still speaking slowly, "so it'll be right there when you wake up."
Even dead tired, Sakura was still a feisty one. "Stop talking like that. I'm not an idiot, Saucecakes."
She cried an inward scream of triumph as his eye twitched. She'd have to go ask Naruto for some more nicknames later.
Just as she was about to taunt him further, another yawn escaped her.
Sasuke's eyes softened. He could leave the battle of wits for later—right now, she needed some sleep. This time, she was in danger of falling face-down on the floor, not merely into a cup of tea.
Sakura felt hands settle her into bed and pull the covers up. Sighing happily, she gratefully sank into the soft pillow and snuggled under the covers.
"Get some rest, Sakura. I'll wake you up before the party." She didn't need him to tell her twice. But before that…
She twisted around so she could see him, sitting on the edge of the bed, brushing her soft pink locks back. She loved watching him at times like these. His eyes grew soft and his mouth was less of a hard slash across his face. Even his hair seemed perkier. Sakura mentally giggled at the thought of a perky chicken's butt.
"Promise?"
"Promise." His grin made her melt even more.
"Good, because Ino will kill me if I miss another one of her parties," Sakura murmured sleepily, finally letting the grasping tendrils of sleep pull her into their embrace.
The last thing she felt was a hand gently tracing her cheek and settling the covers into place.
-X-
Sasuke stared at the girl sleeping before him, and should Naruto and Kakashi be witness to this, they would have flat out fainted at the adoration clearly visible in his eyes.
That's right. Sasuke was staring at a girl, adoring her even. With no bloody thoughts on his mind. At all.
He got up and let her sleep. Glancing up at the clock, he remembered Sakura saying the party would be at 7. Good, that should give her at least a good three hours. She certainly needed it, too—when she first walked in, he had immediately thought of a drunkard who had walked all the way from one end of town and back, with a flashlight shined in her eyes at every step. The bags under her eyes signified a good three days without sleep, and if her tottering had anything to say, she hadn't eaten much in those three days, either.
Crossing the hall, Sasuke went to go pick up the other items he had gotten ready. It seemed his prediction that Sakura would come by was spot on. Returning to the room, he could barely keep the smile off his lips. It pleased him a great deal that even with a schedule as tight as hers, she still made time for him.
He had no doubt that once she was fully coherent, she would demand answers. Like how he got into her house. He had a feeling that the knowledge that he had a spare key to her home would not go over very well…
Not to mention he had spent quite a bit of time in her bedroom rifling through drawers and closets for the damned dress. (Who knew bras had removable straps? Hell, who knew you could buy the straps separate?) In fact, he had just gotten back to his house before she showed up. Being the Uchiha Sasuke, he of course hardly looked ruffled at all. For all intents and purposes, he had been in his home all day. He, sneak into girls' homes and take their belongings? Why, never!
However, he had never been so glad of her ramblings; if it weren't for her incessant chatter, he would never have known which dress she was planning to wear. Women. They had far too many clothes than was strictly necessary. And then the shoes—oh god, the shoes. He had spent all of an hour just to try to find the shoes that went with the dress. He wondered if all females dedicated an entire closet to what went on their feet.
And then he had to find all the other accompaniments, too.
Speaking of accompaniments, he remembered something and went back to the room in his house that he had internally dubbed "Sakura's (Very) Large Room of Preparation". Coming back out with a mischievous smirk on his face, he opened his hand to display his prize: a bottle of nail polish.
With that, he went to work, a sly grin gracing his face all the while.
Oh, it was so worth it to see Sakura's expression when she realized what was going on.
If Sasuke had turned around, he could have been witness to a shell-shocked Naruto plummeting out of his tree as Kakashi gaped, causing his forehead protector to fall over both eyes.
-X-
"HE—HE—!" Naruto quickly clawed his way back up the tree and latched on to Kakashi's back. "HE—AAARHFDHFD."
Kakashi merely continued staring, mouth opened wide enough to swallow fish whole, and pushed his forehead protector back up. (The fact that his mask covered his mouth just made him appear all the more hilarious.)
"Is he humming?" From their perch, Sasuke did indeed look like he was humming.
"GAAAAAAAAAH NOW HE'S HUMMING?! OH MY GOD WHAT HAS BECOME OF OUR EMO-PRINCESS?! WHERE ARE THE DARK CLOUDS OF IMPENDING DOOM?! WHERE ARE THE WAILS OF LITTLE BABIES TRAILING AFTER HIM?! WHERE IS HIS EMO?! AAAAAAAAAAAH---HKKRGRK!" Naruto's incessant wailing was cut off as Kakashi simultaneously choked him and shoved him out the tree. Two for two now, Naruto.
The older man stroked his chin speculatively as Naruto noisily shuffled around in the grass. Hm, this is quite a turn of events.
"Hnnnnfffff…"
"Quite interesting indeed…"
"Waaaaaaah, Sakuraaaaaaa—!"
"Since when did the boy develop hormones?"
"SAKURAAA! Stay away from him! He's a devil! He's a—a demon in sheep's skin! Or—um, a, a wolf in—!"
"Naruto, stop sniffling and stop whining before I drag you back up here and kick you off all over again."
"…yes, sensei."
"And stop pawing at Sasuke's wall."
-x-
"Sasuke!"
"Hm?"
"Did you—did you paint my nails?"
"Aa."
"…really?"
"Aa."
"Why?"
"You're running late, aren't you? And stop laughing at me."
"Heh—sorry, sorry."
"You're still snickering. And snorting like a pig in heat."
"Hey! I resent that. And—oh! You even got the shoes!"
"Aa."
"Ok, seriously. Stop saying that."
"Yes, mistress."
"Good—wait, what?!"
"Nothing."
"…"
"...you're still laughing, aren't you."
"Sorry, sorry! But really—thanks, Sasuke. I..I appreciate this. God knows how you talked yourself into doing it."
"A—mm."
"Say, would you like to be my date for the party?"
"…"
"…please?"
"Fine. Seeing as how I have nothing better to do, and knowing you, you'd fall asleep in the punch bowl."
"That, of course, translates to 'Why yes, Sakura! I would love to go as your date, you beautiful, entrancing woman, you!', right?"
"…sure."
"Knew you'd see it my way."
"Mm."
"…hang on. Sasuke?"
"Hn?"
"How'd you get all this stuff in the first place?"
"…uh…"
THE END!
Oh snap, Sasuke's in for it now. Gragh, I hated the transitioning in this one—seems all choppy and awkward. Anywho—heehee, I love throwing Kakashi and Naruto in there for comic relief. Those two are great.
I hope you like it~ I'm quite the sucker for fluff, not that you could tell from my previous SasuSaku fic.
Read and review and the faeries will bring you cookies.