The School Reunion
David and Billie were both really excited to meet K9, even though I'd warned them what he was like. The first scene we filmed, he steered himself into Billie's leg. They were less keen on him after that. - Elizabeth Sladen.
Chapter 1: The Alien Headmaster
Nina sat on the chair outside the head teacher's office, drumming her fingers. Like most kids, she was glad of a chance to be out of class for a bit. But most kids would also be going home in these circumstances. In her case, she'd be dithering somewhere quiet for the rest of the day. But first she had to sit and wait for ages, the head being away at the time. With not much interest in reading, and not enough money for any gaming devices, the wait would be very dull.
Finally, Mr Finch returned from whatever it was he'd been doing and saw her sat outside his office. "Shouldn't you be in class?" He said softly.
"I was in English, I had a headache." She replied. "The nurse said to come here."
"Well don't bother me. Head home."
"Can't."
Mr Finch raised an eyebrow. "Is your mother at work?"
"I don't have a mum. I live in Ambrose Hall, the children's home."
"An orphan." He gasped. "So no-one to miss you... I can see why she sent you. You poor child. Poor, thin child. Come inside." He ushered the girl in. "It's nearly time for lunch."
The children's home would probably report her disappearance, but it wouldn't get much of a look in. It wasn't unusual for their children to run away when they were supposed to be at school. At any rate, he knew several of the teachers would claim to have seen her go.
The bell signalled the last lesson before lunch and a group of year 9s filed into the physics lab.
They had a supply teacher in today, which meant no-one was paying attention to the prescribed seating plan. This was good for Kenny, as it meant he didn't have to sit next to Simon, who was always mocking his size. Instead, he sat next to Melisa, who was probably the nicest person he knew at that school.
The moment he sat down, Simon wandered past and casually knocked Kenny's bag to the floor, forcing him to crawl under the desk to retrieve it, to much sniggering from The tall boy.
"Oh, leave him alone." Melisa groaned at him.
"I don't know why you hang around with that looser." Simon laughed.
Kenny was rather pleased that she didn't sound the least bit impressed by Simon.
"Good morning class." Announced a teacher's voice. "Is everyone sitting comfortably?"
The children hurried to sit facing forward and look innocent. A man in a brown pinstriped suit strode to the front of the room, pulling on a set of thick rimmed glasses.
The man took out a pen and wrote his name on the whiteboard. "My name's Mr Smith and I'm here to teach you some physics. So... Physics. Phyyyyyyyyysics. Physics... Physics! Physics physics physics physics physics... I hope one of you's getting all of this down. Okay let's see what you know. Two identical strips of nylon are charged with static electricity and hung from a string so they can swing freely. What would happen if they were brought near each other?"
A boy with medium length hair and glasses stuck his hand up.
"You then, what's your name?" Said the Doctor.
"Milo."
"Ok Milo, what would happen?"
"They'd repel each other because they have the same charge."
"Correctamundo! A word I have never used before and hopefully never will again. Question two: I coil up a thin piece of micro-wire and place it in a glass of water. Then I turn on the electricity and measure to see if the water's temperature is affected. My question is this. How do I measure the electrical power going into the coil?"
Milo's hand shot straight up again.
"Someone else." Said the Doctor. He looked around at a room full of disinterested children. "No? Okay, Milo, go for it."
"Measure the current and PDs in an ammeter and a voltmeter."
"Two to Milo. Right then, Milo, tell me this. True or false. The greater the dampening of the system, the quicker it loses energy to its surroundings?"
"False."
"What is non-coding DNA?"
"DNA that doesn't code for a protein."
"Sixty five thousand nine hundred and eighty three times five?"
"Three hundred and twenty nine thousand nine hundred and fifteen."
"How do you travel faster than light?"
"By opening a quantum tunnel with an FTL factor of thirty six point seven recurring."
It wasn't an exaggeration to say that the Doctor was stunned. Not just from Milo's knowledge but from the other pupils' lack of response. None of them seemed to think it the least bit odd.
After muddling through the rest of the lesson, it was time for lunch, which most of the teachers were having in the staffroom. But he'd decided to go and see how Rose was getting along. As he watched her dishing out food from behind the kitchen counter, he guessed she was not having the best of times. He gave her a smile, which she responded to with a scowl as he went to find a free table.
In fact finding a free table was surprisingly easy, since the kids who'd sat on the table before had snuck away soon after he sat down.
He was midway through his lunch when he heard Rose's voice in his ear. "Two days."
"You've missed a bit." Said the Doctor, pointing to a blob of gravy on the end of the table she'd just wiped.
"Two days we've been here. After you promised me all the wonders of the universe. Now I'm stuck here. Serving the chips. Speaking of which, are you going to eat yours?"
"Nah, they taste a bit... off."
"I think they're gorgeous." Rose said, grabbing a handful off his tray.
"Blame Mickey." The Doctor got the conversation back on topic. "He's the one who called us here. Good thing he did. I had this one kid in my class today. He's got knowledge way beyond planet Earth. Plus, they're all surprisingly well behaved. I thought it would be happy slappy hoodies. Happy slappy hoodies with asbos. Happy slappy hoodies with asbos and ringtones." He grinned. Rose just rolled her eyes.
"You are not permitted to leave your station during a sitting." The head dinner lady approached.
"I was just talking to this teacher." Rose said quickly. "He doesn't like the chips."
The dinner lady now rounded on the Doctor. "The menu has been specially designed by the headmaster to improve performance and concentration. Now you..." She turned back to Rose. "Get back to work. There's some pans that need drying."
"This is me." Rose sighed as she walked away. "Dinner lady."
"I'll have the crumble." The Doctor called after her.
"I'm so going to kill you." She grinned.
One table over, Kenny was midway through the low fat lunch he'd had prepared at home, when he looked up to see Mr Wagner, one of the scarier-looking teachers, standing over him.
Wagner wasn't here for him though. Instead he turned his attention to the two people he'd come over to see. "Melissa. You'll be joining my class next period. Milo's failed me so it's time we moved you up a class." He noticed that Kenny was the only one in the canteen not eating the school meals. "Not having any chips?"
"I'm not allowed." Kenny explained, holding up his lunch box.
"We might have a word with your mother about that. But right now, Luke, Melissa. Extra class, now."
"Yes sir." They stood and obediently followed him out.
From a balcony overlooking the cafeteria, Finch was watching with a very satisfied look.
As Rose rubbed yet another metal tray down with the cloth, she realised that she was the only one in the kitchen. Seconds later, all the other kitchen staff came through the outside door, each holding a part of a wooden frame on wheels. All of them were wearing lab coats, gloves and breathing masks.
"Steady." Said the head dinner lady. "Don't spill a drop."
Rose turned her attention back to the trays, but watched from the reflection on a glass counter. What were they so desperate not to spill? And what were they bringing it into a kitchen for if it was so dangerous?
She heard her phone ring. Deciding that there was no-one around to object, she answered it.
"I've been on to army records." Mickey said. "I was right. These last few weeks, there's been hundreds of UFO sightings. I can't get any pictures though, 'cos then it gets all classified." As he said this, the file he was looking at abruptly faded, to be replaced with the Torchwood logo.
"You think that's strange?" Said Rose, turns out, three months ago, all the kitchen staff were replaced. And this lot are weird." She watched in the window as the staff came in with a second barrel.
"I was right to call you home." Said Mickey.
"I thought maybe you called me home... Just to call me home." Said Rose.
"What do you think I'd just invent an emergency. I wouldn't have to, 'cos every time you're around, an emergency just comes up anyways."
As they spoke, one of the wheels snapped off the frame holding the barrel. The thing tipped over, and the sudden shift in its contents drove the top off. A blob of the stuff splattered over one of the worker's faces.
The woman screamed in agony and clutched her face, as a fizzing sound emitted from it. Her friends, meanwhile, grabbed her by the arms and rushed her into a side room.
"Got to go." Rose rung off and began to dial another number.
"What you doing?" Said her boss's voice.
"Calling an ambulance." Said Rose.
The woman narrowed her eyes at her. "No need. She's quite alright."
At this point, the injured worker screamed even more intensely than before. Her scream was quickly followed by a puff of smoke through the open door. But the head didn't bat an eyelid. "It's alright. She does that."
Wagner stood in the new computer lab the school had just had installed. There were about 10 rows there, 8 machines in each.
"Please put your headphones on." He said to the children. Playing music while you worked was supposed to improve technical judgement. It was also a good way to subliminally make the children believe that nothing was out of the ordinary. That they should just keep up with the task at hand. "We'll begin."
The images that came up on each screen would have made the world's greatest cryptographer run away and decide to take up horticulture. It was a mass of symbols, taken from almost every alphabet in the universe. And they were ever changing, shifting in at least 5 dimensions all the time. But the children didn't seem the least bit phased. They simply set to work, each working on a little bit of the problem. Looking up at the main screen, Wagner could see that their efforts were certainly coming together.
Mr Finch led the freelance journalist who'd come to interview him through the halls. Though he tried to keep her attention, her eyes kept wandering, peering through ever window and door they passed by. That was to be expected. Journalists were always hopeful of some big thing to reveal. But he had no reason to worry. There was nothing to see in this part of the school.
"My changes aren't just limited to the classroom." He explained to her. "We've also introduced a new policy. School dinners are completely free, but compulsory. The food quality has been improved too. You must try the chips."
"I'd love to, some time." Said the woman. "I must say, the improvements you've made are remarkable. I know some have said you're working the children a little too hard. But I think good results are more important than anything."
"Exactly." He smiled. "You're a woman of vision, miss Smith."
"Oh, I can see everything... Quite clearly."
In the staff room, the Doctor had found one of the less suspicious teachers and struck up a conversation about what had been happening around there recently.
"These children are smart." He was saying. "Yesterday, I had an eleven year old girl give me the exact height of the walls of Troy, in cubits."
"And it's ever since the new head teacher arrived?" Said the Doctor.
"Finch came in three months ago." The man explained. "Things have certainly been strange since then. A week after he arrived. Half the staff got flu. Finch replaced them with that lot." He gestured to the teachers in black suits, down the end. And then there was that woman you replaced. That was just plain weird. Her winning the lottery like that."
"Really, how so?"
"She never played! Said the ticket was just posted through her door at midnight."
"The world's very strange." The Doctor grinned.
"Ladies and gentlemen." Finch's voice announced from the door. "May I introduce the young woman who's writing a piece on me for The Sunday Times: Miss Sarah Jane Smith."