AN: Just a short one-shot that my muse demanded be written. Death fic warning and tissue alerts are in place so if tragedies are not your cup of tea you know what to do ;-)
The following is inspired by Bon Jovi's angsty anthems particularly: "No Apologies" and "Blaze of Glory".
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original characters, locations or canon information depicted in the series, "Bonanza". I'm just borrowing them for my pleasure and hopefully the enjoyment of others. Inspired Bon Jovi's "No Apologies" and Jon Bon Jovi's hit single for "Young Guns II: "Blaze of Glory".
Tanith
They tell me that I'm wanted, yeah I'm a wanted man! I tried to tell 'em that I never drew first but I drew first blood....
They said, "Son, you're coming with us."
So I told them, "Mister, I'm no one's son!"
And they said, "Here's how it's gonna be. If you don't drop that gun on the count of three, you're goin' down and there ain't nobody can save you. So, what's it gonna be, boy?"
"I'll take my chances. I'm not backin down. I ain't done nothin' I should answer the law for," I told them.
"Then you best start prayin'. If you are innocent as you claim to be, let the Lord have mercy on your soul."
I stood my ground. I drew my gun and I prayed for God's forgiveness. I had my finger on the trigger and as I stared at the lawman in front of me. I looked into his eyes and saw my life fading away.
"Drop the gun or I will shoot! Don't you pull that trigger, King!"
I yelled back at him. "And go back to prison? No, there ain't no way I'm goin' back!" I knew there was no one to save me this time. Maybe there never was.
A shot rang out followed by a blinding and agonizing pain. But pain and I have reached an understanding. Long ago. The pain of loss and loneliness. Physical pain. It don't matter which kind of pain. They're all the same to me.
Born in a world of sin, I never figured I counted for much in the eyes of my pa. Growin' up, nothing changed and all that mattered was waking up each morning to watch the sun rise and feel its warmth on my skin. But even that was taken away from me when they locked me in that fortress and threw away the key.
Ask me if I know what love is and I can tell ya that I've seen it drownin in my mother's tears. I've seen it fade away in her eyes and I felt it like a jagged knife tearing me up inside as I stood by her grave in silent prayer. There was no one but me to say goodbye to her. There were no apologies. No one to tell me that my ma was a good woman. A good woman who made bad choices but a good woman nonetheless. She had to have been to have given me the only thing in this world I didn't have to steal or win. God must've had his reasons for taking her away from me. If that's the one thing in this world I can believe in then I do have something to be thankful for.
Now here I am staring up at the sun just like watching a glowing ember burning in a campfire. Only it ain't dark out there yet. No sirrie. But it sure is gettin' cold lying here on the dirt waitin'. Just waitin' to be weighed and measured.
To find out where my soul belongs.
At least there'd be no more iron bars to imprison me. No stone walls to close in and crush me. My only regret will be that I'll never get the chance to tell the brother I saw in Candy that I finally found what I had been looking for all my life. The one thing that can never be taken away from me again.
Freedom.
I'm a free man now. A whisper in the wind. A star in the sky.
As for the Cartwrights...
They'll have a burden lifted off their shoulders. A burden that never should have been theirs to bear.
The lawman and his posse are standing over me with their guns pointed down at my face but I ain't afraid no more.
My fear is but a ghost. I feel nothing. But one thing remains unchanged.
I'm no one's son.
I'm a free man ridin' down a lost highway toward the burning rays of the setting sun.
End
