Author's Note: Hello everyone! Optimisticat here! I'm new to the Fandom! This is my first BTR fanfic that I've ever written and published; I found it on one of my spare writing documents at home... Hopefully you'll like it. It focuses primarily on none other than Logan, the brilliant genius of the group who somehow always seems to have the worst of luck during the Prank Wars... Not to worry, he does better in this one, in a different sort of way! And all of the other characters will be included!
Thank you for welcoming me and for taking the time to read this story! Please feel free to review, if you wish! Reviews would be greatly appreciated! With that done and said, have fun reading! :)
Pranking Sir Logan
It was official; Logan had absolutely the worst work when it came to "King of the Pranks" day. Somehow, he always managed to prank himself out. He was still trying to figure out how he managed to do so each year…
This year, he'd been the first person to be eliminated from the prank war after his high-powered silly string shooter had backfired on him.
There was nothing wrong with his plans; no, his plans were absolutely brilliant. Downright genius. (He was a genius, after all.) So the error couldn't possibly lie within the pranks themselves, it had to lie within the prankster.
Logan sighed. When would he ever learn? This was the third year in a row that he'd managed to prank himself out.
Maybe he could start planning in advance for next year's prank war…
As he neared the lobby, he could hear a large commotion taking place… cautiously peering his head in through the main entrance doors, Logan peeked in and was surprised at the scene he'd found.
Bitters was yelling at the people in the lobby… he was yelling at his friends! By the looks of things, it appeared to be that there was an intense face-off between the guys and the girls on the main floor of the lobby.
Jo, Camille, Katie, Lucy, and several other girls were standing in offensive positions off to the right side of the lobby, donning various types of helmets, water guns in hand, along with silly string canisters and other messy pranking materials.
On the other side, Kendall, Carlos, James, Tyler, Jett, and several other guys were standing in defensive positions, along with the same prank-fighting materials in hand. All of them were wearing protective gear of various sorts, though Carlos was the only one wearing a helmet.
Everyone's attention, however, had been diverted from each other to the very angry-looking Mr. Bitters, who was standing up straight behind the safety of his desk, cheeks red from yelling and eyes seething with irritation.
"And just what do you all think you're doing?" he yelled, glaring at the guys and girls in turn. Not waiting for a response, he continued to rant.
"This had better not have anything to do with that ridiculous 'War of the Pranks' stunt you all played last year! And don't even think for one second that I've forgiven you two for that water gun stunt yet!"
(This last sentence was directed solely at Katie and Kendall, both of whom turned to share a knowing look with each other, with mad grins on their faces, despite the angered expression on Bitter's face. They were remembering the prank they'd played simultaneously on Bitters the year before, when they had joined forces with each other to soak the dramatic hotel manager with high-powered squirt guns. They'd ended the war of the pranks that year with a tie; both of them sharing in the victory.
Bitters was still ranting.
"And I suppose that you thought you'd get away with having another one of those nefarious, troublesome prank wars again this year, in my lobby no less?! Well, you're all wrong! IF you think that you can get away with such a feat this year, then you are gravely mistaken. If I see even one small drop of sticky stuff, or water, or foam, or whipped cream, or any other pranking material, or whatever you kids dare to use on my lobby floor, or on any other surface in the Palm Woods Hotel, then I will take the liberty to revoke all of your current privileges for the remainder of your stay! The pool will be closed for a year! You hear me? A year, I said!"
At this, Logan frowned deeply.
Everyone stood perfectly still, too terrified to spill on the carpet of the Palm Woods Hotel lobby. There were cries of outrage from both sides, however.
"What? Close the pool for a year? You can't do that!" Carlos yelled in protest, followed by Jo, who chimed in,
"It's against the rules! You can't do that!"
"And what about the adults? And the other people who live here? It's not air to them!" Camille shouted.
It's at times like thee when I wish Logan was around… Kendall thought. He knew that the brunette haired genius would have had a brilliant comeback to Bitters' threats. Heck, Logan would have been able to start a heated debate with the snobby hotel manager, giving the rest of them time to escape without Bitters even noticing. Logan probably could have babbled on and on about random information, or information that he'd made up regarding hotel policies and official stated rules in the state of California, or Los Angeles, for that matter.
And Bitters wouldn't have been able to do anything but listen or argue against the smarter teen, in an effort to protect his pride.
But Logan's not here at the moment, Kendall reminded himself. He pranked himself out earlier on in the day… Poor guy. Him and his pranks always seem to backfire. It's been a long time since the last time he won the Prank War. Maybe he'll do better next year?
"Enough!" Bitters yelled, raising his voice above the furious heated indignant cries of protests and despair amongst the teens and other kids assembled in the lobby.
There was a hush amongst the crowd. Everyone could only turn to look at Bitters with contempt and pleading expressions. Carlos was giving Bitters one of his best "puppy dog eyes" look, but it seemed not to have any effect on the grumpy hotel manager.
"If I so much as hear one more complaint, then I won't hesitate to close the pool immediately! In fact, I think I might just do so right now! After all of the messes that you've caused in the past, and the grief that you're giving me now, it might be a good idea! And who says that I can't close it for the rest of the year? Ah, sweet revenge, this is something that I've been waiting to do for years!"
Everyone stared at Bitters in helpless horror.
"I do believe that I've reached my decision at last! Now, brats, let me be the first person to announce with pleasure that-"
Bitters was cut off abruptly by the sudden appearance of Logan, who was carrying several loose, already opened, large pie boxes haphazardly in both arms, stacked way above his line of vision.
Everyone, including Bitters, paused to look at him, some with strange expressions, while others (like Kendall) stared at the brunette-haired brilliant teenage boy with surprise, relief, and confusion plastered on their faces.
While Bitters had been ranting away, Logan took the liberty to create a master plan that would distract Bitters and save his friends, saving the pool privileges as well. He would pull the ultimate prank on Bitters! (Or so he hoped).
He realized that he needed to intervene quickly, though, if he wanted to save his friends from a dreadful fate worse than death!
Gears moving in a rapid speed in his brain, he searched for any useful pranking materials nearby that he could use to distract Bitters while he formulated a brilliant plan. Ducking around the corner of the hotel entrance, he found several pies in boxes stacked on one of the pool lounge chairs nearby, conveniently on hand.
Smirking, he made his way to the boxes and opened the lids, making sure that if he were to "trip" completely unexpectedly, all of a sudden, that the pies inside would have no hesitation falling out of the protective flimsy light cases and launch into the air.
Walking quickly and confidently, he made his way to the hotel's main entrance, making a grand entrance as he walked boldly through the main doors and into the crowded lobby, ignoring the complete standstill of both parties and the looks he must be receiving from his friends, the rest of the guys, the girls, and Mr. Bitters, of course.
Which brought him to the current moment.
Gracefully waltzing in through the main doors, he turned around to start walking backwards, and from his side view he turned to address his friends,
"Hey guys! It's good to see you have the new test-trial products that those major companies sent you in the mail on hand! I know that they're really grateful for your willingness to try them out, and that they're especially looking forward to receiving your feedback! It's vitally important for the information that they're trying to find and make sense of… they'd be helpless without it! But I'm sure that you knew that already…"
Turning to face the girls, while he was still walking backwards, Logan said,
"Oh! Hello there, ladies! And I see that you've decided to share the rest of your materials with the girls as well? That's so generous of you! And it will be great for the companies, even better than what they were expecting, actually, because now they'll be able to have feedback from both genders! Guys, you're so smart!"
Choosing to ignore his friends' priceless expressions and obvious questions, he continued to make his way to the front desk, where Bitters was standing, speechless, mouth open and at a loss for words.
"Looking good there, Camille!" Logan said cheerily as he caught Camille's eyes, making his way past to the front desk, causing Camille to blush violently.
Just as he was about to reach the front desk, as he was less than ten steps away, Logan put his dancing skills to use and gracefully and nonchalantly executed a 180-degree pirouette, turning to face Mr. Bitters, and that's when the unexpected occurred…
Or, unexpected, in the minds of everyone in the room except for Logan.
He'd only taken one more step forwards, when his right foot slipped on an unseen banana peel on the floor, directly in his path leading towards Bitters.
That misstep set Logan off balance, causing him to lean forwards and then backwards in a desperate effort to regain his balance. But although his efforts were valiant, they were not enough to prevent him from falling forwards and losing his footing, sending him and the pies that he'd been carrying haphazardly in both hands careening forwards, into Mr. Bitters' desk…
There was an intense moment of silence as all sets of eyes watched the event occur before them, bringing about a new, surprising change of events…
As Logan slipped, the pies that he had been carrying went flying from his grasp, launched into the air, and completed their orbit by landing smack dab on Bitters' face and clothes.
Logan winced and closed his eyes as he fell, smiling though, when he heard the projectiles land on their planned target- only to grimace again, when he landed face-first in one of the pies himself.
That was not part of the plan. In the midst of the craziness, Logan had, ironically, landed in one of the pies face-first himself, looking just as much of a mess as Bitters was… but Bitters was in an even bigger mess.
Ah, shoot! Does this mean that I've pranked myself twice now?! Logan thought. No, focus! Get back to the situation on hand! I'll just have to improvise from here!
All eyes were on Logan and Mr. Bitters now.
Everyone, all of the teens, guys and girls alike, had incredulous expressions on their faces, as though not quite certain what to make of what had just happened.
Had Bitters just been… pranked? By Logan? Of all people? What was going to happen next?
The moment of tense incredulous silence was broken by Bitters' enraged yell, followed by his attempts to regain his breath and control his rage and indignation, along with his bruised dignity.
"What. Did. You. Do?!" he yelled angrily at Logan, specifically, after he had regained his composure as much as he could, despite the mess he was currently in.
By now, everyone was watching the scene with amazement and incredulity, struggling to believe the scene that they had all just seen. Logan had just pranked Bitters! But surely he wouldn't get away with it, would he?
"Oh, Mr. Bitters, I am so sorry," Logan started in as an apologetic tone as he could muster, without cracking up or giving the fact that he knew exactly what he'd been doing.
"I had no idea that you were standing right there!" he started, trying to prove his innocence.
Bitters was not amused, or willing to let Logan off the hook so easily, however.
"YOU!" He roared, pointing an accusing finger at Logan, trying to wipe up some of the whipped cream stuck to his hair with his other hand.
"This is all your fault! I bet you just planned to throw these pies at me on purpose, didn't you! Didn't you!?" he yelled.
"It was all a part of this so-called 'War of the Pranks,' wasn't it?"
Logan cut Mr. Bitters off before he could continue to fire off any more accusations directed at him.
"No, sir, I have no idea what you're talking about! I was simply minding my own business, taking these pies upstairs to Mrs. Knight and our other friendly neighbors for sampling, when my foot slipped on something from underneath me, and I lost my footing and stumbled forward and fell!"
Although Logan was trying to give his friends time to escape from the lobby, none of them moved an inch. They were all too transfixed watching the current scene play out, eager to see how the current events played out than they were willing to save their hides and run away to live another day. Their curiosity was getting the better of them; first, they needed to know whether or not Mr. Bitters was still going to close the pool or not, and secondly, they needed to find out what was going to happen to Logan! And they all wanted and needed to tell him thank you… even if the pool was still closed, he'd managed to hit Bitters in the face with a pie, making him the hero of the day!
While Logan was still talking away a storm with Mr. Bitters, defending his actions, Kendall glanced across the room at Jo, who was shaking her head slightly, watching Logan with a confused look. When he caught her eye, she mouthed "What is he up to? Do you know what he's doing?"
Kendall responded, "I have no idea! I think he's just about to save our skins, though!"
Mr. Bitters continued to speak,
"You are the one responsible for this mess! I cannot believe it! Therefore, your actions will be the cause of the pool being closed for the rest of the ears! Ha! Let's see you explain that to your friends in here!" Mr. Bitters stated smugly, a smug smirk on his mouth, as though he'd won the war, despite having lost the battle with the pie.
The immediate response was gasps of shock followed by more protests, but Logan motioned for everyone to be silent with his hands and continued to speak, not batting an eye at Bitter's most recent declaration.
"Oh, I think not!" Logan started, closing his eyes briefly, organizing his thoughts before looking Mr. Bitters directly in the eyes, ignoring the rest of the world around him.
"It is not my fault in the least! In fact, this whole mess is a result of poor management, of which I think you are in charge!"
Now, this had everyone's attention. Mr. Bitters' eyes had narrowed down to slits, and he glared at Logan, icily asking,
"Are you trying to suggest that this mess is entirely my fault? A mistake of 'poor management'?"
Logan was unfazed, and continued to stare at Mr. Bitters as he spoke.
"Yes. That is exactly what I am trying to say. Now hear me out! I do believe that I slipped because I could not see the ground in front of me, and because I couldn't see what was in front of me, I failed to see the object on the ground that I tripped on… a banana peel, I think it was?"
Turning around, Logan searched for the incriminating object that had caused him to fall, noticing a brightly colored yellow object on the floor. Upon lifting it up and examining it, Logan brought it to Mr. Bitters and practically shoved it in front of his face, so that he could see for himself that it was a banana peel that he had slipped on.
Mr. Bitters wrinkled his nose in disgust and turned his head away, muttering,
"Go on. What other excuses do you have?"
Picking up from where he'd left off, Logan continued to speak.
"So as I was saying… I tripped on the banana peel because I couldn't see it. But I shouldn't have had to worry about watching my steps now, should I? The lobby room floors should be kept clean at all times, free from any and all obstructions at any given time, regardless of whether a person can see where they're going or not!"
Mr. Bitters felt his stomach drop, as the first niggling suspicion of doubt grew in his mind. Maybe Logan was right after all!
"But just a moment ago, when I fell in the first place, the floor wasn't clean. There was an obstruction in the middle of the floor, in the middle of my path! This banana peel- left over from breakfast, I presume- was left in the middle of the floor, where anyone, not just me, could have easily slipped and fell on it!"
Mr. Bitters listened with increasing dread as Logan spoke, and his friends listened with growing awe and amazement as Logan slowly turned the odds in his favor.
"Now I can understand that generally, it is a janitor's responsibility and upmost duty to keep the hotel premises and facilities clean- but it is physically impossible for a human being to be in two places at once, never mind more than two places at once, unless you count the state line boundaries- and I seem to recall that the hotel janitor was last seen upstairs, cleaning a mess in one of the hallways… It had something to do with Styrofoam and baking soda, I believe… Nonetheless, it doesn't matter. A person cannot be in two places at once; we've already established that. So this means that the janitor could not be down here taking care of the banana peel while simultaneously taking care of the mess left upstairs at the same time!
"Therefore, since the responsibility of maintaining the hotel premises and keeping them clean is ultimately on you, Mr. Bitters, the least that you could have done was simply picked up the banana peel and discarded of it in the closest trashcan… thus keeping the lobby clean and protecting your residents, such as me, from slipping and falling and possibly sustaining severe medical problems in the process!"
Mr. Bitters was gasping like a fish; he didn't know what to say. There was nothing that he could say. Logan was right, for once.
He spoke with no bad intent or malice; he simply was defending his point.
"And according to the laws in every state in the United States, the first and most important concern of all registered hotels is the health and well-being and safety of their temporary residents. Safety is the number one concern, not profit or personal gains."
Kendall's smile grew bigger and bigger as he listened to his intelligent brown-haired friend speak; truly, Logan was a genius! How often had his nickel knowledge helped the guys in general on so many occasions? And look what it was doing now! Logan was saving their hides, on top of everyone's pool privileges to boot!
"Do you know how many law suits are filed against hotels and managers of large public corporate housing firms each year, Mr. Bitters, on account of injury and unsafe living conditions?"
Logan paused for a moment, waiting for his words to sink into Mr. Bitters' brain.
"Over 1,000. 1,264, to be exact, as of last year's count. Now, I'm not trying to be threatening in the least, no, that's not what I'm trying to do here. I'm just informing you of these particular statistics, Mr. Bitters, so that you may be aware of what's going on in the world today, and what you can do to avoid having a complaint filed against you. You see, I'm not mad in any form of way. I'm just pointing out the facts."
And hiding certain others from your knowledge, Logan thought. He didn't think that it would help his case if he mentioned that less than 5 percent of those 1264 lawsuits filed against hotel management were successful…
This last statement ended with a tense stare-off between Mr. Bitters and Logan, neither one of them willing to give up the fight… but perseverance paid off, and eventually, Mr. Bitters ended the staring contest by ending the conflict.
"Alright. Alright! You win! I concede! What can I do to prevent you from filing a complaint against the hotel management?" Bitters demanded, looking at Logan despicably and with defeat.
At this, Logan perked up and spoke nonchalantly and without hesitation,
"Simple! See to it that the pool is never, ever closed! With the exception of necessary, county-assigned maintenance, of course," Logan spoke, a smile in his eyes and on his face.
"What?! No, I'll never.."
Logan raised his eyebrows and pointed to the banana peel on Bitters' desk as a warning.
"Alright, alright, I'll agree to your stupid, childish terms. I take back what I had said earlier, the pool is now open again, for the rest of the year!"
This time, everyone cheered without fear of punishment.
"Good. I'm glad that we could agree and settle our differences in an organized, civilized, nice manner, Mr. Bitters. And I must say, I really don't think that whipped cream or lemon meringue are really your colors," Logan spoke in a mock serious tone, smiling widely immediately after he'd said it.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must be going. I have some unfinished homework that awaits my return upstairs," he spoke, turning away from a shocked, gasping Mr. Bitters, whose cheeks had suddenly turned red again.
"Logan! I'll get you for this!" he yelled across the lobby, pointing his finger and shaking it in rage at the younger teen, who was laughing as he walked away.
Success!
With his back turned away from Bitters, Logan made a silent fist pump with his hands, making sure that the grouchy hotel manager wouldn't see his sign of triumph.
Now, if he could just find a towel to wipe away all of the whipped cream that was on his face…
Kendall, James, and Carlos ran up to Logan before he had even taken more than ten steps away from Mr. Bitters.
When they reached him, they embraced him in a huge, warm, heart-felt hug and three-way embrace, before hoisting him up onto their shoulders, chanting his name out loud in an excited chorus.
"That was Awesome, Logan!" Carlos yelled, practically making the lighter teen go deaf from the loud noise in his enthusiasm. But Logan didn't mind. He was too caught up in the moment and the realization of what he had just pulled off was hitting him fully.
"Yeah Logie, you were incredible! Do you realize what you just did? You pranked Bitters! And you saved our lives! You saved the annual Prank War!" James added, very proud of his genius brother's actions and plans.
"Heh, yeah, thanks guys. I guess that was pretty awesome, wasn't it?"
"Ya think, Logan, ya think?! What you just did back there was amazing! You. Pranked. Bitters! And got away with it! I don't know what's more impressive… that you pranked Bitters or that you were able to talk him out of punishment in any form, or that you saved the annual Prank War!"
Suddenly, Logan felt two warm petite hands grab his shoulders from behind and found himself turning around to come face-to-face with a passionate kiss from Camille…
Followed by one of her trademark Camille slaps, followed by yet another pleasant passionate kiss, for an enjoyable surprise…
The guys smiled and teasingly cooed, making "ah's" and various "ooh's" as the couple shared a warm embrace with each other.
"Logan, what you did back there was simply amazing. You're simple amazing, did you know that?" Camille asked, looking at Logan deep in his dark brown eyes, lovingly caressing his hair and forehead, trying to wipe off what pie she could from his face.
"Camille, I'm a mess… are you still sure that you want to hug me?"
"I wouldn't say 'no' for anything in the world, Logan. I could care less!" And with that, she threw her arms around him and gave him another warm hug, choosing to ignore the clumps of whipped cream and various pieces of pie that now stuck to her hair.
"Thanks, Camille."
And although he may not have won the battle, Logan knew that he had most definitely won the Prank War and saved it for the next year to come… No, he hadn't won the Prank King, seeing as he'd pranked himself twice that day, but he most certainly was the Prank War Hero, which was a title that he supposed he would much rather prefer to have.
Kings may be forgotten, but the Prank War Hero's legacy would live on.
Until next year…Logan just hoped that the Prank War wouldn't need saving again, but he and his friends knew that he'd be there if it did.
Author's End Note: That's all, folks! Hope you enjoyed! ~Optimisticat :)
