This is my favorite heterosexual crack pairing. Period. Companion fic to Birds, Birds, Birds, and Leather Jackets and Kryptonite.
The heat was unbearable. Well, actually, the heat combined with the intense humidity was unbearable. I'll never know that the younger mutants like about the Florida Keys, I just know that I hate it. I prefer the cold to the heat, but nooo, no one ever listens to Logan, oh no, no one cares about the guy with an adamantium skeleton thinks. The others are splashing around as I head to a forest of mangrove trees, when suddenly a group of sun-burnt Cubans burst out of it, their red skin gushing blood.
"Señor, señor, you help!" One of them screams to me, his eyes hanging out of their sockets. "Yemaya es angry! We hurt her! Help us, señor!" He screams before toppling over dead, a huge gash in his back. As the water is stained red, I let out my claws, cautiously going where the man came from.
I finally come to a ring of mangroves, the sound of desperate splashing echoing out of it. I see a flash of pure-white skin in the blood-red water and realize that someone is trapped in there.
}-{
Of all the places to be reborn, it has to be in the middle of a fucking Cuban knife-fight, and my hair just has to be so long that it gets tangled immediately, doesn't it?! I think to myself as I struggle to get air, the seawater tasting for all the world like blood. I hear a large splash and feel some of my hair being cut free.
"Hold on there, I've got ya." I hear a slightly-familiar voice say. I stop struggling. "Easy there, I dunno what you did to those Hispanics, but I'm a friend, okay?" He says as though speaking to an unpredictable animal. He frees enough of my hair for me to surface, which I do with a gasp.
"Oh thank Azar that someone familiar has come to my rescue!" I exclaim, causing him to jump.
"Wow, um, you're naked." He says, ever the master of the obvious.
"Yes, of course I am. Did you expect me to be reborn fully clothed?" I ask, spitting bloodied water out of my mouth. "You must be more stupid then you look."
"Ya know Lady," He growls, and why in Azar's name does his growl have to sound so sexy? "I can stop cutting your hair any time that I want."
"I am sorry, Logan, forgive my words." I say, looking at him from where I sit, about a quarter of my hair still attached to tree roots. "Can you ever forgive me?"
"How do ya know my name?" He demands, twirling around to face me.
"I suppose you would not remember me, for our last encounter was many long years ago." I say, sighing and not failing to notice how pointedly he does not look at my naked body. "I am Raven, the Teen Titan in the cloak who befriended Ororo."
"Oh, I kinda remember now..." He said, scratching his head. "Ya look a lot hotter now then ya did back then."
"Um, are you going to cut me free, or...?"
"Oh, right..." He said, freeing the last of my hair.
}-{
Once I've cut the last of her tangle hair she stands up but almost instantly collapses. "Damn... I feel woozy..." She says softly. "Can't walk..."
Oh for fuck's sake... A beautiful girl is naked in front of me, telling me she can't walk, and is probably gonna want me to carry her... I thought sourly to myself, sighing in frustration as I untied my leather jacket from around my waist. "Put this on and I'll carry ya to Ororo, okay?" I tell her, tossing the garment.
"Thank you, Logan." She said softly, doing as I instructed. "I am ready."
I stopped the rated R thoughts as soon as they started. "Okay, I'm gonna pick ya up now." She reached her arms towards me and I picked her up, carrying her bridal style to the beach outside the X-Men's vacation home. "Yo, Storm, I got ya a present" I shout loudly at her window, which opens with a gust of wind.
"Logan, what are you yelling abo-" She says, stopping mid-sentence when she sees the practically naked girl in my arms. "Is this some kind of joke?" She asks, floating down to us on a wind.
"Hello Ororo" Raven says in that soft voice as she clings to me. My jacket barely covering what needs to be covered. Storm removes her cape and drapes it over the girl in my arms.
"Hello, Raven" She smiles, at the girl. "I see that you have found your place among us"
"Enough a this chatter, can we get 'er inside?" I growl. The tall African woman rolls her eyes.
"Such tact, Logan" She says, a bit of resentment in her voice.
"I try"