note: I don't own Final Fantasy. IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!....And I don't own Starbucks either.

Final Deathmatch!

Announcer: HEY y'all and welcome to- *looks around to see no one was paying attention. rolls eyes and goes up to chalk board to the side, holding up microphone and scratching her nails on it. A loud scream from everyone, and silence* Ahem, thank you. As I was saying...HEY y'all and welcome to the first annual Final Deathmatch! My name is Jack and I'll be your host for this evening! *Hears a few punks in the back round laughing, and tries to ignore* This is where we compete characters from Final Fantasy's VII, VIII, and X against each other!

Person: Hey, speak English!

Jack: I did...

Person: What the heck, she's a girl and her name's Jack!

Other guy: Yeah, talk about funny! I thought I was just going to laugh at this stupid rip off, but this is great!

Jack: Hey this is not a rip off! *in tears* And so what if my name's Jacqueline... *She recognizes them as Cloud and Auron, and runs up. She chases them out with Ultima threatening their lives. Going back, she smiles, tilting her head.* Anyway, let's get this party started!

*desk suddenly appears, where she sits in her comfy chair* Now first off, we'll do the villains. Don't ask why, I just feel like it. Now on with the show!

*Ultimacia suddenly appears in the arena in a puff of smoke. She smiles and waves like a prom queen, and soon begins to choke on the smoke around her.*

Jack: Our first competitor is Ultimacia from Final Fantasy Eight. She enjoys filing her nails, messing up time, and taking long, luscious walks around her torturous castle. *Shivers, and tries not to look to disturbed.* Isn't that nice. That's have a round of applause.

*small applause from audience. She turns angry, and summons her giant beast creature. A loud applause begins to ring, and she smirks, sending it away*

Jack:....Anyway our next opponent is Yu Yevon....Uh...*Looks around* Where is it anyway?

Yevon *in small, insignificant voice* Down here, fo!

Jack: *looks over desk to find small, tick like creature* Oh, and here you have him, ladies and gents!

Yevon *jumping on desk and to microphone*: Yeah, I just wanted to say that no matter what people think, I am the greatest boss alive! That's right. *jumps off with microphone still dragging by him with his powers and head out to the middle of arena* No matter what I look like, always remember that I controlled Sin! I was the one who took out Spira and all those who opposed me! I am the greatest! *stands on two legs and points to Ultimacia* And I can so kick your-

Sephiroth: *Look under his shoe to find that he had just squashed Yu Yevon. A loud cheer goes up, only because he got Yu Yevon to shut up*

Jack: And here is the boss you've all been waiting for people! Sephiroth, from Final Fantasy Seven! Now let the round begin!

Sephiroth:....

Ultimacia *looking him over*: Hmm....You're not such a pushover yourself.

Sephiroth:...

Ultimacia *walking over to him, trying to look...yeah*: Hey, cutie, wanna go out sometime?

Sephiroth: I don't know if Mother would approve of you.

Ultimacia *Putting a finger on the side on his face looking him over again* : Well, what momma don't know can't hurt her, can it?

Sephiroth *looking up*: What do you think, Mother?

*Ultimacia turns around to find Jenova looming over her. With one tentacle, she wraps her up and swallows her. Sephiroth grins menacingly, and a loud cheer goes up*

Sephiroth: My thoughts exactly

Jenova: Roar, roar.

Sephiroth: What was that? You want to go have tea?

Jenova: Roar, Roar, Roar.

Spehiroth: Alright. We'll stop at a Starbucks.

Jenova: Roar.

*With that they walk out. Everyone turns to Jack, who's still standing on the desk cheering wildly*

Jack: YEAH!!! GO SEPHY! YOU TEACH THAT SLUT WHO'S....*stops, noticing that everything was quiet. She sits back in her chair slowly, grabbing the microphone and clearing her throat* Uh, well that's all for now. Stay tuned for the next match....if I don't get fired....

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So what did you think? I know it isn't the greatest, but It'll probably get better as it goes on. Please review and tell me what you thought of it, and what match should I do next!