RUN. RUN. RUN.
The alarm clock rang. One. Two. Three. It rang five times in total, before I reached out with my hand and turned it off. Damn. I rolled on my back and looked at the ceiling. There was a new spider web in the corner. Another cleaning time, I thought absently. I wasn't in the mood for anything like that. I closed my eyes. Flashes from last evening wouldn't give me the peace in wanted so much. If only I could erase all the thoughts and pictures and just enjoy the dark. That I could go to that place where there is only dark, quiet forest and the moon which illuminates the darkness and reveales the yellow eyes of grey shadows.
WITH VALVET LEGS. WITH YIELDING LEGS.
I opened my eyes and looked at alarm clock. I have to get up soon and go to school. Something I wanted least right now. Another day in prison. If I survive.
TO RUN QUIETLY LIKE INAUDIBLE GREY GHOST.
I was eavsdroping the sounds outside my room. Everything was quiet. Thar means that nobody is up yet. Timothy is most definitely still sleeping, Cross got home one hour ago from his nightshift and Allen was already on his morning walk. Slowly, I got of my bed and standed up on the carpet that was covering the whole floor of my two rooms. I'm lucky enough to have a parent with a job that gives money for a luxury house like ours.
TO RUN IN THE CAGE, ON THE ROTTEN LEAFES.
I walked to the closet and searched through piles of clothes that I had. Clothes which I didn't buy with my friends, clothes that didn't witness happy shopping. Quickly, I picked out the clothes I was going to wear today. All in black. How appropriate. I dressed up and prepared my bag, even though I wasn't looking forward to spend time in thath big, grey building.
TO RUN FORWARD. TO RUN BACKWARDS.
But ditching classes wouldn't be helpful at all. Cross can be proud of himself. He was saying that long enough so that I was actually going by the rules. I opened my door and sneaked down the stairs to the first floor. I passed the kitchen and stoped for a second. If Allen was here, he wouldn't let me go until I ate my breakfast. Sometimes he would threaten me. Everything for acomplishing his goal.
WITH SNOUT OPENED. WITH RED TOUNG.
I looked away from the kitchen and went to the front door, instead. Allen's running snickers were gone, Cross's were throwen into the corner alongside with the Timothy's shoes. I opened the locker and pulled out my black allstar shoes. A smile ran down my face. How appropriate, as I have already said.
TO RUN LIKE A GREY SHADOW, GREY SHADOW OF HATRED.
I locked the door after me and went to the bus station with quick steps. And with every step that I made, my heartbeat went faster and so my heart was threatening to jump out of my body. I was scared. Very scared. A picture of his face showed in my head. Smile. Sparks in eyes. A hand next to mine. Hi. We haven't met yet, have we? I'm Lavi. And you? I kicked a stone and shook my head. Forget it, forget it, forget it! Midnight? What an interesting name. You're going to our school? Strange that we haven't met before. Not really. We don't belong to the same group of people. Then how are we supposed to know each other?
A GREY SHADOW OF DESPISE, IN CAGE.
Hey, would you like to out with us next Friday night? Why? You don't really want that. You just want to look merciful. Don't be silly, of course I want that. It's real fun hanging out with you, Midnight. I mean it. You're very good at convincing, aplouse! And unfortunatly, I'm very weak when it comes to you. You came! I knew you would! Even though I promised myself I won't. But it's hard if your head says one thing and your heart says another.
RUN. RUN. RUN.
I stepped on the bus and approached the scanning machine with my bus card, so that it made a silent beep. I hoped nobody would sit next to me. The bus went on. The seat next to me stayed empty.
TO HOWL, TO HOWL, FEROCIOUSLY AND HATEFULY.
I turned the volume on my phone to the maximum and tapped with my foot in rythm. My fear grew bigger. What to do? Is there anything I can do? I was tapping with my foot nervously. I wanted to see him. And I was also afraid of that. My cousin has a birthday party next week. Wanna come? Don't worry, I can arrange the ride. I hitted the glass window lightly. How could I be so stupid? Sorry, but the ride is going to be late for half an hour. If you wish, you can wait at my place. Don't worry, I won't eat you. I felt a throb near my heart. It hurst. I was so naive.
WHERE ARE THE FREE WOLF GANGS?
I really wished that it would be true. But it isn't. Everything was just a farse. A sham. The bus made a sharp turn and my heart almost stopped. Soon we will be at the school. The moment I've been fearing for the whole night. From the most beautiful night in my life. So beautiful, but so fake. With my eyes I searched for red hair.
WHERE IS THE TROOP OF GRAY GHOSTS, THAT SWIMS IN THE MILK OF THE MOONLIGHT.
I couldn't find it. I didn't know if the emotion I was feeling is disappointment or relief. Idiot. I stepped out of the bus and went towards school. The fear was like a snake - it crawled through my body and made me into a human doll. I tried to look only right infront of me, in the floor. Nobody talked to me, nobody looked at me. My heartbeat went down a little. I ran through the crowd, unnoticed.
LIKE THE DEVIL'S HERD.
It seemed unnusualy for people not to look at me, call me. To laugh at me. I was sure that by now, everybody would know for my shame. The whole school seemed like a huge hunter, following its powerless prey. Me.
WHERE ARE THE SOFT NECKS OF LABMS.
A group of girls waved at me. I forced myself to smile and waved back. Sudennly a heavy hand fell on my shoulder and my whole body froze. Slowly, I looked back. The smile disappeared from my face.
"Hi." My heart went crazy. O God, o God, o God.
TO GULP SWEET BLOOD OF LAMBS.
He smiled at me with his destructive smile of his.
"Can we . . . Can we talk?" I nodded. What else could I do? I didn't want to make a scene in the middle of the school. I followed him, out of the school, across the parking place all the way to the pond. We sat down on the bench. I noticed that he was crumpling his sleave between his fingers. I started to pray for a miracle to happen. How annoying.
OH TO HOWL. TO HOWL.
"I . . . I mean . . . We need to talk about yesterday." My breath stopped in the middle. He went with his hand through his already ruffled hair. He looked like he hasn't closed his eyes at all.
"I'm sorry." I opened my eyes widly and looked at him, stunned. What the . . .?
"I didn' want for this to happen. I drank a little bit too much and . . . lost my selfcontrol." You didn't want for this to happen? That little amount of hope that I got from his apologie, was crushed into a million pieces. I felt tears in my eyes. Great. I'm gonna cry.
"O, God. No, don't cry. I didn't mean . . . Shit." I didn't even realize I was already crying. It was too much. Everything.
WHY DID YOU HOWL, WOLF, LIKE THE HOWLING OF THE EARTH, PUSHED BY A MOUTAIN OF ROCKS?
I love him. Like crazy. From the first year in the high school, since the first time I saw him. And the last three months were the best ever. I could be near him, I could talk to him, laugh with him. And yesterday I got hope that he likes me too. It was so . . . beautiful. Inspite the fact that I lost my virginity and that the realization hit me only this morning when I woke up, I was happy. Until I reminded myself I'm only one of the many.
WHY DID YOU HOWL WOLF. WHY DID YOU HOWL LIKE THERE WERE LONG BLACK THORNS SHUT IN YOUR THROATH?
The reality was the one which crushed my idealistic dreams about happines.
"Stop, stop. I think you misunderstood me." I stopped whining and looked up. He smiled at me, gently, and caressed my cheak. Stop it. I don't want your pity.
"What I wanted to say was, that I didn't want it to happen like this. I had somethin a little more romantic in mind . . . And not so soon." He stopped. I blinked through the tears. Does he want to say that I do mean something to him? That I can hope?
"Midnight? Could you answer me one question?" After a few seconds of thinking I nodded. Sudenly he seemed terribly nervous.
"Um, I . . ." He took a deep breath.
"I like you, Midnight. And . . . Well . . . I want to be with you. Like a couple." Dear Lord. I closed my eyes. I could die right here on the spot from happines. I nodded furiously before he could say anything at all. I heard his laugh and felt his hands around me, hugging me. I smiled. The cage, in which I was trapped for all this years, finnaly opened and I ran out, into the darkness, into the shelter of the forest and the troop of grey shadows with yellow eyes.