This is a spoof of the pilot episode (we've all seen the pilot, right?). I'm a total fan of CiC and wrote this in the spirit of fun. It's a light-hearted, good-natured parody, if you will. I just felt like having a good laugh while awaiting the return the show. Hope you find it entertaining. Now, on with show.
Commander in Chief HIATUS
Note: CiCHiatus takes place in an alternate tv universe, where things take place differently. And again, this is a fun-spirited parody.
The scene opens in France, in a French elementary school auditorium where young French children have been assembled on stage and are singing "The Hokey Pokey" in French in tribute to the American dignitaries who are in the audience.
The Vice President, Mackenzie Allen is also among them, about 2 or 3 rows back, sitting with a rather placid smile. "When is this going to be over?" she thought to herself. "First we had to sit through 'Fifty Nifty United States' and now this!" Just before she was going to reach over and grab her husband Rod's hand and pray for deliverance, she sees Vince approaching with a puzzled look.
Vince leans in and begins to whisper "Mam we have a …"
"Great," Mac jumps up thankful for the chance to exit pushes past Vince and runs into the hallway. Vince, a little surprised runs to catch her and leads her into an alley behind the school. There they see Jim and Melanie Whackstone. Or is it Blackstone?
"Vince, what's going on? What are they doing here?"
"I don't know. We weren't given…"
Mac, cutting Vince off, "And why are we in an alley? I am the Vice President. That is the President's Chief of Staff I see right? Why are we in alley? There wasn't a classroom available or someplace more dignified? What a town!"
Befuddled, Vince begins to answer, "I don't know. We..."
Jim sees Max and walks over and talks over Vince. "Mam we came here to tell you personally. The President has a bleeding aneurism which has led to a stroke. He's in the hospital but doctors expect a full recovery."
Rod comes up from behind holding Mac's coat. "Safe to join?"
"No!" Jim and Melanie yell in unison.
"Hey," Mac answers back. "That's the Deputy of Got My Back you're talking to." Clearly miffed, she turns her attention to Rod. "Rod,"
Hold on this is really classified information," Melanie interjects. "I don't think Rod"
"Shove it Melanie." Mac cuts in. "Rod, the president is dead and I'll be taking the oath. All hail the…"
"Hold on, wait. My Teddy, I mean President, is not dead. We're here to,"
"Tell you to resign." Melanie finished.
Mac a bit taken aback gathers her composure and looks at Melanie and Jim and then juts her full hand forward in a very trump-like manner. "You're fired!"
Jim winces. "You can't fire us like that. That's not how it works."
"And that is a little played out honey," Rod suggests.
"I guess your right…. But watch your backs." Mac stared Jim squarely in the eye as tense dramatic music began to swirl around them. Jim engaged her stare with his own, and then the game was on. Did Jim realize he was going up against the undefeated champ of Stare-Chicken? Mac had the game down and was now working her signature – icy, yet charming, fierce but oh-so-cool, thoughtfully intriguing, look of: you've gotta be kidding me…I'm not backing down…do you know who you're talking to?...let me remind you… Who would blink first? Dun dun dunnnn (or something to that effect).
After a strategic and crafty "hey look Jim, its Teddy!" from the DGMB (that's the Deputy of Got My Back) a distracted Jim conceded defeat and led the gang to Air Force One.
Aboard Air Force One…
Mac is standing before everyone about to delegate instructions. "As your Commander in Chief…"
Jim rolls his eyes. "You're not CiC yet."
The plane bumps violently along and Rod comes from the cockpit in an urgent manner. "There seems to be some rough weather ahead and the pilots are not confident they'll make it through so we're making a pit stop in Zurich until things calm down."
"What a town," Mac replies to the news. "Good thing I know how to fly one of these things. She says as she heads back to the cockpit. "Everyone buckle up."
Mac takes over piloting and single-handedly flies the plane back to Andrew's Air Force Base – in record time. Once they land and Mac rejoins the staff, everyone stands ands applauds and give their congratulations. This goes on for a good 45 minutes as random voices could be heard saying, "She's amazing!" "And smart." "She looks great." "How'd she do it?" She's the best!" and "At first I doubted her but now I think she's the best thing since sliced bread!"
Meanwhile Teddy Bridges does indeed pass away (though some say negligence killed him, as he was being treated at a student hospital where the students did not know how to use a defibrillator).
In the Allen/Calloway Kitchen…
Rod and Mac are walking in and see their children. Mac greets each of them with an affectionate "Babyyyyy."
"So my babies, what do you think about me as Prez? You know, this would mean that even though I was VP, we'll have to pretend like we know nothing about living in the public eye or that people are interested in invading our privacy."
"That's right," Rod added. "From here on out we'll act like we never expected our lives to change drastically and that it didn't already change drastically when your mother became the first female independent VP elected into office."
"We'll have to act like I somehow we always had all this time to spend as a family even though I was VP… and Chancellor of a university before that and in congress before that,"
"Let's not forget I was Attorney General and then your COS." Rod further adds.
"But only now as Prez, we suddenly have no spare time." She looks around the room gauging the response. .Everyone seems to understand.
"I say go for it Mom," Horace says taking a break from the beer he's been guzzling. "I'm so sweet and agreeable that you are oblivious to any wrongdoing on my part so I completely support you."
"Awww baby." Mac smiles. Now turning her attention to Becca, she asks, "and what about you baby?"
Becca, who's been marching around the kitchen waiving protest signs that say "Resign Now", stops to answer. She puts the placards down, revealing a t shirt that says: I desperately crave attention and really, really want to be my mom's best friend cuz I think she's AMAZING. But I am way too proud and stubborn to ever say so or do anything that may indicate this so…Resign Now.
"Its not what the people want." She mumbles.
Amy, who has grown to a good 120 pounds, puts aside the mega brownie she's been chewing on and takes a sip from her big gulp. "Will they put your face on sugar cookies?"
"Ahh, no."
"Oh. Well I love sugar cookies and mmpprhwmph," Amy shoves the last of the brownie in her mouth smearing chocolate all over her face.
Mac sighs and turns to Rod. "How do you feel bout that?"
Well, you know I've always dreamed of being President, so I'm happy to live vicariously through you until the executive producer gets the boot and the writers change direction."
"Again." Everyone in the kitchen chimes in.
"Ok," Mac says nodding. "Let's do this."
Fast forward a few scenes and now a small group assembles at the VP home where Mac is readying to take the oath.
Nathan Templeton approaches her.
"I hear you were asked to resign. I think you should."
"Scram." Mac shoves past him.
He was flabbergasted. "She just blew me off," he thought. He goes to retry his intimidation tactics and follows Mac into the VP Library.
"Why do you want to be President?" he asks.
"For the same reasons Teddy Bridges did…"
"No, no. You want the power."
"Yes."
"WELL THAT'S THE PROB…wha?" Templeton's face fell. "I thought for sure you were going to say that wasn't you."
"Look, I'm taking the oath. Now get outta my way." She begins to briskly walk out of the room before turning around. "But before I do, maybe I can borrow your Bible?"
Mac could read the question playing out on his face. "Oh sure, I'm always praying and making references to "The Lord" but no, I do not have a Bible in this here extensive library of mine."
Still at a loss for words, Templeton reaches in his bag and hands her a Bible. Mac smiles, knowing that after being arch enemies with completely different ideals and morals for a couple of episodes, they'll be the best of friends…and then back to enemies…and then friends again… and then enemies…and then…
Next Time on CiCHiatus…Mac has to choose a new VP and Rod, Jim and surprisingly Jayne, are drawing straws. Meanwhile Mac works on drafting a "no more sweets for children" initiative, aptly called "The Amy Bill."