See You on the Other Side
Yu Yu Hakusho
Moregami
A/N: Just a means for me to vent.
He wanders aimlessly a lot these days, doesn't he? The first one inquires to the group, eager at first but suddenly hesitant to hear their answers.
Hasn't he always? The second jeers, laughing heartily with the rest of the clan; spilling his drink all around, sending generous droplets flying through the air. They splashed against the ground, all their multi-colored and reflective glory lost into oblivion. Oblivion.
He says that word a lot-the boy that is.
Oblivion.
Oblivion.
Hiei was a lost child. An unwanted child- these bandits only wanted him to use him. He understood that much more than they did themselves.
A long drawn-out sigh escaped his lips, unable to be suppressed at his throat; it paved its way out. Just like him, it was demanding to be noticed. He felt frustrated at things he didn't know you could be frustrated about, angry at anyone who came his way and disappointed at their lack of interest in him. Why didn't they love him? Stupid. Stupid unnecessary feelings of agony.
And despair.
And Oblivion.
Oblivion.
Things would have been different. Obviously. Around his mother that is. He still ached for her whenever he slept, the gentle ghost of a figure he never knew nor touched, still haunted him. He tried to be brave.
No.
He WAS brave, but she made it so hard. He never loved anyone more than this being with such vigor. But he made an excellent show of hiding it. Engulfing his interests with shadows and coating them with the magnanimous darkness of his soul is what he did best. He had a reputation as the fiercest 5-year-old the Spirit World had ever seen; and he intended to keep it that way. An odd satisfaction was achieved when the Elders of his mother's tribe called him a monster. It felt good. It felt right. He had now made it his personal legend to prove them right and to somehow make sure she had died in vain. If they even felt slightly threatened by his mother's courage, they would resort to breaking Yukina. The beautiful ice which had been embedded into her soul by birth. No, he couldn't let them do that to his beloved sister. They could break him instead- he didn't mind. In fact, that kind of pain was safer.
But never the less, things changed. After all these years, the waves of pain crashed against his shore of indifference; wearing it down to nothing. Absolutely nothing- all these unnecessary feelings were gone forever. Lost into oblivion with his conscience and his mother- about time. But the surviving relic of her love still remained. And he still treasured it. He would often find himself gazing into the crystalized tears of his mother, the very tears she wept for him- for them all to spare him. But the world is cruel. And so were the elders.
The time flew by on wings and he barely seemed to notice. New challenges that he had to face, new outsiders that he had to meet- that detective and his noisy friend were nothing but dust on his mantle. That pain-who-spoke-the-truth….was bearable. At least, for now.
He didn't expect much out of this world and neither did he expect much out of his "teammates'. But they slowly began to grow on him, that smart one itched his way into his heart and became a valuable friend. They all did.
It was disgusting.
Ever since the spirit detective had some sense knocked into him; and all those attention-seeking urges left him, he always tried to tread around all instances of "love" and "happiness" very carefully. In the end; they were meaningless. Just like everything else. They were just meant to be lost into oblivion.
Oblivion.
But that doesn't necessarily mean that all those feelings had died away.
.
.
.
Standing there; on top of a tree top he felt unchained, unbound by the complication of others and their feelings. Here, he could whisper to the wind; where all his words would be lost forever.
There is a possibility of me joining you mother, he says. But not today, not tomorrow and not from a million years from now. But when that time undoubtedly comes- I know you'll be waiting for me. Then hopefully, I'll be sent to the same place that you had been.
See you on the other side.