A/N: Hi! This is my first take on Merlin and Arwen in particular. The idea for this story came after watching 'The Once and Future Queen' and is set right after it. After the last episode with Lancelot and Guinevere, hope for Arwen is crucially needed so there it is. Hope you all like it! :)
***
The handkerchief felt like silk between Arthur's fingers. It was made of a simple, uninspired piece of white cloth but to him, it was finer than anything else in this world. He held it in his palm with reverence and protectiveness.
"I thought you could wear it for luck," Gwen had said to him. Her eyes had betrayed the fear that it would not be good enough for him. But his heart was enraptured by her unadorned concern and her half-casual, half-awkward smile. She had thought of him, not Prince Arthur, but him who had laughed with her at their meals together. The one who sounded like a pig in his sleep. He smiled at the memory of her frankness. See, how could she turn him into a love-sick puppy in such a simple manner?
Arthur glanced innocently out of his window at Morgana's chambers. Perhaps, if he was lucky, her handmaiden would dust the carpet and he would manage to catch a glimpse of her? She had grown rare these days. Even Merlin wasn't behaving strangely to draw Gwen to his manservant and eventually to himself.
The more he thought about it the more he realised that there was no one like Gwen. No one who had unwavering faith in him yet openly complained about his faults. She hadn't even hated him when his father had hers executed. She had instead steadily told him that he was not to be blamed, reiterating her faith in him as a person, a prince and maybe as friends. He had noticed this accepting, practical courage in her when they were in Ealdor.
He also remembered the last tournament. The handkerchief was not just a token to him and she probably hadn't realised how much it touched him that she had given a gift for himself. All his life, people had gifted him the finest things because of his title whereas she had thought of him and no one else. It was probably all that: the amalgam of silent strength and sincerity which had made him kiss her. Neither of them had expected it yet at that instant, he knew with every fibre of his being that kissing her was the most natural thing to do. As if everything cried out that this was where he should be.
However, the confusion trailing behind the kiss was translated in pained acceptance that they could not be together. He had told it to her but why did she have to be so understanding? It would have been easier if she has shown open hurt. Now there remained only the blush that tainted their cheeks whenever they met.
He continued to glance outside but silence was soon dissolved when Merlin barged in.
"I've already polished your amour!" Merlin said briskly. He was clearly proud of himself.
Arthur had only a second to stuff the handkerchief back into his pocket. "When will you learn to knock, Merlin?" He scowled at his manservant.
Merlin's attention was, on the other hand, concentrated on something else, "What's that in your pocket?" He peered around Arthur's hand which had rushed to hide the handkerchief but the treacherous token flew out of his hands along a gust of wind and fell right on Merlin's feet who picked it up with great interest.
"It's just a handkerchief. Give it back to me," Arthur ordered more sternly than usual.
Merlin's grin grew wider, " I knew you loved yourself, but to actually use a girl's handkerchief?"
"Shut up Merlin. Stop smirking and open your eyes. Can't you see it's not mine?" Arthur said steadily but soon regretted his words.
"So someone gave it to you?" Merlin rubbed his chin to decipher this mystery, "Let's see, only ladies tie it to jousters," he mused.
Arthur could have easily taken the token back but he knew Merlin's curious nose would pester him about him with smirks. So, he preferred to let him imagine scandalous plots and plopped himself on his bed.
"But you've only been to one tournament recently and no lady knew who you were except... Gwen," Merlin deliberately lazed to mention her and his eyes narrowed.
Arthur's head shot up, "Don't be ridiculous! Give it back to me. Take my clothes to wash."
"You can trust me," Merlin prodded with mischief in his eyes.
"The last time I trusted you you gave me rat soup for dinner!"
"You didn't specify what you wanted!"
"Why not give me lizard soup for that matter?! I'm sure it would have beaten the rat soup for you!"
Merlin rolled his eyes, "It would have been better than making me have the rat soup. Anyway, who is the lucky lady?" he asked.
"There's no one. I found it... somewhere.."
"And where was that?" Merlin sensed he was on the right track.
"Erm..." Arthur hesitated, "Where did I find it.... Near the stables!" he answered victoriously.
"So you won't mind then if I take it to wash? After all, it was in the stables, " Merlin stressed his last words.
Initial anger would have snatched the token back but Arthur thought it better to let Merlin take the token away for a few hours than to reveal anything to his manservant. He watched lingeringly as Merlin stacked the handkerchief on the laundry basket.
"But I also want you to sharpen my sword, clean my boots, polish my armour, and clean the stables," Arthur smirked as Merlin winced at the sound of stables- It was the perfect revenge.
Sulking, Merlin grabbed the stack and was at the door when the casually peered out of the window.
"Oh, look it's Gwen." he said.
Arthur forgot Merlin's presence and shot his head out to have a glimpse of her only to realise that there was no Gwen and Morgana's windows were still tightly shut. He inwardly groaned and was ready to make Merlin's life a living hell but the manservant had already left with a cheeky smile and a whistle in the air.
***
Fast steps paced around the chamber and burrowed eyebrows indicated rash irritation in Arthur. That Merlin! He definitely knew something! Otherwise, how could he have mistakenly left the handkerchief in Lady Morgana's stack of washed clothes? The look on Merlin was the face of a notorious prankster. And how casually had he mentioned it in amidst their hunting? Arthur would nearly have hit a tree in full face had he not held firm on the ground.
Stupid Merlin! Now I'm lounging in Morgana's chambers like a thief! Arthur thought as he opened drawers and cupboards. Ha, found it! A victorious grin crept on his handsome face.
He held the token in its hands and checked for any tear(Merlin would hear of it otherwise!) Maybe cleaning was not so bad after all, he thought. The fabric was even softer and he could still smell the familiar perfume of flowers in it-her perfume. Memories of Gwen and him together in the small home were even sharper and it physically hurt not to live there again. He slowly lost himself in the softness of the token when the voice he had been so desperate to hear drew him back.
"Sire?" Gwen's low voice asked.
Arthur swirled around to face her. He found it astounding that she could be even more beautiful than the last time he had seen her. Unwillingly, he blinked and drew in a deep breath.
"Erm... I came to see Morgana," he replied lamely.
"Lady Morgana is with Gaius... Her nightmares are back," she replied and pursed her lips in characteristic worry.
She was so calm compared to the drum-like heartbeats in his ears that silence seemed long when they stood so far apart. But was she calm? He could distinguish the familiar pink blush on her cheeks. She also held her hands tightly together and her eyes were firmly glancing everywhere except at him as if one glance at him would break her composure. When she did finally lift her eyes, the flicker of white in his hands grabbed her attention. Recognition flashed and her breathing deep, she stared at him and the strange image of a prince protecting a simple fabric with fierce determination.
"You kept it?" she said softly. It wasn't a question nor was it a statement. It was realisation mingled with bewilderment and something he could not describe... hope?
He didn't know what to say or to do for that matter. Things were always different with Guinevere and there was no need to hide anything from her.
"Of course," he replied holding the eye contact for as long as possible.
Gwen tilted her head, her eyes clear, "Why? I thought..."
"It's from you, I would not give it away," Arthur said quickly. When she didn't say anything, he took a few steps forward. He gave a half-hearted smile to ease the tension, "It's been so long since we last talked. Must be since-" He didn't finish his sentence... Must be since I was so stupid enough to think that it would be easy forget.
He saw her lips part to sigh and her chest heave but she still stayed quiet, possibly thinking about his last words- "I'm afraid my father wouldn't understand."
"You don't have to explain," she said simply.
The simplicity in her demeanour nearly exasperated him. But at the same time, it was this same simplicity which he knew deep in guts made him grin in lost thoughts.
"Why do you have to be so... understanding?" He asked bewildered, angry, exasperated and in innocent endearment.
She fixed her eyes on him and felt her purse flicker madly when she realised at how close they actually were; so close that she could nearly touch his red shirt. When had he stepped so close to her?
"Some of us need to be practical, Sire," she said.
"Guinevere, I..."Arthur struggled to finish. I what? I am Arthur, not Sire? I am so sorry? I can't stand this? I miss you? Perhaps, I... love you?
But the trail of thoughts was left behind as her warm brown eyes collided with his blue eyes. No words were shared next for there was no need for them anymore. There was only the distance to bear with. Only their heads tilted, her unwavering faith, and his eyes darting from her eyes to lips and back forth. Only his slow, lingering touch to play with her curls. Only Arthur and Guinevere bathed in the sunlight, lips only breaths away. It started with their lips only faintly grazing each other, testing, and it ended as quickly there for the door was blasted open by none other than a grinning Merlin.
"Gwen, you'll never believe-OH!" Merlin gaped and Gwen and Arthur bolted away from each other with a sudden coolness enveloping them. It was both resented and welcome to their warm cheeks.
"Merlin, you idiot! This is not your castle to roam in!" Arthur glared at a Merlin smirking at the two flushing individuals. As for Gwen, she could barely look at him.
"That was always your thing, Sire," he replied still smiling as if he had just learnt a new magic trick. "Everything allright, Gwen?" he asked.
She blushed harder and nodded. She threw a last glance at Arthur's pleading face but still scurried away. Arthur's eyes followed her till her form disappeared and shot back to the intruder.
"You...." Arthur gritted with dangerously narrowed eyes but Merlin only smirked harder.
"You got back your handkerchief," Merlin said.
Arthur only ignored him and went on, "You knew I would come here and you sent Gwen after me!"
"Wait! Before you start to give me your usual threats of amour polishing, you should at least thank me!" Merlin sulked. "I got you a moment with her."
Arthur stared at long at him before relaxing. Merlin had a gift of helping people in a peculiar fashion. For once, even if his help had come in the most unexpected manner, it had culminated into a possibility.
"You know then..." he mused.
"Can't miss it when you practically jump out of the window to see her," Merlin replied and chuckled. "But I didn't know so much would happen."
"The problem Merlin is that nothing can happen," Arthur said irritated.
"You can change that when you're king," Merlin stated simply.
"King." Arthur pondered over the words. It was so far ahead. Too distant. He couldn't expect her to wait so long and with the direction things were taking, he would go insane soon enough.
Thoughts of another kind occupied Merlin in the meanwhile. He had noticed that Arthur was trying hard to be himself to the world outside but to someone like Merlin, it was clear that the prince was disturbed. It was the small details which gave away the secret. The surreptitious glances to Morgana's chambers and the most importantly, the new found habit of reaching for his pocket. He had noticed the smile that would momentarily find its way on Arthur then before leaving place to despondent thoughts. It was then that Merlin realised that the glances went past Morgana to Gwen. At the last feast, Arthur could barely keep his eyes off her and her name cropped randomly in conversations. Not to forget the fierce looks that were sent to any knights who dared praise her figure. On another occasion he had mentioned to Arthur that Gwen wanted lilies for Morgana and by dawn a confused Merlin was sent to Gwen with a dozen lilies. He would have normally been sceptic of his intentions but Merlin had seen through Arthur's prattish behaviour to distinguish powerful admiration for Gwen.
Coming out of his musings, Arthur made for the door, rubbed his hands together and smiled, "So are you going to smirk the whole day like an idiot? Come on, sword practice!"
Merlin's cheerful voice echoed in the stone hallway as he followed Arthur and they began their usual routine.
"You know, one day you should definitely change your way of thanking me," Merlin said.
"Shut up, Merlin," a laugh replied.