AN: This story will eventually feature adapted characters from Soul Eater, Kill La Kill, One Piece and Overlord, as well as an eventual full fledged crossover with Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. Please do not get discouraged simply because they are not immediately present, I promise at least 5 characters from Soul Eater, 4 from Kill La Kill, 3 from Overlord and 2 from One Piece by the end of Chapter 13 which is the first time they really have an opportunity to show up. I appreciate your patience, I know you're excited, thank you for bearing with me.

=Prologue-Me Myself and Most Decidedly Not=

I don't have the faintest bloody clue how this happened. I woke up feeling very squished, warm and what I can only describe as slimy. My eyes popped open and immediately darted around, I saw a lot of things that didn't make sense, and my vision was very blurry. There was a lot of racket and what felt like immense hands had me. A moment later I was laid against something, no someone very big warm and soft. I blinked and looked up into very tired looking deep blue eyes. I feel quite certain I was making a face of confusion most unbecoming for an infant because she laughed, "Sasuke, don't make a face like that!"

My expression changed at that, What did she just call me?! I tried to look around and she said, "Fugaku! Itachi! Come meet Sasuke!" I very narrowly managed to not yowl as one of anime's baddest smiled down at me, "Hello Sasuke." I can't remember exactly what happened next but I think I might possibly have peed on him in shock.

I won't go into a lot of detail about exactly what happened over the next little bit, but my first word was "Son". Words two through five were, "of a b****! OW!" They came out very loud, very fast and I earned several very interesting looks with them. Then Fugaku, Dad I supposed, laughed and said he couldn't blame me. He would've been swearing too if anyone had done that to him. I couldn't drop kick the doctor, my infant body wasn't strong or coordinated enough for that yet, but I very much wanted to. It didn't hurt long, but that is one place I never want a pair of scissors near again.

When they handed me back to Mikoto, Mom I supposed, she asked me how I knew such a dirty word. I laughed innocently and tried to shrug. I managed to pass myself off as a baby after that by only mimicking what I heard, usually in fragments, and playing dumb and innocent quite actively. An ingenious baby for sure, but nobody ever guessed the truth. The truth of course was so wild that I don't think anyone could've ever guessed it unless they were from my world reading this record as self insert fan fiction. Even if they could have guessed, who would've ever believed them?

After all, it's not every day a grown man gets reincarnated in the newborn body of an anime character with all his memories and personality intact!

As I continued to play innocent genius kid, one thought played around in my head, I'm Sasuke Uchiha?! Well...F***. Have you guessed yet that I wasn't exactly a happy baby?

==That Night==

I was lying awake in my cradle, tickling myself with my chakra. It wasn't hard, I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about it. It's right there, you're constantly aware of it. I found it very quickly, and like I said, started tickling myself with it. The tickling was an accident. You see my first attempt to manipulate my chakra revealed it to be springy, and the recoil of said springiness to send ripples through the whole system, which tickled.

Then I had an idea. I grinned and wondered if it could really be that simple. A part of me told me there was no way in hell, but another part of me pointed out that I had been able to manipulate it just by thinking about what I wanted it to do. I willed it out around my hand, and I could feel it stretch out around my hand, forming a nice little ball. Then I clenched my pudgy little fist and willed it to get hot. Hotter, hotter, HOTTER!

Soon it combusted and as the flash of fire petered out with my laughter, I froze. Where the hell did he come from? "What are you?" Itachi asked, his Sharingan active and lending him an ultra sinister air in the dark, even my blurry vision able to see it. "Tachi!" I said in my best excited innocent voice, which was pretty good actually. Itachi didn't say anything for a moment, then he picked me up and looked at me, his Sharingan boring into my eyes, "Don't play dumb, we both know that no infant could do that."

I smiled at him, getting a little worried, "Tachi?" He was getting angry now, "Cut it out! What are you?!" I did what any self respecting toddler would. I started crying rather loudly. If he activated his Tsukuyomi I was toast. "Sneaky little," Itachi hissed and then Fugaku burst in, his Sharingan active too, "ITACHI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" "Father I-" Itachi didn't get any further because with one particularly horrid yowl I blasted fire in his face. He dropped me immediately, but Fugaku dove and caught me a few inches from the floor.

He hugged me close and bellowed at Itachi for what was probably quite a while, Itachi trying to argue that he hadn't done anything and that there was something wrong with me, that there was no way I should be able to use my chakra like that. I just trembled and curled up into a weepy little ball. My infant body was still in the period where it felt perfectly natural to just cry. Through narrow watery eyes I saw Itachi's glowing red eyes leave, and then Fugaku was rocking me back and forth trying to calm me down.

Itachi never questioned me again, but I could always see it in his eyes whenever I did something wildly advanced, he never did fully trust me after that.

==A Few Weeks Later==

I made leaps and bounds in my chakra manipulation abilities at night. By the time I had been there for a month I had all but managed to form up a Rasengan. I don't know how powerful it was, or if I was doing it right, and it was really hard to keep the rotation speed up, but I could damn sure make something that looked like one! This had some very interesting results because about a week after I got it just almost right (I hit a road block on the rotation speed thing), I got two very surprising visitors: Obito and Rin.

I examined them both very closely. Rin was extremely pretty, and very sweet. I could see why Obito liked her. Her whole face lit up when she smiled, and she smiled a lot. Obito I gave a poke in the face, "Bito winkwy." Obito smiled, "Yeah, Bito winkly." "Why?" "Bito got smushed." I poked him happily, "Mussy! Mussy Bito!" He smiled, "Yes, Bito mushy." He looked up, "Ah Uncle Fugaku, how old did you say Sasuke is again?" "One month!" Fugaku laughed proudly, "One month and he's already talking and breathing fire! He hasn't activated his Sharingan yet, but at the rate he's been going I don't think it'll be long!" "Breathing fire?!" Obito and Rin asked in unison.

I promptly fake sneezed out a half meter long plume of fire. Obito jerked away in surprise, but he did better than Itachi had and didn't drop me. Of course, I didn't give him a face full either. "Do you think he'd like to meet the Hokage?" Obito asked. Fugaku sounded surprised but thought it was a good idea.

Next day I found myself sitting on the Hokage's desk with a pair of blue eyes peering into mine from under a mop of bright blonde hair, "Hello Sasuke." "Hewo," I replied curiously before reaching out and patting his head, "Yewo." Then I laughed at my rhyme, "Hewo yewo!" "Yes, that's right," Then he sat back with a smile and started talking to Fugaku. I looked around and after a moment was crawling around. I had managed to accelerate my muscular development by ramping up the speed of my chakra flow at night, so I was able to move around about like a one year old even though I still looked like an infant.

After a moment I found a piece of paper with some handwritten notes and a diagram of the Rasengan. "Sengan," I said out loud as I looked at it. Minato sounded like he was smiling, "That's right Sasuke! Rasengan!" Then there was a Rasengan next to me. I looked at him and then at his Rasengan, then back at the paper. Then I cupped my hands and a moment later I showed him a "Sengan." I wish I'd had a camera for his expression.

A few weeks later I needed a camera for my expression when Mikoto and Kushina introduced me to Naruko. Wait what? Yep, a girl. There went absolutely every plan I could possibly have had based on canon or even any fan fiction I had ever read.