I wrote this back in 1999 and posted it on one of the now defunct "Combat!" sites. Having just found a copy among my files I thought why not repost the darned thing. Heck, there just might be someone out there who hasn't read it. Be warned - it's short and silly with run-on paragraphs, but feedback is still very much appreciated!
How Hanley Got His Bars
One miserable overcast day in late June a correspondent for UPI was being driven close to the front to pick up on some stories. He couldn't help but notice the tall sergeant standing at the side of the road. Now this correspondent was a card carrying member of the skirt chasers club, but even he was amazed at this slightly disheveled, battle weary solder. The sergeant took off his helmet, almost on cue, revealing a head of thick dark hair. The sun broke out, casting a single beam onto that lone figure. Correspondent had driver slam on the brakes. This was getting better and better. Sergeant turned slightly toward the jeep, arching one perfect eyebrow at the gawking correspondent. Perfect brows framed perfect green eyes which in turn accented a perfectly Homeric nose and the list goes on and on. Correspondent now thinks to himself, if only this guy can speak! Correspondent gets out of jeep, walks over to tall, dark and handsome and asks his name.
"Hanley, Sergeant Gil Hanley."
Correspondent nearly faints at the deep resonant baritone! BETTER AND BETTER! Correspondent immediately becomes Correspondent/promoter!
Being well connected with a certain General Schmoo, Correspondent/promoter takes Sergeant Hanley over to meet General with the idea of "Sergeant Hanley – recruitment poster guy extraordinaire!" And with that voice, radio spots, interviews! The list is endless, but there's just one problem! Sergeant Hanley should become Lieutenant Hanley just because, hey, wouldn't he look great in an officer's uniform! Why, the recruitment of new WAACs alone would be phenomenal! Can you imagine some young thing in say, Grand Island, Nebraska going about her business, walking past the Recruitment Center only to be caught in the mesmerizing stare of those heavenly green eyes, those perfect brows and those teeth! (Yes, the poster would HAVE to be in color)! So many girls would enlist that after the War the President would have to declare the WACs official members of the U.S. Army! But wait, said ladies' boyfriends would see the effect of that uniform on the female population and would, of course, also enlist en mass! Hey, the uniform does make the man!
This is all well and good, but after the promotion, new Lieutenant Hanley, being the man he is, full of integrity and honor, wants back with his outfit, to fight beside his men, to lead them on to victory and all like that! So, "goodbye Correspondent/promoter guy! Goodbye, General Schmoo and thanks so much for these nifty gold bars!" A true hero returns to his men, none the worse for wear and sporting his now famous bars and moniker, Lieutenant Hanley.
END