I'm Only Human

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. It is hiatus and my muse suddenly woke up. We both (my muse and I) find family dynamics extremely fascinating, hence the following.

A/N: My muse and I haven't written fics since the early years of West Wing (back when Sorkin was still writing it) so it's been awhile. My first MC fic. I'm always happy to hear comments of any kind (good or bad) as I'm always analyzing everything from every angle. Hope you enjoy!

~~~~~PT~~~~~

He wanted to 'celebrate' the upcoming final court date of their divorce proceedings, the day already on the Court's calendar when the Judge would sign it, in a conference call with his family. 'It would've been nicer in person,' he thought, 'but well they're all over the place and not getting together until Christmas.' He'd surely not be welcome there! So, he'd pre-scheduled the conference call and today was the day for him to work his magic.

Picking up his phone, he dialed his daughter first. Emily was the sensible one, the peace-maker amongst them. "Hi, Sweetheart," he opened with, hoping she hadn't become too much like her mother.

"Hey, Dad," she sounded happy to hear from him, until she added, "Let's get this over with."

"Don't you want to talk to your dear old dad a bit, Honey? He chuckled, hoping to put both of them at ease.

"We are all on a schedule, Dad, and we booked you for a certain amount of time. We have jobs, we need rest, and Mom has murders to solve." She sighed, than sounding a bit more upbeat, she added, "You can have your own private conversations with us another time, okay, Dad?" He smiled. 'Good ole Emily,' he thought, 'she's still my girl, despite what her mother wanted.'

Next he added Ricky to the call, greeting him with, "Hello, young man, how are you today?"

His own greeting was the sound of typing in the background, a sigh, and "Hey, Dad, not to be rude but can we move this along? We're working on a new idea and I'm taking some time away from it right now." Thinking of his mother, he quickly added, "We'll have the chance to talk more another time, once this idea is out of our heads and on paper." Jack sighed. This was not going as planned.

The last one he added was Sharon. She answered almost immediately. "Hello, Jack." He could just about hear the sigh and picture her holding her head. 'Wonder if Flynn is with her or just school-girl-crush eye-balling her from his desk.' He'd have to work to make her smile so Flynn could read whatever he wanted into it.

"Hello, Sweetheart, you sound tired and maybe a little breathless," he smirked to himself, adding, "and I'm not even with you."

"Jack, the children are on the line, I presume, please keep your innuendo in check." Turning to look out the window, she softly muttered, "You haven't made me breathless in years."

"Not for lack of trying, my little Ice Maiden," he oozed, than remembered the kids were on the line. 'Damnit!'

"Dad!" Ricky and Emily both chastised him.

"Kidding, kidding, you two. Jeez, can't your old man make a joke with his wife, your mother?" He sighed. "You kids have her sense of humor. Lord knows, you didn't get mine."

"How could we? You were never around long enough," Ricky responded, still typing.

Emily was slowly stretching, trying to keep her mind open and free of hostility over the past. "Can we just get this started, Dad, please?" He thought she sounded like her mother just then but moved on with his plan.

"So I've called this meeting so we can be together one last time as a family before your mother succeeds in destroying it."

"Rusty isn't on the line, Mom. What happened? He couldn't make it?" Ricky asked, genuinely interested in why 'the little brother he never wanted' wasn't involved in a family meeting.

"He wasn't invited to participate, Honey. I'll let him know if he missed anything important."

"We'll talk to him too, Mom," Emily assured her.

"He wasn't invited to participate, Sharon, because he's not family. He's some street urchin you're Hell bent on saving."

Sharon's expression changed several times while she tried to control her emotions and finally answered, "He is a good child who was born into unfortunate circumstances and has more than stepped up and begun embracing his full potential." Taking a sip of her coffee, tea definitely wouldn't do for this call, she silently thanked herself for having the foresight to close her doors and pull the blinds. She didn't need her team seeing her personal life on her face.

"As I was saying, I'd like to have family-time with my wife and my children before this happy family of ours is torn apart." He sighed loudly. This was not going the way he planned. It was so much easier to charm people in person. A wide smile, the crinkling blue eyes, some fake cheer, and 'bam' he was getting what he wanted.

"Dad, could you please not be so melodramatic?" Emily softly pleaded. "Just tell us what you want us to hear before the divorce becomes finalized."

"As long as this is taking, the Judge might be signing as we speak," Ricky added, typing slowly now as his concentration was divided between work and wondering what his father was up to this time.

"Richard and Emily," came Sharon's calming voice, "while I am sincerely sorry you both were dragged into this, this divorce has nothing to do with you two so please allow your father the opportunity to speak with each of us as he planned." Moving her chair slowly back and forth, she added, "You have the floor, Jack, please remember we are at work, regardless of the locales."

He smiled to himself, thinking 'Ah, I'm getting under her skin, just like I always do.' "Ricky, my boy, and Emily, my sweet, sweet girl, I just wanted to say that while I know I haven't always been there for you two kids, you were always in my heart and my thoughts. I love you two more than you'll ever know and more than I ever got the chance to show you, what with your mother trying to protect you from me." When Sharon stayed silent, he continued, "There were times when I tried to see you but wasn't allowed. You were too impressionable, too young, too apt to be hurt," he practically spat out, recalling being told those exact words at different times over the years.

"You were drunk, Dad," Ricky chimed in, giving up on work completely now. "You are not attacking our mother for trying to let us see only the good in you." He got up and walked around to ease the tension settling in his muscles. Running his hand through his hair, it occurred to him that it was time to get it cut again. Seemingly surprised by the lack of response from anyone, he quietly asked, "Em, you still there?"

"Yeah, Rick, I'm here. I'm just thinking." Giving up the stretching momentarily, she sat up cross-legged and touched the bridge of her nose before moving her fingers to rub her temple. "Dad, we always thought you worked hard and had to move to Las Vegas for a better job." Rubbing both temples now with her free hand, she added, "We never knew the extent of your issues until we were older and saw you arguing with Mom. You were drunk and she didn't want us to see you like that but we stayed out of sight and we listened. We heard everything, Dad, and then when you left, we stayed there to see what Mom would do." She got up thinking more stretching might help but decided on pacing instead. "You know what she did, Dad?"

She sounded so young yet so like Sharon at times. "No, Honey, I don't. I left, remember?"

"Every time," Ricky quipped.

Ignoring her brother for now, Emily continued, "She sat on the couch, hugged a pillow, and cried. Later on she told us you were sick and couldn't stay."

Everyone seemed to forget Sharon was still on the line. As her eyes watered, she blinked to clear them, trying to regain her composure though no one could see her. She ached for her children and a part of her accepted the blame for allowing the marriage to go on as long as it had.

Jack's voice broke her out of her reverie, "I never meant to make her cry. Hell, I didn't even know she did." He thought that came out honestly and like it was in no way meant to be a pot-shot at Sharon.

"Okay, Dad, let us have it," Ricky's voice was starting to sound angry, a trait he got from his father. Emily's restraint was definitely more from her mother. "You didn't know she cried? You didn't know you hurt her?" He was pacing in wider circles now. "You didn't see her stop loving you? Cuz we did!" They all heard the sound of a bang in the background, followed by 'ouch' and 'damnit.' Sharon and Emily both realized that Ricky had hurt himself banging his hand on his desk; same thing he did as a teenager when he was trying to control his emotions. "Should I remind you of all the reasons you gave us over the years? Once we were old enough? She's impossible to hurt cuz she's the Ice Maiden of FID; she's a bitch who can't ever let you get your own way; she's too frigid and what's a guy to do, huh?"

They had definitely all forgotten Sharon was still on the line. The first tear dropped as she thought of how much pain her son was in right now. 'At least he's letting it out,' she thought, 'my baby girl is too quiet.'

Jack shook his head. Sighing, he raised his voice to match Ricky's, "Yeah, I said all those things and more. I did. And I probably shouldn't have."

"Probably, Dad?" The voice was small. Emily wasn't going to argue with her father but she'd do her best to protect and defend her mother. "You told us it was Mom's fault you drank; it was her fault you gambled; her fault you cheated on her. What kind of father tells his children he cheated on their mother repeatedly and then blames her for it?"

Emily let out a little sniffle and Sharon's arms ached to hold her and Ricky both. Her gut had told her this conference call was a bad idea but she had figured Jack would just go on without her. At least this way, she knew what was said.

"I'm sorry, Honey. I did a lot of stupid things over the years, I admit, but if we could just forget all that and move on, we'd have a better relationship. The three of us, we'd be better off just starting over from the day the Judge signs, just like your mother will be doing."

Ricky spoke up first, "I started talking to you again after five years of nothing because Mom wanted me to. She said you will always be our father, for good or bad, and it was up to us now, as adults, to decide the path of our relationship." He thought of all the times his mother had covered for his father. "I came to terms with how our relationship is going to be; what we have works for me." He braced himself against his desk, "But know this, I will never forget the past. You don't get a clean slate from me; no tabula rasa. You get a relationship with me, your son, because it's important to Mom, and to an extent me too, but I will not give you the passes she gave you all these years."

"Passes? She reminded me about my mistakes every time I was getting my two days at her place. Passes? Who are you kidding, Kiddo?"

"You're not helping, Dad," Emily broke in. "I'm with Ricky on this. I won't repeat his words as obviously you heard him." She blinked a tear away then checked her expression in the mirror. "Know that we love you, we forgive you, but we'll never forget."

"Oh, my poor, sweet babies, I am so sorry I allowed you both to be hurt like this," Sharon spoke quietly, reminding them of her presence. "Please, make better decisions than I did but don't be afraid to truly love despite your memories of your father and me." The logical side of her told that advice was good for herself also. She stood up and fully looked out of her office window, hand on the bridge of her nose initially, then slowly moving to rub her temple.

"Dad, are we done here? I think Em and I need a few minutes alone with Mom."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Go take care of your mother. The pillar of strength, she is. Strongest damn woman I know. Yeah, take care of her. Give her comfort." He looked around at his office. If he hadn't already been at work, this might've turned out worse than it did. 'Oh, well, I can always stop by Sharon's office at some point. Bother Flynn some with my mere presence.' He smiled, albeit sadly, and thought, 'Well, that can be almost as good as a free cup of coffee on some days.'

Trying to sound like his usual chipper self, Jack said his good-byes to everyone. "Well, cheerio, my beautiful, talented daughter, Emily, and my very intelligent, hard-working son, Ricky. You two take care. Sharon, I guess I'll see you around."

Sharon groaned at the thought of his office being within walking distance of hers. Hoping no one heard the groan, she spoke, "Good-bye, Jack. We will only run into each other when you are defending suspects we've apprehended for crimes you are paid to say they didn't commit."

"Not to mention threaten a lawsuit if the wonderful members of your team have manhandled them in any way." He paused for effect. "Especially that Andy Flynn; quite the hothead, he is. I really don't know what…" He stopped himself. No sense making it worse.

"My team is very efficient and effective at their jobs. No need to worry about anything but your clients' guilt. Good-bye, Jack."

"Good-bye, Dad," Emily and Ricky said together, hoping he'd get the hint it was time to leave the call.

"Yeah, bye. I got it. Bye, All." He hung up thinking to himself again that at least he could drop in on Sharon.

When it was just her children on the line, she spoke again, softly, trying to keep emotion out of her voice. "He wasn't always like that. We loved each other once, long ago, but we did." She began pacing around her office, having moved from behind her desk. "I loved him enough to have two wonderful children with him." She shook her head at the memory of their early years. "I tried very hard to keep all his demons away from you both. I had no idea he mentioned those things to you children." She wiped another tear brave enough to fall. "I am so sorry you got pulled into his dark side. Neither of you were ever meant to see that part of him." She sighed again. "I am truly sorry, Emily and Ricky, and I wish I could just hold you both and make your pain go away."

"It's not your fault, Mom, you tried to keep us away from it, but Dad is who he is and you making up stories didn't change that one iota." Ricky hated that his mother was hurt yet felt responsible for his father's actions.

Emily decided to speak up. "Dad made the decisions he made, thinking you'd always be there for him."

"To bail him out of his latest fiasco," Ricky broke in.

"Dad told us those things. Even if you had divorced him twenty years ago, he would've been hurt, Mom, and when he's hurt, he's angry. Even you know that, Rick."

"I know, Em. He would've still managed to tell us. He would've just called you his ex-wife instead of his wife. Same guy, same message, Mom."

"You two children are the best thing that happened from our marriage and I love both of you to pieces." She hadn't said that since they were kids worrying about bedbugs and monsters under their beds. She smiled sadly, wondering if they remembered it.

Inhaling slightly, she added aloud, "I know you both have grown into your own persons as adults. You've shown that by your support of me, my decisions, and by accepting Rusty into our family."

"Rusty! I'm glad he didn't hear any of this. The poor kid would really be messed up by some of it. Right, Em?"

"Yeah, like I said, we'll talk to him soon, Rick."

"No asking him how I'm doing because the only thing he is going to hear about this call is that it went as expected. Emily? Ricky?"

"We hear ya, Mom. No checking on you through Rusty." They both reassured her.

"How are you both doing? Feeling?" she asked quietly.

"I'm glad Dad knows where we both stand in regards to our relationship with him," Ricky answered.

"And I'm glad that Dad knows we will have a continued relationship with him. He just can't undermine what we have with you, Mom." Emily couldn't help herself. She preferred when the people in her life got along nicely.

"Are you two in a better place now? I love you both and I need to know that you're okay." They were only ever meant to see the good side of their father. 'Maybe this is for the better,' she thought, 'maybe it'll mean a real relationship with him, despite the past.'

"We are, Mom, go solve some crimes," Emily answered, "Or have some tea with Flynn," Ricky teased.

Ignoring the Flynn comment, having done so throughout the entire call, she moved on. "I can't wait to see you both at Christmastime." That thought made her smile, despite the lingering sadness over what her children knew from their father. A man she once loved with all of her heart; the very same heart that soon hardened and closed, afraid to let another man into its depths again.

"See you then, Mom." Her children sounded happier.

"Love you both," she said again.

"Love you more," they each said, chuckling as they hung up. She smiled; they remembered: love you to pieces, don't let the bedbugs bite, left the night-light on because monsters under beds don't like soft light, and love you more. Some memories she would cherish forever.

Sharon looked at her phone, silently asking it for her next move. She looked in the direction of Flynn's desk, though the still-closed blinds prevented her from seeing if he was actually sitting there. She sent the text anyway, in case he was.

Andy felt his phone vibrate. I need my Andy. He shook his head and smiled slightly. He knew 'my' should be 'you' or maybe 'my friend' but 'my Andy' had a nice ring to it as far as he was concerned. Two minutes please. He was about to get up but was glad he hadn't yet. OK.

Giving her five, he slowly opened the door and let himself in without saying a word. When she turned towards him, not knowing what else to do, he opened his arms, holding her tightly when she quickly moved into them.

[The End]