I had to do it even if I did not want to. My therapist recommends it months ago. I couldn't do then but I have realized this is the only way to get closure. I walked up to the jail and took deep breaths so I could say what I needed to. I went to his cell. I wish I could do this without seeing Andy "Monster as I call him" Evens but this needs to be done face to face. When I get there he just glares at me.
"What are you doing here?" Andy shouted. "Didn't you ruin my life enough already'
I get angry at that. How dare he say I ruined his life after what he did to me and almost did again if the students did not wise up and stop it! He made his choice that is why he is in here today not me. I have so much to say but I do not know where to start.
"I did not ruin your life!" I hear myself saying without thinking about. It was like the words just escaped from my mouth. I needed to just say what I needed to say without him influencing anything.
I took a deep breath and began.
I will always remember what you did to me but you will not be able to control me anymore. I am moving past everything. You caused me so much heartache and even though I am moving past I can still feel myself getting controlled by you. I wish I never met you! You made my life hell. I cannot be in a steady relationship without seeing your face and having a flashback at what you did to me. I have also realized if I don't let go of my anger toward you I will never be free so I forgive you for what you did but I will never forget.
With that I walked out of the jail feeling good about myself and for the first time since I was raped I feel happy.