A/N: I randomly started typing this one day. This is NOT a romance. I repeat, this is NOT a romance.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. If I did, I would've gotten a better casting director for Episdoes I-III, and have gotten somebody to write a better screenplay. That's just me, though.

Oh, For A Conscience

Told from Darth Vader's POV

I may be insane. OK, so I probably am insane.

But this new trouble-it goes beyond insanity, I think.

It all started last week. I was talking with those pesky officers, and one of them was really ticking me off, so I started to force-choke him, which is very normal for me. All of a sudden, I heard this voice in my head...only it wasn't really in my head, it was like somebody was actually speaking to me, a real person.

"Now, now, Vader, that is not very nice."

I stopped force-choking the man, as I was in complete shock. I looked to my right, where the voice had seemed to come from, and there, standing in the doorway, was a girl! I'm not talking a normal girl. She was unusually short, had extremely red hair, and there were these spots all over her face and arms and neck.

She smiled at me, as if she could see the expression of disbelief on my face, through my mask or something.

Then she suddenly vanished, just poof! gone.

I looked back at the officers, and they were all staring at my oddly. I swear one of them was trying not to laugh, as his face was very red.

I just strode from the room. Leave them to their little trifling matters, I thought.

As I turned the corner, I heard a voice behind me.

"Ah, a bit miffed, are we?"

It was her, again!

I got a better look at her this time. She was wearing very odd clothing, that I dare not try to describe. Very...unusual.

"Who are you?" I growled.

She grinned and flipped her hair in the most annoying fashion.

"Me? I am simply your conscience. You may call me Allie, though."

I searched my mind for the meaning of the word, but I could come up with nothing.

"Come, now, Darthy. That little voice in your head that tells you what is right and what is wrong?"

I vaguely remembered my mother speaking of something like that, but I figured it had died a long time ago, when I had turned to evil.

"Well, I'm obviously not your original conscience. You did kill that one. I am just temporary. You see, your wife, Padme," she began speaking, but I interrupted her by coughing and hacking in disbelief.

She just looked at me oddly and gave me a little half-smile. "Padme "sent" me here, though I'm not quite sure how she did that, to try and turn you back to the light.

"I am really from a place called Earth, and it is lovely down there, I tell you. Actually, I already know who you are, and the whole story of your life, really, because back home we have a movie series called "Star Wars" and it is, essentially, about you."

Well, that did nothing for my self-esteem. So, OK, it was kind of cool to learn that people from a planet far far away from here, in another galaxy, knew who I was, but to have them also know the details of my life? That was a bit of news I could have done without.

"Well, I've watched those movies about ten thousand times, and I know just about everything about you, Anakin."

I had another fit of coughing and hacking away, for she had made me choke on air by using a name that I have not heard in...practically forever!

She grinned that incredibly annoying grin and flipped her hair over her shoulder again.

"Yes, the first thing I decided to do was to start using your real name. Oh, and to tell you that that whole "hoooo paaaa, hoooo paaaa" thing you do when you breath is, though pretty cool, very annoying. It also gives away your location."

Here she paused and just stared at me for a second. I took the opportunity to pinch myself to make sure I was not dreaming. And, unfortunately, I wasn't.

"Anyway," she continued. "Since I do have an incredible task before me, I assume I shall be here for some duration. I have made a list, by the way, of all your bad traits, and also all of your good ones. The latter, I assure you, is much much shorter than the former, but we are going to try to change that."

With those words, she disappeared again, and left me standing in the hallway, chanting to myself, "Just a delusion, just a delusion, just a delusion..."

After about ten minutes of that thought running through my head, I had pretty much convinced myself that I had imagined the whole thing.

If only I had known how wrong I was.

A/N: Just a random idea I had. Tell me what you think, please.