She's Not A Sue, I Swear

by I'm Not Wearing Any Pants

She just has special needs that force everyone to devote constant special attention to her while she bends all previously known canon to her every fickle whim. That's all.

I do not own any Ben 10 characters, nor do I claim to. I have no words. I've been sitting here shaking my head for the past two minutes. Downing cup after cup of cocoa. Wondering why I chose to waste my life in such a way. Trying to make my friends laugh in the face of steady raging weeaboo fantard induced pain. Woe is me.

D'Void was sobbing hysterically once again in the Null Void in his posh mansion which lay within the Null Void in that one episode I've managed to milk for almost three hundred stories, all sharing similar plots and recurrent themes. I am a fantastic writer in that respect. Possibly the best who ever wrote for Ben 10. At least I continue to assert to everyone around me who dares criticize my work.

His precious, disgusting not at all a Mary Sue but is SUCH a fucking Mary Sue Null Guardian baby booby-dooby woo-woo thing was sick again, for the umpteenth million time. She lay dying, sobbing hysterically, oh joy. I mean, oh sad. So very, very sad. Let us break out the tissues. He randomly happened upon a FUCKING PLASTIC TIARA princess thing and placed it on the NULL GUARDIAN BABY's head. Er, it's head area. They have necks fused into their heads and backsides rather than actual heads. Jesus. I can't even with this anymore. It's gone from ridiculous to even further beyond that. I don't even know how to describe that. Somewhere past Lovecraftiant in its unfathomable absurdity.

"I got my slaves to make this for you because that somehow makes it more fucking logical," D'Void cooed at her. He slammed his face against the nearest wall. "It makes sense to me!"

The baby-Sue thing coughed up blood and tragically died for the hundredth millionth time.

"OH NO! SHE DED AGAIN! ME SAD!" D'Void sobbed hysterically while crying as tears streamed down his blushing cheeks. "Why does this keep happening? Why can't someone write me into anything but more bad stupid parodies based off bad stupid serious fanfictions? WHY?!"

Maybe one day somebody would. But today is not that day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either. Or the rest of the month.

And then D'Void shit his pants.

"DAMN YOU!" he screamed before falling to his knees.

The End