Unsung Requiem
By: Angelus Erreare
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the mentioned characters below. All belongs to ATLUS USA.
A/N: This is dedicated to my special friend and one of my choices to be the godmother of my babes, auntie Nessa-chan! This is for you.
Nessa-chan, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT GALE AND JINANA ARE JUST DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE!! There's virtually NO WAY TO MAKE THIS PAIRING WORK! Unless you're going to go for a completely AU scenario, that is.
But all that aside, I did my best with this pairing and here it is…Although, I must tell you, I AM NOT SATISFIED WITH THIS! X . But this was the best and ONLY thing I could come up with to link these two characters together. Oh well. Erm, anyway, enjoy…or whatever.
WARNING: SEMI-AU (NOT BASED ON GAME), OOC, LANGUAGE, LIME.
It had happened long ago…To him, it had happened ages ago. No…not ages…not centuries either. It had happened millennia ago…
It had happened even before the skies had stars…Even before the cosmos had birthed the sun…
He blinked as he looked at the dull and bland horizon. He looked at it indifferently; it had always been the same. Nothing changed. May it be the weather or his countenance, nothing had really changed. For Gale, everything had remained the same.
But it hadn't always been this way with him…
His comrades, Serph, Argilla, Heat and Cielo…They all knew him for what he was right now. They all knew him as per what he allowed them to know him as. They had all known him as that unmoved and cold and clammy person…
They had known him to be a person with no feelings…Numb.
They were right…
They were right as much as they were wrong.
They were right in what they saw in him. He really was an ice cube. But at the same time, they were wrong about him. They had been mistaken to have passed judgment so easily…He had heard them, when they had said that he had always been that way; that cold and unfeeling way…
That was where their folly laid.
He hadn't always been like this.
Before…long ago, his heart had been soft…warm…and full of life…Back when he had been with…her.
He shook his head. But that was a long time ago. Ages ago…centuries ago…millennia ago. Things were different now; things had changed.
Whereas before, he had been a nomad, a mere rookie, now he was a member of a prominent tribe. Now, he was a member of Embryon…
He shook his head. Today was a new day…That was why he was walking towards the Strategy Room. They still had a war to win.
xxxxx
He closed his eyes in deep contemplation. Serph, Argilla and Heat had left for Svathisthana while he and Cielo remained.
He knew what would happen in that meeting…
Embryon would claim Svathisthana. They would be a step closer to winning the war…His mind wandered further. After the Vanguards, the next step would be…
"The Maribel." he deadpanned coldly.
He touched his forehead in wistful thinking and there stiffened as he saw a teardrop floating in the air.
He blinked several times.
A teardrop…?
He shook his head; no. He was imagining things. He needed to focus. He glared at the wall in front of him as he found his concentration severely lacking. He was getting vexed at himself. His mind was running amuck and what distressed him the most was the fact that no matter how much he willed his mind to cease and desist, it did not beseech him and pondered over things that Gale deemed…trivial.
Sighing, he gave up and let his mind meander…
A teardrop. That was the last thing that he had just been thinking of. He had wondered then why he thought of it…
But now, more than ever, he finally realized why.
His stomach suddenly churned as he remembered something from his past…A teardrop. That had been her favorite symbol…
He blinked, not allowing any of his bodily or facial muscles to be fazed by such a memory. She had had green hair…like he did. She had had bright emerald eyes…like he did. She…had been cold and unmoving…like he was…
But then…he remembered that they had not always been like that.
Back then, before Embryon and before Maribel, he and she…had been at peace.
Back then, they had only each other for support…Back then, before the war had been escalated, they had been…one.
Yes.
Before he had met Serph and his comrades, he had met her first. She had been in his exact likeness that he had immediately found a liking to her…and her towards him.
They had similar outlooks in life…Well, there were some discrepancies…but over and above all, she and he were virtually the same.
She may be a bit more…optimistic than he was…but they reached concurrence in other fields. They shared the same outlook when it came to questions of camaraderie…loyalty…and honor.
They were both true to their words; never breaking them. They had relief upon each other to survive and had never abandoned the other even at the face of danger and death…
They both…did not kill needless.
'We…truly are kindred…' he thought absentmindedly.
He shook his head. That was a long time ago.
'There is no point in dwelling in the past…It's over. She's…she's not here anymore…She's with the Maribel now. And I…I am with the Embryon.' He felt a slight prick of pain as he thought that last line.
He was with the Embryon now while she was with the Maribel…
Their cities were but neighbors…They were so near to each other yet oceans apart…He closed his eyes tightly as his thoughts meandered to Serph's meeting with Harley. No. Only one man would emerge as the victor.
He would not be surprised if Serph returned. And if he didn't…?
'Well,' he thought, touching his forehead in wistful thinking, 'it's natural then. There can be only one. And if Harley defeated Serph…then…that is regretful…But…it wouldn't stop the war.'
That was right. The next would be them; the Maribel.
He sighed again. The point was, sooner or later, their tribes would clash. And he knew what that meant.
It would mean that between Serph and her, only one would remain.
He groaned as he forced himself to sit. His heart was throbbing painfully as he thought of both Serph and Jinana.
They both meant a lot to him. Although he may be as cold as ice…and as unfeeling as a corpse…it did not mean that his comrades meant nothing to him…No. That was a mistake. He felt his heart burn and his stomach churn as he saw himself within a fork on the road, asking him to choose which path in life he would take.
Serph…? Or Jinana?
He gritted his teeth as he felt angry at himself. What choice?
There was no choice.
It had all been decided for him.
It had been decided long ago ever since he had joined Embryon. When he had joined his tribe, it meant his enlistment to that tribe; not only that, but also unfaltering and unwavering loyalty. His enlistment also meant that he had to defend his tribe from any and every enemy and threat…which sadly, included her.
Oh how he wished that they didn't need to cross paths…
Oh how he wished that she didn't join the Maribel. Oh how he wished that she didn't lead the Maribel…Oh how he wished that she didn't have to die…
How he wished…that she did not leave him.
Flashback
"So, I guess…that this is it…huh?" she asked, turning away from him.
"I suppose so…" he replied absentmindedly.
"You know-!" she began but bit her lip as if she was about to divulge a heavy secret.
His heart burned with anticipation at that. He had wanted to hear what it was that she wanted to say…He really did…Perhaps there was a chance for them to mend their broken bond…
But then again, his stubborn and proud self had him do nothing…
He did not urge for her to continue…
He heard a low growl emanating in front of him and he knew that it had come from her. But still, he had forced himself to remain perfectly still.
No.
He would not dare change that position.
"Why can't you just-!?"
Why couldn't he just what?! He wanted her to continue…but he said nothing…
"So, then," she said once more, her voice no longer emotive or feeling but now dull and lifeless…resolute and firm…mirroring his own, "this is it. I…wish you all the luck Gale. Goodbye."
End Flashback
He didn't know why he said them…Those words…But he said them anyway…And he knew…that it was because of those words that he had cracked her strong armor…
Flashback
"There is no such thing as luck Jinana. You would do well to remember that…"
And with that, he had walked away from her; forever sealing their fates…To be unaltered even by the gods themselves.
End Flashback
Gale did not wish to remember anything more of that. That was then and this was now. He blinked as he received a transmission.
He smiled.
It would seem that Serph and the others had returned.
xxxxx
He was gleeful; Svathisthana had been claimed. Their soldiers had been enlisted. Their manpower and their firepower were growing. Soon, if the tides of the war continued to be in their favor, the Embryon would have risen far and above any of the other tribes could have ever expected.
Gale, still unfazed, still cold and unfeeling, snorted at that notion within. They had all expected Embryon to be swallowed by larger and more prominent tribes. They had not expected for a band of mere rabble to form their own tribe and call itself Embryon. They had not expected for them to have sustained what little power they had.
Gale smirked within. Now they had control of Svathisthana. He narrowed his eyes; the Maribel would be next.
'Jinana…'
He wondered what would happen to her…
'No. Enough.'
He willed his mind to forget her and forget her it did. There were more pressing matters to attend to.
xxxxx
Serph, Argilla and Heat had left for Manipura at first light on that day. Serph had offered if he wanted to come along with them. There was a part of him that wanted to go. He wanted to see her again; not just from recorded images or videos of her from his spies. No. He wanted to see her in person. He wanted to be within the same room as she…To even smell her scent once more…
But then again, he knew he shouldn't. He didn't want to see her any more than she wanted to see him.
That was why he had refused Serph and had told him that he was needed there at Muladhara to oversee things in his absence. The silent leader had agreed and had left it at that.
But still, the thought lingered on.
He wanted to see Manipura and walk along its streets. Not as an opponent, but as a tentative ally.
Ally?
Yes. That was the plan that he had devised for the tribe. He had planned to feign an alliance with the Maribel in order to subdue the Solids. And then…crush them at the first opportunity.
He was playing dirty he knew. But there was no other way. This was the only way to survive there and defeat the much larger tribes.
But the question of valor and honor wasn't what really bothered him. Now, the stakes were higher. Many more lives were being gambled. And most of all, it wasn't all about warfare any longer.
It wasn't just about the conditions of victory and defeat either.
It was purely about morals.
He closed his eyes. No. With what he had devised, he was a man who had no morals. It was a personal issue, he realized, but he had never let anyone in on it. Not even Serph. None of his comrades knew of his prior ties with the now Maribel leader.
And with that being the case, how could they refuse the plan that he had presented? No way at all.
This time around, the battles that Serph and the others would be fighting would be…tricky.
At that moment, he realized that he had drifted farther away from her than he already was. Before, it was mere distance that had separated them. Now…It was much more. They used to share the same core values…
The same core values that he now knew he lacked.
Valor.
Honor.
Honesty.
Virtue.
No With the plan that he had devised, those attributes had been lost and thus made him drift farther away from her.
He sighed, 'I'm sorry. There's no other way.'
xxxxx
He could feel his blood being pumped at an accelerated rate within his body. They had done it! With the combined efforts of the Maribel and the Embryon, the Solids had been defeated; their forces enlisted within Embryon.
Gale blinked; by divine right, the Embryon had claim on the Solids' belongings and territory. What got his attention was the fact that the Maribel did not question that. It was true that it was Serph who defeated Mick…But the question was why didn't Jinana send her elite team or herself, for that matter, to defeat Mick?
Should she had done that, the Maribel could contend as to their share of the spoils. But she didn't. And the Maribel had been left with nothing.
And now…
Now, there were only them.
Now, he had been devising a plan in order to trick the Maribel and assassinate her.
Hmph. He really shouldn't be overanalyzing Jinana's motives; or the lack thereof. He was a skeptic he reasoned. That was why he was analyzing her motives; or the lack thereof. But then again, he was overanalyzing them.
Why?
Because it was personal. Because it involved her.
'It's either she's overly smart and is one step ahead of me…Or she's utterly stupid.' he told himself.
"Look at the canyons Gale…! The land is arid and dusty…but this canyon is definitely breathtaking…Isn't it…?"
Gale blinked and shook his head vigorously.
"Enough." he told himself. He was imagining things again…
'Focus…'
He tried and tried but no matter what he did…Nothing changed. It was her face that pervaded his mind…
At that moment, he saw her teardrop…
That symbol that she liked oh so much…
He remembered her telling him why she liked that symbol…
Flashback
"I do not understand what draws you to such a symbol Jinana. It's nothing out of the ordinary…It's just a symbol that resembles that of the egg. It does not even remotely strike or attempt to strike fear or intimidation against opponents. Hence, it serves no purpose." he stated flatly to her, crossing his arms, his eyes looking into hers intently, daring her emerald jewels to prove him wrong.
She smiled at him and spoke in a low tone, "That's just it Gale. This symbol…is not meant for intimidation or to strike fear into the hearts of opponents."
Here, Gale shook his head and touched his forehead, "Then…? What is its purpose…? Having it there on your cheek…seems…illogical." he finished; his voice having the tone of bemusement and curiosity.
She smiled tightly at him and touched his cheek lightly, "Gale…The barren wasteland that we call home had robbed our people homes, livelihoods…even their future. This harsh and arid place…had nearly condemned us…to pit ourselves against one another…like animals; like wild animals with no morals…no virtues…"
"…"
She sighed and removed her hand from where she touched his cheek, "This symbol is not to strike fear…or hatred. This is to serve as a reminder that we are not animals Gale." she stated boldly, proudly, staring into his eyes deeply.
"…"
"This is to remind us…that no matter how bloody the battles get, that no matter how many of our people die fighting just for a chance to give a better life to their loved ones…that we are human. Human…Gale. We are human…This symbol…is the human tear. A tear," she began, touching his cheek once more, "that carried within our raw emotions…Pain…agony…affection…love."
"…"
End Flashback
She had explained that to him back then. Although he might not have fully grasped its meaning, he had found himself all the more happy to listen anyway…
He had learnt many things from her. It was with her that he had crossed the threshold of being a boy to being a man. And likewise, it was he who had made her into a woman…
That was when he had finally realized the meaning of her symbol…
Flashback
"Oh…" she moaned beneath him, as his manhood pierced her barrier, literally tearing her in two.
He stopped his movement and there looked into her emerald eyes. He panicked as he saw the beginnings of crystalline tears pooling within, "Are you alright…?"
She laughed and closed her eyes, letting her tears trail her cheeks. He froze at that moment as he saw her tears.
Tears…
They brought emotions, didn't they…? He wondered then; what emotions was she feeling now? Was it…pain…? Agony…?
"Jinana…"
She opened her eyes and smiled tightly at him, "I'm alright Gale…"
"Then…why are you crying…?"
She continued to smile at him and caressed his cheek, "It's because I feel happy…These are tears of joy Gale…I'm happy that I'm with you this way. I'm happy that we are…one."
Seeing that he was unsure…she put a hand behind his head and pulled him down to her. He obliged her and there…their lips met in a full, sensual…and heartfelt kiss.
End Flashback
At that moment, he had finally fully understood. He had fully fathomed what she had imparted. For him, at that very moment, nothing else mattered. It was just she…and him. It was with her that he had been able to feel nothing but pleasure that he deemed now as…unearthly. No. Whatever happiness and pleasure that she had bestowed upon him was happiness and pleasure that knew not this world.
He and she were one on that night. Not just their flesh…but their souls as well. It was a marriage of the heart…the flesh…and the spirit.
It was surreal.
Gale then thought of her tears…
She had told him that those were tears of happiness…
Tears that were brought on by love…
It was such a wonderful feeling. But most importantly…that tear of hers had made him feel something else. It had made him feel…human.
Forgetting his plan and his façade completely, he let a small smile grace his lips. There was another treasured memory of her that resided in his heart.
She had been young then; just as he had been…marveling at the sight of a sunset…
"Hey…Look at the sunset…The land may be barren…The people may have lost hope…But…looking at that sunset makes you want to question that. Doesn't it Gale…?" she asked, looking at his profile as she smiled cheerfully.
It had just been him and her.
It was…
'Perfect…'
"Gale."
He was thrown back into reality unceremoniously as he heard his name being called. Oh yes. The plan.
He suddenly froze once more and cursed inwardly. This plan…would damn her…It would mean her death. He narrowed his eyes in firm absolution as he forcibly removed images of her from his mind.
No.
He had entertained his past feelings and memories of her quite enough.
'This is life. She knows this as much as I do.' he thought with unwavering resolve.
xxxxx
"Their boss is skilled. But the individual members are weak. It would be easy to dispose of them." he said calmly.
He knew that Serph and the others would accept.
He smiled to himself; how did he know that she was skilled…? Well, it was aside from the information that was gathered by his spies that had confirmed it to him.
He knew her. Within that quaint girl, burned the soul of a raging warrior. She was agile and highly skillful with her wrists and her hands…
She fought as if she were dancing…Her movements were always hypnotizing to the eyes; his eyes. She was fluid in her movement…Flawless in every way. Like a gentle yet strong coursing river, her movements were like a rendition.
He knew that she was skilled…
He had seen her. He had been…mesmerized by her…
She was the perfect leader. She was a good fighter and at the same time, with a good heart coupled with noble intentions for the people she led. Yes. She was indeed worthy of her position and her title as leader.
It would take only a leader of her own likeness to defeat her.
And Gale was certain he knew who it would be. It would be Serph.
"Gale…" she breathed out cheerfully yet firmly.
He blinked; damn. He was doing it again!
xxxxx
His eyes were cold; ice cold. His heart had stopped beating for a moment only to resume its motion. 'How could it not?' he asked in humor, 'It would kill the body if it did…' he laughed dryly.
A moment later, he paused.
He looked at the wall blankly in front of him. He had received word. He had received word that Serph had yet again been successful.
Gale knew what that meant.
His Jinana was no more…
Her death, no matter how expected it was to come to pass, he now realized had come to pass too soon…too quickly.
At that thought, his heart stung painfully. He winced as he felt the overwhelming hurt within his chest. It had been immense…Like the searing fires of the seven kingdoms of hell burning his very heart; his very soul.
He had not counted of it hurting the way it did. He had half-expected a dull throb…But nothing like this. Never like this.
'Curious…' he thought with more inquisitiveness rather than a sense of loss, 'The feeling is…exquisite…' he trailed off, marveling at his own feeling of utter devastation.
He had never before felt that way…No death had ever affected him the way hers did. And because it was a new sensation for him; a sensation that had been brought on purely by instinct, he was certain to savor every moment of it…No matter how painful it would be.
He wanted to laugh at that moment as he felt that he would burst out into tears. He was beginning to resemble a masochist; but he cared not.
The feeling was extraordinary…
He froze; there it was again.
He closed his eyes as he thought more of the woman he had lost…
'No! I did not lose her…' he thought to himself stubbornly, 'She…I had lost her a long time ago…'
He shut his eyes tighter as he remembered her…Her voice, her then longer hair…her smile…her kisses…
At that moment…he couldn't take it anymore…
He broke.
He was the one that came up with that plan; that plan that killed her.
'It's not murder…'
That was the mantra that was running through his head. It wasn't murder. Of course not. 'She's a casualty of war. No more…no less.' he thought with feigned belief.
He suppressed a cry that threatened to erupt from his lips. It was a lie and he knew it. He was the reason why she was dead…
He killed her.
'I killed her…' he thought in anguish.
His mind had rationalized his decision and her death as necessary…and justified. It made sense; after all, they were in the army. Deaths were common. People who die on the battlefield or on the hospital beds were all faceless…nameless…worthless…
But it was his heart that protested.
He knew her; he knew her inside and out. She was a good person. A good person with a noble and just heart…
No.
She wasn't faceless…She wasn't nameless…She wasn't worthless…
She was someone…Not only to the people of the Maribel, but to him as well. His heart knew…that what he had done didn't have any rationale…or any justification.
He had killed her; he had murdered her…
It was unjustified…
The reason why he had decided to leave her was unjustified. He just did…For the sake of male pride.
All of the major decisions that he had made thus far concerning her…were all unjustified. And now that he realized it, he realized that a painful sensation was eating away at his gut…
Like a dull knife repeatedly stabbing him…No relief seemed to be in sight.
No.
Not for this murderer.
Not for her unjustified murder.
He buried his face in his hands…and there let loose the feelings that he had thought he had lost…
He then let run amuck the tears that he had long held back.
He deemed that it was alright. This was something that would never happen to him ever again. Why…?
Because he had only allowed one person to possess his heart. Only she had been able to steal it from him. And when she had begun her eternal slumber, she had taken his heart along with her, never to return; never to recover.
This was the first and the last time Gale would feel this pain that emanated from the foolish human emotion of love. And because of that promise of finality and absolutism, Gale deemed that it was alright to cry…
He then touched his cheek and felt the wet tear. He looked at his finger and gazed at the tear. He smiled bitterly. She was right.
Tears…were symbols of humanity.
Tears were brought on by raw and unadulterated emotion.
He had forgotten. Serph and the others had called him unfeeling. That was because he had never before shed tears…
But now, that assumption was void. Tears were now gracing his cheeks. He sighed; she was right.
Tears…did remind him that he was human.
But what really made him feel happy in the midst of all the bitterness and agony that he now felt was that, he was human because of her.
She had taught him how to be human.
When they had parted ways, he had forgotten what it was to be human again. But now…now that she was gone, she had reminded him.
He really did have a soul didn't he…?
He really was…human.
And so, like a weak and frail human being within the confines of a dark and twilight-enshrouded room, bathed only in eternal night, Gale had shed his unshed tears. Within that room…that room in which no man could ever hope to hear him, wherein he could be a child again, he had sung a dirge for her.
Her unsung requiem.
xxxxx
FIN