Author's Note: a sort-of prequel to "The Princess In Her Bed," and more than just a little bit autobiographical.

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Leloucia vi Britannia sat on the edge of the unfamiliar bed, staring at the three large packing trunks that sat on the floor. She still wore the clothes she had on during the journey over here - a demure grey suit that reflected her gloomy disposition.

This was her home now; this was her new life. It was a life she hadn't chosen.

She was angry with her father, but she had expected this of him. She knew that he saw her as a political pawn and nothing more.

The person she was truly angry at was the one she thought would never hurt her. Her knight, her best friend, her lover - Suzako Kururugi.

It was only last night that Suzako came running as soon as she heard the princess screaming from upstairs. When Leloucia broke the news that she was being married off to a foreign prince, Suzako's reaction was unexpected. She seemed relieved, almost happy. She didn't even try to fight for the princess she claimed to love so much, didn't try to think of a way for them to be together.

Leloucia had been prepared to run away, abandon her home, her lavish lifestyle, and her family, as long as she didn't have to leave Suzako. But not Suzako. For all her strength, Suzako didn't fight back.

Leloucia felt wounded like never before. For all her promises - her promise as a knight to always protect the princess, her promise as a companion to always love Leloucia - Suzako had betrayed her. So suddenly she was alone, when she had lived so long knowing that Suzako would never leave her.

She knew full well that she may never hear from Suzako again.

She lay back on the plush bedspread and turned away from the trunks - she couldn't bear to look at them, to think about the memories inside them. She wanted to sleep to escape her suddenly hellish reality, but she couldn't stop the thoughts from spinning aorund in her head.

The way Suzako was acting was confusing. She had always said how much she loved spending time with her princess, how she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her days at Leloucia's side. If that's what she wanted, why did she let it slide through her fingers so easily?

Did she love someone else? Leloucia thought of her sister, Euphemia - Suzako had been friendly with her, but Leloucia previously had no concerns about them. Maybe it was another soldier - a man who could give her a more normal life. It must be hard enough for Suzako to be Japanese - marrying a man would make her life easier. Still, Leloucia tried not to think of this as a possibility. The thought of Suzako sleeping next to someone else was enough to drain any feeling of hope she might have had.

Her body felt lifeless though her mind couldn't stop churning.

"I'm not good enough for you, princess. You're supposed to be with your prince."

Despite anything Leloucia told her, this was always what Suzako believed. Suzako hated herself for reasons the princess never understood - she was a good person with a beautiful heart, and she made her princess so happy.

You always said how amazing I was, Suzy. Didn't you ever think that because someone amazing loved you, that you were amazing too?

Leloucia wanted so badly to know what was going on in Suzako's head, but she couldn't see any way that she could ever know - unless Suzako told her, which didn't seem likely. How did Suzako expect her to live this way?

When she had problems before, she had always gone to Suzako, and Suzako had always done her best to help - a perfect knight. Now she was screaming and pleading for help, and there was no one to answer.

Confusion, anger, and hurt churned through the princess's veins as she clutched a pillow to her chest, letting it soak up her tears. The future now looked like a nightmare. As long as she had her Suzy, she never needed to worry about being happy, or feeling loved, and if something truly terrible crossed her path, well, at least Suzy would be there for her.

But that feeling of being loved, of being protected, had vanished as soon as Suzako had turned her back.

She wondered if she'd ever stop crying, if she'd ever smile again, if she'd ever feel whole again - if she'd ever see her Suzy again.