One sunny day afternoon in Raimon town an ace striker was out in the town looking for a cool hot new pair of sweet jeans. He set his last pair on fire twice the day before. He had fourteen dollars in his pocket of the jeans he was wearing on the the day he went to town to buy a new pair of jeans.
He was strolling casually and looking good until he tripped over a fucking banana peel. Who the fuck would do this what idiot would leave this out to make him trip and lose his cool?
It was Fudou who was walking his ass dog in the ass park. Fudou said to Gouenji the ace striker who was on the ground because of the banana peel which fudou dropped deliberately on the ground and Gouenji slipped on the peel, Fudou said "gee golly, are you ok? ".
Gouenji tried to get up but get slipping on the banana peel."does it look like i'm ok shitrag?" Gouenji hissed out. He was very very angry and he also split his pants in two places and now he couldn't get up in fear that people would see his undies.
His undies on this particular day afternoon which it was that they were living that day were covered in pink sequins. They looked really sexy fine on his sexy fine assbottom and the entire Inazuma Eleven team kids agreed every one of them when he went to the locker room for practicing soccer practise they said to Gouenji, "Gouenji, your undies are lookin so sexy fine, on your sexy fine ass bottom, you are looking too good Gouenji Shuuya, you look so good today in your pink sequined undies." and Gouenji would say "yea" but he never is able to because of his troubled past.
One time he wore a pair of red ones and the sequins stuck inside his ass it was a terrible day. He snapped out of his thinking and looked at the very dirty hand in front of his face. "golly Gouenji do you need a good old helping hand?" Fudou asked. Gouenji glared at him with the power of a thousand fires, Fudou was now his new mortal enemy. "All i need is pants".
And then after saying those words that he said which shocked Fudou so greatly that he started to cry and his ass dog farted and Gouenji stood up proudly with his long beautiful blonde hair towering into the sky like a tower in the sky and he looked real cool and stuff. And he stood there for a good 5 minutes while Fudou was crying for a good 5 minutes and then a police car sirens started sirening and Fudou had to run immediately right away back to the cave hole he crawled out of. And Gouenji had Won.
Gouenji put his hands on his hips and laughed a heroic laugh. Suddenly he heard someone laughing with him? No, it was someone laughing at him! He froze in sheer terror. He turned around to see Kidou, Genda, and Sakuma pointing and laughing at his backside. He forgot…. he tore his pants everyone could see his undies. He swore he could see a flash or two going off behind him.
One of the flashes was Tsurugi Kyousuke with a 400 gallon fish tank. He was pushing the 400 gallon fish tank down the street to Tenma's house so that he and Tenma could fill the 400 gallon fish tank with scrambled eggs and that way they would have 400 gallons of scrambled eggs prepared for the future when they would need scrambled eggs.
Except the other flash was Genda. He was holding his cell phone and taking pictures of Gouenji's undies. He was ruined. How could he let this happen. He was wearing bright pink undies when he was known for wearing red oh no everyone would know now. He turned around cautiously to confront the three assholes.
"What the sam hill are u three goobers looking at" he said with lots of anger in his angry voice that was the most angriest possible voice he could speak in. He said it and Kidou accidentally made a poo in his pants but Kidou pretended he did not accidentally make a poo in his pants and he said back to gouenji "You're hot lol" except what he MEANT to say was not "You're hot lol" he meant to say "Nice undies mega dweeb prepare for the most ultimate wedgie u have ever experienced in your entire whole life".
So with that Genda and Sakuma both held GouenjI's arms and Kidou gave him the biggest fucking wedgie he had ever received. Gouenji swore he blacked out for at least 5 days. He woke up on the ground and no one was there it was nighttime. Gouenji was deathly afraid of the dark. He was thinking about how to get home when the song "Disco Inferno" started playing. It was his phone, he looked at and saw a video of himself getting a mega wedgie.
"Looks like i got trolled hardcore for realsies…" he sighed sighingly and then he stood up and then he sat down. And then he stood up and he ran immediately running from the spot where he was all the way to the top of the mountain and then down the mountain. And then he ran through a storm and through another storm and a tornado and a hurricane. And he did not stop running until he was no longer Gouenji Shuuya he was now... He Man.
He was no longer afraid of the dark. He ran all the way to his dad's house and kicked down the door. "Dad are you proud of me now look at me poppy" Gouenji told his dad. His dad looked up and him and laughed "Your pants are still torn" Gouenji punched his dad and ran home crying.
Once he reached home he sat down and thought. And then he called the police and said "I have a problem officer, I need someone to beat up Fudou but nobody will accept dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets as payment." and the officer said "I can hook you up with some mall santas who will do it for free" and Gouenji who was now he man was so excited he got in his car and drove to the mall to hire the mall santas to beat up Fudou. And one of them promised to give him a new pair of pants for Christmas.
Gouenji was driving home, again, very happy. Now he just had to get that video down and wipe everyones memory. His phone started ringing again. It was Endou. "Gouenji did you really get a wedgie by fucking Kidou" Gouenji bit his lip. "Endou its a big misunderstanding it wasn't actually kidou it was my arch nemesis Skeletor in disguise!" Endou was really fucking confused "I don't understand and I don't wanna understand" and he hung up. GouenjI wasn't paying attention to the road and crashed the car into something large. It looked like someone murdered a hundred eggs. He heard crying, oh shit.
Hiroto Kiyama was sobbing a lot over the death of his children the eggs "How could someone do such a thing?" he questioned with tears and then he took a yugioh playing card and wiped his tears with the yugioh playing card (the card was blue eyes white dragon). The life insurance men came seven minutes later with large briefcases and small sunglasses, they told Hiroto Kiyama that as the next of kin of the murdered one hundred eggs he was set to inherit like a bajillion dollars in monopoly money, which would mean that Hiroto Kiyama could never lose a game of monopoly ever again. He then became a true monopoly champion
Tsurugi looked at the sobbing form of Hiroto. "what the fuck" he muttered. "Tenma back to the drawing board the plan was a no go" he yelled at his boyfriend Tenma. Gouenji ran out of his car and started to scream, his car had a tiny dent. His beautiful red convertible had a fucking dent. He was going to kill whoever caused this.
And so he did his homework and got a B in his class.
Suddenly in his pocket on his left side, his phone in his pocket, started to do the a ringing. His ringtone was a very very loud polka cover of the Jem and the Holograms theme song and it was ringing because he was being called on the phone by a Mysterious Man (who will not be revealed this chapter maybe later).
He shrugged his shoulders and tossed his phone into the burning explosion that was his car cause hiroto had set it on fire. He hailed a taxi, Edgar from the English team just so happened to be on the job. "Where are you headed Sir?" he asked Gouenji as if he didn't know who he was. "I'm headed to the moon, please hurry." he told Edgar. Edgar nodded his head and blasted off into the sky. Gouenji looked down at Inazuma town with tears in his eyes. He whispered to himself "Live long and soccer" as he ascended into the sky… still without his pants.