Disclaimer: I don't own Mario, Donkey Kong, or any other Nintendo franchises.

Author's Notes: I came up with this story idea a while ago, but I was too busy with my Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story novelization to spare the time to write it down, and then the motivation kinda left me for a while thanks to school stress. But then I caught a cold, and my interest in the story came right back.

The Doctor's House Call

She couldn't lie to herself anymore: Pauline was sick. Her nose had been dripping all morning and was red from rubbing, matching her bloodshot eyes as she made her way down the rainy street, hunched against the wind. It was a relief when she got to the pharmacy, glad it was still open despite the late hour. She had toughed it out all day, but as sleep eluded her, she realized that she couldn't go without help any longer: she needed sleep, and for that, she needed something to take the edge off the cold, just for a few hours.

She had never been to the little corner drug store before – she usually went to the big brand name store farther down the road, but she was cold and wet and tired, and the longer walk wasn't worth it. But looking at the no-name bottles of vividly-coloured capsules and failing to decipher the fine-print scientific jargon that took the place of the familiar logos of Big Pharma, she wondered if she'd have to hoof it after all.

"Can I-a help you?"

Pauline looked up at the store employee who had spoken. He had been mopping the next isle over, but the shelves were elbow-level so she could see him just fine. He was a short man, so much so that the shelves were almost up to his lab-coat-clad shoulders, but he looked like he was at least early 20s, with a full moustache obscuring his friendly smile. She sniffed. "It's okay, I'm just looking for some nighttime cold medicine."

"Mama-mia, you don't have the-a flu, do you?"

"No, I think it's just a cold," said Pauline, shaking her head but wincing as her clogged sinuses protested the movement.

"That's-a relief," said the man. "The flu's a bad one this year – it-a causes spontaneous transformations."

"I've heard – it's dreadful."

"Si. Now, forget the-a nighttime medicine, bella, we need to-a get ahead of this cold so that it doesn't-a weaken you and-a make it easier for you to catch-a the flu," said the clerk, circling around the end of the isle and joining Pauline in front of the pills. "Trust-a Dr. Mario, being-a transformed is not always so cracked up to be, especially for a beautiful lady, hmmm? And I'm-a not just saying that because red's-a my favourite colour."

Pauline smiled at the compliment as the friendly 'doctor' winked at her. Despite the fact that he wore a lab coat and even a stethoscope as his work uniform, she was sure he wasn't a real doctor, of course, and she was sure he was just saying what he did to make her feel better about looking and feeling like a mangy, drowned rat. Normally she was quite the looker, but between her puffy face, messy bed-head and wet, rumpled dress, she knew she was not one to earn compliments.

But it was the thought that counts, and she appreciated the good 'doctor''s intentions as he looked back and forth from the pills to Pauline, trying to come up with a diagnosis. "Do you have-a the Fever?"

"No, just really bad congestion."

"Hmmm, si, it does-a look like the-a head cold." Mario pondered for a minute more, and then his face lit up and he reached down to the bottom shelf and picked out a bottle of mucus-green pills. "I got it! These are-a the best Megavitamins for a runny nose and-a sinus headaches. We don't-a sell many of them because all the peoples have-a the Fever or the Chills, so-a Nurse Toadstool makes-a me put them waaaay down here, but-a trust Dr. Mario, they'll-a help you feel better in-a no time, wahoo!"

Pauline smiled at Mario's exuberance. "Are you always this enthusiastic about helping people finding the right meds?"

"Oh, si, helping people feel better is what-a Dr. Mario does – especially pretty princesses, hmmm? Come, let's-a-go to the checkout."

Pauline tried to chuckle, but it came out as more of a cross between a snort and a duck quack courtesy of the excessive mucus lining her airways, but Mario didn't seem to mind the unladylike sound coming from the so-called 'princess'. As he rang her up, Pauline tried to make small-talk. "Did you know there's a Princess Toadstool over in the Mushroom Kingdom."

Mario nodded. "Oh yeah. My-a boss looks-a just like her – which is why I-a call her 'Nurse Toadstool' when she's-a not around."

"Not to her face?" Pauline grinned wryly at the cheeky clerk.

"Oh nooo! She-a looks like-a princess, but she's not-a nice like one. And that's what-a really matters… That'll be-a ten coins."

"Well, then you better hope word doesn't get back to her that you call her names behind her back," said Pauline as she fished out the money from her pocket.

"It's a compliment," shrugged Mario.

"Still, you're playing a dangerous game, Doctor… Mario, wasn't it?" she smiled as she handed over the coins.

"Si, that's-a me, Dr. Mario. And-a dangerous games are what make life fun." Mario smiled as he gave Pauline her medicine in a small paper bag. "Take care, bella, and-a be careful of the-a time limit for the Megavitamins: only take-a two or less every four fours, and no more."

"Thanks, I will," smiled Pauline, turning to go. But in the end, she only needed to take the initial pair of pills, for when she woke up, her symptoms were almost completely gone. She wasn't sure if it was just her cold taking its natural course or if the Megavitamins really helped, but she was grateful either way.

In fact, as the days went on, she started feeling more and more like she should go back and let 'Dr. Mario' know how good she was feeling. He just seemed like such a nice fellow, and she figured he'd appreciate her letting him know that his time and advice had worked and been appreciated. But then she started to wonder if he'd even remember her – he seemed like the type who would, but then again, she had just been some random woman who came into his shop one rainy night and talked for a couple minutes, bought a bottle of pills and left. Hardly the sale of the week.

But the longer she put it off, the more she found herself thinking of him and his sincere well-wishes, innocent happiness and honest compliments. He was no silver-tongued suitor courting a pretty woman in red – he was a nice guy helping out a sick customer and making her feel good about herself despite the snot and rain dripping down her nose. And one day as she walked past the drug store on her way home from work, she decided that the longer she put it off, the more likely it would be that he would forget her, and before she could talk herself out of it, she turned on her heel and pulled open the pharmacy door.

But Dr. Mario wasn't there. There was only a woman in what looked like pink nurse's uniform with a matching cap reading a magazine at the cash, not even looking up to see who had come in. A little disheartened, Pauline thought about leaving and coming back, but decided that she might as well find out when the man she was looking for would be in next. She walked up to the counter, and only then did the 'nurse' lower her reading material, revealing an uncanny resemblance to a certain foreign Mushroom Princess.

"Can I help you?" asked 'Nurse Toadstool' flatly, her eyebrow raised.

"Um, I was just wondering when Mario would be in next? He gave me some medicine that really helped me the other night, and I'd like to thank him."

"'Fraid 'Dr. Mario' ain't coming in next," said Toadstool.

"What do you mean?"

"He quit. He gave me his two week's notice on the first, and handed over his scrubs and stethoscope Wednesday."

"What?"

"Sorry honey," shrugged Toadstool, turning back to her magazine.

"But do you know where he's working now? I really want to thank him."

"Some construction site. Or maybe a demolition site, I dunno." Toadstool didn't even look back up: she knew Pauline wasn't there to buy anything, so she wasn't interested in helping her out. Mario was right, she was no graceful princess.

Pauline thanked her for her time anyway and left the pharmacy with a frown. If only she'd come back right away, she might not have missed him. She got home and kicked off her shoes and tried to distract herself with the TV, but it was no use – she just kept dwelling on that missed connection. Wondering if reading would get her mind off things, a stray though occurred to Pauline and she hurried to the kitchen. She pulled out the phone directory for Big Ape City from the back of one of the cupboards and flipped to the M's. She knew it was a longshot, and that 'Mario' was probably his first name, not his last name, but then again, he'd nicknamed his boss 'Nurse Toadstool', not 'Nurse Peach', so maybe there was a chance for her.

Still, it was a pleasant surprise when she found that there was someone with the surname 'Mario' in the phonebook. Two of them, actually, for the phone number was attributed to 'M&L', which made Pauline fear that perhaps her doctor was already taken – snapped up young by someone else.

"Wait a minute, what am I saying?" Pauline admonished herself out-loud. It didn't matter to her if Mario was married: she just wanted to say 'thank you', right? Wrong. Say thank you and ask the refreshingly ulterior-motive-less fellow out on a date was more like it. "I'm being silly," she sighed to herself as her thoughts galloped. Maybe he was married, maybe it was really his parents listed there and he just lived with them, or maybe he couldn't be reached at that number at all – although Pauline recognized the address as being somewhat close to her own apartment, so maybe...

"Only one way to find out," she resolved to herself as she reached over, picked up the phone and started dialing. If it was the wrong number, she'd say 'sorry', and if was the right number but he was taken, she'd say 'thank you' and either way, it'd be the end of it. And if he was available… then maybe it wouldn't be the end of it.

"Hallo?"

Pauline nearly jumped in her seat as someone picked up the phone. "Um hello?"

"Yes, hallo?" It wasn't Mario's voice, but whoever it was had a similar accent, so perhaps they were related.

"Yes, hi, I'm looking for…" Pauline then stopped short, realizing she hadn't planned this very well through. She couldn't just as for 'Mario' because that was his last name and probably this guy's name too, but she didn't know his first name. "Um, I'm looking for Doctor… Mario?"

Pauline gritted her teeth and closed her eyes, anticipating confusion or skepticism or worse, but the guy on the line didn't seem fazed at all.

"Ok, okay… Hey bro, you've got a call."

Brothers? Of course! Pauline grinned when she heard what the man on the phone had called out. She hadn't even considered it could be a pair of bothers – her doctor included. But she wasn't sure it was him yet, and she tried to smother the smile before she got her hopes up too high, but the new voice that came through the line plastered it right back on.

"It's-a-me, Mario!"

"Dr. Mario?"

"Oh yeah!"

"I can't believe it!" Pauline was beaming. "I was sure that 'Mario' was your first name, not your last, but-"

"It's-a-both."

"Wait, what?"

"It's-a my first name, and my-a last name. Mario Mario."

"What? But that's so… why?" Pauline struggled to not be rude in her befuddlement.

"It's a long story."

"Oh, well, maybe you could tell me. Over dinner, perhaps, if you're free sometime?" she smiled as she recovered.

"I'm-a always free for some-a dinner."

"Great!"

"But I do have-a one question," said Mario. "Who are you?"

"Who am… oh my Stars, I am so sorry, I completely forgot!" Now Pauline really did feel like she had a Fever as her face turned bright red. "I'm sorry, I'm usually much more composed than this!"

Mario laughed. "It's-a okay, bella, any conversation that leads to-a food is-a good one."

Pauline chuckled a bit too. "Well, yes, I suppose so. Anyway, my name's Pauline – I'm the woman you gave those Megavitamins to the other day. I mean, the other night, during the rain, and they were green?"

"Oh yeah, I-a remember now. You were the-a pretty lady in red. I guess you are-a feeling better, hmm?"

"Yes, much – which is why I called: I wanted to say thank-you for taking the time to help me."

"Dr. Mario is always-a happy to help. Especially if-a the pretty ladies then give me-a thank-you dinners."

"Well, the dinner's not technically part of the thank-you," said Pauline, a little sheepishly.

"Oh, it's not?"

"Mm-mm," she shook her head as she spoke. "I just want to, you know, get to know you. You seemed so nice, so I thought it'd be nice to see you again… as a date."

"…"

"Is that okay?"

"Si! Of course! Let's-a go!"

"Wait, today? Right now?"

"Oh yeah. Why not?"

"Umm… well…" Pauline wasn't really the spontaneous type, but then again, she wasn't usually the type to cold-call quirky store clerks she met on midnight (over-the-counter) drug runs. She'd come that far, might as well keep up the momentum. "Sounds like fun!"

"Oh yeah. Let's-a meet at the-a pasta place across from the big construction site on-a 23rd street. Do you-a know it?"

"Yes." She knew the site, anyway: the previous building was still getting demolished, but it was said that the replacement would be the biggest tower in the entire Booklyn borough of Big Ape City.

"Eccellente! I'll-a-see you in-a fifteen minutes."

"Fift… wait!" Pauline could only be spontaneous to a point. "I can't get there nearly that fast – I'd have to run the whole way!"

"My bro and I-a run everywhere," said Mario simply.

"Really?" Pauline was surprised – the short, rotund man in the faux-doctor drug store uniform hadn't struck her as the athletic type, and his loge of food this conversation seemed a bit incompatible as well.

"Oh yeah, we treat everything like a race. And-a Mario's always number one."

"I win sometimes!"

"Shhh, Luigi, I'm on the phone with a molto bella donna!"

Pauline chuckled at the Mario brothers' exchange. "How about we meet in an hour?"

"Okey-dokey," said Mario, not sounding at disappointed. "But I'll-a be very hungry by then."

Pauline smiled. "Don't worry, so will I. See you then?"

"Oh yeah!"

As she put the phone down, Pauline smiled to herself. She wasn't exactly sure what she was getting herself into with a man like Mario, but she knew one thing for sure: it was bound to be an adventure, and she was looking forward to it.

And she owed it all to the common cold.

The End