Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Yogos, Blood and Chocolate, Family Guy, John Tucker Must Die, The Dr. Pepper company, Neko-chan, or a pair of very shiny scissors.
Hi there! I'm Lizzy. My OC is Rizu. She's going to be annoying Itachi with the list that was made by x-Orange.Neko-x. The list is all hers; I just use it to bug the crap out of Itachi. I will try to make it funny. I'm going to stop talking so I can start the chapter!
#1:Cut his hair and sell it to a wig shop!
"Heh, he's sleeping! Perfect!" Rizu took out her shiny scissors (which she bought just for this moment!) and snipped Itachi's pretty long black hair! Gasp! She was walking away with the hair to the wig shop, located conveniently next to the Itachi's hiding place. She strode through the door, making a bell ring. "Hello, how much will you pay me for an Uchiha's hair?" The old man smiled at her and said, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." Rizu's face was…like this O0. "Ummmm…Ok…So, how much can I get for this?" The old guy started to laugh hysterically. "Oh, no, little boy! I don't sell baking soda!" Rizu began to twitch madly. "I'm not a boy! And I don't want any baking soda! I want to know how much you'll pay me for Uchiha Itachi's hair!!!!" The old dude blinked twice, "You think you're not a boy? You poor, confused little man!" Rizu growled and stormed out of the shop, slamming into something that was hard an unpleasantly warm… "Oh, crap…hi, Itachi-kun…" Itachi kept a straight face, looking hard into Rizu's blue eyes. "Rizu-sama, do you want to tell me how and why you're holding my hair?" Rizu shook her head vigorously, "No! No! No! It's not what you think! I-" Poor Rizu was cut off by Itachi's hand being clamped over her mouth. "Never mind, just never touch my hair again." "You've got my word!" They parted ways to go sleep. Rizu still kept Itachi's hair though; just so she could show it to Sasuke later and tell him she knew Itachi's whereabouts. Itachi went home and cried for three hours on the phone to Kisame about Rizu being 'a big stupid meanie-head who cut off his beautiful hair' then forgot all about it and went to watch Family Guy.
#2:Pour Dr. Pepper on him! And #3:Eat cookies and refuse to give him any!
After the tragic incident with Itachi's hair, Rizu stopped by a soda machine on her way to Itachi's place. "Yay! Dr. Pepper!" She quickly pulled out two dollars and fed one to the machine, hitting the Dr. Pepper button. The soda came out and she did the same thing again. "One for me, and one for Itachi-kun!" She then marched off to Itachi's house. When she got there, she walked right into his room without bothering to knock. "ITACHI! I GOT YOU DR. PEPPER!" She screamed into his ear. He whacked her over the head with a book that read Murder techniques for Dummies. "Owie! Just for that, I'm not giving you your soda!" Rizu opened the bottle and poured its contents onto Itachi. "Hey! What the heck was that for?!" Rizu proceeded to open her bottle and pour it onto Itachi's lap, making him scream like a little kid. "These are my favorite pants!"
"You deserved it, Itachi-kun." He sighed and went to change his pants. When he came back, Rizu was eating cookies watching John Tucker Must Die. "Rizu-sama, toss me a cookie."
"No." Rizu said.
"Please?" Itachi tried
"No." She said again
"Why not?"
"Because, they're mine."
"If I give you a hug, can I have a cookie?"
"Nope." She refused
"10 dollars?"
"Uh-uh." She declined his offer.
"I'll beg."
"Roll over." He did, he rolled over, twice. "Can I have a cookie now?"
"I never said I'd give you a cookie for that." She told him. He gave up and stomped out of the room in a huff. Rizu shrugged and went back to watching the movie just when Kate says, "We were trying to break your heart." And then John says, "Well, you did it." Rizu had anime-style tears streaming down her face. Rizu got up to find Itachi. He was sitting on the couch eating Yogos reading Blood and Chocolate. "Hey…" She said. He ignored her. So, she stole his book and read the page. Itachi continued to eat Yogos.
#4:Tell him he looks like a penguin!
One day Itachi was in a tuxedo and Rizu came over. She informed him that he looked like a penguin and she ended up in a hospital. I'd explain how, but it's too violent, bloody, profanity filled, and I'm trying to keep this story's rating T.
#5:Ask him if he's gay until he says yes!
"Itachi-kun…I have a question. It's kind of personal, but I have to know and you need to be honest, alright?" Rizu said, not looking him in the eye. Itachi tilted his head, "What is it?" Rizu blushed a bit and suddenly found the carpet very interesting. "Um, well, you see, um…are you…Gay?" Itachi began to yell and shout, making Rizu cover her ears. If you cut out all the swear words, you'd get, "No, where did you get that idea from?" Rizu blushed again, "Um, nowhere. Sorry, Itachi-kun."
The next day, Rizu approached Itachi once more. "Itachi-kun! Are you sure you're not gay?" The yelling started, but Rizu pulled earmuffs out of her non-existent pockets and blocked out the sound. Unfortunately, she was unable to hear his answer, so she walked to Neji's house and stole his diary and read it to Tenten and the Neji fangirls at story time.
The question "Are you gay?" was asked to Itachi so many times (Don't ask how many, I can't count that high!) that he finally cracked saying, "Yes, I'm gay! Happy?!?!"
Rizu had shrieked in terror and ran away, leaving Itachi to be angry and embarrassed.
#6&7:Paint his nails bright pink and stick sparkly flowers on them!
It was Tuesday, the day Itachi re-painted his nails. This Tuesday was different; Rizu had crashed in his bed last night, (He couldn't let her sleep on the couch, he's a ((Kind of)) gentleman for Pete's Sake!) after a massive sugar rush she kind of passed out on his bed. So, she was over and begging him to let her paint his nails. "Please, oh, please, please, PLEASE!" "Fine!" "Yay!" She brought out an unlabeled bottle and began to apply the liquid inside to his nails, telling him not to look until she was done. Itachi watched TV for 30 minutes until Rizu released his hands and said, "You can look now! I worked really hard on them!" Itachi gave a bored glance to his nails, expecting the same dull color as usual. Sadly, his fading vision did not see red. It was pink, bright, neon, happy, girly, peppy, pink! Did I mention it was pink? What was worse, Rizu had taken the liberty to stick sparkly flowers on them. The stunned Uchiha was unable to say anything. The reason being he passed out on the floor… "Itachi-kun?" Rizu poked him with a piece of lead (The kind that you use for pencils.) and it broke, so she did it again and it broke again. She continued this action through 2 cases of lead. After that, she got bored and drew on Itachi's face with permanent marker then went home. Itachi awoke 4 hours later with a horrible headache. He went to find Rizu so he could get revenge… "Oops, I nearly forgot my awesome cloak of evilness is at Rizu's house…"
#8:Burn his cloak.
"Rizu-sama! Are you home? I need to pick up my clo-" He trailed
off as he saw flames flickering from Rizu's fireplace, one that had
never previously been there. She was roasting marshmallows over it.
"Hi Itachi-kun! Come have a marshmallow!" He sat down next to her
and rotated the tasty white creation over the fire when he caught
sight of something in the fire, caught on the edge of the containment
gate (I don't know what those things are called; they keep the fire
from spreading.) "
"Rizu-sama…is that…my cloak, by
chance?" She nodded, stuffing the delicious treat into her mouth.
"I thought you could use a new wardrobe." The sharingan user
first turned red, then twitched a few times, then cried out, "WHY
DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!!?!" Rizu remained calm and shrugged her
shoulders. She swallowed the marshmallow. "Because I get bored. You
aren't the only one. Just last week I shaved Gaara's eyebrows and
blamed it on Rock Lee." Itachi sat there and stared at her,
compared to him, she looked totally normal. Black hair, blue eyes,
shorts and a T-shirt that said 'I called your boyfriend gay and he
hit me with his purse.' Written on it. He was still in his Pj's,
which were just his boxers, and a blue-gray T-shirt, uneven, choppy
black hair. And bright pink nails with sparkle flowers. "What are
you looking at?" "You really, truly, honestly, hate me, don't
you?" Rizu glomped him, "Naw! I just LOVE to make you suffer!"
Itachi was really starting to think about killing her, but couldn't
do so for some unknown force (That'd be me!) was keeping him from
committing the murder of his best friend for a second time.