I really don't know how this happened but it did. Very sad story inspired by the song Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo. I don't know if I want this to be more than an OS, it is too sad and I am not used to this so.

Again, English is not my first language (so be nice haha). I wrote it in Spanish first but I know that most of my followers don't speak Spanish and are waiting for me to translate my other stories as well, so here you go.

WARNING: self-harm, alcohol and drug abuse.

Habits

Regina Mills, genius girl, successful woman and one of the best lawyers in the state. Those who knew her wouldn't recognize her right now. She was sitting in her empty tub trying to finish up her not so healthy dinner. She was staring at it while playing with the french fries. 'How did she end up like this?' A question that she would ask herself everyday but never found the answer. Sometimes she thought it was just a nightmare, but the scars on her arms told her otherwise, they were the evidence of how alive she was. The brunette put her plate aside and took a gulp of one of the most expensive whiskies. Then she extended her arm to grab half a cigarette that she left from a few minutes ago, she lighted it up and inhale, keeping the smoke inside her for a few and then let it go through her nose. Regina bent over to grab the invitation in front of her looking at it emotionless. She laughed plainly while reaching into her pockets and grabbing the blade that was rolled in a piece of paper towel. She stared at the baby shower invitation once more cutting her wrist and letting the blood fall freely into the paper.

"No decency whatsoever" she whispered while she looked how her blood stained the paper. The invitation was from her ex-husband, Daniel, and her ex best friend, Zelena. The idiot 'fell in love' with the red head but they didn't have the 'courage' to let their emotions flow until one day it happened and they were fucking around for a whole year until Regina found out the hard way.

"Seven years with the bastard and almost twenty years being friends with the witch. HA!" she whispered grabbing the bottle besides her and pouring some in the open wound. She didn't even flinch; she was so used to the pain that it didn't even bother her anymore. With the other hand she ripped her shirt using it as a bandage.

Regina was a woman of routine. She would wake up really early to go for a jog. She would get to the house to wake up Daniel , make him breakfast help him get ready for work and then she would get ready to go to her law firm. Five years of routine, it was so natural to her. However, one day she wasn't feeling well, she decided to put an end to her suspicion and bought a few pregnancy test, all positive. She was so happy so she decided to surprise Daniel and get to the house earlier than she used too. As soon as she opened the door she was greeted by moans that were coming from her room. Regina left her purse on top of the table next to the front door and jogged to the master room. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her husband and best friends were in the middle of fucking each other. She froze but when Daniel looked at her she came to her senses and left the room. She never fought for the property that was bought during their marriage, or her personal things. She just signed the divorce papers and soon after she fell into a few habits. Habits that were keeping her locked in a haze, an induced fantasy that she was planning to never let go.

"They can shove their party up in their asses if they want" she whispered while making a great effort to stand up. One leg after the other and she was out of the tub making her way to her shower taking her clothes in the process.

After a couple of hours she was ready to go. Before she left, she rolled up a blunt to smoke it on her way to her destination. She knew the way very well, she could be stone or drunk and she will always find the way to her favorite club, Spice It Up. One of the most popular high end Swinger clubs in Los Angeles. She loved to watch people getting it on and also she had a few candidates just in case she wanted to release pressure afterwards. She had a very extended catalogue, it wasn't like she was paid for her service, it was just guys that she knew she could have fun with. Leo was the oldest of them all, in his fifties, he liked to be touch but not touch people. Jefferson was a freak, he knew all the Kamasutra positions, and he loved to try them with her. Graham was her Christian Grey, masculine, hard and was ready to give her some BDSM. Samdi liked it rough but he will pour so many emotions on each thrust and last but not least, Robin. He was such a gentleman, but for her he was too much sometimes. All of them married with a family, a past and a future ahead. She had the opportunity to be with their wives. She loved the female anatomy but not even that made her satisfy.

"Hello beautiful" a deep voice took her out of her trance.

"Samdi" she said smiling while extending her arm, the man grabbed it and give her hand a gentle kiss.

"No company today huh?" she said with a little bit of curiosity.

"No, one of our little ones is sick and Ursula stayed at home to take care of him"

Regina nodded.

"Hello my laidy" Robin gave her a kiss on her shoulder.

"What's up gorgeous?" Jefferson appeared on her right side.

"My Queen… it is an honor to see you" Leo bow and she reply with the same gesture.

"What a PLEASSURE to see you" Graham whispered in her ear. At that she moaned quietly.

"What is this? Are you guys going to do an intervention or something? Did you guys plan this?"

"Yes, we want you to have one of the best nights of your entire life. What do you say?" Leo said looking at her hopeful.

Regina had nothing to lose, her life was over. Her future was shattered that day that she found out about Daniel and Zelena. She thought she had a fighting chance for the baby she was expecting, but a few nights after, she lost it too. So she would go with these guys and let them do whatever they wanted with her.

"Ok, boys….lead the way"

Regina followed the men to one of the biggest private rooms in the club. They took turns in getting her naked but Robin was the one who took it to the bed. Each man took the time with her, some of them were very rough and others very gentle. All of them were very satisfied at the end leaving a very unsatisfied Regina, alone in that cold room. She was staring at the ceiling, thinking when was the last time she cried. It was a long time ago, that she knew, and it was killing her slowly. However, death was taking her time with her, she was ready, but apparently she had to suffer more to be worthy of it.

After a few minutes, she stood up, dressed herself and got out of the club. On her way to her house she couldn't resist the big red sign on the other side of the street 'Liquor Store'. She stumbled a little but made it to the place buying a bottle of whisky and a pack of cigarettes. She got out of the store, opened the bottle, took a big gulp and continued walking. She got home, took her high heels off and walked to her phone. She saw the red light of voice mails blinking and pressed it.

"Regina, please answer me. I haven't heard from you in a while… I just wanted to know if you are ok big sis. Love you"

Regina stared at the machine. "Go fuck yourself Emma… traitor". Emma was her little sister. She took Regina's place in the firm a year ago after she was diagnosed by a psychologist. Emma didn't fight for her. She knew she wasn't capable of holding the position but, her little sister didn't say otherwise, she wanted her to go to therapy and spend a couple of weeks in a psychiatric hospital. The formal lawyer hit the machine and went to her kitchen opening her fridge for the first time in a week. She was eating more fast food than homemade but the munchies were kicking in and it was too late to order something. There was nothing inside, so she slammed the door and went to her cabinets praying that she had something in there.

"Bingo" she said when she saw a box of expired twinkies.

"This could work" she said opening them and eating the first pair. Six twinkies down but after the last bite she ran to the bathroom and emptied her stomach inside the tub.

"Fuck…my…life" she whispered closing her eyes and trying to stand up. She stumbled to her room, fell into the bed and fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

HHHHHHH

Regina woke up past 2pm like always. Her day began with coffee with whiskey and half a bagel. Then she would grab a bottle of vodka that will last her a couple of hours. She would clean her tub and watch tv until it was time to repeat the same routine as the night before.

She was on the tub watching her drops of blood fall from her wrist when her phone went off. She looked at the device in front of her, it was Daniel.

Idiot (iMessage): It had been 1 year since it happened Regina, you can't …

The message was cut off and the light extinguished.

Regina stared at her phone for a long time. She didn't even know what day was today, but it was fine with her. The little she knew the better, especially after all the pain that she went through that past year. The formal lawyer stood from the tub and went to take a shower to get ready for the night.

Tonight she wanted to change location, which meant new people and new couples, so the Rabbit Hole it was. As soon as she got in she felt a great vibe, she went to the bar to order a drink and turned around to see her options. It didn't take her too long to know who her next 'friends' were. The man felt that someone was watching him so he lifted his head and locked eyes with Regina. He smiled at her while nudging at the woman next to him. She looked at him and then followed his gaze to Regina. The woman smiled and bowed her head a little bit. Regina couldn't see clearly because it was too dark. However, for the first time in a long time she was nervous, and when she saw that the couple was walking towards her, she lost it. The butterflies that she thought dead by now where flipping their wings like never before.

"Hello… My name is David" the man said extending his hand and smiling widely.

"Hi… David… My name is Kelly" the brunette said returning the smile. She never used her real name, at the end of the day she was a very prestige lawyer and her name couldn't go around this kind of places.

"Nice to meet you… She…" he said gesturing with his head to the beautiful woman next to him… "Is my best friend Mal." Mal smiled extending her hand to Regina.

"Nice to meet you Kelly" Regina could feel that she was very excited as well.

"Do you want to join us?... or… are you waiting for someone?" asked David hoping she wasn't.

"I… me… I mean… no." Regina said a little embarrassed for her lack of eloquence.

Mal giggled a little and David laughed freely. The woman grabbed Regina's hand and guided her to their table. David grabbed the chairs for the two women and then sat in the middle of them.

"Oh David… maybe today is the day that we will find your significant other" Mal said looking at him sideways and smiling a little.

"What are you talking about? I already found her" he said with sarcasm.

Mal punched him in the shoulder.

"Ow! What did I say now?" "You know what I meant… best sex in my life"

"Oh please, don't try to save yourself. And you know better than that… Sex is not everything" she said raising a brow.

David laughed grabbing her face and giving her a passionate kiss.

Regina looked at the friends making out and she couldn't deny the fire that was emerging between her legs. Mal stopped the kiss looking at the other side of David. She saw the lust in Regina's eyes so she knew that she was ready to join them in one of the private rooms.

"What do you say Regina? Should we take this to a more private place?" Mal said, at that David raised a brow looking at the brunette.

Regina's heart was pounding. She nodded and then realized that she didn't really know what she was nodding for. Her thoughts were completely fog by pure lust. David and Mal stood up and lead the way.

David and Mal did wonders to Regina that night. For the first time in a long time she felt completely satisfy. It was like they knew her for a long time; she got the perfect amount of pain, pleasure and love. And the connection that she felt with both of them was unique, that was for sure. The brunette stared at the couple while they were getting dress. It was so fun to watch them throw their clothes to one another and laughing in the process.

"Are we going to see you again Kelly?" Mal asked.

"Regina… My name is Regina"

"Alright, Regina… beautiful name by the way…"he said winking at her.

"So? Are we?"

"Yes, same place, same time" she said trying to winking at him in return.

"Awesome!" he said grabbing his friend's hand. Mal took it blowing a kiss to Regina on her way out.

Regina lay there for a while reliving all the emotions and what happened that night until her cellphone went off.

Idiot: Regina… please answered me. I need to know if you are ok.

"Ugh! Why didn't I block him before?" she asked herself unlocking her phone and opening the chat. She was so angry that she forgot about the previous text that he sent her that night. Her heart shattered in million pieces when she saw a bold little head, skin white like snow covered by bruises, an opening in his chest, a big smile and big eyes just like hers staring at her through the screen.

"It had been 1 year since it happen Regina. You can't run away from reality to your fantasy world forever. Our son is gone, you have to accept that and move on. I was an idiot; I left you alone in the worst part of your life. You were distant and I was not patience. And I am so sorry, but for our son, I beg you to come back and face life, mourned him and then let him go.

Regina didn't know what it was, if it was the emotions from the night or it was just her body saying enough but she let her tears free. She started sobbing and screaming for her lost. Not the loss of a husband, no… the loss of her baby boy to one of the worst diseases in the world, cancer.

"Henry… my beautiful baby. WHY? HENRY!" the brunette screams were echoing through the hallways. They got to David who was talking to the bouncer who was one of his best friends.

"Regina? REGINA!" David ran to the room finding Regina in fetal position screaming and crying hysterically. He didn't think twice and went to her embracing her in a hug.

"That's ok sweetheart. I am here" Regina hugged him back crying on his shoulder.

"It is not fair David" she said between sobs.

David was very confused but everything went clear when he saw the picture on her phone before it went completely black.

"Oh Regina" he said hugging her even tighter and giving her a kiss on top of her head.