Guess Who?

"Hey Chandler, Who's Miss Bong?"

Joey had just returned from his audition and was carrying some of the mail that he had redirected to his new apartment. He had found the TV guide and found an amusing name on the mailing address,

Ms. Bong, 90 Bedford St, Apt 19, NY 10014.

The apartment was a typical bachelor's house. It wasn't filthy, but it sure was Untidy, with lots of 'guy' stuff around- Magazines with women in their lingerie (and some with even less) strewn across the couch, old action figures and mechanix trucks stuffed into drawers, posters of their favorite comedy scenes from movies adorning the walls. They had an old, round table that you'd find in a 70s coffee shop that they barely ever ate at. All their meals were either on the couch or by the kitchen counter-especially Pizza nights. The fridge was full of beer, sodas and cheese. The cupboards were lined with breakfast cereals.

Joey wondered if it was someone playing a prank on Chandler and also wondered why he had not thought of it. He had grown quite close to Chandler over the past few months. Having grown up in a house full of sisters, it was nice to have a male roommate. Although the TV guide who disagree on the gender.

"Ahh, Miss Bong! She used to live here before you. We had JOINT custody of that subscription" Chandler replied in a tone which had come to be known as chandleresque.

"So, this apartment had Bing Bong living in it?"

"Yes, that's the British cousin of Ping Pong"

Joey rolled his eyes at Chandler's antics and responded, "Well, where do you want me to keep it?"

"Just hide it somewhere so that it does not get stolen. I have feeling that Mr. Heckles is stealing it from the apartment.

"Really?"

"Yes, He must get quite lonely downstairs and I have seen him snooping around our and Monica's place. He should be sent to Arkham."

"What's Ark ham?"

"Batman, Arkham Asylum?"

"Ohh, I thought it was kind of a new deli meat"

It was Chandler's turn to roll his eyes at Joey's simple mindedness. He was happy to see his roomie back home but he appeared a little anxious. Chandler really wanted to tell Joey something.

"So Joe, I have some bad news for you."

"What?" Joey replied while planted himself onto the comfort of their sofa. He hid the TV guide under one of the cushions and turned on the TV.

"I am not going to be able to watch Baywatch tonight"

"What? Why? Are you moving out? Can I have your room?"

"I have a date" Chandler replied nonchalantly but with a small smile on his face.
"YOU? A date? Really?" Joey responded with a hint of sarcasm. This was the first time Joey had heard Chandler mention that he had a date. He did not know how to react but after living with Chandler it seems that sarcasm was the way to go.
"Yes, why is it so hard to believe?"

"No, nothing, well who has a date on a Monday night? Also you are willing to go on a date and miss the premiere of the new Baywatch season?"

"Well it's actually a double date"

"That's better" The world finally made sense to Joey. He was still the stud of the apartment.

"With who?"

"You remember Kip? His Fiancé and her maid of honor"

Chandler could sense the jealousy all over Joey's face. Even though Joey had never met Kip, whenever Chandler would mention him Joey would start acting like a small child and ask Chandler who was better, him or Kip.

"So, This Kip guy is getting married?"

"Yeah, after the failed experiment between Monica and Kip, he moved out and started dating this beautiful girl named Tina"

"So how did you get dragged into the double date?"

"Well, their wedding is in two months and I supposed to be one of the groomsman and they wanted to introduce me to the Maid of Honor. Maybe they were hoping that we would get together and reduce the seating by two"

"That's smart"

"So did you catch the girl's name and more importantly where are you going?"

"Yeah, Janice Hosenstein or something and Sorrentino's"

"Oh well good luck also get me leftovers. Please order the meatball marinara"

"Yeah, I am gonna need it. She is supposedly very pretty. I hope she likes the Chan Chan Man!"

"If only there was a way to find out how one looked before meeting them" Chandler bemoaned.

"I feel that kind of takes away the mystery of meeting someone new. Also looks are not that important, it's what's underneath that matters"

"Wow Joey, that's seriously a nice thought"

"Did you believe that? That's cool, it will be a great pick up line and by underneath I mean G-string"

Chandler shook his head and walked into his room to get ready. However he soon returned outside with a thought.

"I almost forgot, Phoebe had called, she wanted to meet us at 10 at the coffee shop downstairs."

"Did she say why?"

"No not really, and I have been hoping to go there myself. Have been avoiding it since Chris sold it and Monica banned me."

"Ok great, I will join you there after my audition"

"You have a late night audition?"
"Yeah it's for some really hot and steamy movie with a great director"

"Oh great, good luck"

With that Chandler returned back to his room. Chandler was quite excited to meet Janice but then as is the case with everything to do with Chandler, it's always Anticlimactic.