You'll be in My Heart
Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The O.C, characters or any of the songs features in the story. The only thing I own is the plot and any characters that aren't related to the show. The story is inspired by song "You'll be in My Heart" from Tarzan by Phil Collins.
Author's Notes: The story takes place a few years after the end of the series with a few changes. The stuff with Oliver & Teresa never existed, and most of the stuff from the first season is from" the happier times." This is my first O.C fic and this is mainly a Ryan/Marissa fic, with a bit of Summer/Seth.
Rating: T
Summary: 3 years ago Marissa made a choice to walk out on Ryan and their kids. Now 3 years later she comes back only this time with a life changing secret. Will Ryan learn the truth and be able to reconnect with Marissa before it's too late?
Chapter 1: It Will Be Alright
3 years ago…
"Are you sure that it's been confirmed?" Marissa Cooper-Atwood replied on the telephone as she was looking at a piece of paper in her hand. She was looking at Ryan playing with their two kids: their 3 year old daughter Angela Daphne Atwood and their 6 month old son Liam Joel Atwood.
"I know…it's just too much to handle right now okay?" Marissa sighed, "Well when…do we begin the arrangements then? Okay then I'll be there in a few days. I just…can't let them see me go through this."
"Marissa? Are you busy I need your help!" Ryan was calling to her in the living room.
"Alright then…I'll be out there in a few days," Marissa replied on the phone, "I'll talk to you later." After she hung up the phone she went to join Ryan in the living room where she found her six month old son wailing.
"This little guy here is in need of his mother," Ryan smiled handing over Liam as she went to change their son's diaper, "I think he's in need of a diaper change."
"After 3 years of marriage you still can't handle changing your six month son's diaper, not to mention your daughter's diapers too. You always need me to do the dirty work. I always wonder what is it I found attractive about you to love you so much?"
"So tell me again how long have we've known each other?"
"Since we were 16 years old that night you first showed up in Newport," Marissa replied, "I don't know what I would do if I haven't met you. We've been through so much…managed to survive all the high school drama in Newport…took on 4 years at Berkley together, followed by a three year marriage with 2 children. I wouldn't…trade anything else right now for all of this because I love you so much."
"I know that Marissa I love you too. Is…everything alright you look a bit upset," Ryan said.
"It's nothing…everything will be alright I promise you."
"Mama I want smores!" Angela replied tugging on Marissa's shirt, "Let's make smores!"
"Alright after I finish changing your brother Angie okay? Exactly how many smores have you eaten today little Ms. Atwood."
"Suddenly our daughter's addiction to smores has increased tenfold thanks to Seth's babysitting tactics of feeding the unnecessary food groups to our three year daughter. She always has this love for smores just like her mother."
"Okay we're not going to taboo that subject there," Marissa teased as her and Angela were making smores, "Once in awhile you should try one of these and Angie here wants her daddy to promise to make her smores whenever she asks for it. Is that right Angie?"
"Right!" Angie smiled eating with her mouth full of marshmallows and chocolate, "It tastes yummy daddy!"
"I can see that the Atwood girls are enjoying their smores," Ryan replied as he had Liam in his arms, "But I see it is way past someone's bedtime, c'mon I'll go tuck you in and get you cleaned so give your mommy a kiss goodnight."
"Goodnight mommy I love you," Angie smiled giving her a kiss, "Will you tuck me in?"
"Of course I will," Marissa replied as she watch Ryan take the kids to bed, "You…know I wouldn't miss it for anything."
After Marissa was watching Ryan put the kids to sleep, she went to their bedroom and looked at the family photo of her, Ryan, Angela and Liam during a weekend at Sandy and Kristen's place. It sadden her as she was about to make the hardest decision by tonight, unaware that Ryan and the kids weren't aware of it. She jumped as Ryan came up from behind her and hugged her.
"So I finally got the kids to bed," Ryan smiled, "It's just you and me alone together."
"Ryan…can I ask you something?" Marissa replied.
"Sure what's the matter you seemed a bit distant this whole entire night sweetie. Are you sure everything is alright? You look a bit tired…something's the matter I can tell. C'mon Riss talk to me please?"
"Ryan would you love me no matter what?"
"What do you mean…no matter what honey? You make it sound like something terrible is going to happen to you. I know that everything will be fine right? I love you and that is all that matters to me. You're the best thing that happened to me in my life…I couldn't imagine life without you."
"I know that feeling…would you still love even when I'm gone?" Marissa suddenly asked.
"Now why would you ask that? I'll never leave you and no matter what…I'll love you with all my heart and soul just like I promised you," Ryan replied as the two laid in the bed, "Would you ever leave me? I know I won't leave you…right?"
"Right…I'll love you no matter what," Marissa replied as Ryan fell asleep, "You looked tired out honey. I know you have a busy day tomorrow…get some rest."
"I love you honey," Ryan replied as he fell asleep, "I'll always love with all my heart…always and forever."
"I love too Ryan…" she whispered as she kissed him and cried, "…I love you…even when I'm gone…forever…I'm so sorry…"
A few hours after Ryan completely fell asleep Marissa quietly got out of bed and pulled out a bag from underneath the bed. She gently placed a kiss on Ryan's lips, careful not to wake him. After she got dressed, she quietly left the room as she saw her children sleeping. She first went to visit Angela as she saw her asleep on the bed. She quietly sat on her three year old daughter's bed as she stroked her hair and gave her a kiss.
"Oh Angie…I'm so sorry baby I'm doing this but mommy won't be around much to look after you but I want you to remember me as someone who loved you," Marissa whispered stroking her daughter's hair while she slept, "Everything will be different in the morning but I know you'll grow up to be a young bright lady. Promise me you'll be there for your baby brother and your father…you'll be the leading lady of the house when I'm not around…I don't want you to cry inside or outside when I'm not here."
Marissa took out her locket with a picture of her and the family as she placed it in Angela's hand. She gave her daughter a kiss as she placed a hand on her daughter's chest, "But I'll always be here…in your heart always." She quietly left Angela's room and she went into the nursery and saw Liam in his crib. She suddenly noticed Liam was awake and he was about to wail when Marissa picked him up.
"Oh sweetie don't cry…I'm here okay let's not wake up daddy okay?" Marissa whispered rocking Liam back to sleep, "Mommy's here for you don't worry." She started to sing the lullaby she always sang to her kids every night before they went to sleep:
"Come stop you're crying it will be alright
Come take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you
I will be here don't you cry"
"For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry…"
After Marissa finally got Liam to fall asleep, she gave her son a kiss on his tiny forward as tears swelled in her eyes. She gently put the baby back in the crib as she rubbed her finger against Liam's cheek.
"I will be here for you…in here I will be for you and Angie," Marissa replied pointed her finger to Liam's chest, "Just…remember me one day for who I am okay? I love you guys…you mean the world to me…and I'm sorry…" Marissa left the nursery as she went back one more time and left a letter on the nightstand next to Ryan's side of the bed. She sadly pulled off her wedding ring as she placed it inside the envelope and gave Ryan one last kiss.
"Goodbye Ryan…I love you so much…" Marissa sighed tearing up, "…Look after our kids…they need you more than ever…you be there for them now. I know you'll promise me…make sure they'll remember me. If I make it back someday…I should tell you then why I left and I can't make you guys watch me what I'm going through. I can't…I can't make you suffer to watch me…just remember me for who I was before this."
She grabbed her passport as she suddenly left without turning around to see Ryan one last time without crying, "It will be alright…don't worry you guys. Tomorrow it will be all different from now on. Just…keep living on life for us and the kids. Someday…you'll know why." With that, Marissa quietly closed the door and left the home she made with the family that meant the world to her.