Killian was right where she left him, a dejected figure hunched on the cot in the jail cell, not even trying to leave though the door was wide open.
It broke Emma's heart to see him this way, knowing that she was partly to blame.
The last thing she'd needed with all this Snow Queen b.s. was having to go down to the Rabbit Hole and bust up a fight; to find out that Killian was the one instigating the fight was just icing on that particular cake. He'd had a few drinks and gone after Will Scarlet who was "minding me own bloody business, thank you," and managed to draw a number of other patrons into the brawl along the way.
Will had magnanimously agreed not to press charges this time, but that hadn't stopped her from hauling Hook into the jail cell and demanding to know what the hell he was thinking.
So he told her.
Sitting on the edge of the cot, leaned over with elbows on his thighs, he'd stared at the floor, head down like the weight of all the secrets was more than he could bear. In a low voice, he'd told her everything about his hand, blackmailing Gold about the dagger, the supposed curse, everything.
She knew it wasn't easy for him to tell her what happened with Gold and his hand, and when he'd finally lifted his eyes to hers she could see the mix of fear and resignation all over his face. He expected her to reject him after what he'd done.
And she had, in a way, storming out of the sheriff's station on a tear, so angry she couldn't even speak.
He'd lied to her, and even though she understood why he'd done it, it still hurt that he didn't trust her.
She was angry with herself, too, because if she was being honest she had to admit that she'd known something wasn't right. The idea that Gold would just generously give anything to his enemy was crazy, but she hadn't questioned it. Killian's behavior had been a little off at times, but she hadn't even wanted to consider why. She'd wanted to stay in her happy little bubble where she could have this one thing of her own without the world screwing with her.
Most of all, she was angry with Gold. Yes, Killian had made a mistake, but Gold had gone right for his weak points without mercy. The pain and certainty in Killian's voice when he spoke about the darkness inside himself showed how seriously he'd taken what Gold had told him. He actually thought he wasn't worthy of her, and Gold had obviously reinforced that stupid idea.
It was time she let Gold know she was done with him going after her family.
But first, she had to make things right with Killian.
He had to know she was there, but he didn't look up as she walked to the cell.
"You don't need me to tell you what a stupid idea it was to blackmail the Dark One," she began, standing in front of him. As he looked up at her, eyes bleak, she sighed. "But apparently you need me to tell you this: I don't give a damn if you have one hand or two. That's literally the least important fact about you, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel otherwise."
When his face didn't change, she continued. "You only had one hand when you came back with that bean and took us to Neverland, when you saved my dad's life, when you encouraged me and had my back at every turn. You didn't need two hands to come to a city of several million people to find me and bring me home, when you followed me through that time portal and helped undo my mess. You've become someone that I count on, and that's huge for me."
"Love —"
"You can still hold my hand," she interrupted, twining their fingers together. "You can still put your arms around me."
Killian stood slowly, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. She pulled his hand around her waist and let go, pleased when he took her cue and embraced her — with both arms.
"You can still kiss me," she said, tilting her head up to meet his lips as he brushed them over hers. It was a very sweet, chaste kiss … and not at all what she wanted from him at that moment.
Nudging him back onto the cot, she straddled his lap and spoke quietly into his ear. "I suspect that missing a hand wouldn't stop you from doing anything you really want to do."
"Quite right, Swan," he said, threading his fingers into her hair and pulling her mouth down to his.
This time, it was exactly what she wanted, deep and hot and all-consuming. As he dragged her closer with his hooked arm, tugging a bit on her hair with his hand, she wrapped her arms around him and rolled her hips into his, the perfect meeting of hard and soft. Kissing his way down her neck, he zeroed in on the most sensitive place, using lips and teeth to draw a gasping moan from her. Emma rocked her hips against him over and over, groaning again at how perfect it felt, trembling with the need to get rid of all barriers between them — and damn they needed to find a better time and place to do this. She pulled back with a sigh, reluctantly clambering off his lap and standing with her hands on his shoulders. She'd been trying to make a point, not get caught up in an epic makeout where anybody from town could interrupt. It was a miracle Leroy hadn't burst in yet.
He looked up at her, eyes wide and pupils blown, appearing just as wrecked as she felt. It was a slight consolation that he was probably too dazed to notice that her legs were still trembling.
"Bloody hell." He reached for her again, trying to pull her back down.
"Killian, we are not having sex in a jail cell," she said, batting his hand away and smiling wickedly. "Not the first time, anyway."
"By all means, love, let's adjourn to a more private location," he said, frowning when she stopped him from standing, her hands pressing on his shoulders.
"I have somewhere to be," she told him, stepping back and out of the cell before he could even stand. She shut the door and leaned on the bars, watching as he yanked a hand through his hair and scowled.
It was kind of adorable, and she battled the urge to rush back in and jump him on the stupid cot after all. She absolutely refused to let her eyes drift downward, to see just how aroused he was, and just what she was missing. Other than a momentary glance, that is.
"I'm going to see Gold," she said. "You are going to stay here."
"I'll go with you," he said.
"Yeah, because that will improve the situation."
"You can't trust him, Swan, he's dangerous."
She nodded. "I'll call my dad to go with me; he's surprisingly good at dealing with Gold."
"You're just going to leave me in this brig, then?" He curled his hand over hers and leaned as close as he could get through the cell door. "Am I under arrest? That git Scarlet said he wasn't pressing charges."
"Officially, no," she said. "Unofficially, I'm still pissed at you. You are so worried about whether or not I trust you, but I think you should ask yourself whether or not you trust me. You really thought that I would take Rumpelstiltskin's word over yours? Seriously?"
"Emma, I'm sorry. I was just afraid of losing you." His eyes locked with hers.
"Well, don't be," she said. "I said I trust you, and I meant it. I understand that might take some getting used to, for both of us, but that's okay. We'll figure it out. Now you stay here and do your time. When I get back … well, in this world sometimes you get out of jail early for good behavior."
He slipped his hook through the bars and one of her her belt loops, tugging her into the door. "And what do I get for bad behavior?" he purred.
She smiled. There was her pirate. "Well, then I'll just have to punish you."
He smirked, eyebrows raising. "Just dying to use those handcuffs on me, eh Swan?"
She snorted. "Be good," she told him, freeing herself from his hook before stepping back and shrugging. "Or not. Your call."
She smiled to herself as she heard him chuckling behind her. Once she'd dealt with Gold, she was very much looking forward to seeing which he'd choose.