Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gravity Falls.
Chapter One: Welcome to Gravity Falls
By Loyal-LeoBlade
"Hello," normal speaking
"Idiot," Thoughts
"Great Breakthrough!" Jutsu and spells
Naruko's Point of View
Hello, my name is Naruto Uzumaki, the jinjuriki of the Kyuubi-no-Kitsune, the Orange Hokage, and a Child of Prophecy. And through my many reincarnation, I've been Bruce Banner (the Hulk)(1), Richard Grayson (Robin/Nightwing)(2), Harry Potter, Iceman(3), "it was good to be blonde again", and currently, Naruko Pines. That is right I am a girl now; laugh it up. I am glad that my personality changed with the gender so that I did not do anything…awkward. I am now tomboy instead of well boy.
Usually, I would have sealed my memories by now, but Kami, "lovely lady by the way" told me not to. I think she told me not to because this lifetime would so normal it would not of mattered. I really am glad I did not seal my memories right now.
OoOoOoOo
"It's getting closer!" my big sister, Mabel cried panicky.
"Step on it Dipper!" I shouted as the monster chasing us tried to grab us. I discreetly hid the Great Breakthrough I launched by using my camera to take a picture.
"It's not the time to take a picture Naruko!" Dipper said as he tried to make the cart go faster.
"Whoa!" We screamed as Dipper launched the golf cart off a rock. As Mabel started to look green around the gills, the monster threw a tree at us. The tree went over our heads and crashed twenty feet in front of us.
"Look out!" Dipper swerved to avoid the tree.
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Let us get back to how this all began.
OoOoOoOo
It all started when our parents decided that we need some fresh air (mainly Dipper and Mabel, though they may off gotten tired of my pranks). They shipped us out to the unknown town of Gravity Falls, Oregon to stay with our Great Uncle Stan.
OoOoOoOo
"This attic is amazing, check out all my splinters," Mabel said as she put up a poster.
"And there's a goat on my bed," Dipper said as he noticed the goat.
"Hello friend," Mabel said as she tried to pet the goat. The goat immediately started chewing on her sweater. "Oh… yes you can continue chewing on my sweater." Mabel said laughing.
"There is a fox kit in my pillow," I said as I pulled the sleeping kit out of my pillow. Mabel immediately started petting the small, orange kit.
"Cute," she cooed. "What are you going to name him?"
"Kurama," I answered.
OoOoOoOo
Mabel and I had quickly taken to our new surroundings; Dipper on the other hand was having some trouble adapting. I laughed as I saw Grunkle Stan in a monster mask sneak up on Dipper. I laughed harder when Grunkle Stan started choking from laughing to hard. Grunkle Stan had turned his house into a tourist trap called the Mystery Shack (or the Mystery Hack if you look at the big sign).
OoOoOoOo
"Ladies and Gentlemen, behold, the Sascrotch!" Grunkle Stan said to the tourist. Naturally, as he said that I pantsed the Sascrotch. "Naruko! Stop fooling around and get back to work!"
You guessed it. We had to work there. "Ooo," Mabel said as she reached for a giant eye display. Grunkle Stan quickly whacked her hand away.
"No touching the merchandise."
"Then how do you s'posed we clean the merchandise," I asked impertinently. "We need to touch it to clean it."
"Well … um," he said, trying to come up with an answer. "Your pigtails are stupid." He announced before leaving the room.
"Thanks Naruko," Mabel said as Dipper gave me high five.
"You're welcome."
"Well you got my respect," Wendy, a part-time employee said. "It took me a week before I talked back to Stan."
OoOoOoOo
It seemed like it would be the same boring routine the whole summer (other than my multiple pranks). It was not until one fateful day that everything changed.
OoOoOoOo
"He's looking at it," Mabel squealed as she peeked through the bookcase/shelf to look at a boy.
"Uhhh. Do you like me?" the boy read, "'Yes! Definitely! ABSOLUTELY!'?" The boy looked around confused while Mabel giggled.
"I rigged it."
"Err…sis?" Mabel turned to look at me as I finished putting up Mystery Shack merchandise. "I know you are going through your whole boy crazy phase, but aren't you going a little bit extreme?"
"What? Nooo!" Mabel denied. "Come on Naruko, this is my first summer away from home. This is my chance to have an epic summer romance."
Dipper decided to cut in. "Yeah but do you need to flirt with every boy you see?"
"You even started to flirt with me the one time I wore my baggy, blue hoodie, with the hood up(4)," I teased as I made her remember that incident.
"I thought you promised you would not bring that up," she accused, pointing a finger at me.
"No I said that I would not mention it to anyone who did not know already," I defended myself.
"Right," she mumbled. "Anyways. Dipper, my answer is 'yes.'" Dipper and I snorted at Mabel's response. "Snort all you want guys but this summer will be different. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now!" She declared. Just then, Grunkle Stan walked through the door in all his golden age beauty. "What! Nooo!" Mabel exclaimed in despair, as Dipper and I burst out laughing.
"I hope I don't end up like you when I get older," I teased.
"Alright, alright people look alive. I need someone to hammer up some signs in the spooky part of the forest." He said.
"Not it," Mabel said with Dipper and me following soon after.
"Also not it," a wide man said from where he was putting up a shelf.
"No one talking to you Soos," Grunkle Stan deadpanned.
"And I'm cool with that," Soos said as he took a bite out a chocolate bar.
"Wendy, I need you to put up some signs," Grunkle Stan told the teenage redhead at the cash register.
"I would but I *cough* can't reach it," Wendy replied, not looking up from her magazine.
"I'll fire all of you if I could," Grunkle Stan said. "Alright let's make it, ennie-"
"I have to walk Kurama old man!" I shouted while running up stairs, leaving my older siblings to the job.
OoOoOoOo
Walking around town with Kurama, I had to avoid being arrested by some idiot police officers for letting Kurama off a leash, ran away from a creepy kid who looked like a girl so much that Kurama attacked his hair, and I even arm-wrestled Manly Dan and nearly won. As I returned to shack with Kurama, I spotted Dipper and Mabel walking back from the spooky part of the forest with a strange book. The cover had a six-fingered hand with a "3" in the middle.
"What's that?" I asked while Kurama climbed onto my shoulder to get a better look at the book.
"A book Dipper found in forest," Mabel replied.
"Mabel!" Dipper exclaimed.
"What I won't tell anyone," I defended myself.
"Let's talk about it inside," Dipper said going in to the Mystery Shack.
OoOoOoOo
"It's amazing. Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid by the book says Gravity Falls has a secret dark side." Dipper said, as we got comfortable.
"Whoa, shut up!" Mabel said
"And get this after a certain point the pages just stop, like the person writing it disappeared," Dipper excitedly said.
"Creepy," I murmured. "When can we go explore the dark side?" I asked leaning back in my chair.
"I don't know," Dipper said. "When we have some free time I guess." The doorbell rang just then.
"Time to spill the beans," Mabel spills the cans of beans I was reaching for, earning a "hey" from me. "This girl got a date."
"What!" I shouted losing my balance and ending up on the floor.
"You okay Naruko," Dipper and Mabel asked.
"Yeah," I replied sitting on the couch.
"Anyways, in the half-hour I was gone and Naruko was walking Kurama, you already got a boy friend," Dipper face-palmed.
"What can I say, I'm adorable," she said.
"If he hurts you, I'll kill him for you," I said, angry.
"Naruko!" Mabel warned. The doorbell rang again and Mabel went to open the door. As she left, Dipper started to read the "3" book.
"What are you reading there slick," Grunkle Stan asked as he walked in. Dipper quickly tossed me the book, which I hid, and he grabbed a nearby magazine.
"Just…'Gold Chains for Old Men'?" Dipper said reading the title.
"That's a good issue," Grunkle Stan beamed causing me to giggle.
"Guys, say hello to my boyfriend," Mabel said as she walked in with a person in a tattered hoodie. I stared at the small branch in his hood for a second before looking away.
"Sup," the black-clad teen greeted.
"Hey."
"How's it hanging?"
"I'm watching you," I said as I glared at him, making him shift nervously. I sniffed the air for a second trying to find anything strange about him. "He smells like the forest, jam, dirt, and bugs. He also has five, individual/personal scents. What is he?"
"We met in the cemetery, he is really deep," Mabel said grabbing his arms. "Oh, you have some muscle, I like that."
"So what is your name," Dipper asked.
"Uh…normal," he shouted, "MAN!"
"He means Norman," Mabel explained.
"Are you bleeding 'Norman'?" Dipper asked as I finally noticed the red liquid on Norman's cheek.
"Its jam," he answered. "That answers the jam smell," I thought.
"I love jam," Mabel said, playfully shoving Norman. "Look at this." She said, gesturing at Norman and herself.
"And I hate it," I said bluntly.
"Naruko!" Mabel seethed. "Stop being a jerk in front of my boyfriend. I'm sorry Norman for my little sister." She apologized to Norman but it seemed he did not mind.
"So do you want to go hold hands or whatever," Norman asked Mabel.
Mabel giggled excitedly and said, "Don't wait up." Mabel left the room running happily, forgetting my behavior. Norman made a hand gesture as he left, and in the process, he slammed in to the door twice.
"There's something not right about that guy," I said to Dipper.
"I know but did you have to say it in front of Mabel," Dipper responded. "It was rude."
"I'm sorry but something about him really sets me of," I said. "It's like the time I was five and I got that strange feeling while we were exploring the woods around the house. And we were suddenly attacked by that group of little people."
"I think we should look in the book for answers," Dipper says as Grunkle Stan left the room. "If you are getting a bad feeling around Norman, something must be up."
OoOoOoOo
"Know for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for… TEEMAGERS!" Dipper gasped as he read the book. "Beware Gravity Falls' malevolent undead!"
"That is definitely offensive to teens," I commented. "I mean I have a bad attitude and I'm not a zombie."
"But you're nine," Dipper pointed out. "It wouldn't even apply to you."
"Mabel is a dating a freaking zombie!" I suddenly remembered, thankfully before we got to off track and before we got into an awkward topic. "I knew there was something wrong with him."
"You're right!" Dipper panicked remembering Mabel's zombie boyfriend. We looked out the window to see Norman walking towards Mabel all zombie-like. "OH NO, MABEL!" Dipper shouted, pounding on the window. I grabbed the nearest weapon, a conveniently placed spear, and was about to open the window to throw it when Norman put a daisy necklace around Mabel's neck.
"There are two logical explanations. One, we are going crazy from how boring this place is, or two, Norman is biding his time for the perfect moment," I told Dipper, putting the spear back. He nodded, agreeing with me.
"That's definitely a problem," Soos said, scaring us half to death. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but notice you two talking about zombies in this empty room."
"Soos, do you think Mabel's boyfriend is a zombie," Dipper asked.
"Hmmm… how many brains did you see the guy eat," questioned Soos.
"None that we have not witnessed nor that we can prove happened," I said disappointed.
"Don't worry, I believe you," Soos assured us. "I am always noticing weird stuff around town. Like the mailman, I'm pretty sure that guy's a werewolf."
"Really?" I asked. "I thought he was more of a Sasquatch, since he looks like that all the time and not just during the full moon."
"Good point," Soos agreed. "But you first need evidence or else everyone will think you are a major coco- clock."
"Dipper, get your video camera, I'll get my digital camera," I ordered as Soos left the room to unclog the portable toilets.
OoOoOoOo
After getting our cameras, Dipper and I stalked… err… I mean followed Norman and Mabel around. A couple of times I had to stop myself from quoting the Princess Bride and telling Dipper to "Look through Norman's clothes and look for loose change" when Norman fell on his face. I only stopped because the one time I said it, Mabel almost taught us.
After a few hours of following Norman and Mabel around, Dipper and I decided we had enough evidence. After Mabel returned to the shack, we decided to confront her.
OoOoOoOo
"Mabel we have to talk," Dipper informed Mabel as we walked into the attic.
"It's about Norman," I told her.
"Isn't he the greatest," Mabel said. "Look at the smooch mark he gave me." Mabel turned and showed us the big red mark on her cheek.
"I'll get Grunkle Stan's handgun," I said as Dipper screamed as he saw the mark.
"Naruko!" Mabel scolded. "You two are so gullible; I got this from an accident with the leaf blower." She giggled, "That was fun."
"So no handgun?" I inquired.
"Not yet, Naruko," Dipper said, causing me to groan. "Mabel, what I'm trying to tell you is that Norman is not who he says he is." He pulled out the "3" book.
"Huh," Mabel gasped, before lowering her voice. "You don't think he might be a… vampire?"
"You got the undead part right," I muttered.
"Guess again dear sister… shabam," Dipper dramatically opened the book to "Gnomes."
"Dude, you got gnomes," I said.
"Oh sorry," Dipper said turning the page. "Shabam!"
"A zombie? That is not funny guys," Mabel said in disbelief.
"I'm sorry but there is so much evidence." I informed her. "Though it would be funny if he turned out to be a few gnomes on top of each other, it would explain his multiple scents." They did not even bat an eyelash at my strange comment. I told them about my strong sense of smell years ago.
"Come on Mabel, haven't you notice the bleeding, the limp, and the grunt, I mean come on, its classic zombie characteristics," Dipper told Mabel our evidence.
"Actually, Dipper I have verified that it was jam on his face," I said. "But the rest is true." Of course, Mabel did not believe us.
"Don't you remember what the book said, 'trust no one'," Dipper said.
"Then trust me, trust Mabel," Mabel asked us.
"Mabel, what part of 'HE'S GOING TO EAT YOUR BRAIN, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!" I shouted, grabbing her shoulders.
"Guys, Norman and I are going on a date at five. And I'm going to be beautiful and he is going to be dreamy and I'm not going to let you two ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies," Mabel shouted as she pushed Dipper out. She then grabbed me by my hair ("My hair!") and threw me out.
"At least take the handgun," I screamed as I crashed into Dipper. "OW!" Mabel slammed the door shut as soon as I was out.
OoOoOoOo
"Hi Norman! How do I look?" Mabel asked Norman, showing her sweater.
"Shiny," Norman grunted.
"You always know what to say," giggled Mabel as they walked away.
"Soos was right, we don't have any real evidence," Dipper said as we reviewed his tape. "Maybe we're just being paran-" We saw a clip of Norman putting his hand back on. "Wait what!"
"I KNEW IT! I knew we should of snuck Grunkle Stan's handgun in to her sweater," I despaired. "Why didn't I listen to my gut?! Why?!"
"We were right," Dipper, gasped as his chair flipped over. "Oh my god! What do we do, what do we do. Grunkle Stan!" I ran after Dipper as he ran out the door.
"And here we have 'Rock That Looks like a Face' rock, the rock that looks like a face," Grunkle Stan addressed the crowd.
"Does it look like a rock," a hillbilly like man asked.
"No, it's a rock that looks like a face," Stan replied.
"Is it a face?" a tourist asked.
"No, it just looks like a face," Stan face palmed.
"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper and I shouted, trying to get through the crowd.
"For the fifth time! It is not a real face!" Grunkle Stan shouted.
"*Gasp* Wendy!" Dipper shouted when he notice Wendy pull up in the golf cart. We quickly ran over to her. "Wendy, we need to borrow the golf cart to save our sister from a zombie!" Wendy simply stared at us for a second; I quickly use my patented puppy dog eye-no-Jutsu on her. She did not stand a chance.
"Try not to hit anyone," Wendy winked at us as she gave Dipper the keys. We were about to take off when Soos stopped us.
"This is for the zombie," Soos handed us a shovel. "And this is incase you see a piñata." Soos handed me a baseball bat.
"Thanks!" We shouted as we took off in the golf cart.
OoOoOoOo
"Mabel, are you there," I shouted into the woods as we sped by. "Scream if you can hear me."
"Naruko! Dipper! Help me!" Mabel shouted form somewhere in the woods.
"Mabel! We're coming," called back as he went off road. We soon reached a clearing where Mabel was fighting a horde of…gnomes?
"Mabel!" Dipper shouted as he grabbed the shovel and stood confused as he observed his surroundings. "Gnomes? I was way off."
"Guys, help! Norman turned out to be a bunch off gnomes and they're a bunch of jerks," Mabel said as she punched and kicked the gnomes. I grabbed the baseball bat and started batting. "Ow, the hair," Mabel winced as a gnome grabbed her hair. I continued to hit the gnomes as Dipper looked through the book.
"Gnomes, little men of the forest," Dipper read aloud. "Weakness unknown." Dipper finally looked up from the book to see Mabel and I tied down, somehow. One moment I was fighting and the next I was tied down.
"Now that the little nuisance is taken care of, let's get on with the marriage," the lead gnome said, referring to me.
"Hey! Leave my sisters alone!" Dipper ordered as he walked up to the brown bearded gnome.
"Look this is one big misunderstanding," the gnome said. "Their not in any real danger. Your sister only has to marry all one thousand of us and be our queen for all eternity. And after the marriage, we will let the younger girl go."
"No deal lawn ornament," I shouted as I struggle against the ninja-wire like rope.
"Watch your mouth girl; you don't know who you are dealing with. The gnomes are a powerful race. You have no idea what we're capable of…" the gnome was so busy ranting, he did not notice dipper swinging the shovel until he was knocked to the side. Dipper quickly used the shovel to cut our biddings. I grabbed my bat and started whacking the gnomes, covering my siblings' retreat. I ran after them as they reached the cart.
"Go, go, go!" I shouted as I jumped into the golf cart. Dipper quickly stepped on it.
"Did we lose them," Mabel asked after a few moments of going 23 mph.
"Don't worry, it's like the time we ran from those little people in the woods four years ago," I assured her. "The gnomes are just like them, they will never catch us."
"Yeah their legs are like, very tiny," Dipper said.
"Thump-thump-thump."
"What was that?" Mabel asked nervously, as Dipper braked.
"Step on it!" I shouted as I stopped the gnome-monster-thing chasing us.
"Teamwork guys, like we practiced," the leader gnome said. "ROAR" the monster roared.
"Move! Move!" Mabel told Dipper who quickly stepped on it.
"No! Come back with our queen!" the lead gnome shouted. The monster thrust its hand towards us and launched gnomes at us. I grabbed the bat and tried to keep the gnomes off my sibling's backs.
"AAA!" a gnome shouted as he latched onto my face. I dropped the bat trying to rip it from my face.
"Hang on Naruko!" Mabel said after she punched a gnome off Dipper. She started punching my face to get it off. Unfortunately, I did not have my seatbelt on and I knocked out of the cart. I barely managed to grab the back of the seat before I fell off. The gnome had fallen off but now I was in danger of falling into the path of the gnome monster.
"I got you!" Mabel shouted as she grabbed my arm.
"Never do that again," I said when she pulled me up.
"Okay." Mabel said before the monster made a grab for us. I hid a discrete the Great Breakthrough I launched by taking a picture with my digital camera.
"Naruko this is no time to take a picture!" Dipper said as he tried to make the golf cart go faster.
"Whoa," I yelped as Dipper launched the golf cart off a rock. I lost my grip on my camera and it went sailing into the woods. "Come on!" As I grumbled about my camera, I noticed that the monster threw a tree. It went over our heads and crashed about thirty feet in front of us.
"Look out!" Dipper swerved to avoid the tree. We went under the tree and crashed in front of the Mystery Shack. The monster slowly stalked towards us as we backed up against the side of the shack.
"I never thought it would end like this," Dipper said. "I have always thought that Naruko would do me in." Mabel nodded in agreement.
"And I always thought vegetables would do me in," I muttered, a bit upset at Dippers comment.
"I going to do it," Mabel said determined.
"What! No." "Don't." Dipper and I tried to stop her.
"No. I have to do this, trust me," Mabel said as she walked up to the gnome monster. "Okay Jeff, I'll marry you."
"Hotdog!" Jeff the gnome exclaimed as he climbed down the monster. When he was down, I angrily watched as he pulled out a ring and put it on my sister's finger. "To the forest."
"You may kiss the bride," Mabel said as Jeff was about to walk away. I really wished I had a kunai now.
"Don't mind if I do," Jeff said as he puckered his lips. I grinned as I saw what Mabel was planning.
"Kiss this you jerk," Mabel declared as she put the leaf blower to suck.
"Wh-what is this," Jeff asked as he was being sucked in.
"This is for lying to me, kidnapping me, and for trying to hurt my SIBLINGS," Mabel shouted as the gnome was sucked into the nuzzle. "Want to do the honors," Mabel asked us from where we were standing. I quickly walked over to her after I snapped Dipper out of his shock.
"Gladly." we said as we pointed the leaf blower at the gnome monster. "1...2...3..." we all said as we put the leaf blower to 'blow.' Jeff hit the monster, sending gnomes everywhere.
"This isn't the last you'll hear of me," Jeff shouted as he soared into the forest.
"Thanks guys," Mabel said as the gnomes fled. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you two, you were only trying to save me." We smiled in thanks.
"Awkward sibling hug?" I asked, opening my arms.
"Awkward sibling hug," my siblings said as we hugged.
OoOoOoOo
"Man what happened to you three," Grunkle Stan asked as we walked in. "You look like you got beat up by cops." He laughed aloud. I really wanted to ask him how he knows how a person looks like after being beat up by cops but I was too tired. "Hey, I accidentally over stocked some things so why don't you three take one thing from the shop," Grunkle Stan said. "On the house." That really woke me up; Grunkle Stan never would give stuff free.
"What's the catch," Dipper asked.
"The catch is," Grunkle Stan said, "take something before I change my mind." Dipper got a new hat and Mabel picked, comically, a grappling hook. I looked through the boxes for a while before I found a haitei. I stared in disbelief for a few minutes. It had two symbols, a leaf and a whirlpool side by side. I picked it up, moved my goggles to my neck and put the haitei on my forehead.
"Nice headband," Grunkle Stan said. "Find it with the reject ninja costumes? Ha!" I glared at him before a blue-green glint caught my eyes. I looked at it and grinned.
"I wonder what Auntie Edanust (AN: Tsunade backwards) would do if she found out who stole her necklace," I said, causing Grunkle Stan to go wide-eyed in fear.
"I regret nothing!" declared Grunkle Stan as he smashed through a closed window, breaking it. We all laughed as we watched Grunkle Stan run into the woods. Life was good.
OoOoOoOo
End Chapter
I lived, died, and came back again. This is my new story.
Spoiler alert for readers, the titles of my chapters will be the cryptograms at the end of the end credits of the episode.
AN1: This is the Hulk from Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes.
AN2: The Robin from Young Justice.
AN3: The Iceman from X-Men; Evolution.
AN4: Naruko was facing away from Mabel, her hood was up, and Naruko's hoodie was so baggy, Mabel thought she was a guy and so she started flirting with her.